Insecure 7 Yr Old Girl

Updated on May 04, 2010
L.L. asks from Altamonte Springs, FL
4 answers

Hello - my daughter is almost 8 and super insecure about her body!! I don't know what to do. :-( she's always been a little chubby but NO where near fat. She has been having major meltdowns about her shirts being too tight and "showing all her body parts" as she puts it. Her shirts are NOT tight. Not at all, they fit. I would not make my daughter wear tight shirts. The problem is, she wants to wear her jacket to school every day! If anyone lives in central FL, you know the high lately has been in the 90's. Also she wears a uniform to school ... her shirts are collared polo shirts. With only one month left of school .. I can't afford to go out and buy new shirts in a bigger size when the shirts she has are by no means tight. I feel for her. It makes me so sad. I tell her ALL THE TIME how beautiful she is and how everyone has different body shapes. That she is NOT fat , that she is normal and beautiful. She even gets upset and says that I'm skinnier than her .. :-( she is VERY active, she never sits around and watches TV, we're constantly bike riding or she is playing outside with her friends. We're always on the go. Her diet is "ok" ... we eat healthy most of the time. But she is a kid - I'm not going to deprive her of chicken nuggets once in a while... What can I do to help her feel better about herself?? Please help.

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So What Happened?

Just from reading a few comments - I think I'll just take her tonight and buy a few extra shirts. I feel so bad for her :(

More Answers

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K.R.

answers from Denver on

Why not buy a few shirts that are bigger and then she can use them again next year???? I bet there are some great books out there for girls going through this same thing. I would check it out.

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K.T.

answers from Columbus on

My daughter when through this at the same age. She and was chubby though. I just kept saying, "This is normal because you’re going to have a growth spurt and your body is preparing for it. When it happens you will thin out and get taller." She is now 14 and beautiful. She is taller and slim. It will happen you will see. In the meantime you might have to get the bigger shirts because kids can be mean. Unfortunately, if she gets humiliated by the tight shirts, kids don't let it go to quickly. The one on the receiving end and the one on the giving end. These things tend to stick. It is just not worth it. She has to be able to feel good about herself in public, just like the rest of do.

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C.P.

answers from Provo on

My daughter was always a chubby kid and she used to come home crying and saying, "Mom, they called me fat." I would just say, "Do you think you are fat?" Then I would explain to her how it is really other people's problem with themselves if they have to tease you to make themselves feel better. I told her that she will grow and everything will change. I always wanted her to feel that I was there for her and I would support everything she chose to do. I think that little girls look up to their mothers a whole lot. Sometimes it does not seem like it but they watch everything we do. Go to the store without makeup or go in the front yard in a robe. Show her that looks are not everything. Keep her active. My daughter and I went to the gym together every day on summer. We loved it and it was an excellent way to bond. I taught her about healthy foods and now she eats a whole lot better than I do. She worked out with a trainer with me and that got her really motivated. My daughter is 19 now and is taller then I am! I think girls have it really tough and just teach her that a smile is so much more important to true friends.

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F.C.

answers from Tampa on

Sounds like your daughter is a younger version of my eldest. She is 13 and HAS to wear a jacket to school daily and we are in Central Fl also. So what I did was get her a few Lighter weight zip-up jackets, especially since I went to the Middle School and even the High School and saw Most of the girls doing that....I swear these girls have no common sense lol

Let her do as she wishes with the shirts, maybe go up a size so they fit her looser (my daughters ALL hate shirts that "fit" they like them loose). i can't stand anything up by my neck, it's just me.

As for her body image, have you taken her to the Pedi and if possible ask them to talk to her, she maybe need to hear someone else say something. Maybe a nurse if the Dr is a male, I know it helped my daughter to hear other females tell her positive things. If she is concerned then why not join the Y and do some of the classes together, like a Yoga class. This way it is something just for the 2 of you.

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