My 7 Mo-old Son Cries in His High Chair at PM Feeding. WHY?

This might sound crazy but have dinner about 30 min. earlier and then put him to bed earlier. I don't know if you want to do the same for his twin, but I would assume so. It probably isn't the food, it is the time of day. My son started acting up early in the evening too with dinner time being practically impossible. We now put him to bed at 6 pm and he sleeps until after 6am and all is going well. Yes, we eat at between 5pm and 5:30 pm which can make that challenging for the parents. But if we have a happy baby, it is well worth it! He is beginning to nap better too. Give it a try and see if it works for you too.

Good luck!

L. H.
Costa Mesa

My kids were all fussy in the evening. That could just be his pattern-if it is-give it a few months, he'll grow out of it.

maybe try to feed the solid foods first and milk after..
I notice with my 8 month old we feed solids and bath and then milk. On some days, by the time we get to the end of the bath or changing to pJs He is so tired, no matter what we do he gets upset.

I have tried feeding earlier, but that just seems too early. I have also tried to wake him up earlier in the moring to push his whole schedule early, but sometimes my life does not allow this...
I am sorry Iam reading this.. I don't think it helps. Good luck.

First of all, seven months old is WAY TOO YOUNG to start any type of discipline!!! However you do need to set limits for them and you. You and your husband need to agree on how much you'll allow, and babies do need rules, but not discipline (until around 1 1/2 to 2 years old.)
I would just feed him earlier and see if that helps. Is he getting enough sleep? Maybe feed him right after his afternoon nap when he's rested and happy. At this age, it doesn't really matter what time of day babies have their solid foods, it's really only for "practice" at this stage. He should be getting all of his nutrients from his bottle until he's one.
Good luck! :)

At 7 mo old the only "discipline" I would do is distraction. They are not old enough to be saying "I'm going to manipulate mommy with this crying routine" - if they are crying then something is wrong and it should be addressed. Research has shown that when you respond to babies and take care of their needs you end up with better behaved children than when you ignore them and make them "cry it out" which only teaches them that no cares about their needs. I would say feed him earlier and let him sit in your lap - or make sure he gets some mommy lap time before dinner starts. Maybe in the dinner hour rush he feels forgotten and just wants to be reassured. I have a 20 years old beautiful, responible and loving daughter that I "spoiled" by always addressing her needs as a baby- it goes by too fast! Love them now!!

Mom of four here, from 26 to 9. This is not a discipline issue. There is nothing to nip in the bud. 7 months is WAY too young to start perceiving things as a discipline issue. Your husband is dead wrong. There is plenty of time for guidance and discipline later in life. Right now you have two babies. Your son is an individual and should be respected as one. He is not trying to control or manipulate you - he is trying to communicate with someone who does not understand his language. You cannot expect his behavior to be the same this month as it was last month. At his age, three meals of solids a day is completely unnecessary and not what his body was designed to need. He won't starve if you lighten up on the solids at dinnertime. Maybe he isn't interested in the evening meal. Maybe you are feeding him something for that meal that doesn't agree with him. Maybe he just doesn't want to sit in his high chair for dinner. Maybe you are feeding him too late in the evening. Maybe something traumatized him during the evening meal. You are his mom and it is your job to figure out what is wrong and fix it, and to adjust to his changing needs. He is a wonderful baby, after all. DO NOT let your husband damage your son by starting up the discipline at this young age. He needs to lighten up and pipe down. If you turn everything into a discipline issue, and start disciplining before it does any good, you defeat the purpose of discipline and create huge problems in later years.

He may not be hungry. If he begins to cry after 4 bites then the meal is over. This is his way of telling you. When he is hungry he will stay in the chair and eat just as he does at the other two meals. And just my two cents most babies do not move to three meals a day until about 8 months and remember the first year food is more about the experience so if he is telling you mommy I have had enough then he has had enough. ALSO, you may want to switch the solds and bottle so he has solids at 4:30 and then the final bottle at bedtime as 6:30 is usually a melt down time for my son. So we do a bath and get ready for bed and have bottle/breast then. A good plan would be:

