I'm writing on behalf of my sister, who lives in Alaska and is still on dial-up internet (no broadband access way out there) and asked me to post for her. She is having a terrible time with her daughter of 2.5 years. She has been waking up every night with terrible nightmares/terrors, that she just cannot seem to shake. Last night, for example, she awoke at 2 AM and did not get back down until 4:30 AM. She is awakened by terrible dreams, is talking and screaming in her sleep, she is unconsolable, and is extremely distraught and upset/crying/screaming due to the dreams. The entire next day, she continues to talk about the dream she had as if it were real and seems to be emotionally affected by it until she goes down for the next night of sleep. Have any of you mothers out there experienced anything like this/know of anyone who has experienced this? Do you have any advice or recommendations for her?
Thank you.
Hi Faye!
What seemed to work for my children (6, 4 & 1) Is reading the story..."Go away big green monster". I love the flannel board story because they can help participate in taking the monster away!
You can get a cute set at Glitterful Felt Stories
Here is the link:
http://www.glitterfulfeltstories.com/index.cfm/fa/items.m...
Night terrors are not the same as nightmares. With a night terror there is no recollection of what happened. It is a form of sleep walking. My daughter went through this when she was about 2 1/2 and it took her about 8 months to outgrow. The best way to handle (as advised by my daughters pediatrician) was to make sure she didn't hurt herself and not to wake her up. If I tried to touch her she would become very combative.
If she is just having nightmares, maybe try a night light. (Maybe she can even pick it out.) I would also suggest creating a calm, peaceful bedtime routine, maybe warm bath, no tv on for an hour or so before bed, just any way to create calm peaceful environment.
Wish your sister luck. It isn't easy to watch our child cry and scream in the middle of the night, no matter what the cause. Good luck!
Hi Faye, our son has had night terrors since he was about 1 1/2, he's now 3 1/2. The terrors are few and far between, maybe a handful a year, and less now. When they first started they would happen after a trip to Disneyland, which we go a lot, or a day with lots of excitement and little rest. It's so true that there's nothing you can do except let it take it's course and make sure they don't hurt themselves. The most recent terror he had was a couple of weeks ago while we were camping. In a tent no less! Most everyone else was in trailers and hopefully they didn't hear the screaming. Of course we tried to calm him, just because we were out in the open, and of course it made everything worse. It lasted about 15-20 minutes, but seemed over an hour. We thought the park rangers were going to come around. It was horrible.
Sounds like your niece is going through something different. Has there been changes in her life or maybe seen something traumatic? Your sister probably needs to contact the pediatrician if they continue. Hope she gets better and the dreams stop.
My daughter has had night terrors before...but, as I understand from our doctor and from reading about them, night terrors are something that a child doesn't remember. My daughter certainly did not remember them at all. She was asleep during the whole situation. My husband and I on the other hand remember everything and just were horrified having to deal with them.
Nightmares, on the other hand, a child will perhaps remember because they actually can wake from them, and could potentially tell you about them.
The only thing that can be done from what we've read and have been told is to work thru them. Assure the child that nothing can happen to them...that you're there to protect them. If they truly remember what scared them, work together on something that they can "defend" themselves with. I remember a friend of mine worked with her daughter on a "art project" which ended up being a shield to put above her door to ward off the boogie monster. And her daughter loved it. And then she was able to pick out a stuffed animal at the toy store that she slept with that would make sure she was safe. And it worked.
With my daughter, since she didn't remember anything of the events, we just had to hold her and console her thru the ordeal...it usually took her about 30 minutes to an hour to calm down and lay back down. She was out immediately after putting her head on the pillow. It was absolutely horrible. And I really hope she doesn't do that again any time in the near future, but there's really nothing that can be done expect to talk calmly and soothingly during the episode, hug them, turn on all the lights and carry them around if they are willing so they can "see" that everything is fine, and continue to try and calm and talk with her. Assure her that you're there to protect her and that nothing can harm her. My daughter hasn't had an episode since earlier this year.
Sorry there isn't anything else I can offer. A feel for your sister! It's terrible and heart-wrenching. But they will get thru this with lots of encouragement and creativity. Ask her if she wants to sleep with the lights on too...my daughter liked that.
Best of luck to your sister!
Cheers, C.
Hi
I feel awful for your little niece....
My daughter has had plenty of night terrors but not that bad. She will wake up crying and shaking and it looks like she is seeing something but not realizing I am there (trying to hold her and calm her down). after 5 minutes or so she falls asleep again and she never remembers these terrors.....
