Need Advice on Overbooking My 2 Year Old

T.,

I think it's great to have your 2 year old involved with other children, but I do think that sometimes they can be overstimulated, which in turn can make mommy overstimulated. :) I have 2 children. My son never met a stranger from the time he took his first breath. My daughter was stuck to me like glue and was very shy. She did enjoy being around other children, but she also required alot of mommy time. I think that we so badly don't want our children to miss out on anything that we schedule way too much for them, and for us. I was a single mom for 16 years, running my own business, coaching every team my kids were on, pta everything, every charity board or committee. I ran myself ragged, and sometimes I ran my kids that way too. One thing that really helped me out was learning to say, "I'd love to, but I can't". I think you've made a wise decision in waiting to send your daughter to nursery school. They have plenty of school to go through over the years. My kids are almost 20, and 13. I wish I could have some of those years back, it goes by way too fast.

Maybe you could take Tuesdays off, then alternate, say one Thursday at your house then 2 weeks later on Thursday cousin's house, then 2 weeks later on Thursday at your house, and maybe 2 Fridays a month with best friend. That way you could still get in the time with your daughter, and also get in some quiet seclusion time for yourself (which you definitely need!)

It may not be able to work out for you that way, its just a suggestion. For what it's worth, I hope it helps.

-M.

I'm totally with you on that quiet seclusion!

My advise would be to see how things go for the first week or two. Just see how your daughter reacts to the busy schedule, also see if it's going to be too much for you. I think you'll know if it's too much and if it is you can take some time off from something. Maybe play time with the cousin could be during gymnastics or music, then they would get to hang out but will be enjoying a hobby together and it would also leave you the 2 scheduled cousin days open to just hang out at home!

My oldest ds seemed to thrive on having an activity every morning. He did well in large groups, though. It got old for me, but he liked it. My second did well one on one but not so much in large groups and by the time he was old enough to enjoy stuff, I was worn out from doing it w/ his brother, who had just started kindergarten, so we stayed home alot. If she's frightened and shy in large groups I'd probably cancel the large group activities and just do the things she enjoys.

Maybe your feeling is right....it is wonderful to read about a parent applying themselves and child into things like music at such a young age but they are kids too....maybe leave Friday open? and one friday you do something not booked and if you do not feel like it spend one on one time with tot at home (Maybe coffee with just moms? or something like that )

T.:

Your child will still get into college, be well adjusted, have friends, and not need a therapist if she is home three or more days a week. We grew up that way didn't we? And though I don't know you so can't speak for you exactly I can say for myself that I:

Went to college, got a degree in political science and criminal justice,
had friends in school, and still have them
am well adjusted
do not see a therapist

And I never had a structured playgroup, organized music class until elementary school, and never went to pre school. My kinder was half day too.

So, for my daughter: never went to pre school, had playgroups on Mondays and MDO on Thursdays only. Did Ladies Bible Class on Wednesday mornings so she had fun in the nursery with the other kids on those days. That was pretty much it until she was 5. (there were scheduled things thrown in , but never on a weekly basis) Then we did two days a week for MDO and in the fall 1/2 day Kindergarten. (hard to find in San Antonio, but we managed) We did do the library, zoo, and children's museum. I did Kindermusic with her every summer and she did take swim lessons so again some structed stuff, but in the summer and not the whole year.

Your child's days do not need to be "filled". She will not look back one day and say "oh I remember when I was two and we went to music class and had great play dates". She will probably have vague memories of that at 3 and more solid ones at 4. That's not to say you do nothing with them because they won't remember it, but it is to say that kids really have fun with just about anything. We remember MOMENTS, not DAYS!

Enjoy, because they are only little for a little time. I'd pick two things and leave everything else open. And for what it's worth, preschool is over rated. There is NOTHING you can't teach your child at that age. Send her if you think it will be fun, or you need a some alone time, not because you must or she will be an idiot and never get into Harvard. If you do send her, be sure it's one with lots of activities, not paper and pencil at a desk. She will have 12 years of that all too soon. Kids learn through play at this age- let her play!!!

B.

Hi T.,
There are so many activities for kids, but if you like your quiet time don't sacrifice that for yourself... you may regret overbooking YOURSELF. Find a nice balance that you can live with for your little one... without stressing yourself out. :)

Why not wait on the gymnastics and music? She will have plenty of activities and such when she's older in elementary school, right??? Let her be a kid for a while and just play. I'm trying to do that with my kids. I'm a little overbooked myself. They have Parent's Day Out on Tuesday and Thursdays. Then playgroup every Friday. I'm starting two Bible Studies in September on Wednesdays. I'm trying to decided what I can back off from. It may be one of the bible studies. I hate to do it, but I feel like we're always on the go otherwise. I wanted to be a stay-at-home Mom, not an on-the-go one. I stayed at home too much when my daughter was an infant/baby, and now we're doing too much. It's hard to find a balance. I would suggest keeping the playdates with the other kids though. Most important for your daughter is to learn relationship skills right now. The other stuff can come later. I'm telling myself that too!

My husbands and I are youth pastors and we are constantly on the go. I am a SAHM but many weekends were are hardly home at all. What I see with my 2 yr old daughter Moriah, is that when she is doing to much and out of her element of our home she gets very grumpy and dosent listen as well to correction. I honestly think that you are gonna overload you child. When they are 2 they just want to play and eat!:)Are you sure that you aren't just getting her stuff to do to keep you busy? Plus you don't wanna get so tired with all that stuff that you are to tired for house stuff your other shildren and your hubby! Just a thought....

I was reading your post and my first thought was, when is your down time? "Overbooking" means to "Over do it", and why does she need to go to nursery school?

Hey T.! I see it as this: I have a 4yr old son...although putting your toddler in activities can be great, dont overwhelm yourself or your child will get the same feeling...give your daughter some time during the week to wake up late or just be at home sometimes and run around in the jammies for no reason...designate a day during the week where you and her can do that because days like that wont last long while she's little and enjoy the time you two have as mommy and daughter...all those activities can be done when she's a bit older, and right now would be a good time for some bonding while she's still quite little. My son and I make time to do things and he even loves to watch me cook/bake as we sing our ABC's or sing nursery Rhymes...but on the other hand I am a single mom with a full time job so he does go to daycare...I made sure of that cause it helps them to learn to socialize but yet have some independence at the same time. I hope this helped!