Night Terrors of the Twos

I did a trick with my daughters when they had nightmares that worked really well. I would go into their room and talk to them for a little while. I would have them tell me about their dream and then we would change it a little bit to make it funny. If they were being chased by a bear or monster we would try to think of a very silly reason why the bear would be running that didn't involve chasing the child at all. They key was to get the child to laugh about the dream and remove all fear from the dream. Keeping them up for a few minutes would distance them from the fear and the funny story would make them chuckle when they thought about their dream instead of getting scared again.

Also, my daughter would get nightmares when she had a bladder infection. She is a deep sleeper and it seemed like her body was trying to scare her awake to go to the bathroom.

My son went through the same thing. It's a horrible time but it passes before you know it. We tried everything from offering him things he would normally want (chocolate milk or a movie) to getting mad and threatening to put him to bed in the dark. Nothing worked. I feel that he wasn't really "awake" and could not CHOOSE to stop "freaking out". It was more annoying than anything. Just wait. It will be okay.

My oldest girl has always slept so long and deep, that it was quite a shock for us when our next youngest, a boy, started waking up at night and coming into our bedroom. It was probably when he was about 2. He cried and cried, and with each episode fought our attempts to comfort him initially, but then calmed down quickly. Occassionally he talked in his sleep, and that's when we discovered what his night terrors were about. He cried out,"No! don't take my crayon away!" Or, "Annabelle, stop it!"

We found out night terrors don't have to be about scary monsters or terrible things. They can be about reliving stressful events of the day, and some of the simplest things can be stressful to little toddlers.

You've done your part by praying and talking about fears and giving her security obejcts. But my recommendation is to just accept that your little one has a tendency to have vivid dreams that wake her up. I don't think you can do anything to stop them. Just comfort your little one with love when she does come in at night (whether you send her back to bed after comforting her is your choice - we usually did).

My boy who had night terrors is now 4. He doesn't come in crying anymore with a scary dream, but he still wakes up 1-3 times a night and comes quietly in our bedroom and joins us in bed for an hour or so, then goes back to his own bed.

I have heard that waking up at night in the middle of a dream might be cause by the urge to pee. Also something to look into.

Hope this helps! Good luck with your kids!

Maybe you could call it 'sweet dreams spray'?

Also, night terrors are very real and more common than you think. Talk to the doc about a sleep study.

Hi! We deal with that with our youngest (4 1/2) just a little. I am also not sure 100% what to do, but I think what matters MOST is to keep reassuring them that God is with them...always- even when it doesn't feel like it! Teach them to pray to God if they wake up scared, and you can of course do it with them to get them into the habit of it. Because God wants them to know and remember He's there! Share with your kids little times that you have felt God with you to help them feel the reality. I NEVER did the 'monster spray/etc. because I agree with you- it lets them still think monsters are real!! Why would we want to do that to our kids? There are definitely ways to (patiently) move past monster thoughts and scary dreams while still teaching our kids what's real and what's not.
(Maybe you have an old stuffed animal that was yours when you were little that you could let her sleep with to 'help with the dreams?')
Try to stay patient and loving, and stick to the truth...this too shall pass :- )

My son is currently going through this. He just turned two this week and it started about a month ago. Sometimes it is a night terror, it has all the classic symptoms according to the Dr. (we NEVER experienced this with out daughter who is now 4) Other times we think he is having just regualar nightmares. Either way I go to his room and sit with him. If he knows I am their and is fully awake he will let me pick him up and hold him till he calms down. After which I put him to bed and continue sitting in his room till he falls asleep. If he has the glazed over blank stare look I will either sit next to his bed and talk softly to him and pray for him or get him out, if he will let me and we sit on the floor together (watching to make sure that he doesn't fling himself onto the wood floor, because he does that during these) and I will again talk softly to him and pray for him. During these sessions he has hit and kicked me, pushed me away and screamed terribly. It is scary, but I just pray...this seems to be the only thing that brings an end to it and allows him to sleep peacefully for the rest of the night. I don't know what your religious back ground is, but if you want to talk about the prayer aspect and the issue with monsters, I'd be open to talk with you about it. Just send me a personal msg.
M.