I have noticed that she usually gets these when she is over-tired. But the ones that your niece is having sounds terrible and I think I would consult a doctor and research about this. It sounds really scary....
I hope it gets better.
Good luck to your sister
If she is having night terrors I dont think she'd remember the dream the next day. My daughter had very bad night terrors and I could not get her to settle down. She would seem like she would see right through me. Her eyes were open but it was as if she couldn't really see what was going on in the room. She would scream for me when I was holding her saying mommy has you, Im right here. She would get real stiff like throwing a huge temper tantrum but seemed terrified. :( I hope it is not night terrors because I dont think theer is really a way to stop them. You kinda just have to wait it out till they eventually wake up or go back to sleep. In the morning though she would never remember and it lasted till she was 6. Then stopped. One thing I can tell you is it always happened when she was exahsted. Like a birthday party, holiday or she missed her nap. etc. Matter of fact the very last one she had was on New Years Eve 2000 when we let her stay up late to celebrate. Sorry I cant be more help. I know how difficult it is to not be able to help ur baby when they seem so scared. Good luck.
Both of my daughters have night terrors. They are not nightmares, but something altogether different. During a night terror, it's as if the child is possessed, cannot be woken up, and if you touch the child or try to comfort her, the terror will last FOR HOURS. Nothing wakes them. Holding, shaking, water in the face, NOTHING. They usually happen about an hour after going to sleep, and they don't remember it in the morning. Nothing can be done about night terrors, no drugs or therapy or whatever, they just have to outgrow them. Our pediatrician told us to a) not touch them during a night terror, b) make sure they can't hurt themselves, and c) sit nearby to make sure they don't hurt themselves. Following this advice, the night terrors only last about 10 minutes. My girls each developed night terrors around 18 months of age, have them sporadically (two nights in a row, then nothing for six months, then one, then nothing for 3 weeks, etc), and my oldest seems to have outgrown them (fingers crossed). Nightmares happen deep in the night, they can be awakened, and they can talk about what is happening/happened. They remember the dream. It sounds like your niece has nightmares. Your sister may want to try visualization with her daughter, where she pictures what kinds of good dreams she is going to have. During a nightmare, your sister could sit next to her daughter's bed and gently talk to her about opening a door in the dream and walking through. She doesn't have to stay in the dream. Learning to be aware of dreaming and of your own control within the dream is difficult, but it's been practiced for thousands of years by monks and lay people. Good luck to your sister!
lack of sleep always brought on night terrors for my kids. Missing a nap, or an extremely busy day. Is your niece still taking naps? Does she take some quiet time during the day? Try keeping her sheduled as best as possible. If she is not awake during these terrors tell your sister to let her be. Most kids don't remember night terrors when they awaken.
If she is having nightMARES (bad dreams) she will awaken by herself. These can be brought on by stress, tv, converstation, anything. Again, make sure she's getting enough sleep/down time during the day. She could be getting her two year molars which would cause a lighter sleep (more dreaming). You sister could try some motrin or tylenol to help her settle down before bed.
Hi Faye,
My daughters both had night terrors, which typically occur after they've been asleep for 2-3 hours. They are usually not awake when they are having them, but they may mumble, talk, cry, scream and toss about. Also, they do not recall having them the next day. This is a common sleep issue among 2-4 year olds. Many websites are available that can give further descriptions and offer advice.
It may not be night terrors for your niece if she is cognitive about the event and can even recall the dream that scared her so badly. The poor thing may just be having plain old nightmares.
I might suggest to your sister that they start a more soothing bedtime routine, if she doesn't already. She may even want to help her daughter come up with a list of favorite things she did that day. This is always a great way to bring the day to a close in a positive way. We do this a lot in our house. Also, another favorite night-time routine in our house is to sing Twinkle,Twinkle with the lights out while holding a glow in the dark star. Then after the song, we make wishes: "Starlight, starbright, the first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish, I have tonight. I wish for..."
I hope some of these ideas are helpful to your sister and niece. It's never easy to see a child suffer, especially when it's something so scary for them.
My son also had night terrors at about that same age. The doctor told me that they are most often caused by lack of sleep. I had to make sure he was getting a good nap or at least rest during the day and went to bed early. My son's terrors only lasted about a week and he has never had them again(he is now 11). My doctor also told me that during his terrors to leave him alone but to watch him to make sure he didn't injure himself. I am suprised that your daughter is talking about the next day, I thought that the terrors were not something she should have any recollection of. I would advise you to make sure she is getting enough sleep and to not try to wake her during the terror. Hopefully they will go away soon and you can all sleep again. I hope this helps. Good Luck!
