Need Help Getting My 1 Year Old to Sleep Through the Night.

K.-
I already wrote a private message to you and hope my advice is helpful... but I wanted to comment on some of the other advice you were given here.

One mom said that nursing babies don't sleep through the night-- I'd like to modify that!!! I think it's co-sleeping babies that have a hard time sleeping through the night-- it has nothing to do with whether or not you breastfeed!! I nursed all 3 babies and once I figured out a good sleep habit/routine, they all became good sleepers.

Also, I have to speak up and disagree with all of these moms who keep telling you to give a sippy cup with water. Your daughter has a "habit" of waking to nurse, so I don't recommend breaking one habit by starting a new one. That's like telling a child to stop sucking his thumb by picking a different finger to suck on! What if she DOES like the sippy of water?? She may continue to wake during the night to have a sip of water!! And then you'll have formed a habit that will also be hard to break-- and you don't want her needlessly drinking water during the night out of habit when eventually you'll want her potty trained through the night.

Just my 2 cents.

Since you have started with the child centered approach you might have the best luck modifying it just a little instead of a drastic shift which at 1 can be very emotional. No approach is the wrong approach...some kids just need a little more/less in some areas.

first of all i agree with the below posts to try and identify if its hunger first. trying to drop one feeding at a time with either water in a sippy cup (this pissed my daughter off for about 4 days and she stopped) or having Daddy go in instead might help break the cycle if its not hunger.

many things such as a cold coming on to development milestone can increase night awakenings... my daughter went through a development spurt at about 12 months and would wake up and talk,talk,talk for 30 mins until she fell over asleep. The best thing you can is to re-enforce her skills in putting themselves back to sleep. there are several great books out there (healthy sleep habits happy child worked for us) that give you good tips with out resorting to any drastic measures. check in in with her and console her (hand her her favorite stuffy, rub her back, show her to turn on her music soother, etc). there is a big differece from rewarding (picking up and nursing) and consoling. Night awakings will no doubt occur along the way and if you take the time to help her now - it will pay off for years to come. Sorry there is no quick fix but hopefully this shoudl only take a few days. good luck!

I don't think you are too late at all! I feel that best approach at this point is to let her cry it out. You cannot cave after 45 minutes because then she knows if she cries long enough, you WILL eventually come in. Our pediatrician says that it takes 3 days to correct a situation and you have to stay strong. It really is the hardest thing to do, but by the 3rd day, your little one should no longer wake you!

Is she really hungry at night? She def. should not be up to nurse at this point and should easily go 10 hours without eating as long as she is getting enough during the day.

Stay strong!!! It will work if you let it... 3 days of the cry out method will work (and you are NOT doing any permanent damage in doing so) With both my boys I used the principles of babywise AND The Baby Whisperer (took what worked for us). My 8 month old has been sleeping though the night since he was 2-3 months old. I too had to let him cry a couple of times and viola! Great sleeper.

GOOD LUCK!
S.

Does she seem hungry when you nurse her? You didn't mention, but that is an important issue. If she is hungry, you might want to give her more filling foods before bed like vegetarian beans (mashed of course :) ) or whole wheat toast with dinner. This is still lower fat, but enough fat and fiber to help her sleep not feeling hungry. I believe in using the Baby wise approach with my kids, but I did an few changes to what I felt was good for my kids. It sounds like she might be hungry. I think one nursing at night is not bad and she might be going through a growth spurt.

I feel sad that people have to demonize the Baby Wise approach. I know several families that it worked for, including us, and others that it didn't. I think that parents know their child more than anyone else and if they feel that it's a fit in their family - then use it. I work with a girl who has used the Ferber approach on all 3 of her boys. She still has issues with them sleeping in the night but not because she did something wrong with the approach... they are just light sleepers.

HTH and good luck!
~T.

anything changed in her diet? your diet?

has she started drinking milk and eating a lot of dairy products?
this can lead to night-wakings!
try cutting out, from both of your diets (unless she's been fine all alog with you eating milk products, then just cut it out from her diet), ALL milk products (NOT LACTOSE, as this is milk SUGAR, but milk PROTEIN)for two weeks. Check ingredients and don't even give 'hidden' milk as in whey, rhennet, casin, etc.
Google 'milk protein names' to find a complete list.
what will she drink? there are 'other' milks such as: rice, oat & even potato (you can find these at whole foods) milks. you'll need to add some 'good fats' to her diet, too such as olive oil, flax seed oil & avocado oil...it's 'just' 2 weeks...see if sleep improves!
if it does, you can then try adding back in milk protein as an INGREDIENT (like try some cheddar bunnies or something)and see what happens to her sleep. if sleep goes downhill again, then cut out the 'hidden' milk protein again...if it IS milk protein, then this is an issue you can work with!

