Is It Normal for My 14 Yo to Go with a Group of Friends

Updated on September 24, 2017
P.B. asks from Jennings, LA
21 answers

instead of a date to homecoming. this is something new to me. She was asked by several guys. Her friends weren't so she felt bad and decided to go with her friends

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So What Happened?

it's not that i want her to date at this age. when a boy and girl go at this age the parents bring them to and from the dance. it's just i never knew it was a common thing to do, for friends to go together. thanks for the answers. it helps a lot. she is my first child. and i am new at this

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A.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

Not only normal, but much better for her at this age. If she starts getting too serious with a boyfriend at this age, she could lose her group of girlfriends. So I would be very happy with her choice

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

Chances are she will have a much better time going with friends than a date. Believe it or not this is normal for going to the junior and senior prom as well.

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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

Very normal.. There has only been one occasion where one of my kids went to homecoming with a date. Otherwise they've always gone with friends. This is particularly common at her age, because many 14 year olds are not yet allowed to date yet anyway.

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C.N.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think it's great! 14 is way too young to make kids feel like they need to be on a date to go to a dance and have fun, let alone pressure them into a heterosexual pair.

ETA: You asked if it was "normal." Normal is going to depend on your town, your school, and your environment. (I am sure there are readers here who cringed at my implicit suggestion that young people might pair up in combinations other than boy-girl for a school event.) So none of us can really tell you that. You can see that it's totally appropriate, though.

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C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

Yes 100% normal. She will have much more fun with her friends. She's only 14!

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T.F.

answers from Dallas on

I've seen groups of girls and groups of boys go to prom and homecoming together vs a date.

What makes that a bad thing?

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

Very normal. And very sweet. She don't want her friends to feel left out!

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

What a lovely and considerate daughter you have raised! When so many girls get boy-crazy and abandon their friends, she has done the opposite. As long as she declined the invitations with grace and good manners, all is well.

Maybe she's not ready to date. That's actually a great thing! A lot of kids get pushed into these situations and just aren't comfortable with the small talk, the awkwardness of hand-holding or slow dancing, and whether to kiss goodnight. Good for her for resisting the pressure from boys, other peer groups and society in general.

Going with a group of friends is very common around here. Family members who are in their early 40s did this for prom in high school, and it continues now. My son did it a few years ago for prom and the senior ball. By senior year, there was some loose "pairing up" but it was mostly just kids on the track team going as a group of couples with zero romance involved. They paired up just to make sure every girl got a corsage and every boy got a boutonniere. They took photos in groups of couples but that was about it. It was great.

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L.M.

answers from New York on

It's more than "normal", it's a trend. My oldest went to prom with her best friend. They had a fabulous time. My youngest went to prom with 3 of her girlfriends, and had a wonderful time. I wish that was the trend 30 years ago.

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E.B.

answers from Honolulu on

Normal, and healthy, and appropriate. Good for her.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

My friends and I did this back in the 80s. It was way more fun.

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B.A.

answers from Columbus on

Totally normal. It's probably even better this way, and you should be grateful she, at the age of 14, was strong enough to say no to the guys who wanted to take her.

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D..

answers from Miami on

14 and going to homecoming? That's young...

Be glad she's going with a group of girls...she's too young to "date"...

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J.C.

answers from Anchorage on

Totally normal, especially at that age since 14 is pretty young for dating.

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L.H.

answers from Abilene on

I think it's very much the way it is now and I'm grateful. I encouraged my daugter in this from the beginning. Lots of kids choose this avenue. No pressure and having a fun time with great friends.

My daughter had her first boyfriend her senior year and decided it was taking too much time from her girlfriends and decided to just be friends.

In my opinion there's plenty of time for all of that when you're actually mature enough to handle it. Let them be kids. That's what they are and it's the shortest, most precious time of their lives. 😊

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B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Sounds normal to me!
What are you worried about?
Who in their right mind wants their 14 yr old dealing with dating already?

Additional:
Even back in the day (70's) when I was in school - teens went out in groups and/or with family pretty much everywhere.
Only towards senior year did I start dating and really for me it was more a college thing.

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M.G.

answers from Portland on

Yup. One of mine goes with his group of buds to stuff like that.

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S.L.

answers from Denver on

My dd went with friends also as did most the other groups of kids. I've heard that some schools with a lot of gang activity require a date because it cuts down on conflicts, but where we live that's not a problem.
Your dd probably thought she'd have more fun with friends too. 14 is still very young, why push it with the whole dating thing?
I'm glad my dd went with friends, she's very young for her age and I think she would have felt very uncomfortable with a one on one date.
I went to high school in the 70's and a date was required, groups of kids didn't go together back then, but a lot of people were left out. Of course back then, the boys had to ask the girls and it was sad that some never got asked.

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M.M.

answers from Boston on

Hello!

Perfectly normal...My friends and I did this back in the '70s (glad to see some things haven't changed)

Hope she has(or had) a great time!!!

N.G.

answers from Boston on

I am divorced and an empty Nestor. I have found that I enjoy celebrating holidays and my birthday alone. stages of life ...

... I prefer this for teens and young adults

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N.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

14 is waaaayyyy too young to date. They don't have the mental ability to recognize when things are getting out of control and if the guy is not being nice...you know what I mean.

Girls that young that date get a bad reputation. My girl is that age and she tells me all the time. There is one girl in their class that goes on dates almost every weekend, by herself with her boyfriend. According to more than half the school they go places just to have sex. They even sneak to his house or her house when moms aren't home. This girl is a sweet pretty naive girl and I truly don't think she's doing this but the gossip is out there just because she spends a lot of alone time with a boy.

Our girl knows she isn't allowed to go on alone dates until she's 16. Group activities before then. If she wants to spend time with one boy she does it at our house with us present or at his house with his parent there.

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