My 14 Year Old Daughter - Mount Hermon,LA

Updated on February 07, 2013
B.D. asks from Mount Hermon, LA
12 answers

My 14 year old daughter likes boys...ALOT!She txts them after i tell her not too.She is so sneaky and beats up her younger sister(12)Ladies,I need your help!We have done everything and nothing has helped!!

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So What Happened?

We have decided we are not canceling the phone plan because we are not the ones who pays the bill.We are taking the phone (6months)and she has no electronics or drawing for 6 months as well.She will not be in contact with her sister because she will only be allowed to come out of her room when going to take a shower.Dinner will be eaten in her room,NO acceptions.Thanks to everyone who commented!

Featured Answers


answers from Houston on

"We have done everything..." Such a nontruth. If you had done everything then the phone would not be in her possession.

5 moms found this helpful

More Answers


answers from Rochester on

Maybe your 12 year old is taking after your 13 year old. With the boys, and all.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from Redding on

I'd axe the phone and keep her home for a couple of weeks until you can trust her to be responsible.
Have you tried getting your girls involved in afterschool sports or music lessons. It's good to keep them busy so they dont have a lot of time to waste on boys..... We have our entire life to deal with men after we "grow up" a little first.

5 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

Take her phone now. There are consequences for her actions. Punishment is needed for that action.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on


Take the phone. Set some ground rules for your house. Explain consequences if she breaks rules and rewards when she follows them. Get a closer rein on her and let it loose as she proves to be trustworthy.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from New London on

She is only 14 ! Take care of this now so the more difficult yrs ahead will be tolerable.

I teach parenting. Somewhere along the line their have not been limits set. She is treating authority like a doormat. This is not ok.

Set limits. Tell her that starting WEdnesday, she can have the phone until dinner time. NO TEXTING should be done by a teen at the dinner table EVER. Sit w/ her and eat. She might not talk for a few days. Do not argue. Just tell her a few positive things about your day and what you admire about her. After her hw, she can have the CHOICE to have it back for an hr. It is her job to put the phone on the table near you at bedtime.

That is parenting a "spirited" child !

Tell her that she is aloud to talk to her sister. If SHE DECIDES to beat up on her, THEN, she has made the choice to have the phone taken away for a full week. Find a good hiding spot.

You might need to get outside help. This is not going to be easy, but, it has to be done.

On the same note, I do not think she should be dating now. Texting boys at 14 is pretty normal. Hopefully, the content is OK.

Sit her down tomorrow and tell her what will take place beg the next day. Then, stand very FIRM. If you cannot do this on your own, get outside help ! Feel free to send me a private message if you need to chat !

Once limits are established...believe it or not...she will feel more secure.
Kids need to know that their parent is doing their job.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Minneapolis on

Yup, that about sums it up. I have one too. I keep reminding myself that I have greataunts and perhaps even a grandmother that were married at age 14, so they at least had an outlet for their youthful enthusiasm. Yah, I know, not much of a consolation. But it gets me through.

Smile, take it in stride, restrict the phone usage. But try not to turn this into a power struggle. Teenagers thrive on power struggles. (sorry for stating the obvious.) I think the general understanding between the 2 of you needs to be her enthusiasm is normal. BUT, like all things in life we need to moderate.

Lastly, boredom is the ultimate destructor of teenagers. Is she involved in any extra-curricular activities? I would highly suggest karate. It will give her an outlet for her extra energy, get her meeting peers face to face (including boys - which actually is a good thing because it puts them on an equal platform and boys won't seem so awesome when she finds out she can incapacitate them with the flick of a wrist), and give her some structure and extra discipline.

Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Norfolk on

Take her phone away or remove texting off her service.
Beating up anyone especially family members is not allowed.
When she does it, she gets to wash/dry the dishes/pots/pans by hand for a week.
If she keeps it up, she can scrub toilets.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Wausau on

Take away the phone, for a start. If she needs one for a legitimate need to get in touch with you, replace it with one that does not have text capabilities.

As for the sister issue, that requires supervision. If you can't be there, then it sounds like a babysitter is necessary.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from New York on

Take her phone away. As in, put the phone on the driveway and run over it with your car. Or fill up the bathtub and give the phone a swim. Then call your provider and remove her from your plan.

She is not demonstrating the maturity to have a phone.

If she is beating up her younger sister, you need to think of some consequence that will wake her up. Say, every time she lays a hand on her sister, go to her closet, remove one article of clothing that she likes, and cut it up with scissors. If she goes a month without laying a hand on her sister, take her to the mall and let her buy one thing.

I don't usually take this approach, but you need to establish authority here. Right now, you've got a teenage girl running the show.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from San Francisco on

Take the phone away and don't give it back until she understand who is in CHARGE (That would be you and dad...if he's in the pic). You can also give her a phone that does NOT have the text capability.

As for her beating on her sister......I would bring the hammer down on that one. She probably would not have any extra perks for at least one month of NO abusive behavior. I know kids fight, but they are close enough in age to know better. (Do they have separate rooms)?

You have the opportunity to STOP this behavior before your daughter gets much older. TAKE some action NOW, if you need help, there are agencies and help available in some churches that can give you a hand.


1 mom found this helpful


answers from Birmingham on

We have a 13 yr. old girl and I can relate! Take her phone away and guess what ... she can't talk and text boys (or anyone) after school. It will drastically cut out who she can and can't talk to. At this age, you can have a huge control on who they get to communicate with because we are providing those means of communication, travel, etc. Good luck. I am learning that teen girls are a bit more difficult than teen boys (in our family anyway!!)

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