Wake up: bottle
1-1 1/2 hours later solids
play
nap
wake up
1-1 1/2 hours later bottle
play
nap
wake up 1- 1 1/2 hours later solids
play
nap
wake up
play
1-1 1/2 hours later bottle
play
nap
wake up
play
1- 1 1/2 hours later solids
play
nap
wake up
1- 1 1/2 hous later bedtime bottle

Hi A., Im H. and I am a mother and an occupational therapist who works with children, some with feeding challenges. First, applause to the fact that your son eats two meals without distress and has no problem in his high chair. Likely he is getting the nutrients and varied food flavors and is accepting them well. Of what little I know of your situation, and I do understand it can be stressful. There are a couple of things I will respond to that may help look at this in a different light. Unless your child shows frequent bouts of crying throughout the day surrounding activities and events, I would not immediately jump to the conclusion that he is doing this to spite you. Before language comes in, cries, laughs, grunts, body movements are their forms of communicating and I think he is communicating distress. I think you might be on a better track to place yourself on his side and try and work out the mystery. He may be full, after a day of food and milk, with a bottle at 4:30, he may be done. Crying is marker that something is uncomfortable. HIs tummy may be saying enough. He may not like what is being fed to him. ( Is it different than his lunch or breakfast ?) Try favorite foods with a little new if that is the case.

I would try feeding him a small dinner meal between 4:30 and 5pm and then a bottle later. Milk is one of the more filling "foods" and he may not be hungry when it is time for dinner.

Also, if you do find he is still crying at the dinner meal even by changing the time, I suggest taking him out of the highchair after three bites ( before he starts crying) and praise him and give him lots of good feelings. As he is able to take in another bite the next day or two without distress, then do so, but take him out before he cries. That shows you and him who is in charge. He will not have the opportunity to show distress because you have taken care of it before it has happened. He begins to replace good feelings with the negative experience he is beginning to become accoustomed to.

I would encourage you not to feed him in your lap; that may turn into another problem, different than what you are dealing with. Once he is out of the highchair, mealtime is over. Feeding only occurs in the highchair so try not to make other areas available. That we see a lot of and parents in desperation, will sometimes end up running around the house trying to feed their children when they won't sit in a chair to eat.

Altoghter, try and maintain that mealtime is a pleasant experience. I think that is what you are aiming for but have found a fork in the road (hah!) and will continue to do so as you move through the phases. Some meals will be smaller and some bigger. Your baby will not starve by having a smaller meal for a few days. He is doing well throughout the day.

I guess my bottom line is always see your child's distress as a signal to helping them through. Be on his side and shift patterns, foods, approach to support your little one and you will see that they really believe you on their side, and not in a position to anger you or manipulate you. You made the choice to comfort him by putting him in your lap. It worked but maybe you are not satisfied with that tactic. The goal is to have him happy in the highchair. Make every sitting pleasant, even if it means a smaller time in it.

Hope this helps. Its one of many suggestions.
H.

He might very well be tired, -or just missing your company if you have been busy cooking and setting the table.

And at 7 months old, they do not really have an idea of cause and effect, and as such "disciplining" them is a waste of time and energy.
I am glad that you are picking up on your son's cues to be held :-)

Good luck :-)
(especially on agreeing with your husband).

Hi A.,
First, I wouldn't worry too much if your little guy just cried today at the dinner time. I was not sure what you describe is just happen as the first time or many times. There could be other reasons to his cry and at times as parents although we try our hardest, we wouldn't be able to comprehend or it right away. If he does well on breakfast and lunch time, he will eventually be OK for dinner. You have done a great job in setting bedtime routine for him so he knows what to expect. I would take it day by day and try several ways if he is fussy on dinner. Perhaps, you can move dinner time a bit earlier to see if he would be happier to eat. Also, you can try different type of food (texture, taste, color) . I wouldn't recommend the strictness until you know the reason for his cry. When you find out his actual needs and able to meet those needs, then it could be easier for you to choose your course of action to help him. A little gentle reminder for what you share about you heard that "start become more strict....," is that 7 month-old-babies communicate at times through their cry to voice their needs and that crying is not nesscesary is a negative thing nor a bad behavior. Hope this helps.

