Nightmares - Rockford, IL

When I was a little girl I had horrible nightmares also...my mom found a correlation between watching the news, scary movies, pretty mich anything that had "bad stuff" in it. I had teenage sisters when I was young and I was catching bits a pieces from their "entertainment". She "unplugged" everything for a month...( my sisters still remember and tease me about it) and made the hoyse "g" rated. She would aksi tuck me in everynight and put "my invisible protective shield around me" where only good things can come through. I think the Doc told her that it was my over active imagination getting the best of me.....She also enrolled me in art classes...oil painting. I still paint when I'm not feeling so good about life...so I guess it stuck with me....AND I hate watching the news.

Good
luck -Suz

Our oldest used to have lots of nightmares (and night terros a few times--our little one has the terrors). We called them seeing pictures while she was sleeping. First off we told our daughter that her nightmares were just pictures, they were not real. That is was like a movie her brain makes up-- that sometimes our brain gets stuff all messed up at night as it is sorting through things and puts the pictures back in a goofy way. Also, we got a spray bottle with water added a touch of vanilla. We told our daughter that this special spray would keep away the pictures. Before bed we would go around her room and spray the "special spray" and say "pictures pictures stay away Mommy's got the stay away spray". It seemed to help. Since she was less anxious about falling asleep she was more relaxed and didn't get as many nightmares. We also found if she was over tired or a bit hungry that she had more. We tried to make sure she had yogurt for a nightime snack (the milk has some sleep inducing properties) and had a consistent bedtime. Good luck---it so stinks having your child so scared and sad.

Sarah brings up a very good point. People with strong visual imaginations are often plagued with nightmares. I was and my child has been off and on. I agree, I cannot watch things on tv or movies with violent images, (to this day) including some news shows; clearly little ones shouldn't be watching that anyway. One thing that worked for my son was to talk about what happens in the nightmare and then help him to create a scenario wherein he defeats the monster or changes the situation to a positive outcome. Doesn't have to be realistic, he would be a super hero or have a powerful magic wand or whatever. Also the terrors (which I he also had) are really brought on by stress in my experience. So again I would talk with her about her day or whatever and help her articulate the things she is going to. Really listen and help her express herself or act out stuff with her (her dolls, stuffed animals.) Just being able to process that may help relieve some of her stress, and knowing that you are there to help her through whatever it is.
You probably have a sensitive child. There is nothing wrong with that, but it comes with a unique set of challenges. It also comes with some unique gifts. Make sure she knows you love her just the way she is, which I'm sure you do.

try eliminating milk from her diet. When my dd was almost 4 she still hadn't slept through the night. I had read a study a few years earlier that said preschoolers with frequent night wakings (for nightmares, night terrors or just because) actually often had a hidden milk allergy. I took Tara off milk in desperation and within 6 nights she was sleeping solidly all night long. To make sure it wasn't a fluke, after 5 solid nights of sleep I spent the next day overloading her with milk products and she was up 6 times. Took away milk and she was fine again.

Now we know if she has a few nights of nightmares we need to cut back on milk again. Solves the problem every time.

N.

Dear C.,

I am sorry to hear your daughter is going through this. I have heard that nightmares at times are a sign of development. She might have rounded a new corner in her comprehension skills which may be producing more graphic dreams. You might give your daughter a water squirt/spray bottle to sleep with to squirt away anything scary. My daughter uses this and has found it comforting. Have you tried playing soft music?

Best of Luck
Kerstin

Get down and pray with her. My 6 year old Grandson had them also . So we got down by the bed and pray and told God all about and then he did't have them and bad as before.

