Is My Son White or Mixed?

Updated on June 30, 2010
B.D. asks from Livingston, NJ
22 answers

around the time I got pregnant, I didn't know if my son was white or mixed with african american. He is now four months old and looks white he has soft blonde hair baby blue eyes and is very pale he has a brown birth mark ob his right side how can I tell? I am white, and I was not raped or blindfolded or anything I do know who I am having sex with I made one bad decision do ot judge me for it.

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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Are you trying to find out who the father is? Genetic testing is the only way.

Meanwhile, he's "a person."

8 moms found this helpful

S.K.

answers from Kansas City on

Are you saying there could be one of 2 daddies, one guy white and one guy black? Or are you saying that the daddy is black but it appears the baby is more white. I think it's best to not put labels on people. It's all so degrading and people get so touchy. But if you really don't know you have bigger issues.

2 moms found this helpful

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M.D.

answers from Dallas on

I'm little confused, is there two possibilities for the father, one being white and the other is black? My kids are bi-racial, black and white; I'm white, daddy is black (light skin). My youngest, has blondish light brown hair, does have brown eyes, but very light-skin; he could pass as a white kid. My oldest, is light skin too, little darker, some people think she's mexican, my middle son, has a lot of african american traits, his hair is dark, he's about the same color as his dad, not really dark, but people know he's black.
All my kids are bi-racial, I have said it from the start they are both black and white. I get mad at the school system when it says they can only list one ethnic type. I want them to be proud of who they are and they are black and white. I always mark down they are both, and when the school sends me out the final information sheet, they always put my oldest as "white" and my middle son "black", my youngest doesn't go to school yet. I get so mad at this.
If you are trying to figure out which one is the father, then see if they would be willing to get a blood test done. That way you know for sure. It's hard to just guess, most babies are born with blue eyes, my oldest had them until she was 3-4 months, then they slowly turned brown, my youngest only had blue eyes for about 2 months before they turned. My middle had brown eyes from the start. How blonde is the hair, if it's really blonde I would most likely guess he's white, but I have seen mixed kids with blond hair and my youngest has really light hair.

2 moms found this helpful
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D.B.

answers from Norfolk on

Sweetie, the only way to know for sure is to get a paternity test. You probably need to figure this out anyway. The child's father should be paying support whether you are in a relationship with him or not.

2 moms found this helpful
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K.E.

answers from Jacksonville on

If you are trying to figure out who the father is, you need to have DNA tests done. It's the only way to be sure. Babies can look like anyone and may not favor mom, dad or grandparents, but a great uncle or a great great aunt. Please do yourself and your little boy a favor and get the tests done if they are needed, so that you both can have some closure on the matter.

* If I'm wrong and you aren't seeking out the father by the looks of your son, I'm truly sorry. If that's the case, do not seek to label your child either. He is who he is and that is beautiful.

2 moms found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Well, he sounds pretty white to me, but you have to have a genetic test if you don't know who the true father. Both possible fathers will have to submit to having their cheeks swabbed and that will be tested against the child's DNA. You should do that because "mixed" children can really look like just "one" race, so only a DNA test can tell you for sure.

I also highly urge you to have the testing done so you'll have a medical history background from the father and most importantly, so your son will know who is father is! He will be asking in the next several years.

2 moms found this helpful
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T.V.

answers from San Francisco on

DNA test -- no judgement

Blessings....

2 moms found this helpful
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D.F.

answers from Boston on

Are you W and the father is AA or are you AA and the father W. If so either way your wonderful little baby is both. Either way good luck with your baby!!

1 mom found this helpful
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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

If you need to know for sure, if it really matters to you to know, than only a DNA test to determine paternity can tell you for sure (I am guessing there are 2 possibilities for Dad, that is why you are unsure?) I believe they have kits you can mail in to get results.

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

You state "I do know who I am having sex with", so just ask him

1 mom found this helpful
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J.G.

answers from Cleveland on

Sorry, but does it really matter if he is white or mixed?? It is going to be hard for us to really answer your question... I had a "mixed" friend growing up. She did have brown eyes, but she also had really pretty blond hair. You couldn't really tell her dad was black unless you meet him... which mind you her bothers were the same way. One had blond hair & blue eyes and the other had brown hair & eyes, but they were all light skinned (but tanned really well w/ little burning).

If you are trying to figure out if he is white or mixed to figure out who his dad is, then you are going to have to have a DNA test done on who ever you were having sex with.

But honestly - all that matters is that you got a special little love out of what ever you happened to be doing. Even if you never truely know who "daddy" is. Just love the little guy - he is all that matters.

So you know, I have 4 kids & 1 due any day... they all have the same dad. But I have a blond (eventhough she now colors it black) w/ darker skin, 2 red heads w/ fair skin & a dark brown hair w/ darker skin little one. When I'm out with my kids by myself- I've actually been asked who's the littlest is, since he tans so well... but if daddy is with me they see where he got it from. We are both white - I'm just really fair w/ dirty blond hair & daddy is part native, so he has black hair & darker skin... mind you he tans so well - lol. It's sicking sometimes cause I just burn. But it does amaze me that we have such different looking kids as far as hair & skin goes and they are all both of ours. That is why I'm saying we really won't be able to say if your son is white or mixed.

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T.S.

answers from Sacramento on

Are you trying to use your child's race to figure out who his father is? I don't think this is a great method? There is a HUGE range of looks among African Americans and even more when one of the parents is white.

