Parenting Issues with Husband.......Help, I'm at Wits End!

I'm glad you're home with the kids. You need to get family counselling with someone who can teach your husband some better ways. He is clearly angry with you. Couples counselling could be another way to go. Do what you can to continue to build your relationship with Emily. Even though she is being used by him to get at you, what you do for her and how you are there for her will pay off! His taking her to bed with him bothers me and is an area of serious risk, though I usually think it's great when families share a bed when all this isn't going on. I really feel you need to take a stand and make an appointment for you guys to see someone who can advocate for your daughter and speak plainly to your husband about his attitude and behavior. Please do not simply learn to live with this. I think your daughter will be damaged by all this and you need to do what's best for her ASAP. If your insurance convers mental health visits, use that. If not, go to your community mental health agency or family services agency where they have a sliding scale.

First thing I would suggest is counseling. He has to learn that even if he believes he is right do not let her know and do not belittle you in front of her. Also take a vaction leave him with the two kids for a few days believe me he will understand you when you return home.

I'm no psychologist but i sounds like he's got "mommy" issues and is defending the little boy he once was. I could not tolerate that personally. I do see myself cringe at things my husband says to the kids but they're no worse than what I say. I have daddy issues! There is no literature out there that supports arguing in front of kids about discipline, so you could start at the library and mark the pages of several books (websites, too) that stress how important it is to kids to have parents as a united front. If he's stubborn he may not react right away but may get the point on his own terms. As far as yourself, I'd be careful not to take his bait. Be calm and state to her your corrections and be a role model for positive discipline. Good luck!

I work with Starfish Family Services, we offer the Love & Logic classes FREE at least every month. Most of the classes are held at our main office in Inkster (not far from you at all) and include childcare!
Unfortunatley the latest session has already began, but if you'd like to message me I can help you find the next one that'll fit into your schedule or answer any questions...It really sounds like your family could benefit from the series, sounds like you have a pretty heavy burden!
Hope this helps :)

Hi A., I agree with Kristina G. If you leave on a short weekend away and leave him with both girls he will realize how hard it is to watch both at the same time. After you get home take a few minutes to talk to him about what he is doing to you, if you feel comfortable talking to him about it without it going into a screaming match. If you can't talk to him then seek counseling. And let all the grandparents and friends in on your getaway idea so that he is not shoving the kids on the parents. Have them say they are busy and he can't even come over for a visit. Because even a little visit will result in someone else watching the kids. Try your hardest to make sure that it will only be him and the kids. I am sure this will make him realize his errors.

I strongly urge you and your hubby to have a date night, just the two of you w/o your daughter. Discuss your concerns, and the importance of presenting a "united parenting front" when dealing with your girls.

The other suggestion I have is that both of you should sign up for a parenting class together. Check with your parks and recreation or community education departments. The "Love & Logic" series is a really good one. (If you can't find a class, check your local library for the series on tape.) When you take the class together, it will help you and your hubby be on the same page as far as disciplining, and handling different situations that arise with your kids. Good luck!