A Little About Me: SAHM of 11 yr old boy, 4 yr old boy and 2 yr old girl. Bachelors in Child Development and Master Teacher Certificate in Child Development.
Wow, that's rough. My son had those same types of problems for years and they slowly went away (he's almost 13), although he still has some, and also sleepwalks sometimes among other things. He also has Aspergers/ADHD. I would try some Hylands Insomnia tablets (place one under the tongue) to make her sleep more soundly (they really help my boys, and are pretty safe to take), or some Rescue Sleep oral spray - by Bach Flower Essences, also a natural remedy, that calms the mind and thoughts and promotes sound sleep without side affects. Hylands Calms Forte may also be an option. Maybe some warm milk at bedtime, also, as calcium is important for relaxation and proper cognitive function. It's really hard at that age for her to differentiate from reality versus dream memories, it just doesn't make a lot of sense to her. My little sister had a dream when she was that age that I was attacking her and strangling her (pretty horrible) and the next day she was so hurt and afraid of me (I was in my 20's), it was pretty upsetting for us both because she didn't understand that I'd done nothing in reality.
It sounds more like nightmares then night terrors. Both of my children experienced night terrors for a period of time. The big difference between night terrors and nightmares are the stage of sleep they occur in. Nightmares occur during REM sleep and you can arouse the sleeper (or they themselves are aroused and fearful). Nightmares are usually vivid in the minds of those who have them and they can recall the details. Night terrors, on the other hand, happen during the deepest stage of sleep and you usually cannot awaken the person while they are going through it. I would talk to my kids and try to wake them up, and they would look right through me (it was pretty frightening). Then, they would not recall having the night terror the next morning--this is also a classic symptom of night terrors.
Nightmares are commonly triggered by or correlated to fearfulness or traumas in a person's waking life, but sometimes can have no apparent cause. It is always a possibility that your sister's child may be experiencing something frightening or traumatic (or experienced something frightening or traumatic) in someone else's care, while playing with another child, when watching TV or a movie, in her family life, etc. This is always something to consider because her mom may not be aware that something is happening (or happened) to her. I remember my daughter, at the age of 2, having nightmares over a period of about 2 weeks about a lion eating her after she saw "Lion King" at her grandmother's house (much to my dismay). Otherwise, it could be a phase that may just pass with time, but it is recommended to seek medical help for longterm recurrent nightmares, especially when they interfere greatly with sleep. Hope this helps! Good luck to your sister and niece.
Hi Faye,
Our daughter has had night terrors on and off since we adopted her from China at the agge of 1. This is typical of internationally adopted children. One of my best friends from high school and college also has night terrors. The thing our ped. told us and my frind has told us is that the one having the night terror does not remember it. OUr daughter (also 2.5) never does nor does she know when she is having them as she is still in a sleeping state. The last time she had one she got so upset during it that she threw up and this is what brought her out of the night terror. But as soon as she was out of it she was totally wondering what was going on and not upset any longer, just dazed at why she had thrown up. My friend says the same thing that she has no idea she is doing it at the time and her parents (or friends sleeping over) had to tell her that she had had one the night before.
Neither our ped. or my friend could give us the "WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN" answer. We guess our daughter has them due to unprocessed issues with her life back in China or her adoption but at 2.5 years old she can't verbalize that. And my friend has no clue as to why she has them.
Your poor sister, and niece! My son has had night terrors from about the age of 2. 1st let me say that his never have upset him quite as much as you describe your niece's upsetting her. But, I saw a specialist because I was so concerned for him...as your sister says...unconsollable, cannot stop screaming/crying/distraught. The best (and so far-the only helpful) advice I received was to not disturb him during the night terror. Our natural instinct as a parent is to take care of our child, to console them, to hold them and tell them shhh, it's ok. But I stopped doing that-I, of course, go to him when he has one now, but I don't talk to him, I don't touch him, I just sit there to make sure he doesn't wake up and then really need me-til it's over. It is hard to do-just watch them. Sometimes I might just touch his head gently without speaking, and it seems to calm him. Hope it helps.
