My 4 year old seems like she has been potty training forever. She started when she was about 2 and a half. Sometimes she does fine for weeks or months at a time then all of a sudden seems like she totally forgot what she is supposed to do. I think it is just laziness because she can go to daycare for a full 8 hours and not go in her pants at all then as soon as she gets home she pees in her pants. She uses the potty at daycare and if I remind her first thing in the morning to not forget to go on the potty then she seems to do better. I know she is capable of doing it I just dont know what to do to make her keep doing it. I tried rewarding, i tried bribing i tried punishing and just completely ignoring that she went in her pants... any suggestions please.. I am sooo sick of doing laundry. lol thank you for any help any one can offer. =)
Hello,
I Don;t know if this would help or not but my best friend did this with her son when he wet his pants she would take his favorite toy away or sometimes tell him when he wanted to get a new toy from the toy store he could untill he stopped wetting him self or she would used you can;t have ice cream or anything for dessert that night, untill he showed her he can tell her he had to go. It took about a month and he never did it again .
Hi A., A well known and respected pediatrian Dr. Terry Brazelton (he's the Dr. Spock of our day) says that children regress in one area just before they demonstrate a growth spert in another area, he says this often happens with potty training and especially around the 4 year old age. Ups and downs with potty training are totally normal and expected with many children. It can also be a sign of psychological difficulties- either way don't be too h*** o* her, she will be fine with it in the long run, Maybe just give her pull ups over her underwear until this seems to even back out. Try putting her to bed a little earlier too. Do not punish her or call her lazy. Maybe she is just tired at the end of the day.
A.,
Here is an idea for you to try, I have not used this idea for avoiding accidents but I used it to get my boys (4.5 and almost 3) to sleep in their own beds at night and all night. Tape a calendar of whatever month it is on her bedroom door or the fridge, anywhere that is it visible in your house and when she is home remind her in the morning to be a big girl and use the potty everytime she needs to go, soundsl ike you have been doing this already and if she goes all day with dry panties give her a sticker to put on the calendar for that day. Explain to her ahead of time that after she gets so many stickers in a row she get something (use something that she likes, a new doll, barbie, ice cream) does not have to be latge or expensive. Remind her regularly that she gets this treat for being a big girl and using the potty. When we did this with our boys if they slept in the beds all night for a week straight we would take them to the video store and they got to pick out a movie and we would have movie night as a family. It worked very well, within a few weeks they were staying in their beds all night, every night! Hopes this works for you.
Hi A.,
I can some what relate to what you are going through. I have a 3 1/2 old boy and when my daughter was born (he was 2 at the time and had been trained for about 6 months) he completely went backwards. It seems as if the new baby and possibly lack of attention made him regress (which we tried our hardest not to make him feel left out). Point is they sometimes do that for attention. What has changed at home or why would she be trying to get your attention? Or, it might just be a phase.
On another note I read that you work at home for a health discount company? Could you tell me more about that? I'm a working mom and am looking into working from home. Anyway good luck we all need it right? Take care
Maybe she is struggling with giving up her babyhood and the attention that comes with that.
Ignore the potty failure and clean her up playfully asking her to help you with it.....stop the bribing, stop the punishment and don't get into struggles with her about it at all. She already understands what the potty is for. I tend to think she is using the potty issue to get more attention from you even if it's negative attention. Give her more positive attention when she is home....more cuddles etc. When SHE is ready she'll make you proud.
Hi A., I know how frustrating that is because it happened to me many years ago. My second son was fully trained and he started to revert when his little sister was over a year old. We went to a psychologist who said I should make believe I was training the little girl. Seemed he wanted more attention from me and thought diaper change was it(or my reaction to peeing or pooping in his pants) Hope this helps. She is obviously ready if she can hold it all day in day care. Best wishes, Grandma Mary
Hi A., I have 3 girls as well! My youngest is going to be 3 in Sept and she is confusing me too! One day she goes all day with no potty, then the next day she cries for her diaper. I just let her be herself and follow her lead because each child has a personality of their own.
If your daughter is the youngest, maybe it's the same as my daughter, she knows she's the youngest and just lets us all focus on her!! :) (Little HAM!!)
If she is not the youngest, she may be doing it for attention...
This too shall pass, you're doing great. If anything, ask your doctor, but I honestly think it's okay.... not a problem.
All my best,
L. A.
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I had a similar problem w/ my son and wetting to bed. It would get very frustrating that he would come in and wake me up to change the sheets. He was older than 4 so he was capable of doing it himself. It was a short stage, but frustrating.
During a counciling session for his ADHD the councilor told me let him change the sheets AND do the laundry. He did the mess let him clean it. You may be thinking, she is 4, how can I do that. I have a friend I worked with and her 5 yr old was doing her own laundry! I was amazed as my 7 and 9 yr old werent. So we have them bring down the dirty clothes, show them how to put in detergent, turn it on, put in the clothes and even put them in the dryer, fold and put them away.
If she has to do it all, just possibly that may work. Make sure your explaining that its not healthy for her body to hold it in and it could make her ill, therefore if she chooses to mess in her pants, she will have to clean up the mess.
Kids are smarter than we give them credit and at times need to get all the information so they can see the big picture.
Best of luck.
How old are your other two children? If they are younger, maybe she is feeling left out, let her help with change time. Also at the daycare, are there any children in her class that get changed? (diapers or pullups) Sometimes to get attention, older children will revert. My niece is 3 and she has been potty trained since she was 1 1/2. When my sister went back to work and put her in daycare, she did the same thing? My sister got Kandoo wipes and a step stool for her to use in the bathroom that were just for her. I'm not sure if you've tried this already. Hope this helps.
