Need Help Getting 8 Month Old to Sleep Through the Night.

Updated on August 08, 2008
L.W. asks from La Verne, CA
29 answers

I still breastfeed my 8 month old one time during the night. Now that he can stand up in his crib, he wakes up and cries a lot more than he used to. We usually just walk in to his room, lay him down and walk out. But, it seems he is figuring out that he can get us in there but doing that. I am hoping to get him sleeping through the night, but I need to overcome the last nighttime feed and the standing obstacles. He goes to sleep between 6 and 7, so is it realistic to expect a breastfed to be able to go 12-13 hours without eating? He is eating solids 3 times a day, but not always a full serving. Are there any tips anyone can offer besides shutting the door and letting him cry it out for a few days? Is that the best method?

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P.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

he has trained you nicely........he cries and you come.
Truly the best is to retrain let him cry it should take about three nights good luck

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T.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

8 months is still neededing to be either breast fed or bottle fed will he take a bottle of anything else like a little juice & water, maybe he is wet.. that is a long time to go with out something in his tummy after all they dont eat much, my opinion he still could use the milk, you might try giving him some rice ceral before bed, or at least 30 to 60 mins before bed then offer half a bottle see if this helps reice ceral always makes their tummys full.

Good Luck

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M.S.

answers from San Diego on

12 to 13 hours is much too long for your 8 month old to go without eating, or going without being with you. My babies all nursed about every 3-4 hours during the night. I think you are LUCKY! He is such a young baby & he needs his mommy. I think we moms sometimes get so focussed on separating from our babies when we should embrace the time together. Hold him & cuddle him & feed him when he needs you during the night. A part of being a mommy is being tired, the two hand-in-hand! I have three children & they all went through being awake off & on through the night. Never did I let them cry it out (why?), and they all eventually slept through the night - no unkindness involved. A baby that age doesn't understand & doesn't intentionally manipulate. Read up on child development & you will learn that. The more you learn about development the more comfortable & understanding you'll become of your precious-one & his needs.

Good luck & enjoy your precious gift from God!

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L.A.

answers from San Diego on

No! Crying it out is the WORST method you could use. Don't do it. Your son means far more to you than that. How lucky for you that you only nurse once a night at 8 months! You should consider yourself fortunate. All four of mine nursed several times a night at that age. Your son isn't being manipulative, he is seeking the comfort and security of his parents, and specifically, of his mother. Remember, having babies and small children sleep in a room alone is a very new concept, and only practiced in a few cultures. In other cultures it is viewed as nothing less than child neglect. Hard to hear, but a fact, nonetheless. It is not realistic to expect your son to go 12-13 hours without nursing, although the cry-it-outers will try to tell you differently. They try to recruit others in order to make themselves feel better about their own selfish decision. You are a mommy now, and motherhood is 24/7. Listen to your heart. Your mother's instinct tells you that letting him cry it out is not the right thing to do. Your son needs to know you are there for him when he needs you. A little lost sleep is a small price to pay to have a well-adjusted, emotionally secure son who knows he is loved and cared for, even at night.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

You said you "still breastfeed my 8 month old one time during he night..." THIS is pretty darn good. THIS is normal.

"Still." Yes, a baby "still" needs to feed, and especially when they are going through growth spurts, they get more hungry and need to feed. With breastfeeding, it digests faster. This is normal.

I think is causes more stress on the parents, when they "expect" the baby to sleep through the night. Babies go through LOTS of phases... developmentally, and this changes their sleep habits, and hunger patterns. They WILL wake. For me, with both my kids, I nursed on demand, as they needed it. But each parent is different. There are lots of different reactions to a baby's needs.

At 8 months, your baby is now standing up... this is normal. THey are changing, their skills are changing, and this is how the "practice" their skills, even though we want them to sleep. Yes, they even do it in their cribs whenever. This is normal too. Yes, they do not yet know how to adjust themselves, or how to sit back down nicely, much less "how" to put themselves back into a nice little prone sleep position by themselves. So, yes, you need to wake up, and help them until they learn how and this "phase" passes.

Both my kids did this, each time they hit another developmental change or milestone. They will cry more because they need help to lie down again. Or, you just let him cry and cry...but that does not mean he will "know" how to sit back down, lie down, in perfect sequence, and go back to sleep. It's not on purpose....it's just their developing skills and abilities blossoming. Hooray! LOL. Yes, but it means we have to wake up for them.

Going 12-13 hours without nursing seems like a long time to me.

Keep in mind, that for the 1st year of life... breastmilk/formula is the PRIMARY source of nutrition for a baby. Not solids. If you breastfeed "after" solids, this is done to "wean" the baby and it can affect your milk supply... and it makes them too full to nurse afterwards...thus lessening their nursing and your supply. I recommend nursing "before" solids.. and then wait about 1/2 hour or less, then give him his solids "meal."

ALso, a "full serving" of solids is different for each baby. They all have different appetites and eat varying amounts each time, or each day. Just like adults. Our appetites fluctuate.

If you choose to let him cry it out... each parent is different. Basically, crying it out makes them fall asleep because it tires them out so much, that they pass out. Then they learn that they won't get help or a response. So they give up. BUT...if they are waking because of developmental changes and skills... for me, I went in and helped them get back to sleep. Sleep patterns are not static... they change. But you can teach them ALSO to self-soothe. But sometimes a baby is simply "stuck" standing up and don't know how to get back down or help themselves. Thus they cry for you and genuinely need help.

My son, by that age, he liked having stuffed animals in his crib.. it helped him to sleep, he loves his stuffed cow to cuddle and sleep with... and he self-soothes this way, and then falls asleep. But it takes time. He also goes through times of difficulty falling asleep when he is changing developmentally... but it's temporary.

All the best,
Susan

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C.P.

answers from San Diego on

Hey L.,
I'll bet you will find others that say you should let him cry it out, but I could never do that. Just felt like it would teach a kind of inhumanity that may not be right. If the child was just manipulating for the heck of it, maybe...but he probably really is hungry. I nursed both my sons, one now 22 years old and the younger is 5 years. They were both extremely avid nursers, so from my experience nursing one time a night is very reasonable.
Some people stuff the kid with cereal and 'cause that digests so slowly, they sleep longer without waking up. If you were to try that, going with a whole grain cereal, like brown rice, would make the most sense because it is less likely to cause a fast rise then drop in blood sugar (often causing wake up) and is rarely a cause of food sensitivity reaction.

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M.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Everyone has a different opinion about this. I breastfed (still do)my son and did not stop night-time nursing until he was 12 months old. I think 12-13 hrs. without eating is too long for an 8 mo. old who breastfeeds because they process the breastmilk faster than they would formula. I'm sure many will disagree with me. I think sleep is the most challenging part of parenting, but it gets better as they get older & you implement gentle changes.

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J.M.

answers from Honolulu on

I can't believe he is only eating/waking once! I think that you should consider yourself lucky. It could also be teething. My son is also 8 months and also sleeps 12 hours. We have him in our bed and I breastfeed him about 4 times in that period. Just to give you something to compare to. Like the other woman said too, they eat so little and 12 hours is a really long time. If you want to try an experiment, try feeding him more during the day?

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C.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

GREAT job nursing, keep it up!They all go through that once they can stand up. It took my son about 3 weeks of up & down, then he finally got good at laying back down on his own, the novelty wore out. I just went in, layed him down w/o talking or feeding and he did fine. They're not hungry, just playing with their new skill.

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H.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I think it may be uncommon for an 8 month old to go 12-13 hrs without feeding.Breast milk digests so quicky. If he is waking you to nurse my feeling is he probably needs it.By following his cues you are meeting his needs. It seems that letting him cry it out may only cause him to not trust that mommy is there for him! It's so grest that you are nursing. eventually he will sleep through the night!! At 8 mos I was probably nursing my daughter every three hours. She was eating some solids,but WAY more into getting her nourishment from me. Did you know a baby can thrive the entire first year on breastmilk alone! Amazing what our bosies can do. Keep up the good work!!! Best, H.

