Is My 13 Year Old TOO Busy???

Updated on October 05, 2012
A.M. asks from Atlanta, GA
16 answers

Hello Parents...

Just need input on whether or not my 13 year old, 8th grader has too much on her plate:
- Cheer practice - Tues and Thurs
---Games on Friday
- Swim practice, 1 hour after cheer
---Meets once a month, Saturday 4pm
- Performing Arts Training, every Saturday from 12 - 4
- Leadership Training - 1st Saturday of the month

Is this over the top?

Thanks!

Note:
After reading some of your responses, Id like to add that.... Im the one that is concerned... She on the other hand--is doing excellent in school, (AND Mandarin Chinese - one of the top students) and doesnt complain at all. Yes, MW are her down time days and she seems to be excited to have the opportunity to do it all. She has also expressed that swimming actually relieves pressure for her! (go figure)

So.... I asked the question, because I wanted to ensure I wasnt in the wrong for allowing her to take on so much.

What can I do next?

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J.W.

answers from Philadelphia on

If she wants to do all those activities and can also do well in school and you are able to run her around without complaint, then no, not over the top.

4 moms found this helpful
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D.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

It made me tired just reading this, don't forget school and homework and chores...

How about swim practice in the summer oh and the leadership and the performing arts also ...

How does she feel?

2 moms found this helpful

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B.S.

answers from Lansing on

It would be a lot in my family....BUT if its working for your daughter and she is capable of handling it all then so be it.

Good practice for when she gets older, plus it will look good if she decides to go for college scholarships.

3 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

If she loves what she is doing, is a good student, and doesn't seem to be overtired.....I think you are fine!
I probably wouldn't add anything else though!
L.

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S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

i dunno. if your kid isn't fried, and you can keep up, i guess it could work.
no way could i, or my pretty laid-back boys, have stayed sane with that much going on.
khairete
S.

3 moms found this helpful

A.G.

answers from Dallas on

My answer is the same as Suz T.'s. It wouldn't work in our family, but we are extremely laid back. My boys both treasure their home/family time, and being that busy would drive them/me insane. My son oldest son is also busy with academics all the time. I affectionately call him my nerd, and he doesn't have time for much other than studying.

My brother/SIL's family is more like what you describe. They are a very happy, close family, but they like being busy. Their 14yo daughter is a cheerleader, and is also involved in several other things. They are never at home, but it works for them. Different things work for different families.

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M.T.

answers from New York on

I have two teens. I think it really depends upon your daughter. Are her grades where they should be? If grades are suffering, activities have to go. Colleges are more interested in grades than activities. Also, does your daughter complain about lack of free time? If her activities are keeping her from socializing with friends and she is missing parties and school events, you may want to cut down. Kids and teens also need some absolute down time, time where they have nothing planned.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Depends on the child. If she likes these activities, does them of her own accord, and can keep up her grades and her responsibilities at home (chores etc.) as well as give her best effort at each activity, then no, she's fine. IMO, the busier they are, the better it is because there's less time to get in trouble. Her schedule looks pretty average to me for a kid her age but if she's tired or her grades suffer, it could be too much for her.

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K.B.

answers from Detroit on

I guess it depends on how well she is handling it...if she is keeping up her grades and not overtired or complaining or showing other signs of "burn-out", then I don't think it's that bad. Also, it's important that she enjoys these activities and is having fun, not feeling pressured or overwhelmed, and has that downtime to just unwind, hang out with friends, etc. I wish my stepsons were more involved in extracurriculars and stuff when they were that age and in high school - it might have kept them from having too much time on their hands and finding "entertainment" in other ways.

My daughter is only 5 but I have a feeling she is going to be the same kind of kid - happiest when she is busy and has plenty to do. Some kids just thrive on a schedule like that and others don't. I guess I would just ask your daughter how she feels about all of that and then go from there.

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B.

answers from Augusta on

yes.
That makes me tired just reading it.
You need to remember homework, chores, family time , friend time and DOWN TIME.
She has to have down time to keep you all sane.

1 mom found this helpful

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

It would be a lot for my son and me, but it seems like your daughter is handling it for right now.
That doesn't mean she will be able to keep it up as subjects get harder and activities get more advanced.
Just keep an eye on her and look for signs of stress.
I'm all for keeping teens busy to the hilt - it keeps them out of trouble.
I would not let her add another activity unless one of her current gets dropped.
It's all about keeping a balance.

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

How does she behave? Is she happy doing those things? Is she keeping her grades up? Is she healthy and sleeping well? Does she have time for friends? Does she have downtime? We usually limited the kids to 1 sport or activity per semester, but there were times when SS was particularly busy and theatre can be an all week every night til 7 thing in HS before a show. We made the rule that they had to keep up their grades and if they were consistently up til midnight on HW or getting sick all the time, something had to give. It sounds like she has MW and Sunday free but not a lot of Saturday time.

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J.T.

answers from Victoria on

I know I love my down time and my personal time to get everything calmed back down. Like my personality if I go shopping for a couple hours (gift shopping) it drains me looking at everything, talking to ppl. Idk I am just exausted. I could go camping all weekend and be surrounded with nature and be just fine. I really think its a personality thing. If she is enjoying it and likes to go, doing great in school, has friend time (she dosent have to cancell or miss plans because of other activities or vacations are missed so she can attend these things) I think its great. I would not add anything. If she wanted to do something else I would have her drop one other thing.

The Tues and Thurs looks kinda like a long day. Cheer practice an hour?? then swim for another hour?? is cheer practice in the morning. Or is she getting home after 8? Those might be big days for her, espically if she has home work too.

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K.B.

answers from Augusta on

Well it does sound like a lot!! My daughter recently turned 14, she's in 8th grade too. She's a majorette, she's on the SCA (student council association), she's in the Beta club, she's on volleyball team, (all this takes place after school at the High School she goes to, theyre in a proccess of building a new elementary school so 8-12 at the high school and 4-7 at the middle school until next year.) She is a pretty busy body and still has time to chill at home after school.

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S.S.

answers from Atlanta on

How do you and your daughter feel about it? Honestly it doesn't matter what we think. For some children this would be too much, others will thrive with the the routine and activities. Then you have to think about the family - is it putting a strain on you or your family? If you wish you had more family time or down time, consider scaling back. I am glad that she finds on of the activities relaxing - we all need that. If everyone is happy and enjoying it, then go for it!

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

when I was in HS I was so busy doing things at school I never left before 8pm. With sports and athletic training and everything going on I was super busy. But it kept me sane. I got good grades and didnt have any issues. It was at the end of the year when there were no sports that I didn't know what to do with myself. I think it is in my nature to always be going. I rarely have down time. Sometimes I like it and occasionally I wish I had some down time. But then that gets boring...

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