It sounds as if you have wonderful babies! I would suspect two issues may be going on with your son. First, he is probably getting too tired in the evening to be confined to the high chair. Many babies at this age, especially boys, are starting to get more active and have little interest in sitting still so close to bedtime, unless being comforted, as he is when in your lap. The other issue is that by having a bottle at 4:30, he may not be that hungry at 6:30. Fortunately, he is already eating breakfast and lunch well. I would try to feed him dinner in the highchair a bit earlier, maybe 5:30 or 6:00, but give him a smaller bottle at 4:30. IF you feel it is important for him to have the full bottle, then I would still try the solids earlier. If he cries, calmly take him out of the chair and put him down, while his sister continues her meal. After she is finished, just continue with your normal routine. You do not want to make eating unpleasant but your husband is correct that he should not be fed in your lap. Just keep the emotion out of it, and your baby will be more relaxed too. The good news is that he is already eating agreeably at two other times during the day!(My son, had very little interest in solid food until he was about nine months old and refused to sit in the highchair when younger.) So it seems you are already doing quite well! Good luck and I hope this helps you!

You said :: After he eats and I get him cleaned up, he goes into his pj's, gets a story and then a bottle and is off to bed.

Then you said ::: His normal schedule is a bottle 4:30, solid foods at 6:30, then the bedtime routine that I've listed above. Then another bottle ?

sounds like you are over feeding the kid, and his belly hurts... he should have his lunch then maybe a snack 0f jar food pudding or a baby cookie but something very small, only if he acts hungrey if not then dinner starting off with baby food, then allow his belly to rest clean him up, Pj's a story then his night bottle. you could make dinner time a tad earlier, but thats your choice..

As several people have suggested, you probably just need to feed him earlier. My almost 11 month old seems to follow this schedule pretty well (and has been eating this way since about 7 months):
6:30 am bottle (5-7 oz)
7:30 am breakfast in high chair (cereal + fruit + yogurt)
12 noon lunch (protein + 2 veggies + other)
1 pm bottle (5-7 oz)
4 pm bottle (4 oz)
5 pm dinner (protein + 2 veggies + cheese/yogurt)
7:15 bedtime bottle (5-7 oz)
The amount of food relative to milk/formula should increase as your baby gets older. Whether our schedule is normal, I'm not sure, but at least you can have a comparison.

I can't speak directly to why he is crying but I can tell you for sure he is trying to tell you something. you may very well be onto something that it's too late for him and he needs to eat earlier, or there's too much simulus and that's why once he gets in your loving arms he can relax and handle it. or maybe he's just not hungry, eating 3 meals a day for a 7 month old is a lot. Sounds like you have wonderful twins, don't worry you are doing things wrong, sounds like you are doing a great job!

The thing about them getting used to things is that everything will change, everything, so even if you think he's going to get used to something you think is "bad" chances are in 2 months it all will be different and it'll be something new. So I would say don't worry so much about his getting used to sitting in your lap let him do it for now but work on finding out why he is crying, what it is he's trying to tell you. These little humans are so very smart, they know what they want or need, they just have a hard time expressing it in a language we can understand.

Since you wrote "Daddy and I already are having issues on how they should be disciplined." I thought I'd share a really, really wonderful Dr. and her website. Her name is Aletha Solter and she is a Swiss/American developmental psychologist, who is recognized internationally as an expert on attachment, trauma, and non-punitive discipline. She advocates Aware Parenting and really is fabulous. The reason I introduce her to you is because for me the words discipline and 7 months just clash. They are little babies and just need their parents love and understanding. She is helping me a lot in dealing with 28 month old daughter who just recently stared with some tanrums that were just so sad (the crying could break your heart) and through Dr. Solter's work I really see how her tantrums are usually a direct result of stress and I have to work to find that stress and reduce it and when it's just a result of growth, be understanding and be her rock to vent to but give her caring and understanding to help her through it. The tantrums are so much easier and milder since I put her philosophy to work.

Anyway, something on her site or in one of her books no doubt can help you.
http://www.awareparenting.com/ From the site: "Aware Parenting is a philosophy of child rearing that has the potential to change the world. Based on cutting-edge research and insights in child development, Aware Parenting questions most traditional assumptions about raising children, and proposes a new approach that can profoundly shift a parent's relationship with his or her child. Parents who follow this approach raise children who are bright, compassionate, competent, nonviolent, and drug free." I can't say enough about how wonderful this approach is for everyone involved.

