New Mom with Postpartum Stress Looking for Friendship & Support

Updated on April 01, 2009
G.C. asks from McKinney, TX
6 answers

This may sound like a strange request. I'm looking for a mom who has a new baby (newborn to 6 months or so) who is having a difficult time and needs someone to share her feelings with, vent to, and get support from. Let me explain why: I'm in this situation myself. I have a 3-year-old who I absolutely ADORE, and a 4-month-old who I'm growing more and more attached to each day. My problem is that I am having trouble adjusting to having two kids, and I'm finding small details of my life are causing me much greater stress than they should.

Even though I have a number of friends with whom I'm close, I have been feeling isolated from them since having my second child. I am not very good at asking people I know for help, as I'm usually the one who offers it instead of seeking it. Well, now I'm asking for help, but not from my friends... I just want to meet someone who is in a similar situation (feeling lonely, isolated, overwhelmed), and see if we can offer one another support, friendship, and maybe a few tips on how to cope and get past this difficult time.

I've found that sometimes just knowing that someone else is experiencing the same thing makes it bearable, and sometimes the best people for support are not friends or family, but strangers in the same boat. Strangers who can become friends, and perhaps our kids can be playmates as well! :-)

I have no idea how this request will be interpreted; I may not get any responses at all. Or I may get replies from people who have "been there" but aren't there right now... But if any of this request strikes a chord with you and you'd like to talk more, please reply (you can reply privately). Together, we can do something about it - we don't have to keep feeling this way!

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

More Answers


answers from Dallas on

I went through the same thing when I had my second almost a year ago. None of my friends even have children so I didn't have anyone to turn to but my mother. While she has been great it just isn't the same as someone your own age. I have two boys who are going to celebrate their 1st and 4th birthdays this month. I know you wanted someone who has a baby closer in age to yours I still love to talk sometime. It is still a journey everyday and you're right we don't have to feel this way! PM me if you want to talk sometime.


answers from Dallas on

I strongly suggest you fight the fear of revealing yourself to your friends. You are depriving yourself by not being honest with them. Their support may surprise you in a good way.



answers from Dallas on

I would suggest a mom's group or Child's Day Out program where you will most definitely meet women in your same situation.



answers from Dallas on

I don't have two children, but I've felt lotsa stress since the birth of my first child. I could describe myself in the exact same way--feeling overwhelmed and isolated--seems like I have too much to do and too little time to do it in! My friends are far away and my husband is wonderful but doesn't seem to "get" why I'm always so stressed. I know I haven't experienced adjusting to a second child, but I would love to have more support, too. Feel free to send me a PM! Hang in there--you're definately not alone!!



answers from Dallas on

I have a 3 year old and a 13 month old, so it isn't quite the same but similar. I have been struggling with the exact same thing since my daughter was born. I find it interesting that you said, "I have a 3-year-old who I absolutely ADORE, and a 4-month-old who I'm growing more and more attached to each day." That was my main problem. I was and am so attached to my 3 year old son that I often feel incredibly guilty that I don't feel the exact same attachment to my daughter. I love her dearly, but it is totally different. I think this is normal, but a hard thing to get used to. Then I get to feeling guilty that I don't get my son out to do more now that we have the baby to take care of. I guess I am not helping much, but as you said sometimes it helps just to know others feel the same way. I got to the point of feeling so stressed out that I went to the doctor and was diagnosed with post-natal depression. I am not saying you need that kind of help, but it is something to consider. I can honestly say it is still hard, but I have felt MUCH better since I got some help. Depression isn't just crying... it is all those things you mentioned - feeling lonely, isolated, overwhelmed. If you want to message me further, feel free. I don't live close to you, but would be happy to email or talk. Good luck, and God Bless.



answers from Dallas on

I've heard that the initial adjustment from one to two children is the hardest of all the transitions. It will get better and hopefully you can find someone for support. I only have one but my life took a complete turn around after he was born. What helped me was joining my local MOMS Club. I found other moms in the same situation. Plus, I learned that playgroups were not so much for the baby (he was only about 6 months when I joined), but for the moms. You might check them out.

Good luck to you!! You are not alone and you're doing the right thing by trying to reach out.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches