My 25 Month Old Son Is into Barbie Dolls...

No worries...we all played with Barbie. I was still a tom-boy, and he can be a tom-girl. I think that us grown ups think about it a little too much. They just want to play with people and later on, he can learn the difference. How great that you have them for him to play with.

Relax, he is only 2. You are reading between the lines way too much. At least he is interested in something.

I think at such a young, it is sooo nothing to worry about. He has no idea what body image is about. What he doing is role playing with the dolls in a way in a world that he understands. His facination is with you his mother and the impact you have on him. You should listen to here what he is saying as he plays or what the dolls are doing. He probably is just playing house, acting out discipline, and other things he experiences. He is just trying to relate. both my kids 3 & 5 are always pretending everything is mommy and daddy. especially between big objects and smaller

I remember when the Bratz doll came out. I would not let my oldest daughter look twice at one. I mean it game the wrong message, and all that stuff.
Well, years later and many children latter I now look at that stuff so differently.
My oldest daughter is now 23 and has tattoos and piercings, and well is more like a bratz doll that I ever wanted. Yet she never played with one.
Move forward and my parenting style has changed alot. My 11 year old has played with bratz, I even bought her a bed set, and other stuff that was bratz.
My youngest does not want tattoos, she would like to heave her ears pierced, but her dress and that is anything but bratz.

Having raised 3 boys who are now 19, 17, and 15 I found that they treat women the way my hubby treats me. I have one son that wanted to play with barbies. He liked to play dress up, and to play with makeup. He is my actor.
You set the mood, standard, and expectations at the parent. Remember that kids will copy what they see you do.

I look at little boys liking to play with dolls is because they want to be more like mom. Mom is a girl, she plays with babies, She gets to dress up and look pretty.

Good luck

Well, the only thing I can offer is this: How many toys are there that ARE realistic? My two year olds don't differentiate between things that are unrealistic and things that are realistic. It's not even on their respective radars. If my sons went gaga over Barbie dolls, I'd indulge them. (I figure they are toddlers. Let them have fun) I'm confident that all three of my boys will darn sure grow up to respect and admire strong, intelligent, educated women (just like their daddy does!).

In the meantime, I'm actually more concerned about how boys and men are treated in the commercial and academic realm. Every time I turn the tv on, it seems as though there is a lazy, foolish, etc. man who is providing the comic relief for a woman who is treating him with exasperation or disrespect. (The yogurt commercial where the wife is talking about "key lime pie, etc." while her hubby is rummaging through the fridge just came on.) And don't get me started on how boys (who tend to be considerably more physical and hands on than the average girl) have been treated in the school systems around this country. Yikes!

I promise - you are handling it fine---. Having worked with little guys - at home and in preschool - for over 40 years - I PROMISE - he's NOT displaying an interest in being Casanova- the dolls say something completely '''OTHER ''' to him- and no, I don't know what it is- but since it bothers you ( VERY understandable) -- one by one let 'em get lost - toys get lost all the time - and when you can- substitute more realistic dolls -- very likely he loves the hair -- and Ken doesn't work cause he has a buzz cut -- Toddlers LOVE different textures - and that may be the 'deal' about why these are so attractive to him. You sound like a FANTASTIC Mom-- All be well---

Many blessings,
J.

Wow, that would give me the heebie-jeebies too, even if my little blonde girl was playing with Barbies. But I have to agree with Peg M., I don't see any major developmental thing going on here. It's a toy he finds attractive, and he likes to have as many as possible (my girl never says no to yet another little horse).

All toys these days seem to be distortions, although the hyper gender distortions bother me the most. It seems like gender roles are on a backlash these days, more rigid than in the 70s and 80s.

The fact that you are thinking about these issues leads me to not worry much about your little guy. He will be lucky to grow up in such a household.

You've gotten some really great advice here. I have to agree with the person who said, "If you resist, they persist." I think the bigger deal you make of it, the more your son will want the Barbies. That said, you are an amazing, thoughtful mom for considering this issue.

On a personal note, my mom did not allow Barbies in our house when I was growing up. If I was given one as a b-day gift from a friend, a week or so later, it would "mysteriously" disappear. I still remember feeling sad that my toy had been "lost" (at this time though I was probably about 8 yrs old). My mom has since fessed up to removing the Barbies from our house shortly after I received them. My mom also did not allow my brother to have guns, GI Joes, or war toys in the house, and my brother was a HUGE Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan! Go figure.