When I first heard what I'm about to say, I thought it sounded a bit nuts, but then we saw an exact connection with my 2 year old. When he eats something with artificial vanilla, he has horrible dreams and is inconsolable. Cries and cries until he's ready to settle. He won't tell me what's wrong or look at me or anything. I just hold him and rock him until he's done. This would happen a couple of times a night. Then someone told us about a study concerning vanillin and it's effects on the brain and then we noticed..... if he's had certain cookies or the little icecream cones the other kids get during summertime here, it was only these nights he was having these horrible times. I banned anything with vanillin in it and they went. Pappa slipped up once without either of us knowing he'd done it. That night was awful, We thought we must have been wrong about the connection, and then I saw the packet of cookies and asked DH, 'Ummm... how many of THESE did you give him today. Turned out he started eating them at breakfast and didn't stop. DH confessed to giving him about a dozen. I could have packed a bag.......He's vowed to be more careful and I've talked to my DS (he's three now) about vanillin and to always ask the grownup before taking food. He accepts this as a reason to not have that same icecream or cookies. I think he sees the connection and hates the terrors so much himself, he gladly accepts this reasoning. I'm happy that he loves fruit and isn't that picky of an eater.

Good luck with the little one. Perhaps try a food diary and see if it's connected to that.

(I'm married to my high school sweetheart too!! Isn't it GREAT!!! Life is nothing but a rollercoaster, all we can do is hang on and enjoy the thrills and get braver.)

Our daughter (now 6) has been having night terrors off and on since she was 2! Our doctors told us there wasn't much we could do but keep her safe and comfortable during this process. We have lined her been with all her favorite stuffed animals, give her soft music to try to sooth her, put a night light in her, and we use bad dream spray (instead of moster spray) and we say while spraying "Dreams, Dreams, go away we dont want you here anyway. Hey sometimes it works! :) Try tomake sure she is getting enough sleep, sometimes when Jen is overtired they are worse! Also, try to limit her stress level before bed!!
When she does have a terror I just go in an rub her back ( sometime if I take her potty she will come out of it) I also sing or talk to her in a soft voice and she USUAL will come out of it. GOOD LUCK TAM

My son had night terrors as well. I think it's scarier for the parents then it is for the children as they seem to be in a far off place. My pediatrician said to just make sure he was in a safe environment & he'd out grow them. He did.

I am a bit confused. Is she really having night terrors or is she just waking up afraid of something. There is such a thing as a night terror but you would now if that was happening. Blood curdling screams with eyes open. Not calming when you come into the room. They don't even really notice who you are. It is said the kids feel as though something is crawling on them or trying to get them. They usually try to get away from you. It ends as soon as it starts but usually lasts about 20 minutes.

That being said, if it is just a nightmare I would suggest the following. If she thinks there are monsters tell her you will protect her and think of some creative way to get ride of them. To a child all of the bumps in then night are real to them so you can't as parents go around telling them things are not real. I remember when my son was small he was afraid of our six panel door so I bought some fabric and covered the door for awhile. I have also heard the alot of light in a room can disturb their sleep cycle. Maybe the "2 two very very bright nightlights" are adding to the problem. Good Luck.

My daughter is going thru some of the same things - the night screams - she will come into our room etc. We have been trying very hard to make sure every time she comes in we return her to her room. She usually doesn't have difficulty going back to sleep. She will grow out of it, I have four girls and she is the second one to do this...so it must be a "2" year old thing...hang in there.

Is she just having a bad dream??? I would be empathetic with her - ask her if something scared her.... Then give her power to control the situation. Maybe she wants to sleep with a flashlight for a while. Maybe she would like to pick out a new night light or a glow in the dark cross to keep her safe. Continue to enforce that her room is safe and it's her room to enjoy. When my son did it he never really "woke up". I would soothe him, tuck him in and put his music back on and he would fall back asleep.