Good luck and I'm sure you'll figure out what your little guy is trying to tell you soon.

Hi A.,
Maybe you should try fiding him earlier but still sit him down on his chair when the whole family sits down to dinner. Since he has already eating his dinner, you can just give him some Kix or cheerios or maybe pieces of bananas just to keep him busy, but this way he gets use to dinner time and you can give some attention to your daughters and husband.
It sounds as if he is making a different routine for himself since you said that he quiets down once you get him out of the chair and then feed him on your lap.
I hope this helps.

Dear A.:

It sounds like your instinct is right on! Follow it! And don't worry about disciplining a 7 month old. No need. Just love and understanding. And if it is a phase, he will grow out of it. Keep trying to put him in the high chair for dinner, keep internally balanced and clam, don't anticipate him crying, assume it will all go well! Good luck!

Andrea

Are you feeding him anything different in the PM feeding? Anything else obviously different, for example is daddy home at this feeding?

If nothing is different, I would remember that at 7 months he does not "need" solids for nutrition reasons. We give solid as training and preparation for when he does. I would go ahead and offer him the pm feeding, but if he starts crying, take him out of the high chair and consider dinner over for the night. If he really wants to eat he will quickly figure out that he needs to sit in his chair. Some babies may be just to tired by the end of the day to take the excitement of solids.

Good luck!

Ditto with Lara A! Chances are he's too tired at that point in time. Remember, he is an INFANT! No discipline--no "becoming more strict". You don't be strict with infants and babies. He's crying for a reason, not to manipulate or challenge you. Try moving his dinnertime up, and keep in minid he's still pretty young. He may not be ready to sit down in his chair for 3 meals a day....be flexible, and buy yourself a couple of good baby books. Good luck!

Remember he is only 7 months old. There is always a reason that babies cry. Take him out & feed him where he is happy. No power struggles with babies! It doesn't make sense, really! Follow your maternal instinct & let your husband keep his opinion to himself on this issue. I also highly suggest getting a book on childhood development. It will provide you & your husband with a better understanding of what is normal & why.

I have 3 children who are now 9, 7, & 4. I bit of advice to understand is that babies don't manipulate. They can't, as they don't have the developemental capability. Their tears & cries are their only form of communication until they can relate verbally.

And yes, the evenings are always the toughest time of the day. Fatigue plays a major role in moods. This continues on... Just as we adults are more tired & less patient at night!

One more thing. Dicipline & infants don't go together.

Good luck & enjoy your precious gifts from God!

There could be any number of reasons why he could be crying during his evening feed. Without being there to observe, it is hard to say so you will need to be the one to do that. Maybe he is not a big dinner eater and what you are feeding him is too much and too heavy for his taste at that time of the evening. Or maybe you are feeding him something for dinner that you don't normally serve for lunch and breakfast and he is objecting to it. Or maybe he has found that once he offers up any protests at that time, mom comes to rescue him and he can sit on mama's lap (boys are notorious mama's boys). Or maybe he is tired and you are forcing him to eat when he would rather be getting ready for bed and chilling out. What you really need to do for the next several days is trying to observe him without judgment so that you can pick up clues on what he is trying to tell you.

Sounds like he's just tired and needs a little TLC. My son wants out of his highchair too when we go out to restaurants too late & he's tired. He's now 20 months old. Don't worry. Try feeding him at 5:30 or 6:00. I used to feed my son dinner at 5 pm when he was a year old and bed was at 7 pm, now it happens a little later. 7 mo. is too early to truly discipline a baby, besides teaching them it's not okay to hit or bite, etc. (but that's not really discipline.) He just sounds tired and needs some love. :)