Anyways, while I was growing up, my mom consistently explained to me that Barbies were not a realistic representation of women which was why she disapproved. As I grew up, when I went to friends' houses, all I wanted to play with was their Barbies. My friends would say, "Let's go outside." And I'd say, "No, Let's play Barbies." My fascination with Barbies lasted much longer (like until I was 12) than my friends' (I'd say they pretty much outgrew them by age 9 or 10). This is why I say that if you resist, they will persist.

Of course, now that I'm a mom, I completely understand my mom's wish to not allow Barbies. I'm not sure what I'll do about allowing Barbies or GI Joes in my home. Maybe allowing just a few? It's a tough call, but I think with your son being only 2, he's just at a developmental stage of being attached to one toy. And as mentioned, I'd keep an eye on how he's playing with the barbies.

Good luck, and again, I think the very fact that you are concerned about the issue of women's representation and how your son will relate to women as an adult, shows what a great, intelligent mom you are! Your son is blessed to have you for his mommy!

Charlene,

Yours must be one of my favorite posts ever! You are a super-funny and intelligent writer!

My personal opinion is that you shouldn't worry. My younger brother (much older than your son at the time)enjoyed playing Barbies with me, and I believe it had no lasting effect. I think.

BTW, I feel similarly to you about the unrealistic image these doll portray, and I encourage my daughter to play with other dolls such as American Girls and Groovy Girls. She has a few Barbies from her aunt, but, at 7 1/2, she's just not really interested in them.

Good luck! I think he'll get over his "fixation" eventually. My daughter and certain toys were inseparable at age 2.

M.

Charlene,

I honestly wouldn't worry too much about this issue right now. Your son is two years old, and most likely won't remember playing with Barbie when he's a teen and into girls. Yes, Barbie is an unrealistic portrayal of the female, but it's also been around forever.

Maybe change barbie for bratz or trollz (sp?)? My son is 5 and into transformers, my daughter is 18 months and into whatever her brother is doing.

Yes, it's a little freaky right now, a little disturbing, but I don't think that your son will be the Casanova that you fear. Just remember to have conversations with him when he's older about respecting women for who they are, and instill your own values in him that you want him to have.

Best of luck,
Hope this helps,
Melissa

He's 2; let it go. You're overthinking the situation. (I, too, abhor Barbies, although it has more to do with all teh tiny little accessories that come along with the deal.) When you really think about it the idea that a toy could outweigh your influence and example, especially at this age, is really not giving yourself much credit.

Just make sure his "interactions" with the Barbies are acceptable. Teach him how to treat the ladies :) That goes for all pretend play really; not just Barbies. Your modeling what a woman truly is is way more important than which doll he chooses to play with at 2.

Save all this angst for when he's 15! :)

I have a daycare that i have some dolls like that but they are not Barbie. Barbie is coming out with or maybe already has come out with a more realistic version. she is more chunky and less bustier and more realistic to what women really ooklike. Seems you were not the first one to not want your son/daughter to get an unrealistic view of women.
all of my daycare boys at sometime want to play with the Barbie dolls...Ihave one that wants to play dress up and although I have many dress-up things for the boys, he insists on wearing this one skirt. He loves the high heels. I always go and offer him the swat team outfit or the doctor outfit to no success of mine. His Mom said oh don'tworry about it. He just sees his sister play dress up and that is what his image of dress-up is. I am sure that she is right and the older he gets he will become distracted with other things. All my kids have access to boy and girl correct dolls. They all love thekitchen and they love to play house. when this little boy plays house he is always the daddy...he just has a skirt on...LOL
well maybe daddy wears a skirt at home...LOL
I would not worry about it I think they just like them because they are a very easy toy to hang on to and look like people. I think that he will out growit as soon as he noticed them if a big deal is not made of it. L.

Your son will learn more from you and your husband about how to treat women that from Barbies. What he sees lived out at home over the next 18 years will be the thing that imprints on his mind, not the dolls. Besides, we don't stop our kids from playing with Barney because they might get an unrealistic idea of what a dinosaur is. There are so many other good reasons not to let our kids play with Barney! HAHA!

The real question is, what does he DO with the dolls? At this point, too, he's barely two, and more than anything else, he's probably role playing. It may be that, for him, Barbies are more representative of "people" than "women." Are they larger, taller, etc. than his other dolls? He might like the blondes because they are unusual, for him.

