How to Help Hubby Not Feel Depressed???

Updated on January 03, 2011
J.B. asks from Gilbert, AZ
6 answers

Okay momma's I have a question about my hubby and need your advice.

My husband has been in the mortgage industry for 15 years and we have been together for 5 years now. Ever end of the year is a very hard time for us because business gets slow with pepople focusing on the holidays and not refi-ing homes or buying homes. So now this year we have moved to Arizona away from all our family and it has been our first year away. So this slow stump has really taken a toll on my hubby because we do not have friends or family here to keep him distracted during this slow time. He has become really bored at home being here with me and the two girls. He feels not productive, lazy, and just antsy and ready to just get back into having conversations meeting new people and helping people.So how to I find people that may have questions about refi or purchasing a home, how things might affect them buying or refiing a home so my husband can feel productive and get his mojo back rather than feeling like a housedad. And in the same token these people would get the advice they wanted without the sales pitch or the pressure from speaking with someone that only wanted to speak with them because they wanted the loan. Hope you can help because I am 38 weeks pregnant and trying to help him so I can have my sanity back and not have to worry about everyone but myself. Thanks and thank you for reading this long post

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T.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

You sound like a very sweet and loving wife, however, most men don't like when their wife tries to get too involved in their work life. I would say it is best to let him figure out what he wants to do to keep his mind busy when business is slow. He may find a hobby he likes to do that will help him feel productive or just helping out more with the kids, etc.

1 mom found this helpful
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R.R.

answers from Dallas on

As a young mother i would recomened forums online or community mixers. Tell him to step out of his comfort zone and he will build his contact list. A tip from a small business owner is make it a goal to gain at least one contact everyday even if from the super market and make at leat one call everyday. This is a golden rule and always works. Good luck with ur pregnancy.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

honestly, it's his job & I think you should let him find the answers.....or he may just end up accusing you of butting in!

1 mom found this helpful
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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I agree with the moms who say "his job, his issue."
Is he in any networking groups? Can he find a very PT job that's a "no brainer" but will get him out & about (and meeting new people.....)?

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J.B.

answers from Detroit on

My goal in my business in order to be productive and build my business is to talk to at least 3 people each day. I make sure to leave a business card every place I go. My company offers us a web site at a really good price so I also keep that going and updated monthly. I work from home and I heard a quote at a conference training that I love. "Your Mouth is your Office so always keep it open" and I try to do just that. My business is a health and wellness company and since everyone has skin or hair and most people these days are trying to find natural and healthy alternatives to what they are using or taking I can always find a place in a conversation to talk about the products. I love to help people and I love to talk so together those two things keep me motivated. I have also learned that you must have a plan B even if you work at a job that is steady. My SAH work at home job is the plan B for my family and I look forward to the day when it is plan A. Good Luck to you and just keep supporting him emotionally and help him find contacts when you can.

D.B.

answers from Boston on

Opportunity is not going to knock on the door just because he's home. He needs to get out into the community to meet people in a non-threatening way. He should do any and all of the following:

join a newcomers club
join a church or synagogue
join a community chorus or drama group
volunteer - at the senior center, at Habitat for Humanity, at the food pantry, on a town board or committee, with the Scouts, coaching a team, cleaning up the local nature area or town cemeteries, whatever. Volunteering is a key way to show your skills, personality, and get to meet new people - exciting and interesting and active people are attracted to others the same way.
write a column for the local paper on mortgages, refinancing in challenging times, how the new banking and credit laws affect home ownership, etc.
Take or teach an adult ed course - often the community colleges or the vocational schools run evening classes.
Take a dance class - okay, maybe not good at your stage of pregnancy, but someone else may be reading this who can use it now!
Join a gym - leave business cards at their networking center.
Join a BNI or other business networking group - he can advertise his services, and members usually refer to each other.

Other than the BNI which is specifically designed to drum up business, the other activities will get him into normal social activities and expand his network of contacts. The more he gets out there, the happier he will be, the more he will meet new friends and develop a social life. Being someone who contributes to others is a very attractive and admirable thing - it makes others feel you are honest, caring, and someone they'd like to be around.

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