Hi A.:
I don't know, that I can add anything,to the many good responses you recieved here.I don't know, where (you heard) that you need to become (strict) with a seven month old baby.This is when you,as a mother,need to use your common sense,and instincts.Do you really believe, that your baby would understand,or benifit from your strictness,or disapline at this stage? Your husband,looks at his sons behavior as bad,when in fact,it is good.He is attempting to communicate his feelings to you,and his crying or fussing,are the only ways he has to do this,until he learns to speak.The question I would ask your husband, is "how would you convey A feeling to me,if you were unable to speak? I believe,the sooner its understood,that your son, (nor any other 7 month old baby),is (So Brillant)as to be striving to manipulate the two of you,the better off and less frustrated, you both will be. He is acting his age. It would appear,from your stated schedule for him, that he is still full from his last bottle,to be interested in food.He is getting tired,and close to bed time.I would give him his 4:30 bottle earlier,so he has more of an appetite at dinner.two hours between the bottle and dinner,is to close together.The hard crying,is not an (act) I would say, thats a good sign,that hes experiencing discomfort.If he hears dad,upset at his cries,he will become that much more emotional.Dinner time, is intended to be a pleasant experience. If it becomes chaotic,it could create eating problems for him later up the road. Use your motherly instincts. Take him out and comfort him. He'll let you know when hes hungry.I wish you and your darlin baby boy the best.

Could be he's tired, try feeding earlier. Maybe also try the booster seat with tray.

sounds like hes teething? babies always get fussy when teething, my first thought was that he was too tired but it could be both, best bet is to try different things and see what works best for him.

I would definitely try feeding him earlier...like 5-5:30. He could be getting too tired and too hungry by 6:30.

Always pick up a crying baby. Dinner is a fussy time for all young children. They're tired and hungry and want your attention. Make small adjustments as necessary but realize the evening fussiness will continue for the next 4 years.

Hi, A.--I'm pretty sure you are feeding him too late. I fed both my little guys by 5, even at that age. You may be lucky and have a baby that wants an early bedtime! Hope that works...they're often exhausted that time of night at that age. Hopefully sister's cool with a new routine! Best of luck...

Every baby is so different. Try starting you nightime ritual 45-60 minutes earlier, since your daughter is more evenly tempermented, she will likely go w/ the flow. You want to avoid lap-feeding for solids...it gets nearly impossible, and yes creates a terrible habit...one that unfolds into toddlers who walk around during meals and come to mommy for bites...uggh. I think your little guy is just more tired than his twin at that time. Good luck!

You may be right. He might be needing more sleep now due to a growth spurt. Sleep trumps meals in my house. When my boys are excessively tired, they won't sit through dinner either.

Discipline styles are different in my house too. My husband and I are reading "Parenting with Love & Logic" by Foster Cline, M.D. and Jim Fay. It seems to make a lot of sense to both of us. So, we're going to give it a try.

Hi A.,

Melinda S. and Julia M. have given you some good advice. I'd take another look at what they have written for you and really consider it. Enjoy your babies!

With love,
S.

A.,

My little boy started teething at around 7mos., does you little one have teeth at all? Depending on how much you are giving in the bottle you might want to cut out the 4:30pm bottle or cut down the amount you're giving him. But, feeding him earlier might be the solution to your problem. My son, was napping twice a day (up at 6am, nap at 9am and 1pm, for usually hour and half) at that age and we did dinner at 5:30pm, with a small snack after nap (half jar of baby food and teether cracker), then bath, book and lullaby and nighttime bottle at 7pm (4oz.).

While I know having twins makes it tougher, but your little boy may need an adaption to his current schedule. My son's schedule didn't last long, by 12 months he was sleeping through the night completely and off the bottle, and his naps became one long two hour nap.

As far as, discipline I totally agree with the other posters who said it's kind of early for him to be disciplined for this behavior. But, I do believe it's important to work with your husband to make sure you guys have an agreed way to deal with situations like this one so, that your son doesn't feel any tension over disagreements about paretning styles. At 7mos. my son sat in his high chair, until he was done eating and if he fussed or cried we would get out of the chair and do something else...he learned that eating was done at the table, but when they hit new developmental stages this gets challenged all over again. Like my son, at age 2 is doing now...but, as you say that is a whole other Oprah. My son's father and I disagree on parenting styles, he was raised a CIO kid and I was raised with nuturing and guidance...so, we're taking a class together at that our city offers and reading the same book so, we can have future discussions about our son and how to handle situations. Try to put aside some time when you can sit down with notes, and discuss the pros and cons of styles...ultimately no one style works for every kid. As I'm sure you're already seeing with twins.

