Need Advice on Weaning at 12 Month Old

Updated on March 16, 2010
M.D. asks from Bedford, NY
10 answers

This is my second child so you'd think I'd already have the answer to my question...but I'm having trouble weaning my 12 month old daughter and I just can't remember how I did it with my son! She is exclusively breastfeed - would never take a bottle. So I introduced a variety of cups a few months ago to get her ready for weaning once she could drink milk. So now at 12 months she can use a cup and will take a few sips here and there. But now that she has realized what is happening she mostly refuses it. My original plan was to cut down her breastfeedings to just morning and night and have her drink from her cup during the day...then cut out the morning...then the night etc. But so far, she gets mad and doesn't want her cup...and I'm a sucker who doesn't want her to be thirsty or not be able to nap. So refresh my memory and tell me if I'm just being a whimp.

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K.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Just wanted to let you know you aren't alone! I'm having the same issue with my 15 month old and then add in a dairy allergy. So I'm even more worried about weaning since soy and rice milk aren't quite the same nutionally. I think you have a good plan and just need to work the plan. It's hard when they don't want to help out! :) Good luck!

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E.F.

answers from Casper on

Mary,
This is what I do
I nurse when they get up from napping, so they never get use to nursing to sleep. once they are eating three meals a day and two snacks then I start nursing three times a day. one in the morning, one for a snack usually around 4 pm and then one just before bed. When they are use to the three times a day then I just drop the middle of the day one. Keeping the morning and night time. I give a sippy with one scoop ( just a hint of a fun flavor) of ovaltine right when he gets up from his morning nap. This distracts him and then get him lunch right away. I don't mention anything about nursing. And I don't hold him very long until after he is fed. If he asks to nurse, I just say "yes later" or "we will, tonight" Once you have gone one day, try for the next day, and so forth. If she has a melt down, do your best to not give in. Just keep telling her, you will in a while, or whatever your phrase is. when you have gone a week or two, then drop whichever of the remaining nursings are her least favorite. if it is the morning she likes, then at night tell her you will nurse in the morning.(only if she asks) And it might help if you start a little bit different night time routine and have dad put her to bed. If it is the night time one she likes then in the morning, quickly give her breakfast or a sippy with warm milk and a bit of ovaltine and if she asks about nursing, again tell her you will later, and keep her busy.
After you are down to just one nursing, then just feed her every other day and then every two and then every three and so on. If feeding her every few days is harder on her at this point, you can just wait as many days as you possibly can and then pump. Gradually your body won't produce much and will absorb it naturally.
She only need 1 1/2 - 3 cups of milk a day. So if she is getting other liquids and other dairy in her diet, I would stick with your plan and she should be fine even if she is protesting.
Good luck
E.
Good luck
E.

1 mom found this helpful

J.J.

answers from Pittsburgh on

d.

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D.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

She may be upset for a few days but do not give in. She will drink when she is thirsty. Do not think you are a sucker. Stick to your guns. She will drink from a cup when she realizes you will not breastfeed her anymore.

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J.P.

answers from Boise on

I used the Nuk sippy cups, as they seemed the most natural of sippy cups. I knew that he would take these at daycare, so when I started weaning, this is what I went to. Oh, he screamed and refused it after the first day (I think I surprised him the first day). I felt horrible, but I actually just stuck it in his mouth while he screamed and when his mouth closed, and he realized it was there, he actually drank some and seemed okay with it. I had to keep this up though, until he took that meal with a sippy. Once that one meal was okay with him, I added another. By the end of the weaning, he seemed to accept it. He hasn't asked for the breast since. That was at 14.5 months.

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C.D.

answers from Scranton on

I think you just need to be firm and consistent if you are ready to wearn. And don't feel gulity about it. Breastfeeding is a wonderful gift to your child and the best thing for their health when they are babies, but is also very labor intensive and there comes a time when you need to stop for your personal sanity - it does not have to be anything as dramatic as "chemo" as Kathy Z suggested. You are the Mom and you get to make that decision, just like all the other decisions in parenting, not your child. Good luck. I'm sure there will be lots of crying, but if you are consistent, she should be weaned in a month or so.

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J.S.

answers from Seattle on

I actually would love to see the responses to this. I am still trying to figure out how to wean my EBF 18 month old! I was doing the 'don't offer, don't refuse' thing, but now matter where we are or what we are doing, there are just certain times like clockwork, where she wants her milkies! She also nurses to nap and sleep, so I'm thinking we have an interesting road ahead of us! Good luck!

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L.V.

answers from Dallas on

I have four children. The first was nursed for a few weeks, then bottle. Second was nursed for two years (yes, I was a wimp!) then straight to sippy cups. Third was nursed for two years again! Nursing for two years wasn't necessary; I just did what was good for the baby at first, then didn't have the heart to wean them with all the crying it would cause on my many attempts to stop. Fourth was bottle fed only, because I didn't want to get trapped in the nursing mode again. If you are determined to stop nursing, it's up to you. Wrap your breasts with the Ace Bandage, at least that's how we did it in the early 90's. It will be painful for a while, then it will be over with. Your child will cry and throw lots of fits, but it will be over in a few weeks. The sippy cup will be thrown on the floor and hurled across the room by the baby. You'll think you're going to lose your mind and you can't do it. But you can! And it will give you the courage to move forward and be strong on other issues in the future. Weaning is one of the easier things you will face as a mother. Just be patient and loving; try not to be frustrated about it in front of the baby.

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V.G.

answers from Portland on

What you're doing sounds perfect to me. I know you want to wean, but listening to your daughter is probably the best thing you could do.
If you'd still like to cut down, perhaps talking to her and explaining? My son is 15 months and now only wants to nurse before bed and once during the night. I think he just gradually stopped wanting it during the day, plus it helped that I would keep him super busy until naptime to keep his mind off it and then just put him in his crib and he would go straight to sleep.
Good luck!

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K.Z.

answers from Cleveland on

I don't think you are being a wimp. I just think your baby is not ready to wean yet. You could go the "don't offer, don't refuse" route. You might want to talk to a La Leche League leader or read the book The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. You can call 1-800-LA LECHE for a referral to a leader in your area. It is OK to talk to a leader or attend meetings even if you are not a member. Unless you have a real pressing need to wean (e.g. you need chemo), I would just let baby lead the way, she will let you know when she is ready to wean. This special time will be over soon enough, no need to rush. Enjoy your baby!

K. Z.

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