My son is four, and one of his favorite things to do is play with Polly Pockets (my daughter plays with them a lot, too, and it's one of the easiest ways for them to play together without fighting. And my son is "all boy," but the girl toys are teaching him cooperation, compromise, friendship, etc. And he will benefit from this long-term.

Your post got me laughing out loud – what a charming perplexity. I've never been at all fond of Barbie, either. Stepford, uh, Bunnies! I love it!

I watch the way my imaginative grandboy, going on 3, interacts with his toys, and it doesn't seem important to him what sort of details they do or don't have. They are simply props for some playful storyline he concocts, and those storylines are evolving quickly at his age. His imagination supplies the details needed for his games, just as it would if he were playing with a big empty box.

I sincerely doubt that your son is learning those things about women's bodies that you are worried about. He's got your figure as his prime example of what women look like, right? And female relatives, and ladies in the grocery store, and ….

I believe in teachable moments, and these often occur in response to some form of cognitive dissonance: a model or concept suddenly doesn't make much sense when compared to actual experience. At some point, maybe at 4, or 7, or whenever (if he hasn't thrown Barbie over for more "manly" toys like cars, rockets, or guns by then), he may actually comment on Barbie's amazing proportions.

At that point, I hope you'll share with him your feelings about the objectification of women. And, at some point, your feelings about the objectification of of men (breadwinners, soldiers, spider-killers, whatever you've noticed). And of children, or money, or factory-raised chickens, or whatever else is of concern to you.

But to be more realistic, who could possibly say all that? Who could possibly take in all those words? No matter: example makes a deeper and durable impression. So really, the best we can do is to honestly live what we understand. THAT is what our children actually learn from us.

In the meantime, I'm guessing the Barbies will probably be thrown over for some other favorite toy before long. Smile, mommie!

I ran a daycare for 22 years, raised 5 children, and now I do foster care. For years Barbies were not allowed in our household. But neither were guns, swords, Power Rangers, Ninja Turtles, and few other toys we felt were fighting toys. 3 of my 5 children went into the armed services and a fourth married a Navy man. We had one little boy that at 3 would play with nothing but dolls and my little ponies and Barbies, if he could find them. He was the gay one. Children will pick what they like and nothing will deter that unless you put it out of sight. That doesn't change their likes and dislikes, just the availability. It doesn't mean they are violent or gay. They just like the toys. I disliked the Barbies because of what they represented also. My granddaughters love Barbies. They have changed how they make them but I still dislike them. Don't make too big a deal of it and they won't. He's probably attached to them because they are built a little like his mommy that is his favorite person. At two, he doesn't see what you see. I.

Holy Cow!!! I've never heard anyone deliberate so much over a 2 year old's toy!!! My advice is to quit worrying and spend time playing with your son with the dolls.

He has no concept of sexuality or what is and isn't realistic! How many other toys do you own that only portray a perfect replica of what is real, be it a person or an animal?!? Any Baby Einstein creature is not a representation of any real thing!!

Your son learns by what you do and say. Play with the Barbies with him and have them act out kindness, caring, friendship- how to behave like a quality human in general. *That* is what he's going to learn - not whether or not she has huge boobs for her height!!

Charlene,

You and your husband are the "boss" of your family, right? If you're uncomfortable, then just donate them to goodwill. Keep one if he is so attached, and buy her a modest outfit. I'll bet he'll outgrow his fascination with this toy soon and move on to something else, most likely something more boyish. I'd try and not worry too much at this point. Just remember that YOU are the parent. There isn't any reason to keep these dolls around if they are that worrisome! :)

my son was really into barbie dolls too. that period lasted from about 2 1/2 to 4 years old. like you, my concern was about his expectations of what a woman should look like but if you are open with him about how you look and he is around plenty of real women, i don't believe the dolls will have much effect. my son is 11yo now and is no where near into girls like some of his schoolmates are and when he has had crushes, they've been on the sweet girl not the "hot" girl. just make sure he has the choice to play with the hispanic barbie (teresa) and the asian (lea) and black barbie (christy). yes, we had them all!

btw, in california, arizona, nevada or texas white/mexican people are running around everywhere. i am white and my husband is mexican and although there aren't many mixed families in oregon, i don't know of many families that are truly "white" in those states. all of my childhood friends are either mexican-decent and married a white guy or are white and married a mexican-decent guy. it's too bad that it is so shocking here.

