Need Help Reducing Biting and Hitting with 20 Month Old Twins

Although I am not a mom yet (4 more weeks) I got some advice with this. It was at one of my showers and the mom's wrote down their best advice. One of my mom's friends had 2 biters and she use to put a little vinegar on a cotton ball and dab it on the biter's tongue and say no biting. She said it worked!

I also like the other response from the Super Nanny book...I haven't read it, but I LOVE the super nanny's tactics!!!

Good luck!

K.- This is something we used to do at a daycare I worked at, and it worked! We had a little biter, and saying no just seemed to encourage it. We decided to hang a teething ring around her neck, and when she went in to bite another child, we would say no, then put the teething ring in her mouth. She loved that she had something to bite, and started to go to the teething ring instead of the other kids. Of course, she would still bite every once in awhile, but it went down a lot. Just a suggestion of what we did, Good luck!

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P.S. Good luck with the biting thing, I have a 3 year old and an 18 month, the 18 month is starting to show signs, I have been able to keep it from a habit, however I will be watching the responses to this one so that I will know well in advance.

Hope to talk to you soon.

this sounds horrible, i know but this worked for me when i bit. my mom tried everything, biting me back and saying "dont bite see it hurts" take a small very small amount of jalapeno juice and put it on your finger, hand, whatever and let them bite you... have a sippy cup of water on hand... they wont bite any more! promise

i washed my daughters mouth out with soap... it was very effective

When I taught pre-school we had the same problem with our 18 month olds and our director made us take a class on Sign language (simple signs) Kids are just learning about feelings they are also learning to talk and express their feeling and they end up getting frusterated. I noticed over time it worked. I decided when I had my kids I would teach them sign early. I have with both and neither one of them bite. My daughter did a month ago (she is 4.5) she knew better that was her first time. She got in trouble and understood but than again she is 4:) I used love and logic and Loved it. Maybe I should go back to it with my 2 year old.

I have a friend who has dealt with biting, and she puts a tad bit of baking soda on their tongues when they bite. It is hard to reason with kids that age, so maybe something pretty serious like that would help them to remember. I have not tried it myself, but it worker for her she said. Good luck!! I am sure this is a tough time. ~A.~

It is more than likely a communication/frustration issue. Look at "Happiest Toddler on the Block" and "Love and Logic" for guidance. These two strategists have great, nurturing, yet appropriate discipline techniques. We use a combination of the two for our girls. I DO not advocate biting them back. They apparently know how it feels since they do it to each other. "Happiest Toddler.." has a DVD if you can find it..."Love and Logic" has lots of resources online and hold classes in the area. I have a list of all instructors in TX if you are interested...email me and I will email the file to you.

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K.

Hi K., I feel your pain! I have 23 month old twin boys who are in regular boxing matches with each other. They haven't done any biting so I can't really offer any advice there but for the hitting, mine go to time out (and thankfully so far stay put when there) and then the offender has to hug his brother and "tell him he's sorry" (neither can really verbalize that yet but they know the hug means I'm sorry). I wish I had some magical solution to this twin aggression problem we're both in but so far this is my only thing I know to do. Can you imagine when they're twelve and much stronger???? I'm sure that'll make these days we're in seem like a day at the park - LOL. Hang in there!

My twin girls are now 14 months old and play great together other than the biting, which like you said are leaving bruising and nasty marks...I tried everything you have...when I seperate them and put the "naughty" one in time out I dont take her out of the room, it's worth a try...I feel so bad for them that they are causing eachother such pain :( they are really leaving bruises!!! Don't take this wrong but seeing someone else go through this made feel a little better. I am going try the "super nanny" suggestions. I wish I had time to watch that show, I keep hearing about it.
Good luck!!!

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I've heard of a couple ways to deal with this.
I read about a 3-step method in a book by the Super Nanny (Supernanny: How to get the best from your children) that was effective with my kids.
First off, the book was a fun read and I stumbled on it at my local library (my toddler was randomly pulling books off the shelf and bringing them to me, and this happened to be one!). You should pick it up if you can!
Anyway, the example she used was with hitting, but the first response is you look the child in the eye and say firmly, "No hitting." Then let them go back to their playing. The next time you say "If you hit, you will go to time out (or the naughty step, or the playpen)" Then the third time (because there will be a third time...) you don't say a word, you just follow through with whatever action you said would happen.

I honestly didn't think this would work, but I did it just to see. I followed the steps the first time, then the next time there was an "incident" I simply said "No hitting" and the behavior stopped. I didn't have to go any further.

Another idea would be to combine your words with actions the first time. (This sounds like what you're doing, only you didn't say what your time-out is). I would use their crib or a playpen, and be sure they are separated from you and from each other in a different room. I would say "no biting" and swoop up the offending party and take him/her to a crib or playpen in another room for 2 minutes. With the supernanny "method" she says to use the firm "no-nonsense" voice (without sounding angry). With this way, you might even say it in a sing-song voice in the "love & logic" style like "Uh oh! No biting please. Looks like a little room time." The idea is that "uh oh!" means swift, immediate action and removal from the environment. Also, the idea of staying calm and NOT sounding angry is important. At least with my daughter, the minute I have a hint of anger in my voice, it's like she gears up for battle and thinks "Ok mom, let's get ready to rumble." If I'm not bothered (or at least I don't SOUND bothered) she's got nothing to counter with.

With all the swooping up and taking toddlers to their crib/playpen, just be sure you lift with your knees and not hurt your back! You'll do it a hundred times over a few days, but it should sink in soon :-)