My 10 Month Old Crying Constantly

Updated on March 05, 2007
C.I. asks from Fort Edward, NY
11 answers

My son is 10 months old and the joy of my life. However, he cries every time I walk into another room. Now this is probably really common & people my suggest he thinks I am leaving him, but there is nothing that has ever happened where he would think that. Also most of the crying occurs when I leave the living room & go into the kitchen, the living room & kitchen are both open and connect so he can see me just fine. He always crawls to me and cries and wants to pick him up. I am trying to not pick him up all the time because I know that is spoiling him already, but how do I get him to stop crying?? I realize he is going to follow me right around the house & be right behind my heals. I can deal with that, it's just the non stop screaching cry and the need for me to pick him up all the time & if you sit down while holding him he has a fit he is so nosey he wants to you to stand and hold him all day. What do I do??

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So What Happened?

thank you so much everyone for posting advice. I am going to try that and see how it works. I think I may be thinking into his crying and bedtime actions a little too much. However I do keep hearing that I may be spoiling, BUT in the end how can that really be helped?! lol, I want to make him happy and me happy so if that means picking him and cuddling etc. Then so be it. He will grow out of it I am sure. BUT I will be letting you all know how it is going. Thanks again.

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J.W.

answers from Buffalo on

I'm having the same problem with my 9mo. old. just wanted to let you know, you;re not alone and now i don't have to post a quest. :)

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B.C.

answers from Buffalo on

Hi C., I see you have already been given tons of advice on this topic and to be honest after reading it I was worried about the kinds of advice that would be given to you but OH MY GOSH the moms on this website are amazing!!!! Never have I heard such wonderful caring advice, I thought for sure there would be some advice on how you ARE spoiling him or some dumb advice on how to break him from crying but the moms on here are dead on. It actually brought me to tears how wonderful todays moms are and how the old fashioned way of thinking is coming to an end. You will probably always have those opinions from people who have no business giving them about how to raise your child or how what you are doing is wrong, you just have to ignore them and do what feels right and it obviously doesn't hurt to ask a question or two on Mamasource either. So if any of you responders to C. read this I just want to say thank you and you are all doing a wonderful job!

1 mom found this helpful
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F.C.

answers from New York on

Hi C.. I went through this two months ago. My son is now 12 months. Have you tried wearing him in a sling? This way he is happy and you can alleviate back aches (I know that you are pregnant) Don't let anyone tell you you are spoiling your baby. He just wants to be with you. Have you ever watched any nature programs on tribal life in many countries, aren't they wearing thier babies all over the place. Good luck.

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S.S.

answers from New York on

Hi C.,
my name is S.. I'm single mom too. I have 8 yrs daughter and 2 yrs son. I have the same problem when my son about that age, from my experience when my son turn 14 months, I start put him in day care just for part time (3 times a week). It was hard both of us in the beginning, but it works after a month. I hope this is works for you in the future.

Enjoy beiing he still a baby and take care,
S.

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M.S.

answers from New York on

To me there is no such thing as spoiling a 10 month old.
Motherhood is the job of a lifetime nothing can bring so much joy and pain all at the same time lol its really hard sometimes.
It sounds like your wee one is having seperation anxiety,they go through stages like this in fact my twelve year old is going through that stage again for the millionth time.
Try taking tiny breaks from the baby,even if he fusses a bit come back into the room quickly at first tell him mommy will be right back leave the room and then do what you said and come right back remind him that you said you'd be right back and here you are.gradually he will learn and understand that if you go into the bathroom to pee you arent going to be abducted by aliens never to be seen again.
Its great that you are talking about this stress is a very bad thing so venting is really important, if u ever need to vent feel free I am a mom of 5 and understand how you feel very well, to this dy I refer to my five year old as the tumor because it seemed like she was attached to my body lol
good luck
wishing you peace love and joy, MB

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D.K.

answers from New York on

HEY I KNOW THE FEELING MY NEWPHEW WAS EXACTLY THE SAME.. ALTHOUGH MY SON IS ONLY EIGHT MONTHS IVE HEARD IT ALL FROM THE IN LAWS DONT ROCK DONT PICK HIM ULL SPOIL HIM UR HIS MOM N THATS THAT HE LOVES U WHAT I CAN TELL U IS THAT IVE READ IN MANY PLACES THAT US AS MOMS SHOULD PRACTICE WHEN WALKING OUT OF THE ROOM TO LET OUS CHILD KNOW MOMMY WILL BE RIGHT BACK WALK OUT N RETURN QUICKLY IT SAYS TO KEEP DOING THIS SO HE ORS HE WILL GET USED TO IT N WONT FEEL SO LEFT ALONE OR SOMETHING EVERY TIME U WALK OUT STAY OUT JUST ALIL BIT LONGER BUT REMEMBER ALWAYS RETURN ITS BEEN WORKING FOR ME SO FAR I HOPE EVERYTHING WORKS OUT OH BY THE WAY MY NEPHEW EVENTUALLY GREW OUT OF IT SO DONT WORRY

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K.M.

answers from New York on

You're not spoiling him picking him up. In fact, the more you hold and touch him the more confident and independent he will become. You have to make it so he's almost sick of ya! LOL.

I never listened to the old school way of thinking, holding them will spoil them. I obsessed over my son who is now 2-and-a-half and I still give him a million kisses and hold him and cuddle. I always have. Now, he's in daycare and he trusts me and is so independent. I drop him off and leave with no problems. I promise him that will make popcorn that evening, or get a pizza or watch a movie and he tells me "okay, get going" LOL. Because he wants to get on with his day and see me later. Hug and hold and kiss and sing and touch and massage your baby all you want. It will only make him feel secure and in turn independent and trust you. Then, you can go to the kitchen, movies or where ever without him freaking out, unless he just wants to run the streets with you like my son loves to do.
I know how frustrating it is to want to just wash your hands or use the restroom in PEACE!!! But, that's part of the deal when you become a Mommy! Your son just needs reassurace from you. Some kids need more than others. But again, I can't stress it enough, the more touch he gets from you the more secure and independent he'll become.
When you do need to step away for a sec, talk to him like a person and say "Mommy is going to put the lasagna in the oven now. Want to see? Big ol' lasagna is going to bake and the cheese will get ooey gooey." So on and so forth. Engage him in your activities. And, keep on until one day he won't cry, he'll listen and wait for you to come back.

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D.S.

answers from Albany on

I agree with the moms who say you won't spoil him. My problem was I couldn't get anything done, especially cooking. I ended up getting a "fence" like this: http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=1762...

I hate traditional play pens because I want them to have more room and freedom. We mainly used this only as a last resort pen-style but also opened it up or only used a few sections to "wall off" an area. You could let him get right up to the kitchen but still keep him from the dangers or out from under your feet. He will still fuss a bit but will learn he's okay and you're right there. It's h*** o* both of you now. Love him lots then tell him it's time to play and let him go for a while. I think another mom said to slowly lengthen the amount of time, yes? Good plan. I can't see you trying to carry him everywhere pregnant, ouch!
D.

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L.O.

answers from New York on

C.,

Your baby is having normal seperation anxiety. It can be tiring, especially since you are pregant. I don't think you will spoil him if you pick him up. He will be moving on his own before you know it.
Rewgarding the sleep - it sounds like you are doing what works. Be careful of hard core baby trainers. Follow your instincts.
Good luck!
L.

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J.B.

answers from Albany on

Hi C.!

I feel your pain. My son Joey (now 2 yrs. 7 mths) was the same way. It is serious separation anxiety. All I can tell you is that it is a phase and he WILL grow out of it. Get out by yourself at least once a week or that crying will drive you nuts! Good luck!

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C.G.

answers from New York on

I know you have already responded to the what happened part, but I wanted to stick my nose in a little.
do you often play peek a boo with him? it helps teach object permanance, and starting with hands to cover your face, moving onto the blanket to cover your head and or body, then from around the corner of a room. then leave the room (or go around the corner) a little longer in between pee-ka-boo games.

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