New Baby...When Will Normal Schedule Start?

I would say not until they started sleeping longer at night and naps. It helped a lot because I didn't feel like they could wake any moment and I wanted free time.

If you only knew how common this is.I had the same problem...with both my kids it took me months to get on a schedule to be able to clean..and im a cleaning freak! And it stresses me out if my house isnt clean.Just go with the flow right now and do the simple things and take it one day at a time...it will pass.

Hey A., congrats on the baby boy first of all. As far as the 'normal schedule', there is no such thing when it comes to a baby! There will eventually come a routine though but you are just now at the point where the baby and you are developing a routine. When you get comfortable to the routine you have, then everything will change. The important thing is to stay flexible. Sleep when he is sleeping and don't worry about the house or anything like that. It will all get taken care of when it gets taken care of. You are doing great new mommy!

after 12 months the fog starts to clear
after 18 months you start to feel really human again

what i've read says that you should really really nurture yourself during these first 3 months of the baby's life - like after having surgery. don't feel like you need to be doing everything. you are taking care of two people already every day all day. that is a lot. so give yourself a pat on the back and cuddle up with that baby - he won't be this small even tomorrow.

what helped me the most around the house and in my head was flylady - google it
set the timer for 15 minutes & get started doing little bitty steps.
you'll be amazed how much you do get done.

the baby will get into a schedule and once you're used to it the schedule will change - that's how it's been for us for over 2 years now. you just find a new way to order life around the new version of the family.

Congrats on the bundle of joy! I have twin boys that are almost two, so like you a schedule was important. Really I would advise you to kind of make a list of the weekly things you need to get done ie laundry, dusting, clean bathroom, vacuum etc. Then split this list over the course of a week and it would equate to having to do 1 thing a day. You don't have to make your house spotless just use this schedule to keep the household running. Then you will have a since of accomplishment. Next, my babies really didnt fall into a schedule, so I just decided for myself (using their needs/wants to guide me) what would happen when. They'd wake up at lets say 6am, I'd feed them, then bathe them, then do tummy time. Then at 9am, I'd feed them again, tummy time (do a chore), then feed again at 12pm, 3,6,9 & change into sleep clothes and put them in the bed. Now this schedule really didn't start until at 8 weeks if not 12. Up until then i was in survival mode and i did survive & my house is clean and I still have my sanity-so take a breath and know that your baby will grow up fast, and your house will always need tending to-so enjoy him.
One of the greatest things that i did that helped me survive was i always laid them down while they were awake. And now at 22 mos old, all i have to do is put them in their cribs & they grab their blankies & I walk out. They sleep & put their selves to sleep like this since they started sleeping through the night @ 4 months. The point is to put them down for sleep while they are awake so they learn to put themselves to sleep. I did miss not rocking them, but made up for it when they were awake.

Best of luck, V.

Well congrads on the new baby. Next - Do things ever get back to normal? No they don't but they do evenutally get easier. It is different for every mom. You being a first time mom might be a little later but then maybe not. I have a 8 yr old, a 3 yr old and now 5 month old and I still haven't gotten any groove back, lol. The trick to servivng it is trying to start with little things on a schedule. Such as try sitting him up for 5 to 10 minutes after eating and then laying him down for a nap in his crib - even if he just screams and crys and doesn't take the nap the important thing is that you make it a habit. Next try a certain time every night that you will give him a bath and then feed him be fore or after it (which ever is up to you), It work best for my little oe to take her bath at 6 to 6:30 and then eat and try to keep her awake until at least 7 then lay her down and doing that is what got her to sleep thru the night. DON'T try to plan out your whole day at first pick little things that you can control and do it at a certtain time then maybe the rest will fall into place (at least thats what we hope for). I was amazed on how many moms have everyday planned so pefectly, but then that works for some but not everyone. When he wakes up and you change him then lay on the bed or on a blanket on the floor and play with him and just play for 10 to 20 minutes. As far as the housework goes - don't over do it. I know you want your house clean because it just feels better when it is and because of company coming over and such but just take it day by day pick 1 or 2 days a week you will do nothing but laundry and then 1 day you will totally clean your kitchen and bathrooms. Most importantly (it will sound crazy) pick anywhere from 1 to 3 nights a week that you and your husband/boyfriend just sit together and talk or cuddle (or whatever else you wanna do) (wink wink) so that you can remain having the strong bond you have and also it still makes it feel better that when things do start to become easier and such you don't feel like its been forever since yall have had a chance to talk or touch. Just remember to take your BC cause if you think its rough now wait and be pregnant and trying to deal with an infant. I have a friend that did and she said it was so rough that she doesn't know how she survived, lol. Another little piece of info that might work but it takes will power is when you lay him down and he starts to cry don't rush an pick him up because then he gets the message if I cry I get picked up. Try consoling him with a rattle or rasberrys on the tummy or even a song to get him to calm down first then pick him up. If you need to lay him down while running around then talk really loud so he can hear you or sings songs and such so he knows you are close by and he wasn't just left. My neighbors (who are mostly military men in the apartment complex I live in) can recite almost all of the nursery ryhmes and know the words to songs like you are my sushine and itsy bitsy spider and lets not forget mary had a little lamb, lol. I hope this helps. Keep your head up and take it one day at a time. Your a good mommie and if you need proof just look at the little man who loves you with unconditional love. Good luck!

