Not Sleeping at Night 1 1/2 Year Old...

I went through this with my now 18 month old... when he hit 16 months, he would still only fall asleep laying next to me or my husband. It would take forever! I would be so exhausted by the time he fell asleep I wanted to go to bed myself. I finally decided to modify the "cry it out" routine. I laid him down with some soft music playing and walked out of the room. I went in every 10 minutes and laid him back down. After the 4th time, if he was still crying, I would lay him on his stomache and rub his back until he crashed. This went on for about 4 days, with the time till he slept getting shorter each time. By day 5, he was out within 5 minutes. Now, I lay him down at the exact same time each night, and he doesn't even fuss, just falls right asleep! I was really hesitant to let him cry at night, mainly because I live in an apartment, but I talked to my neighbors first and told them just to knock on the door if it was getting to them! Good luck!

Consider her naps. When my oldest was about 20 months my second daughter was born. She missed a couple naps and when I realized that she went to bed so much earlier and easier, we started cutting back on naps. It was tough to get through the evenings sometimes, but well worth it. I have also learned that the earlier we eat dinner, the easier bed time is. When my friend told me they eat at 4:30, I thought she was crazy until I tried it! (and they seem to eat better too) Good luck!

I am new to this board, but have three children. As others have stated children thrive on routine, even if they fuss about bedtime. Remember that thrive does not mean always happy, but will grow and mature mentally and physically well. Your child needs her sleep and even alone time as much as together time with you so don't feel guilty about enforcing a routine.

After bath, teeth, story and/or song, I put the baby in the crib with music playing. Then leave the room. She will cry. Babies cry and it's OK. After 5 minutes go in and check on her. I like to give a hug and kiss and conforting words not picking up and then leave again. Wait 10 minutes and repeat. Then wait 15 minutes and repeat. I liked to at that point pick up the still crying child (if he is crying still) for just a second to reassure you are still there. Then repeat the above cycle.

I cried as much as the baby as I had to listen to the crying, but after a few days, each one of my kids started going down more and more easily. My daughter took 14.5 minutes and would then fall asleep and that went on for a few weeks. I even made my mother wait 15 minutes. She would be in run mode and was amazed that with 30 seconds to go she fell asleep.

All of my children are now well adjusted and do very well at night (except when sick). This helps them self-comfort and play alone. Remember that they need down time just like we do, even if they don't realize it. If you don't believe it just hang around kids that don't have a routine.

C.,

I just wanted to mention that you have to "put" your daughter to bed. She will not, repeat, not, go to bed when you tell her. Besides, she is way to young to go to bed by herself, without mommy tucking her in, singing a lullaby and a kiss good night.

I learned from my own mother's mistakes. She spent two hours every night for about 7 years telling me to go to bed. It never dawned on her that she would have to get up an put me to bed. She started telling me to go to bed at 8:00 and I would stay up until 10pm or 10:30pm when she went to bed. I spent my childhood sleep deprived because of this.

I decided that things would be different with my daughter, and I realized the solution is to put her to bed. We have our routine; pajamas, teeth, potty, then story and prayers, then I put her in her bed and sing her a lullaby and kiss her good night. She is almost 4 and 3/4 and she is a great sleeper! I figure I'll be putting her to bed until she is 8 or 10, but having a great sleeper is worth the tiny bit of time and effort. And I save myself the frustration of just telling her to got to bed for two hours.

Hope this helps.

The 3 B's always worked for me... Bath, Book(s), & Bedtime. They thrive in a routine :)

Hello C. my mother's group is having the sleep lady come in and speak to the group about sleeping solutions. Her book has helped me a lot. At this session she will have question and answer session that will be benefical to all parents trying to solve their sleeping problems. Check out her website at www.thesleeplady.com below is informaton about the event.
Laurel Moms Club & Mocha Moms of College Park
Present
Kim West, “The Sleep Lady”
Thursday, April 10, 2008 at 7:00 p.m.
Our Savior Lutheran Church
13611 Laurel Bowie Rd. (Rte 197)
Laurel, Maryland 20708

KIM WEST is a mother of two and a Licensed Certified Social Worker-Clinical (LCSW-C) who has been a practicing child and family social worker for more than thirteen years. Known as The Sleep Lady® by her clients, over the past ten years she has helped more than a thousand tired parents learn to listen to their intuition, recognize their child’s important cues and behaviors, and gently create changes that promote and preserve his or her healthy sleep habits.