My son had the same thing from the time he was 1 till about 3 months ago (he'll be 3 years old next month). It was so distressing for me and his dad. I would try and hold him and comfort him, but he would push me away. I found that picking him up and moving him to another room helped to wake him up and get him out of the environment where his dream originated. Ultimately, we just had to let him cry it out and wake up on his own. It seemed that if I tried to wake him up it made it worse. Another thing I've tried is giving my son tylenol before he went to sleep. It seemed to relax him and help him sleep better. Obviously doing this every night would not be a good thing, but if you know that your neice is extra tired (something I found to cause my sons night terrors) or she's sleeping in a new place, then maybe a small dose of tylenol before bed would help. Lately, my son has not been having these night terrors which is great. I wish you all the best of luck and remember, this too shall pass. Hang in there. I hope it gets better.
"Night Terrors" are developmental based. "Night Mares" are different. It occurs at certain ages. It's normal at these periods... and are often a "phase."
Perhaps, research it online, print out the information you find, then mail it to her. That way she can see it for herself and refer to it & read it, and since her internet is still dial-up.
Meanwhile, call her and let her know what you learn about it.
It's normal... kids go through this. But, perhaps your neice is having "night mares"... because she remembers it and it scares her. Also at this age, it's common... and at this age they also develop "fears" of night-time, sacred of the dark, the "boogy man" etc. This too is normal...
They need comfort and talking too... letting them express themselves and understanding from Parent. Which your sister is doing....
Yes, it's un-nerving for the child and Parent. Perhaps explain it to the child in an age-appropriate way, too. Also, I used to use a fragrant room-spray...and I"d spray it in my daughter's room before bed and "explain" that this will make things all peaceful for her... also explaining to my girl that (if you are so inclined) that "Grandpa is in heaven watching over you....even if you have a night-mare, he is with you... and Mommy and Daddy are here for you too... just call us, or you can sleep with us..."
If nothing else traumatic or stressful has happened to her recently, or a change in her life... then perhaps it is just Night-terrors or night-mares.
Here are some links:
http://parentcenter.babycenter.com/0_night-terrors-why-th...
http://www.toddlerstoday.com/articles/development/putting...
http://www.drspock.com/faq/0,1511,1001,00.html
http://smartmomma.com/Toddler/nightmares_night_terrors.htm
http://www.netdoctor.co.uk/ate/mentalhealth/204750.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Night_terror
http://health.kaboose.com/kids-health/night-terrors-2.html
All the best,
Susan
I experienced these as a child and it is true, they are so real and so emotional. It would take days for me to stop thinking about my night terrors. For me it was like an ordinary dream turned into a nightmare. None of it made any sense. I would wake up crying uncontrollably, rocking myself back and forth on the ground and not aware of where I was. Once I even ran down the hallway into the sliding glass door. It was bad and I still remember those dreams very clearly.
For me I believe they were triggered by stress. I read later in life of a study that said you should wake your child before the night terror begins. Start keeping track of bed times and times when the night terror attacks. When you find the time that usually triggers the terror then wake up your child before it can happen. I have never tried that myself because when the stress went away so did my night terrors.
I feel for your niece and her mother. I suggest talking to the pediatrician about it. Hope all works out.
Hi Faye,
I don't know if I am repeating anything from any of the other responses because I have not read they all. My niece and nephew both have night terrors. If this child is truly having a night terror and not just a bad dream, they should not remember the night terror the next day (so the pediatrician said). My niece and nephew's pediatrician said that when they are having night terrors to try not to wake them as it can make it worse. You are supposed to keep the the lights very dim and and voices low. Speak very softly and tell the child that everything will be alright and that you are there and love them and that they are safe. Rubbing the back or arm would be fine as long as it is soft as to try not to wake the child. I guess just ride out the night terror while reassuring the child that you are there and that they are safe. I would talk to the child's pediatrician to see if they have any more advice also.
Our babies had them, usually when they had missed their naps and were overtired. My reccomendation: adhere to a very regular schedule - lots of exercise, fresh air, wholesome food, regular naps. Redecorate the bedroom so nothing scary can hide in the corners, simplify their lives, and make sure only super positive,loving folk come into contact with them. Be a STRONG mother with decisions and behavior - our babies need the reassurance that their parents are in charge and they are being taken care of. Declutter their lives - no underlying tension, fighting, nothing inappropriate sneaking into their sub-conscience. Spend lots of time cuddeling, reading, playing, loving. Hopefully, some of these things will help . . .