First off.. congrats to you!! I have a six year old boy and a five month old baby girl. The past two months I've really gotten into a groove with her. I can pretty much predict when she'll nap. She's been sleeping through the night since 3 1/2 months, which has been nice. She's a cat napper, so during the day she's up most of the time. So I get things done when I can, and if I can't well I've just learned that they will be there tomorrow.
Don't feel lazy, take this time to recoupe and rest. The one thing I didn't do with both my babies was sleep when they did. I always felt like that was my time to get things done, but boy at the end of the day I was tired and when it came to feedings at night they were hard without that nap durning the day. So I would say rest, you'll be able to get more done as he gets older. Good luck to you and enjoy him, they grow fast.

Personally it took me 7 months... not to scare you. I nursed my sons and they eat all the time. So it seemed like it took forever with my first- probally because I didn't want to mess anything up. With my second son things fell into place within a couple of weeks. I guess it just depends on how you are if you like a schedule or like me just let things work themselves out. This is the best time! you are able to look at him and just enjoy because in a few months... off he will go!
And on the being tired it will get better... your body is still healing and trying to catch up! Have fun. and hope this helped some.
S.

I have a 3 year old and 8 month old - both sons!

I am sure others might disagree, but once kids enter the picture, life is never the same while you are caring for them. I just look at my house and realize someday there won't be toys everywhere, but I have tried my best to remember to cherish the special moments because once they are gone, you don't get them back. I know what it is like. Don't be too h*** o* yourself. Get rest when you can and when you do have an energy burst do as much as you can. That is how I deal with it. Anyway, I hope that helps.

I preach 6 months. If you can make it to 6 months, things improve greatly. It is amazing that I lived thru that time. January in Michigan! No sleep. Too tired to go bundle him up to meet new Mom friends. My sister made me go to MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers), it was the best thing I ever did. Infact I just joined a MOPS group in SC (meets at River Bluff Baptist church) I really like the laid back atmosphere and the women are awesome. I felt welcome the first day. I can tell already that they take care of each other. Back to the topic. My first child did not sleep for 1 year, second child slept perfect. Definitly at least 6 months. You will start getting a schedule. Then the food and nap schedule changes! My son is four and I feel much more organized, but your life is officially changed forever. You are a MOM. The best gift the Lord can give you. Congratulations! Welcome to the secret club that no one tells you how much your "in for"...hehehe. (____@____.com)

Go easy on yourself...looking back I realize this was the hardest time. I was trying so hard for some semblance of "normal" and all bets are off! Your hormones are wacky and any sleep you are getting is only leading to balance you out. It is so easy to get angry at yourself now since you know that gorgeous baby is not to blame for anything yet! Once he will give you at least 5 straight hours of sleep at night the "order" begins to return on a whole new level. Take it one day at a time and know that by 12 weeks, this will all be a distant memory! Best of luck.

KL

First of all CONGRATS!!! on a beautiful baby boy!! Enjoy every moment! If you have any question don't hesitate to ask!

