Moving with an 18 Month Old.

A.,

If your mom is offering to take your little guy... then let him go! It will be sooo less stressful for everyone. He will just be @ grandma's playing & you will be able to get things done a lot quicker & more efficiently if you don't have to chase him around all weekend.

As far as him coming "home" to a new/unfamiliar place... just make sure that when you bring him home you are very cheery & full of smiles. Say "look baby (whatever your pet name is for him) -- look at our new house... this is gonna be fun!" Let him unpack a little with you... maybe some of his clothes & the toys that you do have for him...

Just because it is temporary doesn't mean that it has to be unfamiliar & scary... Think of it like a vacation or camping or something. It may be all new, but it's something waiting to be explored. Keep him occupied & make sure that he has a few comfort things that he can relate to & know that everything is ok & he is still going about life w/mommy & daddy by his side.

Let your mom take him!!! He will be fine. You will soon learn that this sort of thing is far more tramatic for you than it is for him.

I don't think that 'seeing' the transition helps; at 18 months, he isn't going to be sure what it is he's seeing. Of course, you could talk him through it, but you could talk him through it as you drive from Grandma's to the new place, and it will probably work just as well....

Hi A.,

I've moved a lot, and I think a child needs to see the transition, the packing and the empty house. If it is possible, let your mom come over for two hours each day, I think it's very important.
Don't worry about the temporary location, a child will always find something to play with, even if it's just a bunch of spoons. If you're relaxed, the child will be.

Good luck, moving is always a hassle...

I.

Hi A.,

One of my friends moved last year with her 2 year old. I thought my friend had a great plan by having the 2 year old stay with someonelse during the move and having the child's bedroom all decorated by the time the child came to the new house. That way even though the surroundings are new but the child's room is unpacked and looks familiar right from the start. Good luck!

My son is 3 1/2 and we've moved twice (four times if you count the temporary locations) within the past 18 months. The first move (he was 2) I was able to have family help me and then take us to the airport. He was completely underfoot, but there were 3 of us to watch him, so it wasn't bad. The temporary location was fine, I think he just thought we were on vacation. We packed some toys and books to be dropped of at our temp location along with his crib. Moving into our house that time was a little harder because he wanted to help the movers with everything and there was only me and my husband to watch him. The second move we also packed some toys and stuff to go to temp housing. Again, he thought we were on vacation, there was a pool, so he was happy. Again, when the movers brought our stuff, he was underfoot. If I did it again, I probably would have someone keep him while they were moving the big stuff anyway. He still talks about his "old house" but I don't think seeing it empty would have helped with that, he just really liked his old room. We were lucky enough to have his grandparents keep him while the movers packed and moved us out of that one.
I think little ones adapt better than we give them credit for. Do what is going to make you more comfortable. If it will help you to not have to watch him and be able to concentrate on everything, than send him off. If you're stressed, he's more likely to stress out too.
Good luck! Moving is tough!

We also had to move twice this summer. Our house was not ready so we lived in an apartment for a few months. Before we moved into the apartment we showed each of the kids their rooms and told them we were camping!! Our son was 3 and our daughter was 17 months. We had more problems with the older child. Our daughter adjusted fine without much help. She was happy with her crib and her few toys that we brought. The main thing she wants is for you to be there.

FYI I was raised in the military and moved all the time. I think that the experience taught me how to adjust to new situations and made it easier for me to make friends.

Maybe try having your Mom come to your place and watch him, at least for a few hours at your place. That way he sees that something is happening but someone else is there to help with him.

I vote let your mom take him. we moved with ours at 15 months and it was really hard to supervise movers while supervising him as well. the door had to stay open while they went in and out and it was a nightmare trying to keep him away from the open door. he wanted to climb all over boxes and other stuff that's usually put away, etc. moving in was the same thing, the door open, box cutters laying around and the tape dispenser with the sharp edge, etc there are too many things that are dangerous!!

t

I would defently let your mom keep him. Our daughter is 2 1/2 and we have moved 4 times since she has been born, not to worry everything will be fine. In fact we are moving again next week. Trust me your son will be ok and everytime we have moved our daughter has stayed at grandmas. Good luck

My first thought is: Honestly, he is 18 months old! Why are you even worried about this? But my second thought is that I remember when I had my first child, how I would worry about everything! = )

Kids transition better that we give them credit for. I think he is old enough to tell him that you are moving but just make it fun, like an adventure. If you worry kids sense it. Due to relocations, we have lived in 3 cities in 2 years - my daughter was 20 mo. for the first move and 3 yrs for the second. the hardest thing is not explaining the move but keeping her on routine through the change. My son was 7 for the first move and 8 for the second, while it has been really hard be has done well and I think it has to do with keeping our focus, comments, and attitude positive and fun.

Hope that helps = )

- js

Send him to grandma's!
He'll think he's on vacation and Grandma will have a good time too. Just make sure any special/favorite toys are blankets, etc., are waiting for him when he gets to the new place.

We moved when my daughter was 14 months old. It was very stressful
and took alot longer thaen we had planned. My little one stayed with
grandma and that was the best thing for everyone.Always accept help
even though we are super moms and can do everything. You will be more
helpful without chasing your bundle of joy around all day.
Good luck,
J.

We moved when my daughter was 18 mo too and I had all the same worries. She did great and never missed a beat. Kids are more flexible than we give them credit for. I think it helped that she had been to the "new" house with me during the inspection so it was not completely new. I told her everything that was going to happen ahead of time. that she would go stay with --- and then we would go live in a new house and never see the old house again. I don't know if that is what did it or not but she seemed to understand.

Best wishes