West has appeared on the Dr. Phil, Today Show, NBC Nightly News, Good Morning America, TLC’s Bringing Home Baby and CNN, and has been written about in a number of publications including The Wall Street Journal, Associated Press, Child, Baby Talk, Parenting, The Baltimore Sun, USA Today and the Washington Post. West hosts the sleep section of The Newborn Channel, played in maternity wards in hospitals across the country.

ADVANCED REGISTRATION $10, $15 AT THE DOOR. SEATING IS LIMITED!
FOR INFO CALL : ###-###-####
Email: ____@____.com

My 15month old does the same exact thing. I can't get any work done while she's up and by the time we finish our evening routine, I'm wiped!

What I've done is established a morning routine. I get up BEFORE she gets up... about 1-2 hours (yes, sometimes at 4am). It's great because the house is quiet and I can work without distractions. I know not everyone is a morning person, but it's worth it once you get the hang of it.

~L.
www.accesspilates.com
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/businesssavvymoms/

Hi C.,

The first thing is to set up a routine for your baby where you get up from your studies and spend time with the baby to get her settled for the night.

The second thing I would suggest is to get a life coach to help you with your routine. You want the baby to attach and bond with you. To do that, you spend time doing the things together that will cause it.

All you time appears to be spent at school, working and studying. Since you are a single Mom, you need someone else to share your responsibilities. Child Development issues will show up later in the child's life. Get a coach to help you. Good luck. D.

i'm a sigle mom to who put myself thru college..first take a big breath and give y0urself a pat on thr back!!! You are doing A WONDERFUL JOB!!! with ur baby...I would suggest as some of the other mom's..that you create a outine that works for how you want to raise her. I would read her a book in my bed with her and nurse/give a bottle, untl she feel asleep. then I could move her to where she needs to be, however I mostly just let her sleep where she was..because that battle was over and the next(school stuf) would begin. eventually this consistent night routine began to go smoother and more quickly as her body and mind became aware that this was the bedtime process....consitency..major key factor..good luck with schoool..things will begin to fall in place.hugs to you !!!!!

If you can sneak away once she is asleep, I would just start and ealier routine of soothing her down and getting her to bed. Dinner, play, pajamas, bed.

I personally don't see a downside of soothing baby to sleep at 18 months. Of course, mine falls asleep pretty quickly.

My first suggestion would be to make her naptime a little earlier in the afternoon. Have a early dinner,if possible,becuause I realize your in school,then bathtime(that does help make them tired) then just be strict and let her know that it is night night time because Mommy has things to do.

Take the time and keep or start a routine w/her. Do you read to her at night? Being a mom is tough with all the demands you have and even worse when your a single mom and a student. She just wants you to reassure her that you are there with her. Be consistent and try reading before bed. Good habits now will help when she's older.

I applaud you for wanting to keep your daughter on a bedtime routine!! All I can tell you is what has worked best for my 2 girls (now 7 & 4). Start a new routine when you have time as your sweetie will fight you at first. The arguments/opposition from your child will be the hardest part. Stay strong! You are doing this for hers as well as your well being. Keep it simple. Bath. Pjs. Book. Bed. The bath will relax her from her day. Spend some extra time getting her pjs on- make her feel extra special by putting some of mommy's lotion on her or let her "borrow" something to sleep with that reminds her of you. Now is the time for trips to the potty, or last drinks. Make sure she knows this is last call till am. Snuggle with her in HER bed and read her 1 book/story/song. Tuck her in and walk away. This is where it gets tough. I shut my girls doors. At first they fought me and cried and carried on as they were not allowed out of their room. And I was camped out on the floor outside their door with a box of tissues as I was in tears, too! As long as you know she is not causing harm to herself or breaking any of your rules, do not go in her room!! Let her figure it out. After 10-15 mins, you can go back in, reassure her that you are there and will see her in the am. You may have to repeat this several times. She will go to sleep. After a few nights, she will know the routine, and you will have the evening to yourself!! My children are in bed by 7pm and asleep by 7:30. It is amazing what I get accomplished in the evening!!