I have a 4 month old baby boy and I don't think we have ever gotten back in order! LOL! You might even say that one of my biggest lessons through all of this is learning to let go of my control and just go with the flow! (I know this isn't helping... I really do! It is frustrating to say the least!!) I guess what I am trying to say is hang in there and take one day at a time! Things will smooth out, and a schedule will start to set itself. Then you can begin to figure out the rest!

I remember feeling exactly the same way! When our first son was that new if he was sleeping we were racing to the bed to see who could fall asleep first. I really missed that we would stay up together talking, watching TV, or doing whatever.....But it only took about 3 months for us and things started to get back to normal. But don't feel guilty about not getting alot done around your house. Right now you need to be sleeping when he's sleeping. There will be plenty of time for you to get stuff done. Just hang in there for a couple more weeks and I promise things should start to get back to normal...well it will be a new normal, because once you have a baby nothing is like it used to be. We just had our second baby, he's almost 11 weeks now and I'm wondering the same thing again! LOL It never ends!

Good Luck, M.

your baby is 6 weeks, get over yourself...what that means is...don't try to do it all...I'm a control/neat freak who learned the hard way. It may be a long time before you start feeling like yourself again. With my first child I went back to work when she was 4mths old (she was exclusively breast fed and until 7mths I was still getting up thru the night. When she turned 10 months I started feeling like myself again and I didn't realized it, but up until that time I had been operating at about 60%. (WHEN SHE TURNED 2 1/2 SHE STARTED GETTING UP 2-3 TIMES A NIGHT AND SHE DID THAT EVERY NIGHT FOR 7 MONTHS - IT WAS THE WORST, NOT TO MENTION BY THEN I WAS NURSING BABY #2, I GOT NO SLEEP) Your baby is young...use this time to focus on him, don't get caught up in the other stuff. Make sure you eat and keep yourself together so that you can try to stay calm and available for him. When you put your baby down, for nap, sleep, make sure you do whatever is important first, like eat, make a phone call, throw clothes in the washer, but keep it short- train yourself to make it only a 10 minute errand, because the time gets away from you and before you know it, he's up and you haven't done anything and God forbid if you didn't get around to eating. And every now and then you will just have to use that hour to do NOTHING...I know you will feel guilty, but taking care of a little one can be so much more work than you ever thought - conserve your energy for the important stuff...hope this helps. - TIP: when my daughter was that young I would put her down and then set the microwave timer for 15minutes and when that time was up my business (housework, whatever) had to be taken care of and the rest of the time was mine. You have to make every minute count after you have kids.

Congrats on the your little one. My daughter is almost 3 months old so I know exactly where you are coming from. The turning point for us was between week 6 and 8. Suddenly our schedule made more sense, she was far more alert and responsive (which was a huge encouragement to my sleep deprived brain) and my body started to feel more normal. I know it's different for everyone so don't push yourself. There are still days that make no sense schedule wise and I know things like shots and going to Grammy's house throw everything off..but each day is better. Hang in there and enjoy every min!

oh my...well i have a 19 month old and a 7 month old and i still don't have my life back. although, i realize it will never be the same again. eventually you fall into a sort of rhythem as far as getting things done. for me it happens when they start sleeping through the night. that's when you finally start getting enough rest yourself. so the sooner you get them on a good bed-time schedual the sooner you will start to feel like the woman you were before. good luck.

Three months is the magical number. Just relax and enjoy this time. I passes very quickly and you'll wish you'd celebrated every moment instead of wishing it would hurry up.

Hugs

I felt a little back to normal around 3 months, and by 6 months, I felt totally myself again :) I don't think my house was totally organized or I had meals on the table every night until around 6 months.
Just know you are not alone :) Babies sleep on their own schedule for a while, and it is a hard adjustment becoming a mother. But it gets better!