Best of luck!

I think your thought that his PM feeding is too late is correct. Good job reading his signals!

Sounds to me like you have already answered your question. :O) He brobably does need to eat a bit earlier.
Try it for a few days and see what happens. But i agree that giving in to his behavior will make it worse. He sounds like a strong willed little boy. (mine is just like that)
But at 7 months you can't be too h*** o* him. He won't understand it.
Good luck.

1) Your Hubby needs to back off. Your son is a BABY, 7 months old! As Parents, we need to remember that it takes an ENTIRE life, for a child to "learn" about life and about "our" rules. It takes an entire life for US to teach them things. For a baby to be "disciplined" at this age..... is really jumping the gun. To me.

A Parent is either a "hammer" or a pair of wings for a child to soar with.

2) You are not doing anything "wrong." A baby is a baby... they do this.

3) Babies reject eating for various reasons: (a) they are not hungry (b) they are tired (c) they are teething (d) they are being made to eat when they don't want to (e) they have gas (f) they are not ready to eat (g) they are not at the stage when they "have" to eat 3 meals a day, like an older child. (g) perhaps 4 bites of food is ALL he can handle by the end of the day

*Also, keep in mind that for the 1st year of life... a baby's PRIMARY source of nutrition is breastmilk/formula... NOT solids.

* For a baby who is 7 months old, they are STILL adjusting to solids. AND, per my Pediatrician... eating 3 meals a day is a p-r-o-c-e-s-s.... it takes time to BUILD UP to that frequency. They don't HAVE TO have 3 meals a day... and you need to introduce it in time. Not overnight.
For some babies, intake amount varies at any given day or time of day... for some babies, eating 4 bites is enough. - "serving size" varies with each baby... it is in terms of "tablespoons" not how many "jars" they eat. A baby's stomach is tiny.

(4) There is a difference between disciplining and teaching/nurturing.... the expectations are different.

In the first scenario... it is 'expected' that the baby NOT do the 'wrong' behavior anymore. period.

In the second scenario... a baby is 'taught' boundaries... coaxed and nurtured in it... with the understanding that over time, AND age appropriately the baby will learn. Just not yet, and just not perfectly... everytime.

(5) A baby does not have impulse control... nor the abstract reasoning, at this age, to simply "stop' and understand everything and our instructions. But, over time, he/she will. A child does NOT have 'full' impulse control until about 3 years old... and even then, they will do things we don't want.

Kids will yell, tantrum, have melt-downs, reject things, etc. no matter what age. BUT, as it is appropriate for their age and stage of development.... you instill boundaries in them.

(6) Your baby is simply communicating. In the way that is for their age. And they should be "allowed" to express "frustration" as well... they need to learn that communicating is okay... many times it is us that don't understand THEM.

(7) I suggest teaching him 'sign language'.... so that YOU and he can communicate and express himself in a way that is more palpable. And of course, allow for a learning curve...

(8) Each child is different in temperament and personality. Some more strong willed than others. But at this age, yes may yell and cry or reject things. I really don't think, Hubby should 'expect' him to just silence himself at will and sit there and eat... or like a much older child.

Get a book...."what to expect the first year" by Arlene Eisenberg for example. Then, per each age stage... their behavior will make more sense to you... and bring on tips.

Good luck,

It may just be too late for his dinner. Once my son passes his bewitching hour, he get's really cranky. Try moving it to 5:45pm or 6pm to see what happens-www.weelicious.com

Hi...
well, may be he's just tired towards the end of the day.. may be overwhelmed... i know mine was a terrible eater throughout the day, so i'm not sure why yours is doing it at night... what did work for me, was a booster chair... it strapps on to a regular chair, has a trey, and gives him a little change.. try it, may be it'll work for you... i switched mine at about a year, because he completelly refused his high chair, and the booster did wonders for us... it made him feel like a big boy.. and since you have 2, may be one can be in a high chair and the other in a booster, and then both... eventually, we all have to switch to it, so why wait?... try.. its inexpensive, $30... worse comes to worse, save it for later... good luck