I think Alice has some great ideas. I just wanted to tell you about myself. I never had terrors but I've always been a highly imaginative dreamer. Unfortunately a lot of the time they were nightmares and drove both my parents and myself crazy. I would wake up screaming all the time, wouldn't want to go back to sleep, etc. To this day I still dream like this. I have probably anywhere from 1 to 6 nightmares a week. In particular about the apocalypse, zombies, snakes and frogs (who knows why about the frogs). I've completely cut myself off of scary movies. I used to love them but after having my son, I just can't tolerate them the same and obviously I think they're good to avoid for my psyche. However, I'm also good at writing and am just an imaginative person overall. So don't necessarily think it's all bad because it's not. She just has a very active little mind. You have to keep her mind from focusing on things that may reflect negatively in her dreams (completely impossible to avoid it all together but just do your best). For instance, my mom stopped allowing me to watch Scooby Doo when I was a kid. Although all the monsters were fake, they were still monsters. So pay attention to those things. Like going back to what you said about her dreaming you gave her away. Maybe she watched something that got this into her head. Even if the overall message is positive about something, a harmless movie about adoption could plant the seed. Mix in a creative imagination and presto, she dreamed it happened to her.

And stress can bring on bad dreams. If she started pre-school that could be a possibility. And all of this could just be short lived anyway. Best wishes to you and your little girl. You may just have a very create child on your hands which is nothing but a great thing!

The night terrors will go away. Get rid of the dream catcher! My daughter had bad dreams every night, started saying there were people with her in her room and we had one of those (a gift). We threw it out, took her in the room with us, looked over the whole room together, we prayed with her and asked for sweet dreams and safety in her room. We did that a couple times ans the dreams stopped and so did the people. Don't know your faith, but my daughter trusted that Jesus was there, watching over her and nothing was too big for him. That was our experience.

Consistent bedtime routine, maybe/maybe not ...nightlight, not watching or hearing the news, checking her closet and under the bed. These are all good ideas. Praying at night for peaceful dreams - wonderful. Reassuring her that you are not going anywhere helps. My son was also was prone to having nightmares and talks in his sleep every now and then. He also has a great imagination. It's kind of funny - my son happens to have a dream catcher in his room - he hung it on his wall over his bed, about a year ago, after his grandma died. She lived with us and the whole scenario of her dying resulted in some bad dreams. One night I noticed the dream catcher and when the bedtime routine was almost complete, I looked at the dream catcher and told him "WOW....you have quite an imagination, this dream catcher is just about full - then I blew in it and waved it wildly as if to clean it out." He was amused by it so now I do it every now and them. From your e-mail, it occurred to me that he hasn't had a nightmare for a long time. It's probably a phase. Has anything changed in her life (i.e. started preschool, or her friends did? move, parental or family issues, job changes, traveling more - everyone getting along????) Hope they go away soon! Good luck.

Hi C.,
We used bedtime rituals of having a bath, bedtime story, and then simple backrub at bedtime. Massage therapist taught me that using lavendar (I got "wee rub" at Whole Foods as a cream on the skin that was okay for children) can be calming for children. One of my favorite books is still "good night moon".
It is important to acknowledge the emotions of being scared and let her know that you love her. We also did used transition objects (favorite stuffed animals and dolls were usually in the bed and went on trips with us) and a night light. On a really bad night, our kids knew that they could come in and sleep on a little mattress placed at the foot of our bed to be closer to Mom and Dad but not in our same bed.
We worked to eliminate caffeinated drinks and avoid anything simulating before bed time.
There are additional relaxing techniques available through "Yoga Kids" or family yoga classes that you may want to consider through your local park district or yoga studio. BTW www.universalspirityoga.com describes a large number of childrens' and family yoga classes.

C. L
mom of 3, yoga teacher

be extra careful about what she's seeing or overhearing on t.v. Sounds like the mom who got rid of her 4 year old and didn't report her missing for almost a month. Kids get these ideas from what they hear. It could be that she overheard a phone conversation discussing the tragedy.

when my kids were young my oldest had nightmares and would end up in our room every night because she was scared until we started praying with our kids before they went to sleep. Here's what we prayed ...
Dear heavenly Father, please send your angels to protect our little girls as they sleep help them to have only good dreams and help them to know you love them and we love them in Jesus name. and then to remind them if they woke up we had a picture of a gaurdian angel in clear view if they woke up in the night.