Alright, the last thing I want to come across as is....I don't know...pushy. I am a mother of 2 boys, 17 and 13. They both played with barbies ALL the time when they were younger. The only other family playmate was their female cousin, she is 16. Any way, I guess what I am trying to say is...come on he is 25 months old. Let him be a kid. He does not have the mental capacity or the maturity level to think of the barbie dolls in the way that you do. To him, they are easy to carry, fun to play with and I don't know maybe he likes to get a reaction out of you. Kids can learn very early on...if I do this...then she will do that. Do you see what I mean? I feel that the world is trying to make our kids grow up WAY to fast and that we are ASSUMING that they have a much more mature brain, chemically, than they actually do. Now, if you were saying that he was being overly agressive, sexually, to other girls then you would have something to think about. Otherwise...let him be a kid...let him play. Maybe, it's his way of getting ready for his little sister. My oldest son had a "baby" for a while before his younger brother was born. It was great, when I would feed, he would feed. When I changed diapers, he changed diapers. Sorry if I seem to be rambling on. I just really hope that instead of instilling your fears on him, you will foster his sensitive side. Good luck.

My motto is if you resist, they persist. Let him have fun. If you don't want him exposed to marketing, keep your television off. If you don't want him to be a macho womanizer, your husband needs to model the correct behavior. He learns from you and your husband, not barbie.

A side note. My friends who played with the 'skipper' doll (a flat chested barble popular in he 70's/80's) because their mom's wouldn't let them play with Barbie developed really small breasts and the ones who played with Barbie grew big. LOL We laughed so hard when we discovered which woman played with which doll. Of course there is no correlation!

I have no advice on the Barbie Dolls. They are freaky. But I did want to say that you are hilarious and please ignore these ignorant, humorless ninnies. Don't let them make you feel bad about yourself as a person or mom because they don't get a joke. You seem too smart to be affected, but whatever... That's my two cents.

I'm more concerned about you and your stereotypes! My goodness my husband is white and Mexican I've NEVER thought my son was going to be a "Casanova". Mybe if you relaxed a little and let your son be a KID you might all enjoy life a bit more. Barbie is NOT your problem, society is. If you believe in your parenting abilities then don't worry about what he plays with. It's what you TEACH him!
Kudo's to those who pointed out that children learn most from what they see in the home. If your husband is a "Casanova" then maybe your son will be too. Not sure what "Macho" qualities your hubby has but obviuosly they aren't too bad cause you fell in love him! So if your hubby passes these on, some woman will be sure to love your son also.
I'm actually shocked at how much your question is bothering me but it's just so ridiculous that if he plays with 4 Barbies he'll be a womanizer! What if he played with 4 cars..would he be an auto dealer?
Sorry to be a B word..for some reason this just under my skin. In the end it's your child and your business but since you asked the question I felt the need to say my peace.
Best of Luck

He is only 2 years old. I think you are reading WAY more into this than is there. The dolls are something new and different. He doesn't see them as women or girls just a toy. You said he uses them as boats in the bathtub. Relax. He will eventually find something else that will grab his attention and grow out of the barbies.

My son is now closing in on 4 years old. When he was around 2 and we would shop for shoes for him he was always drawn the pink girls shoes! He just liked the bright colors. Now is all about Speed Racer and having running shoes like Daddy's.

I must say that I do think you are over-reacting a bit. Your son is naturally going to be fascinated with the female body...and as he grows, you and your husband can teach him what is appropriate. I am sure he will grow out of the barbie doll stage as soon as he finds his next big fascination. You gotta give him space to explore, and talk to him about it all. He will be fine!

Charlene,
With our boys I had always been concerned about the same thing. Our oldest son would see the holiday commercials for the dress up dolls and the heads that you put makeup on and want one. I always told him no and tried to steer him away because those were "girl" toys. Today, I regret putting a masculine and feminine label on toys. Children like what they see and it doesn't mean that they are "gay or lesbian", it is just something that makes them happy.

When our boys have gone to my sisters they have always taken a liking to my nieces horse toys. She has this incredible hand made horse barn with many different horses. Over the years both of our boys have enjoyed playing with them. Just a few weeks ago our youngest said, "mommy, daddy, sissy used to let me play with her horsies." They made him happy and he was more interested in them than my nephews video games. this son is very much into playing with sticks as "guns" and cars (oh, the obsession) and caracters/masculine figurines. Every once in a while, McDonalds or BK gives them a girl toy and they go "Awhh", but they still play with it.