When you took him out the first time it can become a habbit. My oldest slept with us when she was young and we had a hard time breaking it(years and many beds). We said we would never do it to another child. Our second slept in her own crib always and one day my friend took my oldest to school so me and my 18 month old layed in my bed watching T.V. and fell asleep and that night she refused to go to sleep in her bed and cried for 2 weeks but we held tough and got through it for her sake in two weeks instead of years. Always check to make sure the kids are not sick, hungry, dirty or tired ect. before you stand your ground because that would be just cruel if their may be another reason beside just wanting their way.(So try feeding earlier first) Always do what is best for your child not what is easier for you or doesn't break your heart. How can teaching your child and making him a better happier person break your heart. A mother never wants to see their child cry but they will rule your life trust me. I see many parents say thay didn't let me or I couldn't and the child is 2 what will they be like at 16. I have seen kids in my daycare that are happy all day because I set rules and stick to them so they know what is expected and if rules are broken what will happen. When with their parents they whine all day because they know they will end up getting what they want but you have had hours of whining all day for everything how is that healthy for you child. (kids normally act better with others then with parents but this is a different situation)I know parents that 3 year olds will sit in the front seat of a car not in a seat belt let alone a car seat because that is the only way they let dad bring them when mom can't or have to wait to get medicine with me because the child would not let them give it to them and they start leaving them later and later because it is just easier with out them and give in to cries because it's just easier for the parent. How can that be good for a child? Or parent in the long run. So are you ready to start having to explain he won't let me sit him in his high chair for dinner and all the other situation that will arise because if you take the easy way out for your hearts sake you will have many. Also never say sorry to your child for having to discipline your child because they think you did something wrong not them that's what we teach them to say sorry when they have done something wrong. But always say sorry if you made a mistake or said or did something because you where having a bad day and normally would not have reacted that way because we all are human and get overwhelmed and explain to them if old enough. Nobody said raising kids was easy just rewarding if done right. Best of luck and you and your husband have to be on the same page when it comes to the kids. A united front

The fact that you are concerned about your son and his dinner time behavior is proof to me that you aren't doing anything wrong. Take some time to figure out if he is not hungry, too hungry, too tired to be interested in eating or even something like needing Daddy time or cuddle time. Kids change and grow so fast! Some times it just takes a little drama while you adjust to a developmental change. You probaly shouldn't worry about discipline too much at this age. Usually redirection and showing the desired behavior works.

It sounds to me like he is probably tired. If he is anything like my babies when they were 7 mos old, late afternoon before bedtime was a fussy time of day. I would feed him solids with the bottle at 4:30. At this age, we usually had "dinner" (bottle and solids) around 4 pm, and we would often take a walk before bedtime. With my first baby especially, that was helpful for the fussy time of day, then bottle and bed at 7 pm. Even now, at 3 1/2 and 2 years old, my boys have trouble eating if they are overtired (if I am late with lunch for my 2 year old - he will cry and cry, and usually the only comfort for him is to be in his bed so he can go to sleep, even without any food! I feel so awful for him, but he is so tired he can't eat). That's just my take on it.

It may also simply be a phase, but I lean more toward the overtired possibility. I can understand that you don't want to take him out of the chair everytime and form a habit with that. I'm sure mealtimes can be challenging enough with twins, you don't need more challenges! I don't think this is really a discipline issue since it only happens at this one time of day. If it was at every mealtime, then you would probably have an issue of training him how mealtime works in your family, but since it is only this time of day, there is probably an underlying reason for it and I'm sure you will be able to figure it out and fix the problem.

And as for the disagreements with your husband over discipline, I feel your pain! My husband and I have taken some parenting classes together and read books, and we agree on everything in theory, but when it comes to practice, sometimes we don't see things the same way and it is really hard! Having children has definitely presented a lot more challenges for us as a couple. I hope you two are able to find some common ground and try to spend most of your time there. Disagreements will come, but hopefully they will be minimal.

Best wishes to you!

Hi A., I agree with your husband, taking him out, is creating a bad habit, of course he's going to start crying, cause mom is going to take him out. When he cries, continuer to feed your daughter, when he stops crying feed him, but while he's acting up, give his sister the attention, and he will soon learn that crying does not get you the attention. J. L.