Have a DNA test to figure out who the daddy is. Blonde hair and blue eyes does NOT mean his daddy isn't black.

Good luck with this.

T.

1 mom found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Detroit on

My girlfriends hubby is a quite dark African American and their son is whiter than I am (and I'm a pasty pale white girl LOL) and has beach boy blond hair. Her mom actually waited til her hubby left the delivery room and asked her point blank if she'd cheated on her hubby. Its pretty evident she didn't, as her son looks EXACTLY like his dad, down to the butt chin and all. He's just a whiter version of him. He's 5 and has gotten a slightly darker skin tone over the years, but he still looks white. I'll be the first to admit that I thought that dark skin ALWAYS prevailed over lighter skin in babies, but after this, I've become very educated about it. Its quite possible that your son's father has mixed heritage in their genes. As it was explained to me by my girlfriends hubby, back in the day during slavery, so many of the women produced children fathered by a white slave owner who raped them. Therefore, his heritage can be effected possibly by that as well. I hope I don't get hammered on that comment as it came directly from an African American. Not that I think he's the end all to be all on history lessons, but it did make some sense.

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M.M.

answers from Minneapolis on

If there is paternity questions... Why not have a DNA test done to establish paternity? Unless you slept with a white man & a black man and they do not know and you were waiting to see if the baby was black or white and then informed the dad. You are not giving us enough information...
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Ok now that you have updated your question, I want ro reply better. It should not be a question of what race your child is; that is a side bar, it should be who the father is. Treat the case the same as if both guys were the same race. Do not wait to try to find out as the baby gets older if it has minority features, establish paternity now, so that your baby can have a father regardless of the race of this father. Do not deny the child a relationship with the paternal side of the family. So be honest and tell both guys and go and get a paternity test. Good Luck... Know no one is judging; just trying to help.
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Just to let you know I know I know of children who are black (now 7 & 5 years of age). They are both blue eyed with white blond hair. We know 100% that the daddy is black. So you can not always tell. The true complexion of black children many times does not surface until after age 2. The same for the hair texture and eye color. Just to let you know.

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L.L.

answers from Orlando on

My nephew is mixed race black & white and has golden blond soft ringlets in his hair. Light skin..... You can't tell just by looking at your baby what race he is sometimes. Me and my daughters dad are both white and she came out looking spanish/mexican. I actualloy had a friend pull me to the side and ask that same question someone else mentioned below (if my daughter was my husbands!! lol) - So, you can't tell just by that. You need to get a test done to find out who the Dad is. Your baby deserves to know.

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B.C.

answers from New York on

Based on your description he appears to be white. Blonde with blue eyes is usually the first precursor for white however be mindful of the fact that hair changes. I am hispanic and I was born with and had up until the age of 4 reddish brown hair by the time I turned five my hair color changed from reddish brown to jet black. What color is the very top of the ears? Usually children who will change color the top of the ears are a darker color than the rest of their body and their color turns darker. Hope this helps.

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B.S.

answers from Houston on

The only way of knowing is through a paternity test. My husband is dark Hispanic (black hair and dark brown eyes), I am very white with freckles, brunette and green eyes. Our son is very white, same color hair as mine but also has some blonde streaks and has brown eyes. It is cute to see him and my husband together because they are so different in color. Totally looks like a white boy but he is mixed! (There is a picture of us on my profile)

T.N.

answers from Albany on

How can it have been a 'bad' decision if out of it came your beautiful fair son!! Enjoy him Mamma, God certainly does! Someday if you are concerned about not knowing his other family history, or now for financial support (btw, who's listed as Dad on the birth certificate? Or is it 'unknown'?) you'll need DNA testing. Once he is in school he will have questions about his Dad, do you have a plan to answer them? Otherwise, he is who HE is and you can love him for that! Congratulations! (One more thing, I hope you gave the Dad(s) a chance at least to know about him and to be a part of his life, I hope you didn't just assume whoever his Dad is would want no part of it!)

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A.H.

answers from New York on

you won't be able to tell based purely on the color of his skin or hair - genes are funny like that. The only way (other than paternity test) to tell who the dad is is to see what features he has that might resemble the dad. As you know, some common features of aa's is very full lips and wide nose, so maybe that'll help you a bit? Also blood type - ask his pediatrician about that.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

B.,
Are you just curious? Head's up..mixed babies (even 100% AA babies) can look very light at birth and darken later (I think I remember reading that...)

I hope you can find out so you can seek financial support and know the medical history of your son's father.

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A.B.

answers from New York on

B., aside from a DNA test flip your little love over and see if he has what looks like a grey or bluish bruise above his butt, on tailbone. If he has that it is called a Mongolian Spot. Most children of mixed races AA, Asian or a race darker than caucasian have this spot up to about 3 years old. This at least could be helpful if you are thinking the father is a man of color. My son had the spot and all my friends who have mixed kids had it as well. Just as a side I had a blonde hair blue eyed AA friend since childhood and when she got married to a light skinned Haitian man their baby was a deep mocha green eyed baby, you can never predict the outcome, but they are all yummy. Enjoy your delicious son!

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R.J.

answers from New York on

I don't necessarily think you can go by what he looks like. I am white, and my husband is mixed. My baby looks white and no one would ever suspect that he is mixed. I think you have 2 choices 1. I'm sure there is some sort of DNA test you can get to find out 2. if you are the primary caregiver just raise him the way you want. Good luck!

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