Is it ok to plan a trip without your significant other knowing? So the dad of my one year old and significant other for almost 6years planning a trip going to out of the country without me knowing. During my visit, I found out after checking through his fb (which im not his friends), i saw the plans on his phone..I am currently living in a different state than he is and i find it rather disturbing for him not to even mention it to me that he has plans on leaving the country. When i confronted him about it he claimed he wouldve eventually tell me before leaving. Now this he claim is a trip with his boys but some females have been invited to go along..some i know of and im cool with them being friends but there is one that i havent known anything of and its not like she has been friends with the other females to be invited to tag along. She was someone he knew of from high school and apparently lost touch with until finding each other back on fb and now after years not knowing what each other have been up to he invited her to go along with them. I find that to be rather fishy..What do u think???
Thanks to everyone for their input, I never wanted to become a statistic of being a single mom...which nothing is wrong with that but i grew up in a household where there was both parents up til today..Its hard enough for two people care for a child, growing them up molding them in the decent woman/man they want them to become much less one parent
No, I'd be totally cool with that.
j/k ... I'd let this fishy fish swim away (except I'd keep him on the hook for child support!).
Every last word here screams SHADY to me. You have a 1 year old together and you've been together for 6 years, yet he wants to go out of the country on a friends trip with males and females? Yea, I have a little jealous streak in me with my husband, but no way I'd let that fly. You're not even FB friends? Why do you feel the need to snoop? This is all really fishy...it doesn't sound like a solid foundation for a relationship going forward.
You aren't married to him.
But you've been with him for 6 years and he lives in another State.
And you have a 1 year old together.
But he is not there.
He has his own life.
You don't have a r.e.l.a.t.i.o.n.S.H.i.p.
And you are a single parent.
You live in a different state from him.
You feel the need to snoop through his FB and phone.
Yet you are surprised that he is planning activities without you.
His response was a blase' "would have eventually" told you that he was going on vacay.
This is not your significant other anymore.
This is your child's father.
It really doesn't matter who he is going with. It looks like he has moved on.
I am sorry.
I find the whole thing weird. He's been your SO for 6 years. He's the father of your one year old. But he lives in another state. You aren't friends on FB. He's planning an international trip without you. Calls it a boys trip, but girls are coming. And you snooped on his phone to find it all out. I think the whole thing sounds like BS.
The only reason your significant other has to plan a secret getaway is if they are planning on you attending and wish to surprise you.
Otherwise, dang right it's fishy. If he's taking some chick he knew in high school instead of you? I'd say the relationship is OVER.
Sorry.
He doesn't sound like your significant other, he sounds like the father of your child.
I'm sorry, H.. There at least 10 things in your post that tell me you're the only one in this relationship.
I H. your child support is paid by garnishment.
:(
Are the two of you in agreement about being exclusive? It sounds odd that he's your significant other, your baby's dad and yet lives in a different state, is not a FB friend and did not tell you about this trip. Unfortunately, it's sounding like you're a lot more committed to him as your significant other than he is to you. If he's supposedly in agreement with the level of your relationship, then the only way that this would ever be ok would be if he were surprising you with a romantic getaway. Otherwise, oh, heck, no.
It sounds like you and he have different ideas about your relationship. You need to discuss and decide what you want and what you expect. You will also need to realize that those two things won't always line up--desires and expectations--and that's okay. In the end, all you can do is determine what is acceptable for you.
Definately seems odd to me. I would be suspicious if for no other reason than the secrecy.
I think your post is fishy. The whole thing.
Not okay.
Nuh-uh. Never.
fishy?
fishy does not begin to cover this...for either of you.
living in different states, him planning a trip out of country without you knowing...how does that work? make sure you tell yourself this guy is single and acting like one and get on his back to pay for child support, and then let him go. in fact, push him out of your life.
Either you trust him enough or you don't. That's all it comes down to. Either he is trustworthy or not.
If he is trustworthy she could dance around butt naked begging him to F**k her and he's simply say "No thank you" and be done with it. So either he's trustworthy or he's not.
If you're living apart and he has a life of his own, you're not as 'significant' to each other as you think.
Take a step back and try to evaluate the reality of your situation without bringing your emotions into it. It may be time to end this relationship and move on.
I think he's up to something; something is not right. My first thought was that he had not yet told you because he was afraid you would get mad and he was just trying to put that off. BUT then you mention the female, and, well, it just doesn't seem right to me. I would NOT be okay with my hubby going on a trip without me but with an old female friend from high school. Nope, no way.
