Bed Time for Infant

Updated on March 26, 2010
B.B. asks from Old Hickory, TN
10 answers

my daughter will not go to bed until 2 am each night. I've tried cutting down her naps, and evening letting her cry for up to 45 minuets - checking in to let her know she is not alone. I am at my wits end, any advice?
I have a bed side musical device (baby Einstein) and she id going on 11 months.

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C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

Are you saying she is not asleep before 2am? What time is her last nap? Where is she napping? When she falls asleep prior to 2am, that needs to be her bedtime, even if it's 10pm, 8 pm or 6pm. I recommend making sure she's still napping 1-2 (even 3) times per day.

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C.X.

answers from Dallas on

Sounds overtired to me too. Bedtime should be between 6-7ish. I'd read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. He goes over all kinds of info, like their internal sleep clock, sleep stages and recommended sleep times. It's very different from newborn to infant to toddler, etc. What I'd do is make sure she does not nap after 6pm. Slowly move bedtime back. Once you see progress, make sure she doesn't nap after 5pm and work her bedtime a little earlier still. Ideally what you want (or at least what I want at 11 mos) is something like 6:30 bedtime, 6:30am waketime. 9am nap and 1pm nap. The book is awesome and exactly what helped me when I was at my wits end with baby #1. Bedtime routines are great too and consistency. It's all covered in this book - the book actually covers sleep stages through 12 years.

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N.O.

answers from Phoenix on

Hello! I would have to know a little more about her schedule...what is her bedtime routine and what is her nap schedule during the day? Also, what are you doing with her up until 2:00 am (rocking her/playing with her/in your bed etc).

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N.J.

answers from Indianapolis on

Begin by making a bedtime routine for her. For my 9 month old, I feed him some baby cereal about 45 min before I want him in bed (which is 8:00 for us). Then, I take him up to get a new diaper on and some clean pj's. Then I nurse him until he is drowsy but still awake. Finally I read the same book to him and sing him a little song. This is just an example. But, I had trouble with my first and the best advise that I received was to set up a routine. That sends a message to baby that is time for bed.

If your daughter is 11 months old, I personally would let her cry it out.. This may sound harsh and it may be hard, but I promise you, after 2 nights, she'll be sleeping all night. I did the same thing with my first (getting him after 45 min of crying) and I think in hind sight, that made it worse because it made him think "if i just cry long enough, she'll come". Be strong, have her cry it out. You need your sleep to be a good mom, remember. I had to let my 9 month old begin crying it out recently because I found out I was pregnant and I needed a good night's rest. They are much happier during the day with all the sleep too. Good luck!

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A.M.

answers from Dallas on

i know this is hard.Make sure she takes a nap during the day and you have to start a bedtime routine. Feed her, let he food go down a little, pjs, read to her (in a quiet room with the door closed) and then nightime diaper and then in bed. It might help to run a musical device that doesnt have any action or words - just a plain melody. You may have to do the CIO method. Put her to sleep awake and then if she cries give her a little bit and go back in and pat her and say shhhh, but dont pick her up and dont make eye contact and dont speak. LEave the room. Give her a little time and if she keeps crying repeat - each time stretching out the time. It may take a few nights but she will get the hang of it. My daughter cried for about an hr when we did this - I went back in first at 5 mins. then 10 then 20 and started stretching it and she finally went to sleep. She woke up a few times during the night and I gave her 5 mins to see if she would stop crying and go back to sleep and if she didnt i went in to pat her and do the shhhh and repeated as many times as i needed to without picking her up or turning any lights on. She could be teething...have you tried a paci? Of course if she was sick I would not let her cry it out, but as long as she is well, then it wont hurt. Maybe she doesnt like the wet diaper? Maybe she is hungry and needs more food at dinner? hang in there - it will get better. What time are you putting her in the crib? My daughter goes in the crib at 6:30 and sleeps till 6:30. She takes one nap now (18 mos).

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

She sounds overtired. Over-tired babies/kids actually sleep worse, and wake more.
Is she teething or anything?
Is she feeding on demand? Before bed and naps as well?
How is her intake?

Do you have a routine pre-nap and pre-bed?
Sometimes if over-stimulated, babies also have a hard time sleeping.
Do you notice her sleepy/tired cues?
Pre-bed and pre-nap... are making things calm, quiet, dark.... allowing her to first wind-down... then segue into a nap and bedtime.

Really make a daily routine, always the same... pre-bed and pre-nap.
Where is she sleeping/napping? In a crib?

My son, up to 1 year old, was taking 3 naps.
From 2 years old he was taking 2 naps.
Now at 3 years old he is taking 1 nap.
This is everyday. I went by his cues. He does not fight it.
Bedtime, for both my kids, is 8:30 now.
When younger, bedtime was earlier.
Even with naps, my kids slept at night fine.

Something is tweaking your baby... is she perhaps hitting any milestones? Developmental changes? New motor skills? These things, also tweaks a baby's sleep.

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

Stick with it and she will learn what is expected. I started much younger with my boys on this, but this is what worked for us. I would put them to bed awake at the same time every night (for us it was 8pm). If they fussed I would set a timer for 5 minutes, and than go in and comfort without removing them from the bed. I would rub their back or Tummy and sing or talk softly until they had calmed down, and then I would leave again. If they started fussing I would set another 5 minutes on the timer and repeat. I started this at around 2 or 3 months and never had to go in more than once, and even once was very rare, but starting at 11 months if may take her longer to learn what is expected of her. It is our job as parents to train our children, and good sleep habits will be a gift as she gets older. My boys still go to bed at the same time each night, and are excellent sleepers.

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S.F.

answers from Madison on

Do you have a bedtime routine? Bath, bottle and something quiet like reading a story? If not you should have a consistent routine that you follow every night so she knows it is bedtime. When is she napping? When do you try for bedtime?

Sounds like she may be overtired now and fighting sleep. Not sure when her bedtime is, but try for something earlier (maybe around 7pm). Start a soothing routine and a set bedtime and give her time to adjust to it and things should get better for you.

Here is a schedule that we used:

In bed for the night around 6:30-7pm and slept for 11-12 hours. They had two daytime naps. Around 9am and around 1pm.

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N.D.

answers from Columbus on

I agree with Nicole. I would let her cry it out as well. Actually, our pediatrician recommended it. I had to do this with both of my kids and after the third night of them crying they were sleeping all night long. When my kids were that young, they were in bed by 8pm. The first night is always the hardest to let them cry, but it is so worth it. I would wait for the first 20 min and then go in and check on them, do not pick up or even touch. Repeat as needed. Once the child realizes that mommy isn't going to give in, they will fall asleep. It seriously only took three days for this to happen. Then baby is getting much needed rest and will be happy and most importantly so is mommy!!! Best of luck!!!

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