I have 3 children it was about 3-4 months after birth that I felt like myself and each child would sleep longer in the night. Yes I cheated while breast feeding as advised by a women Doctor and mother herself I put just a teaspoon of rice cereal in the bottle at night..all of my children a fine and none of them are over weight. It got me sleep I still got up and gave a bottle at 2 or 3 am every night but it got me more sleep. I used a nipple that was the Y cut. The more sleep I was able to get the more energy I was able to have and able to think more clearly. My house got more order as time has passed except once they're here it seems like things always need picked up and clothes always need washed. Sadly our society doesn't support new mothers like in other countries, if anyone offers to help with anything take them up on it even months after the baby has been here. My best wishes to you...

Hi, A.! I am a SAHM of 3 1/2 year old and 22 month old girls and I can tell you honestly, it'll be probably 8-12 weeks before you really feel like you're comfortable with what I call "the new normal"! I know it seems like a long time, but it goes SO fast and before you know it, they're 3 1/2 and 22 months old.. ;-) I hope it helps to know that there is an end and it is near. You will get things done again and you will feel motivated again. It's a tough transition and it definitely takes some time to get adjusted. I'd be curious to know what other moms say, but for me, with both girls it was about the 12 week mark. Best of luck and get your rest!

Hi A.,
Congrats on the new baby boy! Boys are so much fun! I too am a SAHM. I have two beautiful boys ages 3 and 1. I also struggled to get my boys on a schedule, especially the first one. It will happen and in the meantime, don't feel lazy. It's perfectly normal to get wrapped up in caring for your baby, especially for the first three months or so. A friend of mine recommended a book which pulled me out of my "world of baby" and really helped save my sanity. I struggled for the first two and a half months to get my first son on a schedule. I read "On Becoming Baby Wise" and had him on a flexible schedule within just three days. I was breastfeeding and made the mistake of letting my son set the schedule. He was a snacker and a napper so he would eat for five minutes, sleep for thirty minutes and then wake up screaming and hungry. This was my life for nearly three months. After he was on a schedule, EVERYONE in the house was so much happier. He would take in a full feeding, he took fewer and longer naps and began sleeping at least six hours at night. I'm not saying that the Baby Wise method works for every mom or every baby, I'm just saying that I'm a sane functioning person today because of it.

I hope this helps. Just keep repeating to yourself, "It's going to get better. It's going to get better." The days may go by slowly, but the years fly. Take this time to enjoy your baby and all the wonderful baby things he does. Babies are temporary, laundry goes on forever.

hang in there~ 3 months is a magical time when you begin to come out of survival mode
sleep now as much as you can--erase the word lazy from your vocabulary----you just had a baby!!! :)

A. -- I can SO sympathize with your message! My son is 10 months now, and I remember feeling the way you describe. For us, his schedule started to sort itself out around 12 weeks.

If I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't be in such a hurry to get back to being "productive." I didn't rest nearly enough when he was a newborn, and I'm paying for it now in fatigue. I wish I had enjoyed the opportunity for naps, and that I had simply put my work (at home, but still...) and my social calendar on hold for a longer time.

So...please DON'T kick yourself for just wanting to catch a nap, or for feeling "unmotivated and [too] tired to do anything." In fact, please find the book "What Mothers Do Especially When It Looks Like Nothing," by Naomi Stadlen (it's on Amazon). If I had read this book 10 months ago, I'd have saved myself those 10 months of heartache (even in the midst of being delighted with my son).

I hope that helps! Bottom line, you're not lazy, you're growing a little human! Rest and relax when you can!

Cheers, and congratulations. :-)

First let me start by congradulating you. I am a mother of three and I have been in your shoes. It is important that you do take the time when he is resting ,to rest yourself. It will get better.

With my first child I was lucky to stay home with her for most of her first year. I didn't have her on a schedule or a routine for myself. It was pretty bad. With my second child I was working in a daycare and really saw first hand how important schedules are. I started doing things at home the way we had to in the day care. Having your baby on a feeding schedule can be the biggest help. That alone lets you know you have x amount of time to get something done. Try writing down on a post-it what time you feed him, change him, and how long he naps, I know you probly think you don't have time, trust me. After a week you should notice a pattern. We had to do this in the daycare and it was a huge help.

All you have to do is jump in where you are. www.FlyLady.net is a wonderful website that can help you set up daily and weekly routines. Her advice is free and she has tons of helpful info.