I don't think there is a parent out there who doesn't have or hasn't had this problem. I love Supernanny's approach to bedtime. You need to have a consistent routine. Then when it's time for you to say goodnight you leave the room. She will get out and you say only this "Bedtime darling (or sweetie, whatever sweet word you want to use) and take her back to bed, then the next time she gets out of bed you say "bedtime" and take her back, when she gets out again, and however many times thereafter you say nothing and lead her back to bed. You may not get much time for your homework for the next few days depending on how fast she catches on but it will work...I have a very stubborn little girl and it worked! Good luck and hope this advice helps!

you can try the putting them in the crib and letting them cry and just going in every five minutes to rub their back and re asure them its ok - it takes a few days but they finally get it that mom is not gonna rescue me...its a hard one!! MOTRIN was the pain reliever I used when I knew they were having pain gave it nightly before bed a couple days, also just massaged their gums if they let me and ice cube in a washcloth with a hairband to secure it, wet it so it gets cold right away. Ritual is the key..new diaper,change into jammies,rock them, read a story or sing, then dim lights or just night light feed last bottle and into crib. do the same thing for few nights in the same order - good luck...

We have an 8 pm bedtime around here as well. The key we learned was to begin much earlier than 8. Dinner, bath, play time, then bedtime ritual. Brush teeth, couple of books starting by 7:15 with a little snuggle time. We bought that thing that lights stars on the ceiling and the baby einstein lullaby cd. She is very particular, but it seems to be the best approach for us. This leaves time for 2 "mommy I need a drink" or "mommy I'm scared, stay with me" outbursts. Then we go for the super nanny approach as well. There will be crying and fussing at first, but eventually a routine will begin and your daughter will realize thats it. We didn't begin firmly at that age and I wish we had. Cuddling and staying until she slept became the norm and it was hard to teach her to soothe herself. It shows in many other aspects of her life. Now we allow her to "read" she's 4 and can't really read but flips thru the books and will either fall to sleep or turn her light off most of the time. On occasion we turn it off for her. Some nights she still wakes crying, but over all this has worked for us.
Now my 18 month old self soothes. From very early on, she liked her alone time. We make bottle (now transition cup) put her in crib, turn on music and we are out! Rarely do we see her again until the morning!
Good luck!

My son is almost 2, and I do the same bedtime routine everynight, and it really works. At 6pm we eat dinner, then play till 7pm. At 7pm he takes a bath (I let him play in the bath even if he's not dirty b/c he loves baths so much). After he gets out of the bath, I lotion him and get his PJ's on, and give him his milk. He brushes teeth after milk. Then around 7:45pm I read to him till 8pm. Now, here's the key step for my son - I let him push play on the CD player, then I let him turn the light out, and decide which stuffed animal he wants to take to bed. Once I put him in his crib, we say a prayer (well, I do - he listens). Then I tuck him in and tell him it's time to go to sleep, that I love him, and will see him in the morning. Then I leave, and he falls alseep on his own. Now, it may take you a week to get your daughter in a routine. I started this routine from day 1 just b/c I saw my sister rock her girls to sleep and at age 8 her older daughter still has troubles falling asleep by herself, so I vowed not to make that mistake. Whatever routine you set in place, just make sure you stick to it. Once your daughter recognizes the routine, it will be easier for her to fall asleep on her own.

At 7pm you can have mommy & daughter time. This time is for her! You can read stories, play quietly, talk about her day, what she likes, etc. Then at 8pm tell her it's 8 o'clock and time for bed, kiss her good-night, say your prayers and turn on her night light. Before you walk out of the door, ask her which stuffed animal she wants as her "sleeping buddy" (it can be comforting for her when she feels alone). Remind her its mommy's time to study and tomorrow she can have mommy & daughter time again. This will take time, but all she wants is her mommy; so she can feel safe and fall sleep. But if you have that hour alone with her, she'll get that time she wants and hopefully fall asleep better. Hope this helps!