otherwise: don't go in to her when she cries. send daddy (or if you have someone else to go in to her) w/ a sippy, straw or otherwise, of WATER. this should 'only' last a few night bcse she will quickly realize that daddy and water are not 'worth it' (sorry daddy, lol!)
what i did was to address ONE time she wakes at a time...
so you say it's 3-5 times per night. make a 'cut-off' time that's good for you, for example: I will NOT go in past 2a.m. Then, when she wakes at 2:30 address THAT waking with daddy and water. soon she'll stop waking then and you'll move to the 'next' time she wakes until she isn't waking anymore...

this is just a phase! look at how big your older daughter is! they get big so quicky!

Hey! I know how frustrating waking up all night can be, I've been there! I just wanted to second the recommendations below to check out the book, No Cry Sleep Solution and also contact La Leche League. They have been a great resource for me when I needed help in these areas. The one in Boyton also has a library with books such as No Cry that you can borrow. I also read Babywise, well at least some of it. It didn't tkae long to figure out "training" babies was kind of a crazy concept. There was a reason that it felt wrong to hear my baby crying and not take care of her. I figured that was the contract I made whn I decided to have her. Creating good habits and meeting your childs needs can be done without all the trauma/drama. It can be tough at times, but it will be worth it in the end. Good luck, you will figure it out! You are on the right track. I know how tough it is to be sleep deprived, hang in there.

Babywise isn't a great program; it's too rigid and feeding on demand is essential for an infant. But it sounds like you went too far! I might suggest weaning her from night feedings by working on them one at a time. Take each feeding separately, and gradually decrease the amount of time you nurse her. Eventually, just hold her and give her a sippy cup with water. She'll stop waking up because it won't be worth it! Then do it with each subsequent feeding. It'll take some time, but it won't be traumatic for anyone, and you'll be able to get some sleep!

I'm no expert, but I have two girls, 4 and 2.5 and they both sleep very well (all my friends are jealous!) and I attribute it to The Sleep Lady, Kim West, author of 'Good Night, Sleep Tight'. With our first child we were at a loss. Baby Wise was not for me. I discovered 'Good Night, Sleep Tight' when she was about 11 months old and it worked. It took at least a couple of weeks and during that time I didn't think it work, but I stuck it out and it did. I used it again with #2 when she was about 7 months old (that's when I decided to cut out the nighttime nursing) and it worked great for her - she's an awesome sleeper. I didn't follow the "sleep shuffle" (what her technique is called) to the "T"; I modified it to MY comfort zone, which I firmly believe anyone following anyone's advice should do. The book is great because you don't have to read the entire thing to learn the technique, it's broken down into sections based on age and different issues. That's my two cents - best of luck!

Have you contacted LaLecheLeague? They are a great resource for nursing mothrs...
Best wishes, for a sleeping baby and a calm mommie...

1. Make sure she is getting enough to eat during the day to eliminate the possibility she really is hungry. One year olds eat a lot more than you think they need.
2. Does she have a nap schedule during the day. A brief morning nap around 9 and a longer afternoon nap around 1 is recommended
3. Bedtime should be between 7 & 8pm. Any later and you enter the "overtired" zone where nightwakings start to emerge.
4. You have to decide to stop nursing. Offering the breast in the middle of the night is the "easy" approach. Whether it's ignoring, rocking, patting or pacifier, do something else and do not offer the breast if you no longer want to.
5. Keep a record. You may think she's waking up and crying for an hour but if you keep a log, it may only be 10 minutes.
6. Do not blame her. It's easy to focus on the behavior of the child and forget that it is also the behavior of the parents that have led to this behavior. Make sure not to direct any anger or frustration. She will pick up on it if you go into her room in a huff and upset, making problems worse.
7. You are familiar with BabyWise so you know what you need to do, don't prevent fear from changing your routine or behavior.