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L.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

My guess is he's doing this because he's used to being fed during the night. I listened to my moms advice and stopped feeding my daughter in the middle of the night when she turned 2 months old. She is 3 1/2 now, not to say that she sleeps throught the night, she doesnt. Usually she eats at 7:30 and is asleep by 8. Then sometime between 11-12 either she wakes up on her own or i wake her and give her a snack after which she passes right back to sleep. The next time I feed her is 6am. She wakes up sometimes around 4 or 5am, and i just keep giving her a pacifier and putting her back to sleep, sometimes she goes back to sleep, sometimes she doesnt, but either way she doesnt get any food until 6am. I think its sorta working because at first she would wake up at 1am and 4am and now she only wakes up once.

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M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Yes, you are very lucky. Both of mine nursed every 1-1.5hours throught the night until they were night weaned at 2 years old. I think your son is going through two things and they are seperate. Even if you weren't nursing, he'd be pulling himself up and standing and maybe even waking more than usual. He is testing out his new skills and will be walking soon. I also think 12-13 hours is a long time for an 8mos old to go w/out eating, shoot, I can't go that long and last I checked, I stopped growing!! LOL I wouldn't shut the door on him and make him cry. Yes, he will eventually stop crying but only because he learned that you aren't coming, so why bother to cry? Both of my kids never cried themselves to sleep, they are 3 & 5 and since night weaning, go to bed at the same time every night w/no battle's at all and sleep a good 11-12 hours. You'll hear both opinions here at Mamasource, those who let the kids cry it out believe in it just as much as the Momma's who don't let their kids cry it out. I may not agree w/CIO, but I don't judge those who do it. Everyone's situation is different, you do what is best for your family.
Best wishes,
M.

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L.G.

answers from Los Angeles on

I have to say I tried everything and letting my daugther cry it out for four nights/days was simply the only thing that worked. It was a bad habit that had to be broken. When they know we come running they keep doing it :) How are his naps?? You have to add up the time he sleeps during the day to find out if 12-13 hours is realistic. If at all possible try to nurse him before bedtime and wait until 7:30 or 8pm. They do NOT really need the feeding in the middle of the night at that age. Nurse him around 8pm and then early in the morning if he is an early riser - he may snooze for another hour or so. Most importantly you have to do what you feel is best for you.
I let her cry for 4 nights and it did the trick for me. She now sleeps from 8pm to 7-7:30am. I have to say she only cried for maybe 15 min. the first night and after that maybe 10 and then 5. Some go on for much longer which may be a sign that it is not the right thing for them.
Good luck

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M.P.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

L.,
I started feeding my daughter a lot more during the day about every 2 hours or so. She ate less but it seens to help her sleep through the night. I tried all the methods to help her sleep but letting her cry it out was the only one that worked for me. My daughter goes to sleep around 7:30 pm which works for her. Her pediatrician said to try to keep her up until then so she will be tired and it seems that that is her routine now.

M. P

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E.N.

answers from San Diego on

I think he should be able to go all night without needing nutrition if he is getting enough during the day (and he probably is). I'll share what I did with my babies: bedtime was at 7 pm, then I would wake the baby and feed him before I went to bed at about 10/11 pm. The baby would then sleep until morning (about 7 am) and hubby and I could get uninterrupted sleep. It worked great with both of my babies. We started doing this very early on and I was able to drop that last feeding when they were about 5 months old and they would sleep right through until morning.

If he is waking from hunger (or you're not sure - mine had a unique "hungry" whimper in the night), then this routine might appeal to you, and you might be able to get a full night's sleep. This might also help his body adjust gradually to sleeping for longer periods. Then in a month or two (or more depending on when you feel he is ready), you could stop that late evening feeding and there is a good chance he will sleep right through until morning.

If you want to let him cry it out, when there was crying involved with sleep training at our house, we used a 15-minute rule-of-thumb. If the baby cried for 15 minutes, one of us would go in, pat the baby (not picking him up - maybe caress his back and give him a kiss if he is standing) make sure all is well and say "I love you" and "it's time for sleep."

You might want to check out one of the sleep training aids that other moms have recommended for more thorough advice and planning. I think there are some great programs out there from what I have heard from other moms here.