Good luck!
hi Faye sorry, my attempt to answer took off. It sounds like she is having nightmares, not night terrors, with night terrors, they usually wake up rested and don't remember the terrors, that's my experience anyway, how ever a nigtmare can feel so real that it makes a child scared to fall back to sleep. I would tell your sister, to make sure she isn't watching any thing that would be scarry to her, keep a night light on in her room, and maybe sit with her until she falls asleep, I would also talk to her ped, and see what they say. If it last's she should get her checked out, other than that just to love up on her be patient with her and try and see her through this. I pray all turns out well. J.
My husband had night terrors as a child and still to this day sits up in bed and yells at someone or something and then goes back to sleep, unlike me who's awake for an hour recovering. My husband has traced it to his body temps. When he gets really hot at night, it tends to happen. It's the same with our 2.5 year old, so I try to keep his room cool when he sleeps and it seems to help.
Good luck,
M.
Been there and done that with my second son. It was absolutely AWFUL!!! Went on for years, but not every night. I wracked my brain trying to find reasons and solutions. No luck. What worked best for us was (a) to have him sleep with us, because when sleeping with us they rarely happened, and (b) when they did happen, I just sat with him and read some happy, favorite books - you know, picture books with maybe 32 pages. Usually he would snap out of it by the end of the first or second book, then I'd read them over when I knew he was "there". After that, he had no trouble going back to sleep.
With my son, it started after we moved into a new house when he was 18 months old. Lasted until he was ... hmmmm... I don't really remember. Between 5 and 7 maybe? He is 23 now so it was a while ago. Your sister's situation is much worst and cannot go on. Honestly, it doesn't sound like night terrors to me because kids don't remember a "dream" with night terrors - they don't remember anything - and they happen about two hours after bedtime. It sounds as if your niece is having terrible nightmares. Your sister needs to find out why. Something must have happened to frighten or traumatize her.
My daughter went through 6 weeks of night terrors when she was about 20 months. It was frustrating and very scary at first. The best explanation that we could come up with from talking to poeple and our pediatrician was that it was part of her imagination. Now she is nine and she has always had the most robust imagination. As far as what we did for her . . . you cannot really hold and console them, because the child is really asleep. We had to make sure she was safe and would not get hurt. I used lavendar oil in her room, as it is supposed to be calming, soft music when she was falling asleep. We also took her to our pastor for prayer. His son had gone through this same thing. The good news, since there is no quick fix, is that it does end.
My daughter was plagued by nightmares and night terrors. Children remember nightmares but generally do not remember night terrors so it sounds like these are severe nightmares. My pediatrician recommended waking my daughter 30 minutes to an hour before after she fell asleep at night to try and break the cycle. This might help your sister. I really feel for her as it is terribly distressing to watch your child so upset. I also took my daughter into a brght room and out in the cold night air to really try and bring her around. I hope this helps.
C. :-)
Hi faye, I found this website a while ago and was talking to my brother about it cause my nephew was having night terrors. This is a really good website. http://kidshealth.org/parent/medical/sleep/terrors.html and here is a website on nightmares http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/thought/nightmares.html
you can also get more info if you google it and put in night terrors. I hope this helps. God Bless you !
Maybe this will be too 'psychological' of an answer, but it is the way I think I would handle it. I have a little background in child development and play therapy. Dreams are viewed, usually, as trying to work something out that we are experiencing. 2.5 yo is an age where we are theoretically working on seeing ourselves as independent people, separate from our parents - it is supposed to be very overwhelming for children, some more than others. So, I would probably try to play with my child (dolls, puppets, stuffed animals, whatever) and see what themes came out in the play and try to finish the themes (or storylines) in a way that felt safe for the child, so they could see, through play, that they are safe/secure. If your sister can follow your child's play, the child should lead the way through it. Anyway, best wishes, even if it doesn't fix the night terrors, maybe it can provide some interesting insights. Good luck!
I had the same experience with my son at the same age after I had placed him in child care. As soon as I removed him from that enviroment the night mares stopped. Small children dont naturally have nightmares unless they have been exposed to events or enviroments that does not make them feel safe. Perhaps she needs to take a closer look at what the child is being exposed to.
She's not getting enough rest/naptime/downtime during the day. She must be overstimulated...that was the only time any of my kids had night terrors. get a nap into her routine. they should grow out of naps by 3.5 to 4 yrs...they'll be up the rest of their lives...let her nap.
My parents have talked about be having them when I was little. They took me to the doctor and had to have special tests done. They also had to keep a diary of my diet, sleeping habits, and what I would do during the night when I would wake up.