K.,
I partially read the Baby Wise you are referring to. I did not read through the whole book, primarily because I do not beleive in "training" anyone to sleep. While it's true that a child at some point must learn to soothe him/herself without mom or dad, I do not believe in the idea that a child must be "trained" to sleep...some babies are just not tired when you expect them to be. The child will either go to sleep or not but how the parents respond DOES make a difference. On the same note, I do not beleive in allowing a child to "cry it out." A child who does not know how to communicate with words, like an infant for example, MUST cry to communicate and that child (infant) will only learn to trust when his/her needs are responded to.

As for your 1 year old waking up to nurse, a child of 12 months or older is unlikely waking because he/she is thirsty. I would rule out teething or illness because those should be the ONLY reasons a child older than 12 months should wake up during the night and nursing during the night should not be allowed. I would begin feeding your daughter a bowl of cereal before bedtime and top her off with nursing if that is how you put her to sleep. What cereal? You can make a small bowl of oatmeal or Farina or Cream of Wheat. You could offer a cup of yogurt and that should remedy her hunger during the night. IF she continues to wake up during the night even with feeding her something before bedtime, then you must begin offering water only in a sippy cup, not a bottle. I have experienced having to "wait" before going to my child's room, but 45 minutes is a long time to wait before responding to a baby. I would not offer the breast during the night and insist that mommy's milk is sleeping and she must go to sleep as well. When you wait so long to respond to her cry because you really don't want to nurse her, you are sending her mixed signals. The signal you send is that she will continue to cry until you come and give her exactly what she wants, which is your breast. Begin telling her that she will not get mommy's milk during the night, that she must go back to sleep and if she is thirsty, she will only get water and do not give in to anything else. Soon, in time she will understand that if she only gets water, it's not worth the time and effort to stay awake.

If I'm not mistaken because I to did the baby wise method (which as you know does work) but I think there is a Baby Wise for a toddler....I think it is called Toddler Wise??? I know the same person wrote it...for those who did not do it when they were infants. I do however know last year when my son turned 1 he just went from sleeping threw the night to getting up a couple of times a night...My ped told me to offer him water instead of milk and after a couple of nights he stopped. We are now approaching 2 and he just started again last week waking up at 4am...telling me his teeth hurt. I thank god I did the baby wise way back when but I have been thinking about trying to get my hands on a copy of the toddler version because something is going on... and I am not doing well with less sleep...so my heart goes out to you...I hope it gets better for you guys!!!

Breatfed one-year-olds don't usually sleep through the night. We co-slept, so it was less wakeful to nurse her, I just had to roll over and semi-doze while she nursed. If you really want to change her sleeping habits and you want to stick with a child-centered approach, I highly recommend the book, The No Cry Sleep Solution. It is written by a mother of four and very helpful. I got it at the library and suggest you do if money is a concern. If your library doesn't have it they can have it loaned to them by another library. I read the book when my daughter was about 2. It's good for anywhere from infants to toddlers, breastfed to bottlefed. Check it out and give it a try.
Please don't listen to the babywise promoters below, and keep in mind the reasons you switched to a baby-centered approach with your second child.

I did Babywise with both of ours. But with our second, I threw in a dose of Dr. Ferber around 6 months old. Best thing I ever did! While our first child slept soundly at night, getting him to bed to begin with was a nightmare. Not so with #2. Piece of cake. And once they master falling asleep on their own, going BACK to sleep is SOOO much easier!

Any chance you could try to work through some of Dr. Ferber's methods at bedtime? Despite what many people call it (Cry It Out method), you do NOT just ignore your child while they cry... until eventually they cry themselves to sleep. You DO check on them- but you don't pick them up or "reward" their crying. You check that they are okay, rub their back and leave. In increasingly longer intervals. Don't try it on a weekday. Wait until you have a nice long weekend. It only took our daughter 3 nights. But at your dd's age, it might take a little longer (perhaps 5 or 6 days?). I would also suggest (in order to avoid the "nursing" issue during the night) that you enlist the help of your husband. Get him "on board" with the plan and let HIM go to do the soothing/checking when she wakes during the night. It will be hard; I'm not going to say it won't. But in a week, you might ALL be sleeping much more soundly.

http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ferber_method

P.S. : Using an actual clock to observe the passage of time while she is crying will be a huge benefit... time seems a lot longer than it really is...

P.S.S. : I would also like to add, like Tammi, that breastfeeding doesn't have anything to do with your child being able to sleep through the night. Both my kids (one was exclusively breastfed, one wasn't) slept for IN EXCESS of 7 hrs continuously by (or before) they were 14 WEEKS old. They are very happy and healthy kids today, and STILL sleep great!