My nephew used to carry around barbies when he was little too. He would call them Barbie-Q. I was concerned about the feminine side too. He is in college and very masculine and into girls. He is also into what we call "monster garage" with his buddies and their tricked out cars. He has been a star LaCrosse player and now is an assistant coach for younger players.

All three of my sisters' children have grown into normal young adults. They don't criticize our boys about masculine or feminine toys, they just let them play with what makes them happy.

I wish you success in your quest for "peace". Forget about what you think others are thinking. Who cares, your son is happy and it's none of their business.

Hi!
I understand your concerns, but I think it is just a toy.

He's focused on it as a play thing and not for it's parts. Think about if from another perspective: the Hulk or GI Joe give a very skewed view of a male image, would you be just as concerned?

I think you are reading to much into it. Every two year has a favorite toy. His just happens to be Barbie. Now if he was cutting off her head and stringing them from the ceiling, yeah...then it would be time for concern. Right now, it's a toy he likes to play with. He doesn't understand that her body is unrealistic. Of course, Brat dolls have really big feet so they all are pretty distorted anyway. Look at Mr. Potato Head. It's really just a toy and nothing more.

Geez. am I late or what?! I saved this post to come back later. You are a hit! 41 responses, what a great way to get feedback. Everything I wanted to say is already here...he's two, let him play, Kids don't internalize the gender stereo typing like we (adults ) do, he'll move on to something else, and last..he's having fun...that priceless! If I could've gotten my daughter to sit with anything at age two, I would've loved it!

Good luck, your humor will get you through anything, take care, J.

Well...I hate to say it, but my children have been given gifts that I decided just weren't right or age appropriate. So I have removed them from the house completely and they were never really missed. I might have been asked where the thing was, but generally they just forget all about it as they are under 5. No damage done. I really think Barbies are for older children and if you think your son shouldn't be playing with them right now, then take them away...not to be seen again. Maybe buy him another type of doll that can go anywhere with him (like the bath).

I would let him keep the Barbies and pay attention to how he plays with them over time. He's still so young that it's probably just a toy he takes to for whatever reason. IMO: while your intentions are good, hiding the toy from him is confusing and over time may lead him to think that something is wrong with him or the Barbies. As he continues to play with Barbies he may get sick of them or want more. This would be a good opportunity to look at other toys that you feel are more appropriate for him to play with. Say the Barbie doctor or something like that. Right now he's starting to define himself and what he likes/doesn't like. The best thing you can do is support him in that and answer any questions he has about Barbies. He will start noticing that other boys aren't playing with Barbies and he may ask you about it. It could be a great learning experience for him. Rather than seeing him as a womanizer, it sounds like he may be a sensitive boy who has a great relationship with him mom and therefore will have great respect for women in his life. The example you and your husband set for him will be huge in influencing how he treats others. If your husband is acting "macho" then his son probably will as well.

25 months? It is a little bit early to worry about sexual orientation. Do not take the dolls away, let him play. It is very possible that he is just interesting in "a new toy" not what is the toy. In his mind they probably they are just different toys. Around this age my son played with dolls at Preschool but more exploring them and he liked when they played "a mommy and a baby" and gave the baby a bath. Yes, he still loves any play that involves water. The "male" and "female" differences in that stage is not what they are playing with, it is how they are playing with. I never sad something to him, just let him play with whatever. Recently we stayed with grand-ma and she has some dolls. He is nearly 5 years old now and he is all about Spiderman and Star Wars. And, yes, he played with the dolls and guess what... the prettiest one had to be Venom (an ugly guy from Spiderman), and he used the other ones to fight the "bad guy" and etc. If I was you, I won't worry. Just let him play with whatever he gets his hands on. Don't say anything and don't do anything. Just in a year or two he will start making the difference between "the girl's" and "the boy's" section in "Toys-R-Us". Than you will see trouble... Hope I was helpful. Good luck!

Try the GI-Joe dolls. Take a trip by your self into Toys-r-us and see what they have for boys that age in the way of "dolls".

Just one short observation: Just because a child "loves" something does NOT mean it's something to let them do if it isn't right. Some (most at one time or another!) kids "love" to hit and/or bite other people but do we let them do it just so we don't shortchange them? I hope not!! So my point is, if you're uncomfortable with his Barbie play (I must say I'm pretty sure my kids won't be playing with them at all for all the reasons you listed) then get rid of them. You could even explain why in a simplified form - kids understand so much more than we give them credit for. Anyway, that's my two cents! Good for you that you're concerned about it!!!