Being tired was my biggest complaint. With three kids under 4, I was tired all the time. FlyLady tells you to work on tasks for 15 mins. at a time. Take babysteps. There is even a section on her website for new moms.

Good luck. Remember, no one is perfect!

Congratulations! I can remember those exact feelings and trust me it will all work itself out. My daughter was about 3 months before i could really say we had a schedule. And I think my son was 8 months.(way to long-haha). Accept help from friends and family who offer to help with the house work and enjoy your baby. It's true what people say-that this time is going to fly by so enjoy the special moments.
Don't sweat the small stuff-and nap when your baby naps.
Hope that helps. Best of luck.

It never gets back to normal. I have a 20 month old daughter and it is still hectic. Although I have learned a few tricks to get things back in some kind of an order.

1. Prepare as much as possible the night before. It is wonderful if your hubby can help. I went back to work when Madi was 12 weeks old. I breast fed her until she was 10 months old while going to school full time working towards my doctorate degree. So, trust me it can be done. She is wonderful but being prepared helps.

2. Take this time to cool out and relax. Enjoy the downtime and your new baby.

3. Plan plan plan and then plan some more. Moms have to be great organizers.

Hang in there!! I know that this time seems like forever but, it has only been 6 weeks.

Rest, take vitamins, see your doctor for fatique.Eat well and take time for yourself.
Are you able to walk around the neighborhood when hubby comes home, or when a relative/friend can come to watcht the baby?

When my oldest (now nearly 7years) was a baby my hubby would come home and take over for a little bit while I caught my breath and walked around the neighborhood for 30 minutes or so.

Do you have friends, church, playgroup that you could meet up with? Having someone to meet and chat with is a great pick-me up

I remember it took me about 2 months to get into a routine with both of my girls. So the light is just around the corner.

Take care

Congrats on your new baby. I felt the exact same way as you. A friend recommended www.momsoncall.com and a nurse came to my house for a consult. 3 nights later my 6 week old son was sleeping through the night. She showed me how to put my baby on a schedule. My baby is now 8 months old and is still on a schedule, I know exactly when he should be eating and napping/ sleeping. I plan my day around his schedule - it makes for a happy baby and mom!! Good Luck!!

Congrats on the baby. Yes it gets better. Read Baby Wise. Get the baby scheduled and eating well. He will start sleeping through the night and you can stop the zommbie feeling. Also, the reason why people are on maternity leave for 6 weeks is that is takes a while to get your groove back. A new mom has to figure out everything. How many things to pack in a diaper bag to run to the store, go shopping at a mall or go to dinner and such. If you have any friends that have already gone through the first baby thing you might want to look at them. I know that with my first (which was a great baby that slept through the night at three weeks and ate great,etc.) I still felt like it was six months before I was wearing makeup and such to go out.

The normal schedule you seek can begin within just a few days . . . I highly recommend a book called "On Becoming Baby Wise" by Gary Ezzo and Robert Buckman. This book will put you in control of baby's schedule, and the best part is that baby will be just as happy as you because of the eat/play/sleep cycle taught by this book. A friend gave me this book when my second son was born and it saved me--and made him a happier baby because he was on a schedule. The book is available thru Amazon.com or you can probably get a copy at Borders Bookstore. The best 12 bucks you'll spend as a new mom! Here's the thing: you'll read some advice in this book that you just can't take, but if you adapt their ideas to what works for you, you will be just as successful. That's what I did. My mom fought me on the scheduling because I'd feed him before he began to cry with hunger and I'd lay him down for a nap before he was overtired, then the kicker--I'd wake him up from his naps after a certain amount of time, as directed in the book, so we'd stay on schedule! It didn't take long on the schedule until my 8 week old was sleeping a straight 5-6 hours at night, and the night sleep time lengthened as time passed. Even my mom came around to our schedule! It was great! We were all happy!

I would say around 12 weeks was when I had a definite schedule again. Of course, that's also when I went back to work so I kind of had to get it in gear more:) But really, by that point he was sleeping and eating on a schedule and I was ready to start putting make-up on again and getting out of the house. In the meantime--enjoy your cocoon. You both have to do lots of stuff soon enough. For now, be lazy and just love your baby up while you can.