18 Month Old Tantrums

Carrie,
Stay calm when your daughter is having a tantrum even though I know that is sometimes hard. Getting angry or punishing always makes tantrums worse. I've raised 8 kids and some of them went through the tantrum stage. They all out grew it when they realized it changed nothing. try distracting her with something interesting for her to hold or look at,continue with changing the diaper or the dressing and then calmly set her down and go on with whatever else you are doing. Try to spend some extra loving time when she is not having a tantrum while ignoring the tantrums as much as possible. Parenting is a hard job and you are likely doing a much better job than you think, Good luck to you.

Maybe ignoring it doesn't work well for her. Every child is different and it sounds as though she needs something else. Maybe a calm, close approach rather than moving away from her coming down to her level and trying to show her how you understand her frustration and that she's upset. It cold be even more aggrivating to her to feel misunderstood and frustrated and then have the person ignore you.... it sounds frustrating for a little person that is just learning to effectively communicate :-) Maybe look at the varius situations that trigger these tantrums and try to plan it in advance that she is distracted, the environment is changed, there is somehow *less* frustrating moments for her.... something is clearly upsetting. For example if you know she gets upset at diaper changes try to plan ahead to make it fun or exciting and change the mood to fun, rather than stressful...maybe surprise her with some new cheap dollar store toy to hold while you change her, or hand her a special food item to eat while you do it, turn on a few minutes of her favorite show and smile A LOT....make her think diaper change time is awesome! Same goes for any other tantrum time.... think ahead about times you know she might feel frustrated and try to *fix* or *change* those times into exciting happy times for her....

On the other hand, maybe she has sensory issues, which is what a friend of mine's son has.... he would get very stressed at certain times when he was touched, approached or was overwhelmed in a sensory way. Just a thought :-) I think a behavioral person would check for that if you thought that it might be something to consider.

Hang in there and you will both get through. 18 months is a frustrating time for a little one that knows what they want but can't communicate it very well yet. They must feel so misunderstood! Best wishes!

My 14 mo old likes to try to get a rise out of me during the diaper changes. I think he gets bored or feels as if it is out of his control during this time. Laying on your back is a vulnerable position during a diaper change. I keep several small toys that I know interst him near the changing table. He gets to choose one then he lays down and gets to play with it during the diaper change. Otherwise, it's a real struggle. The key for him is turing a negative to a positive.... distraction, disctraction, disctraction! This has worked really well for us. Good luck.

My son has periods off and on of tantrums. He is 20 months now. His tantrums are worse when he has teeth coming in and then just disappear when the teeth appear. I tried the ignore method with him, but it didn't seem to help. If I know it's the teeth then I give him teething tablets or Tylenol if he is being unusually grumpy. Otherwise, I do not ignore the tantrums...especially when I am trying to do something to him like a diaper change. I make him look me in the eyes and stay firm and tell him no. It might take a few times per tantrum but then he ends up calming down and wanting to kiss or hug me. The ignore method just seemed to make him more agitated and take forever to do anything. Good luck.

Distraction works best for my twins- have a toy at hand that is only available to her at the changing table, or let her have something she normally wouldn't get her hands on (my boys will stop everything if they think they snagged the tube of Aquaphor, LOL). Also, lately they'll snap out of the tantrum when I do something silly like play peekaboo with their feet while changing them- it changes their mood long enough to finish up the diapering. Good luck!

Take her off refined food, check to see if she has a dairy allergy.
Did she have a vaccination?
Check out ChildrenBehaviorHelp.com-we have found them to be WONDERFUL.
best of luck-k

carrie, i think it might be time for you to start impimenting some form of punishment for your daughter. shes eighteen months now, shes old enough to be taught right from wrong. all children are different and need different degrees of punishment/(and depends on what they did.) of course there are things that need to be done/ diaper change etc. and she needs to learn that she needs to have these things done. no/time out,(or maybe even just redirecting her to something else might work), etc. good luck!