My 17 Month Old Daughter Throws Really Bad Tantrums, That Have Recently Started.

must be the age. my so is doing the exact same thing and he's 18 months. I wait out the tantrum and if he's good and its something i can go easy on i go ahead and give it to him. if he still throws a tantrum of if its something i have to stay firm on i just ignore the tantrum and he'll give up knowing he isn't going to get anything.

I think you and dad have to get on the same page about what she can and can't have. Toddlers figure out pretty quickly what works--and if throwing a tantrum gets dad to give in, she'll keep doing it! Talk to Dad and hopefully the two of you can agree to...agree!

my dd is 19 mo old fun times. really we avoid most of the problems by not saying no.....there are ways to say no w/o saying no if you email me I will give you the list I used to use it when i taught parenting classes. also I recom. the book the happiest toddler on the block by dr. karpp (spell) that is very helpful too. xo good luck

Just to assure you, it's completely normal. And actually, you're lucky it didn't start until 17 months. It really is just a phase. This too shall pass...and then probably come back again sometime too! My first daughter started tantrums at 12 months and my second daughter started them at 9 and a half months!!! Everytime they happen, keep reminding yourself that your daughter cannot express herself with words...she cannot tell you what she wants...and she cannot tell you what is making her sooooo frustrated that it erupts into a tantrum. Best thing to do is let it happen, stay calm and DON'T make a big fuss or try to give her a treat or something to make her stop - that will make her think she will get a treat if she screams and cries. Whenever they had a tantrum, without feeding into the tantrum, I would calmly take her away from the situation and redirect her attention with calm words, a different toy or even turn on Sesame Street real quick (Elmo always distracts them!!!). Also, watch for signs that may trigger a tantrum. If you see one coming on, change the situation quickly. Pull out some snacks and be prepared at a restaurant with tons of toys or things to do that are strictly "restaurant toys" - toys she never sees or plays with other than at a restaurant - that way they will stay new and interesting. When it comes to tantrums when changing the diaper, that will pass too. In the mean time, have diaper changing toys ready, and change her in a confined area like a corner or somewhere that she can't move around and get away. And change her quickly until this passes!!! Just like all good things come to an end...so do the bad!!!

Welcome to the grit of mommyhood. Well she's right where she is supposed to be temperment wise. My 18 month old is there now. I see you have gotten some really good advice. Patience: and try to see the world through her eyes. She is the definition of immature. This is her open window to "act like a child" and it will be socially ok : ) I mean grownups can't fall out in Target cause we can't get chocolate pecan ice-cream. Inside we feel like but it will look really bad if we reacted. Toddlers feel it and they go with it with reckless abandon. No one cares, they just smile and move on.

Learn her habits of when she'll freak out. If my daughter has a pen and is on the hard wood floor I cup the back of her head then take the pen. Then she falls back and my hand is right there to ease her down so she doesn't hit her head. I just leave her there and let her work it out on the floor. Reasoning with her doesn't do a darn thing. All she knows is you took her pen and that really ticked her off. Ohhh the daggers I get, but were the mommies, and we know better. Just try to take emotion of it. No point in everyone screaming. My yelling didn't make her stop. All that happened is now both of us are having tantrums.

If she gets too out of hand at home she goes right in her crib until she's done. Half the time she falls asleep. If we're out I kind of have to ride with it and just make sure I keep my cool. Can't really give them a time out in public and when you get home you can't do it then either cause they have no idea why.

Oh as far as changing diapers. Yeah tantrums with that sucks lol. It is what it is. Just get a strong but gentle arm and change the little bugger as fast as you can lol

Find a pattern that works for you. Mostly you'll have to let her do what she's going to do, just keep your cool and keep her safe in the process : )

Hang in there!!!

Hi V.,

This seems to be the age that it starts. My son is 21 months old and he started a few months ago. I have to say, his tantrums are mild but I still address them while they are happening.

I agree with one mom who suggested that you and hubby are on the same page. Lucky, or unlucky (not sure yet), I am the one that takes care of our son and that includes telling him yes or no and also handling his tantrums. If your hubby caves in time after time, he will only sabotage your efforts.

One thing I read that seems to help me correct my son is telling him something positive in place of the negative. For example, if my son is climbing up on something and I tell him not to do it, he doesn't usually listen. However, if I give him a positive or active command, he will. Instead I tell him, Eli please put your feet down on the ground or something to that effect. It's harder to think of talking to them that way, but it seems to be more helpful. It's exhausting saying no all day, so I try to think of other ways.

Also, I don't ignore my son when he is throwing a tantrum. I try to express his feelings out loud to him and be sympathetic towards him. The other night he got mad because I wouldn't give him a sticker. He threw himself down on the ground. I went over to him and said "No sir, mama doesn't like when you do that. I told you you could have one sticker and I meant it. I'm sorry you are upset but you can have one tomorrow." Not sure how much he understands, but I think it helps when i explain the reasoning behind the no. It feels a little goofy, but I think it helps.

I also told my son instead of throwing himself down on the ground that he should growl like a lion when he's mad. It worked as a good distraction.

Hope these were some helpful tips. Good luck, and just like most things, it's a phase that will pass just hang in there.

With this age you need to plan ahead. Take picture books or a couple toys when you go out to eat so she has something to do until the food comes. Picky eating is normal also. Keep giving her new foods to try but always have some you know she likes too. She is normal and the tantrums are because she is frustrated and can't talk out her feelings. Calm her down by being calm yourself and give her the words for her feelings "You are angry because you can't play with the salt shaker, but you can play with this toy" She may throw the toy and refuse to play with it but stick with your guns on the no's. If you give into a tantrum then you will see more and more of them. Remember if there is a chance you will give in to a tantrum, don't say no in the first place. If it isn't that important to keep it a no, it is ok to let her have it. Examples are... "No you may not climb on the back of the couch, you could fall and get hurt" or other dangerous situations... a cookie before dinner may not be good but a few cheerios or crackers would be ok so when she wants a cookie, offer those instead. We also use to talk cheerios with us or little crackers to the restaurant so she wouldn't be antsy to get her food.

Yelling at a child doesn't work and that is what they remember all the time. My youngest son died in a accident last month and his 3 year old daughter whom he adored and cherished remembered the last time he got after her for something even though it was a few months before. I am sure she was trying to find reason that he was gone from her life and blaming herself. I decided after that we need to be careful of how we correct our children/grandchildren and even spouses so they don't remember the negitive after we are gone. He had told her she wasn't being his nice girl when she was jumping on the bed while he was trying to get her to sleep, she was being mean. She kept saying "My daddy says I am a meanie.. I'm not a nice girl and he wasn't joking" It broke my heart since I know he adored her and I reminded her that I remember the last thing he said before he left to go out of town to her which was "Emma, I love you"

I guess what I am trying to say is always show your love even when there is tantrums and drive you crazy.