You may get some criticism for even considering letting your baby cry, but you are the mommy and you get to choose how you want to parent your child and what works for your unique family. You're doing a great job! And I hope you find the answers you need!

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M.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi L.,
I had many problems with my baby girls sleeping pattern. She would wake up many times a night and cry. To make a long story short, I HAD to let her cry it out. I just wasn't going to let her do it anymore. I was so tired. (not to mention waking everyone up in the house) So, I let her cry it out for a few days. Of course I would check on her the first time she cries out, but I stopped at 2 times. Within a few days she was only waking up 1 time a night. Now she is 15 months old and she wakes up at 5:00 am (like clock work) and I bring her into my bed until she wakes up again. (usually btwn 6:30and 7:15am) So it worked out for me. (the crying it out method)
She recently started to wake up in the middle of the night, (I felt a tooth coming in) and had to let her cry for a while until she fell a sleep. I hate it, but the method works for her. She picks up fast that I'm not coming back in and falls asleep.
Believe me, I understand how difficult it is to hear your baby cry. But, as long as you know he is safe and has a clean diaper, there is nothing else you can do for him. He needs to learn to fall asleep on his own.
Good luck to you!
____@____.com

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J.L.

answers from San Diego on

Hi L., at 8 months old he should be having dinner at night a cup with something to drink, he's not an infant, infant, if you know what i mean, give him food. And don't go in the room to lay him down, if you keep going in there, he will keep waking up. Alm ost every mamasolurce i have read about babies not sleeping through the night, have been breast feed babies. If he is eating solids 3 times a day, what kinds of solids, he should be having dinner in the highchair the same time you all are having dinner, and then a snack before bed time, i would say a bottle, but you are not using bottles. At 8 months old he should be able to use a cup, give him a drink but n ot from your breast. J.

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K.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

We had to let our daughter cry it out. The first night was an HOUR. The second night less by the third night she slept thru. We were putting her down for the night at around 8pm though, that might make a difference. According to my doctor, if they are eating, they really don't need that night time feeding. I stopped my night feeding earlier... around 7 mos. Hope this helps. It is awful when they cry but, it was the only thing that worked for us.

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L.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Dear L.,

I am not an expert by any means as I am currently sleep training my 7 week old daughter. I've been using the "Sleep Lady's" Good Night, Sleep Tight book. We are a little ahead of schedule and my little one is doing very well. Our bedtime feeding is around 8 or 9 pm at which time we get her to sleep by 9:30 or so. (We are working on crib training as she has outgrown her basinette and we are trying to cut down naps in the swing.) I feed her at 11pm again to top her off for the night. When placing her in her crib we try to get her sleepy, but not completely out so that she learns to self sooth and go back to sleep when she wakes at night. You need to make sure that he learns how to do this, otherwise he will not fall back asleep. Ours will sleep anywhere from 6 to 8 hours at this time, although we are still dealing with fussyness till 1am sometimes. Last night I tricked her by feeding her at 9pm and then I woke her at 12 for a 10 minute snack. She was zonked out till 9am.

I think that your little one should definitely be able to go at least 8 hours without eating at night. He has got you figured out and is using you to comfort himself. Take a look at the book and find the chapter with your age after you read the first 40 pages. If my girl wakes after falling asleep and cries hard I rock her a bit until she stops crying, I put her down and then soothe her through her little crying (not hard just tired crying) until she is able to fall asleep again. I put a barstool next to the crib and I drape my arm over the side into the crib. I rub her belly and wipe her tears. This way she knows that I am here for her and that she is safe.

I hope some of this helps.

Good Luck,
L.

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D.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

My babies slept through the night early and it was all because of routine.I nursed all 4 of my babies. If he wakes up, go in and check on him. If he has a wet diaper, change it. Then lay him down. Rub his back while you sing him a song.Then tell him he will eat again in the morning. His body has to make a new habit of not eating in the middle of the night. Stick to it and then you will have your nights back very soon. It takes 21 days to make a new habit. You need your sleep too!! D.