Remember that your son is 2 not 15. They like faces and the Barbie has a lovely perfectly proportional face which babies (and the human race) find the most... pleasant to look at. :)
AND he doesn't even understand the concept of man and woman much less sex. The Barbie is a thing to him, nothing more nothing less. All that stuff you are worried about, he doesn't even understand what it is.
Let him play with them or introduce Ken or GI Joe to him. If he hasn't lost interest in the Barbiesby the time he is 8, then I might worry... a little.
And FYI: As he grows up, don't let him sass his mom. Insist that he open the door for you and make sure he sees your husband treats you with respect and he will grow up to be a gentleman.

Have you seen 'hearts club' dolls? They have them at Target and also on their own site. They are about the size of Barbie, but have fabric-covered bodies and are more proportioned and their clothes are more modest. They also come in different ethnicities (or atleast skin tones.) They are more spendy. My daughter enjoys playing with them as much as her Barbies.

Best wishes,
A.

I wouldn't worry. Kids go through phases and play through example. Have you asked him why he likes them all together? Unless you guys are watching something in front of him or have swingers parties that he's aware of, he probably doesn't have the same group conotations that you do.

Hysterical though! Just wait...you'll be teasing him about it at his Wedding Rehearsel dinner.

I think that he will outgrow the Barbies faster then you think. They are new and that makes them interesting, 2 year olds do that. I seriously doubt he grasps the level of meaning you are putting into the Barbies. I should say I am not a Barbie lover and so far have kep my house free of them, though now I have more distate for the Bratz dolls then Barbies. Don't make a big deal of it and eventaully he will move on to another favorite toy.

Ask your son, the other people are making interesting guesses, but ask what do you like best about your dolls. It maybe the movable arms and legs or how the hair feels. It's probably a way to play mommy or learn about something that has body parts. My son sooths himself by touching my hair and it's moved to my husband's hair but it's too short and then the dogs. I was tempted to get him a doll but found my little pony. He doesn't even play w/ the mane but just says: Horsey, Horse. You never know w/ kids. Have fun playing.

I wouldn't worry about it too much - he's two years old, I really doubt his sexuality is anywhere near being expressed or even a vague notion in his head. I doubt he'll get some sort of unrealistic idea about women from Barbie dolls. In fact, he probably thinks that YOU are the most beautiful woman in the world. I used to think that my mama was! Pamela Anderson had no chance compared to her. Then again, I wasn't a boy, so who knows? Still, you could try to get him interested in some other toy slowly if you are still concerned. Or, you could make clothes that cover the dolls more? Like I said, I really doubt it's going to influence him in the way you think. It's probably just a phase. I had a My Little Pony phase and got over it. He'll definitely get over Barbies by the time he starts kindergarten - socially he'll have to! He might even become like my little brother was and start ripping their heads off.... Oh dear... little boys.

Most of the advice on here is good. You are right to worry about stereotypes - it's your lifelong job to help educate your family to all their insidious existences and provide tools for changing them, if possible (what a job!).

Most likely he likes the dressing/socializing of the 'people' he's playing with. See if you can pick up a black, asian, mexican "styled" barbie to add to his collection, and weed out some of the white ones so the color spectrum is more even, as it is in the real world.

You could also try to find the "Little People" sets with the disability and color children to see if he likes them better. Thought is they are children and children like to see other children.

You could also read him books with pictures of children of color. If you can't find them at your library you could try online or ask your local race promoting organizations.

The idea is to always teach that we are a nation/world of color with all different paths to expressing our individuality, all of which are acceptable.

If you put race/color into your home as a normal way of life, he grows up thinking it's normal, and white is just another one of the colors.

I raised 3 white brothers (I'm the only girl), 3 white daughters, and have 5 grandchildren of which I help to raise some, also white, in this fashion. Of them all, only one has to deal with living in a world as the privilege of white people and that's b/c her husband does and she's tired of arguing with him about it...but she's trying to raise her sons to think differently.

Given your race(s), it's not a subject that will never exist for your children. Educate them on the humanity, and inhumanity of racism, in an age appropriate way and you're giving them the tools to deal with what they will face in the real world. Maybe even by the time they are grown the world will think 'nicer' about white privilege.

and yes, some boys play with barbies and are gay - some aren't. don't worry about the proportions of barbie if you can counter that with images of real people he'll get it all by himself.

Chill. He's 25 months old. Let him play.