My question is how to keep the kids from purposely irrating each other....They seem to really enjoy making the other miserable. This is driving me crazy but they don't seem to care.
try giving them a chore to do that you need done but will make them work together. A good example is put them on either side of window and have them clean it. While cleaning they will irritate each other and complain, but as they work, they will also make each other laugh and compete on who can get their side the cleanest. End result, they learn to work together and you get clean windows!
I agree w/the one mom....one-on-one timew/each kid. Tath said, kids fight. If you have siblings, I'm sure you remember fightingw/them. As much as we hate it, it's part of being siblings. They can't always get along. I'm sure you don't like them being mean & rude to each other but I suggest you try to stay out of it, unless blood is being shed. The more involved you get the more they expect you take sides which you just can't do. encourage them to work it out. Maybe have them take some time away from each other. Hope this helps & good luck!
My 3 children are around the same ages. You can give them consequences if they contine and/or you can help them learn a different way to relate.
And, perhaps learn to see you, and how this is affecting you. My son, 14, went to live with my parents last year because I was unable to hold too much fighting. I actually began getting migranes!
What my self and all three of my children have done are a few things. One. In Sacramento is a workshop for kids called Harmony. This was a huge awakening for the children. They were given new tools. And they learned about accountability and much much more. There are other programs like this but this one is really good. I have a list of some and contact info.
Second, one on one time with each child. Meeting them where they are now, and really talking, helps establish a ground for reflection. We talk thru the experiences that are both working and not working as a family and make different agreements. When I talk with my children one on one like this and really check in through individual activities especially at this age... we begin estabilishing a new kind of relationship. One that will take us thru the teen years and into adulthood.
Blessings.
Alexis
You can't. It's their job as teenagers to do that. They'll eventually grow out of it and like each other again. Just try to ignore it as best as you can as long as they aren't hurting each other! Good luck and maybe go for a massage to soothe your shattered nerves!
When you find out I would really like to know I go through the same thing every day, Fighting ,name calling, irritating ,
They love it, it's like this is their purpose in life!!