You know my 4 year old was going through the same thing and I thought the "monster spray" was a great idea, but I didn't want to tell my son that there was such a thing as monsters. And of course we would pray every night and have God's angels watch over him and keep him safe, etc. Nothing I seemed to do worked. So I tried something similiar to the monster spray, but I labeled it "No More Scare Spray!" I introduced it to him as a special formula that Mama and God made together to spray in his room everynight so that absolutely nothing could possibly scare him anymore. And the first night we tried that he slept in his bed all night and hasn't gotten out of bed since!!!! MIRACLE!! He was getting up EVERY night to go sleep on the couch by our room. You can use an idea like that and make it your own, all kids are different and different things are going to comfort them. My son wanted to make sure that the special formula "burns" the scary stuff that comes around, so I said that it did and he was very happy about that. Just go with the flow. Good luck!

I remember very well how scared I would get at night when I was little. I would wake up from a bad dream & be afraid to go back to sleep for fear it would return. Also, I was quite old (old enough to know better) before I finally stopped being SURE that a bad presence was watching me at night. He could even see through my blankets, & to get to my parents room I would have to go past him! When I would go to my parents, they would just tell me not to worry & to go back to bed. I was left feeling insecure & still scared! Sometimes I would sneak under their bed & sleep there, just so I wouldn't have to brave going back to my own.
So, with my own children when this has occurred: if they are screaming from their beds we go in to them & comfort them until they fall back to sleep. If they come to our room, they either get in bed with us (when they are younger), or sleep with a blanket & pillow next to our bed. Sometimes after a good hug & kiss they are ready to go back to their own bed (their choice). When they are old enough to understand we talk to them about how dreams aren't real, it's just our brain making up stories, & if they have trouble going back to sleep they can turn on the light & look at a favorite book for awhile, until they feel calm enough to go back to sleep.

Hi, I'm not a specialist. But I believe the terrors are an insecurity issue. If she ends up in your bed. This makes her feel secure. Why not start there. Let her sleep with you for awhile. I know it interferes with other things. But she will get over it. Also, keep her close to you as often as possible. Its a separation time for her and she needs it to last a little longer. Fear of being alone is a very frightening thing. Assure her you will always be there for her and tell her each time you have to go somewhere that you will be back.

Hope this helps. Love conquers all things

Hi T.,
Yikes, it sounds like your hands are full over there and you've tried lots of great things. I don't have tons of experience with kids, but I've had to read a ton of sleep books to help out our little boy - younger but did have a similar problem. My favorite book I read was Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Wiesbluth - a leading sleep expert in the nation.
Anyways, his suggestion is: earlier bed time will reduce and actually get rid of night time wakings. My question is: what time is bedtime around your home? He suggests being asleep some time between 6 and 8, and the earlier side is better 6:30 or 7.
It seems early and it was hard for us, but it WORKED and it was amazing. This was the only thing that helped us and maybe it could help you. We had to put our son to bed at 6:30 at the beginning to get rid of his night screaming terrors. It was so worth it though. If it doesn't work after a little while of trying, you could try borrowing the book from the library, it has tons and tons of ideas for helping babies/toddlers, and older kids sleep better and longer.
I really hope it helps or someone else will have a better idea if it doesn't work for you.
Good luck,
A.

When my daughter and son were 2 they also started with nightmares. This is a natural happening. Your child is starting to be aware of all that is around. When it's dark it's scary. I found that cuddling in their bed until they fall back asleep worked with my daughter. My son was different. I ended up getting a Dream Catcher. You can get a kit and make one from any craft store. The history behind the Dream Catcher is to only let the good dreams and thoughts through. I did not tell my son this, I only hung it on the head of his bed by the pillow. The bad dreams seemed to calm down. I'm not sure if it is from the cuddling in their bed for security or the dream catcher but this time eventually calmed down all together. When they both got a bit older and realized that Mom or Dad was in bed with them and they wanted it all the time, I would tell them in the morning that they kicked me out of the bed and told me to go back to my own bed. This gave them the feeling of being safe and it was their idea for me to return to my room and their room was now OK.

I think the first thing is to determine if this is a nightmare, or a night terror. As posted previously, night terrors are not the same as a nightmare.