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J.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

I disagree with those who say CIO is cruel. I HIGHLY recommend Dr. Ferber's book, too. It is a modified CIO method. The book is an easy read, and really works. I used it for both my daughters around 8-9 months old. It is hard and you will hate to hear you lil one cry, but it's so worth it!! It worked for me in 3 nights with both girls. Honestly, it's the best thing I've ever done for myself and my girls!! They are now 2 and 4 and since Ferber, have gone to sleep on their own with no crying and have slept through the night every night (with the exception of being sick). Everyone comments on how well my girls go to bed at their bedtimes...even when we travel. Since my daughters were 9 months old, we have our routine: drink milk, snuggle blankie, sing songs, and get put in their beds awake. IT WORKS!!

Ferber's method teaches a healty attachment to going to bed AWAKE, self soothing, etc. It also talks about eliminating night feedings.

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L.T.

answers from San Diego on

Hi L.,
I know you already have many replies so I will try to keep this brief. I have concluded that every child is so different and no particular rule, method, expectation or otherwise may be the right one for them . I am a breast feeding mom too. And my experience has been totally different for each child. My son continued to wake at least once to nurse until he was 13 months old, my daughter (now almost 8 months) has been sleeping through the night (~6:30/7:00 p.m to 6:30 a.m) since 5 1/2 months. The only thing I think I'm doing different w/ my daughter is making sure she has a good dinner before nursing before bedtime. She also eats more food during the day than my son did...but she is just slightly smaller than her brother at the same age. Different kids, different needs... hopefully you can just go with the flow for your son for now. Each phase comes and goes and gets replaced by yet a new one. Good luck!!

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T.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems by Richard Ferber. (http://www.amazon.com/Solve-Your-Childs-Sleep-Problems/dp...)

Great book and helped us tremendously. Helps your child learn to fall asleep on his/her own yet doesn't make them feel insecure about mama and daddy abandoning him/her.

Our children are almost grown now and secure and kind and responsible. We are a tight knit family bonded in the Lord.

Treasure your little one, they grow way too fast. Days may be long but the years are very short.

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J.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi L.:
In my opinion it is not realistic to expect your son to go that long without being fed,and CIO is benificial to one and (ONLY ONE) the mother,who doesn't feel like answering their babies needs.The best to you and your darlin boy.

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I.T.

answers from Bakersfield on

L.,

My opinion is that 12 hours is too long for any 8-month-old baby to go without eating, but especially for a breastfed baby. Breastmilk is so easily digestible that they get hungry more often. My daughter used to sleep up to 6 hours when she was a baby, but as she's gotten older, she has to eat every 1.5-4 hours every night.

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K.D.

answers from San Diego on

Here's my suggestion - first off, try putting him to bed between 7-8. Once he's down,that's it. Leave him cry for 1/2 hour. It will seem like forever, but trust me. My brother gave me the same advice and it worked. If after 1/2 hour he's still crying, do what you've been doing - go in, make sure he's okay, lay him back down and leave. When we did this with our son he cried about 15 minutes the first night, 10 the second, and never woke up during the night again. But you have to be consistent.

Good luck!~

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B.B.

answers from San Diego on

An 8 month old can sleep 12-13 hours without eating. My DD has been doing this since 5 months old and is healthy and thriving. My doctor had good advice....give a bottle of pumped breast milk at the middle of the night feeding. Then when he realizes he won't get the breast, he will eventually wean that feeding on his own. Also, start with 6 oz, then 4, then 2 until he eventually tapers off. Another suggestion my doctor gave us was to give water only in the middle of the night, so that he is not used to getting the substance from milk. We never really had to let her cry it out. Good luck!

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J.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

I swear my pediatrician said this..."If I told you to wake up every morning at 1:00AM to get a hundred bucks...you'd wake up to get your money, wouldn't you?" She then went on to tell me that there is no physiological reason that he NEEDED to eat during the night- that he had plenty of reserves and would be fine. By the waym this conversation was at his 6 month apt. He has been sleeping through the night (every night) since about 6.5 months when we decided it was the best thing for ALL of us (he is nine mopnths now). He goes down at about 7:00PM and wakes at about 6:30ish. You can do it. He can do it. It is a skill we all need to learn, how to fall back asleep in the night- the sooner the better. Good luck.

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