Partial Thickness Burns to Palms and Feet in 14 Month Old

Accidents happen. This was a serious accident, but it's not like your husband purposely set your son down on top of the metal grate. He likely checked the temperature of the playground, and it didn't even occur to him that there were other surfaces that could be hot enough to cause an injury like this. I can guarantee he will be more vigilant after this!

I understand that it is hard to see your child in pain like that. I really do, after watching my (then 3 yo) daughter deal with an idiot nurse who tried to "pop" her broken elbow into place (twice!) by yanking on it. My daughter was arching back and couldn't even make a sound, until she got past the shock of it and started screaming herself voiceless... At which point I removed my daughter from that office and took her to the ER. (And I completely understood that, while her broken bone was preventable, the person who was watching her did not deserve to take the blame. It was an ACCIDENT. My husband still has a hard time letting it go though, and it's been a year.)

Your husband is likely feeling * incredibly* guilty. Seriously, if there is a worse feeling than being helpless while your child is in pain, it's feeling like you are the one caused it. :( you don't have to 100% "support" him, and it's ok to let him know how you feel. Your emotions are not subject to logic, and it will take some time for you to sort through and process. Just let him know that you are trying (and really do try.) this will be especially difficult right now and while your son is recovering. Let him know that in the future, he needs to be sure about injuries, not assume that they are not that severe. (A lot of people, myself included, take a "wait and see" or an "only if you are dying" approach to doctor visits. It is something that I have really struggled to overcome with my dd.) But please don't blame him too much. Also, allow him to tell you how HE feels about all of this. He may very well be covering his feelings of guilt and insecurity in his role as the father (ie, protector of he family... And he failed to protect his son...) with annoyance at you for 'refusing to support him.' Your son will heal, make sure your marriage does too.

I also suggest counseling for both of you. It is HARD to watch your child suffer serious injuries. My cousin almost lost her 2yo son after he was kicked in the head by a horse and suffered a Traumatic Brain Injury. Again, an extremely unfortunate accident that could have been prevented, but wasn't. (These things actually happen quite often. You should hear some of the stories my pediatric nurse aunt has) He was in a coma for 3 days, had to have a metal plate put in place after the pieces of his skull were put back into place-before waking up with tears in his brain. It was over a week before his chances of survival were high enough for his parents to breathe. It has been a year or so since it happened, and he has had to do extensive therapy to regain his speech, and still has behavioral problems and developmental setbacks that may be permanent. He has to wear braces on his legs to walk. She has suffered from Post Traumatic Stress from the entire ordeal. Therapy has saved their marriage, and helped them move past the blame game and into working together to help their son heal, while still showing their older daughter the same care and devotion she deserves.

Accidents happen. Even when you are sitting right next to your kid. No one expects playground ground surfaces to get that hot. I remember seeing a story a couple of years ago about a toddler who got 3rd degree burns on his feet from a playground surface made from recycled tires. One of my friends has a daughter who received 3rd degree burns on her feet when she ran through a firepit where they had put out a fire more than 12 hours earlier. Be forgiving. I know from my friend's experience that you have a long road ahead. If you harbor blame and anger it is only going to make the recovery process for you and your husband more difficult. And your son will pick up on that too. I know it is hard to forgive but for your son's sake try. Hopefully your husband will learn from this experience and be more understanding of how serious safety issues are. But also know that it could have happened even if you had been standing right there with him. If the grate was that hot there could have been burns even in seconds. I would be more angry with the doctor who seemed to just brush it off. Good luck! It will be a long road to recovery, but your son will be fine. Don't let this destroy your marriage.

WOW - the poor baby! I am so sorry he and you guys are going through this. Right now seeing your baby in so much pain is understandably overriding any ability to look at your husband or forgive or support your him. Just focus on getting your baby better and dealing with CPS, everything else including decisions about how you deal with your husband in this situation can wait a bit. In the meantime I would just tell your husband that you love him and do forgive him in your head, but your heart can't get on board right now. You also need to find a somewhat polite way to tell your husband that his need for forgiveness only 24 hours later is very selfish - he needs to be focused on baby and let you focus on baby versus pestering you.

Finally, I would place a call to the park service or city. I am never one to blame others, but to avoid this in the future they need to know having a metal grate where kids run barefoot is not smart. Maybe another injury can be prevented.

Please keep us posted and I will send prayers your way!!

Accidents happen. Even if your husband had been right there your son would have had injuries from that hot grate. Maybe not as severe but who knows. I can't begin to tell you how many times I've watched my children and grandchildren get hurt right in front of my eyes. As an adult you feel terrible for being 2 steps too far away or letting them go on something that stretched their abilities but honestly it's just accidents.

Hugs to your family and wishes for a speedy recovery for your son. You really do need to forgive your husband. He didn't set out to allow your son to be injured and holding this against him does nothing but build resentment. Maybe cps can have your hubby attend some parenting classes so he'll take things a little more seriously?

I am sooo crying right now. I'm so sorry so many kids on here have gone through this sort of thing.

I think you've gotten some good advice. What would I do? I'm a negative person and always seeing the bad so I would want to go where this happened and figure out what was going on for myself.

Were there any other people in the park? Where was hubby sitting? What was he doing? Was he on his phone while kiddo was playing just a "few feet away"?

There are many questions you have and his answers haven't comforted you. He may be totally different now and be the best babysitter in the world because he's seen what can happen when someone isn't paying the best attention.

Here's what I think. It's been in the 60's at night and in the 80's during the day? My kids go barefoot on stuff in those temps and don't get this sort of burns. Hubby needs to explain this. Why was the grate so hot? Same as others have wondered, what kids of park for kids would have a super heated grate where kids can walk on it accidentally and get burned like this. Is this a health hazard for other kids? Can you follow through and make them do something to protect other kids? I would see the place and follow through.

ATTENTION MOMS AND DADS>>>>>

Drug addicts go to parks during the nighttime hours to buy drugs, take them, get high, and then they walk off and leave their stuff laying there on the sand.

Then an animal comes along and plays with the razor and/or the cutting tools, or some other thing needed to do drugs. Matches, foil cups, and more are in the sand your kids want to dig in, walk barefoot in, run and jump in, and put their hands in. They want to play in the sand but it's entirely not safe.

Animals poop and pee and bleed in that sand that's on that hand that just wiped that mouth, took a bite of, rubbing on their clothes. So much to do with sand.

Going barefoot is bad at the park. It's just nasty and your child could be cutting their leg or foot off just by walking across the sand box once.

I think Mum4ever has the best and last word on this experience.

I'm so sorry for your family's pain. Please draw together, not apart.

I think you should support him. You are a family. Was he ignoring your son and doing something else or was he too far away to realize what could happen? It is always so much harder to watch our own children sick or in pain.

My nephew is 28 or maybe 29, cannot keep track. Anyway, when he was 3, his dad left a hotplate with pork chops on the counter. It still had oil in it. He pulled it down because he did not want to wait to eat. Je got burned on his chest. It could have been worse. My sister had to watch him get the skin removed over time and his screaming in pain. My nephew has a butterfly shaped scar on his chest.
My niece's daughter is 10. I think she was 5 or 6 when she pulled a pot of boiling water off the stove. Her mom was making ramen soup and had gone to the bathroom. She ended up with burns on her chest. My niece wrapped her up and took her to the fire dept a block away. She also had to have the skin scrubbed off. It is definitely a memory for them. But placing blame is not going to help. He does however need to realize that things cannot be brushed off. It is taken care of and goes away--it doesn't. I have that problem with my husband though we have luckily not had anything like this happen. He needs to agree that the kids need to be watched right in front of you or anything can happen. They are quick.