Daycare wants my 7-mo-old daughter to take naps promptly at 10 and 2 every day. They've done a good job of getting her on a fairly regular schedule, but she doesn't always want to nap right at those times -- and she often naps for 30-45 minutes, instead of the 2 hours they'd prefer. When she doesn't want to go to sleep yet or when she wakes up after what they consider a short nap and they don't pick her up, she cries. Once last week she cried for an hour and a half; once for an hour. She doesn't do that at home. I'm concerned they're trying to force her to conform to a schedule that fits their needs far more than hers and that they're not responsive enough to her when she protests. I know the daycare providers can't give her the same kind of attention that we do at home because they have 8 kids and 2 adults, but letting her cry for an hour and a half seems extreme to me. Am I overreacting? What's the best way to approach this with the providers/director? Thanks.
Thanks, everyone, for your responses. They were very reassuring -- sometimes you just need validation, you know? I've started talking more with the daycare folks and will continue to monitor the situation. Day care is just plain hard -- but staying home might be even harder! Thanks again.
No you are not over reacting there is no reason your daughter should cry that long. You need to find another day care. You know what is best for your her what baby that young does the same thing at the same time none. I don't think what they are doing is healthy for her at all.
I have been a childcare provider for 10 years and I am also a mother of an 18 month old. I am sitting here trying myself to find better care for my son and I ran across yor delima. I am outraged that any daycare worker would think that i would be acceptable to let any child at any age cry for so long. A 7 month old has no concept of time as long as they are sleeping 10-14 hours in a twenty four period all is good. Your instincts are right on about the teachers doing what is easy for them, ALWAYS follow you instincs!! Don't let them decide what is right for your baby girl and remember MOMA knows best.
Good Luck
W. T
First, I'm shocked that they actually admitted to letting her cry for an hour and a half. I would definitely approach the director and let her know your feelings about that. Neither of my children ever took real extended naps and babies are not robots, you can't program them to do exactly what you want. Letting her cry for that long borders on neglect, she could have made herself sick. No, they can't spend the time with her there that you do at home but they can pick her up if she has cried for more than 10 minutes.
That seems a little extreme to me. My daughter is 6 mo old and in daycare too, but they do not insist upon a schedule for her, which is what I prefer. My daughter takes naps, but they are not always a certain time of the day (although close to 9, noon and 3) and not always of a certain length (anywhere from 30 mins to 1 hour -- never 2 hrs!). She attends Childrens' Center of Knoxville and we love it. What daycare does your daughter attend?
I had similar problems at the day care I had my son it for awhile. The worst part was that I worked at the daycare! It was so hard, my son was only 9 months old when he started there and he was still taking two naps a day! They only wanted him to take 1! Not to mention when he did wake he had to stay in his crib until the assigned nap time was over! It was really hard trying to work this out with them, so I know what you are going through. The best way I learned is to talk directly to the person in charge, in my case it was my son's team leader (who set the schedule of the room). If you try to talk to any of the workers (anyone that takes directions from someone higher)things just get too confusing. Tell them that you know that they have a schedule and that you understand it is important to keep the place running smoothly but your daughter is an individual and won't always conform. Tell them at your home we don't leave her in the crib crying and that they should allow her to do something else as long as it is not disturbing any of the sleeping children. I would come up with some suggestions for them, like put her in a pack n' play with some toys (the deal with my son was that there were other kids on the floor sleeping so he couldn't get out of his crib if he was awake) or put her in a play saucer or whatever you would prefer she doing other than laying in her crib and screaming. But be sure to let them know that you understand that schedules are important and you want to respect theirs as much as possible but it isn't fair to your daughter to have to let her cry.
Honestly, the best thing to do is communicate your expectations. You are paying for a service and are a customer. Don't feel like you are imposing on them by asking them to take care of her.
Let them know what you consider excessive. It can be a civil conversation and you don't have to make threats or anything. Hear where they are coming from, but let them know how you would like her cared for.
I have a 7-month-old, too ... and this would REALLY bother me. I think you have every right to question this and I would talk to them about your concerns. My daughter just now got better at taking "regular" naps, but I still let her dictate her schedule a bit (although she's worked into a pretty regular routine on her own). I don't think letting a baby cry (especially that long) is okay ... and you're paying them to take care of her.
My son was in daycare until 13 months old (since then I've been a full-time stay-at-home Mom). He was a TERRIBLE napper at daycare. He was far too distracted there to sleep, and that would interfere with him sleeping well at night (because he was too tired). I think any caregiver should work with the parents to provide the type of care that works best for ALL (not just them). Best of luck to you with this!
NO you are not overreacting!! I work in childcare and I have 10 babies and 2 teachers and state says they cannot be in the crib crying for for than 5 mins at a time plus i dont think they are supposed to have imposed naps at that age--i know we let ours nap when they are tired amd no they all do not sleep at once EVER they sleep and get up when they are ready. As far as approching the director I would tell her that you do not want your child crying for more than X amount of time and that if she is not tired at these times they need to wait until she is tired and that if she taked 2 naps she isnt going to sleep 2 hrs both times. You have to remember that they are there to take care of your child not your child making their day easy.
