20 answers

How Do You Hide Your Pregnancy at Work Before You're Ready to Announce???

Hi, I just found out I was pregnant about a week ago and I'm in my 7th week with all of my symptoms coming on strong! I work in an office with a lot of different people crossing my desk and working closely with me everyday. I'm trying to keep my pregnancy a secret until I'm ready, but I'm having a really hard time considering that if I'm not constantly eating then I'm sick, and when I'm constantly eating I have to keep leaving the room because I'm sick or have to run to the bathroom. I keep saying that I think I've eaten some bad chinese food or something, but this can't last forever. What suggestions do you have until I'm ready to spill the beans?
*Side question - my face has also been really red and really hot the past 2 days - anyone else ever had that happen during pregnancy?

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

First of all, thanks to everyone for the great advice! After going to the doctor last week and finding out that I'm really only about 6 weeks pregnant rather than 8, I've decided that I really should wait longer before announcing it to everyone just in case something doesn't go right. However, I did have a few people ask me one on one and I followed your advice by not denying it but saying that I wasn't announcing it yet and they've all been great with not telling. I also told the manager of the department I was helping with the last few weeks (simply because it was REALLY effecting my job) and he was very understanding, and then the ones that I don't see a lot like the guy who joked about it because he saw me munching on pretzels, I joked it off saying I was about 8 months and would need the rest of the summer off of work. So far so good though, and I really appreciate all of your responses and advice. Thanks!

Featured Answers

Well, it sounds like I am in the minority,but I was able to hide my first pregnancy from most until I was almost 17 weeks. With carefully chosen clothes and crackers, the only thing I couldn't hide was how dreadfully tired I was. My close friends I told, but most others were either not too observant or I was not too noticable (wasn't showing much, crackers kept the sickness down and I didn't have to run to the b.room until the baby was big enough that she pressed on my bladder: 3 tri). My sister had horrible sickness and actually wore a motion sickness braclet and she was able to hide hers too. Hope that helps.

More Answers

I wasn't ready to tell my co-workers and managed to hide my pregnancy until I was 14 weeks along, so it can be done. I found sucking on Lemon Heads, doing the unisom/B12 thing and drinking lots of water helped. I told everyone I was trying to be healthier by drinking more water- which explained the bathroom trips. I recommend waiting until you're comfortable before letting the people in your workplace know. Congratulations and good luck :)

I had the same problem with my first. You don't. Hate to tell you that. People aren't stupid. By the time I told, everyone told me they figured so. You can only throw up so many times before people figure out it wasn't the Chinese food. :) You might talk to your doctor about Phenergan or something like that for the nausea and vomiting. If you explain your problem, they might be able to help out. The plus side is, if you're so sick, at least you won't be gaining weight, so your belly won't give you away! :) You can always say that you're seeing a doctor for the problem, and they're seeing what they can do for you. You can even say you don't have a diagnosis, unless you actually do know the diagnosis for nausea and vomiting due to pregnancy. Congratulations! I would just sit back and look forward to your little bundle of joy. Those hormones making you so sick are a really good sign!

I was never able to hide my pregnancies (3 kids now) from my co-workers. I was just too sick. But I really wanted to since I miscarried my first, but statistically you wont miscarry if you are sick. I called my doctor by 8 weeks and told him I needed medication. There are many suggestions for nausea, but I have only one: Zofran takes the edge off and has no side effects.
Note- your nausea peaks at 9 weeks and subsides by 13 weeks for most people, not me, but MOST people.
Congratulations and good luck!

My first baby I miscarried at 8 weeks, so I had to tell everyone I was pregnant that way...and then nobody knew how to respond to me (we always tell our family right away, so that isn't an issue). Sadly (or maybe luckily as it was not a good place to work), I was asked to leave a week later. I quickly got hired in an MD office full of ladies and I pulled my boss aside once I found I was pregnant again (she knew I lost the 1st and had had preg problems herself) and let her know. She was astonished that I was even considering NOT telling her early (my hubby was worried I'd get fired because of it...had only been there a few months) and said she'd be my support system and helped me tell the other girls (worked in an office with all girls and 1 male MD)...I'm glad I told her early because I did have some early bleeding again and was needing to stay in bed and go to MD appointments lots, so she knew and was able to keep me positive. I guess it depends on the support you will have in those around you. If your boss is a grumpy, non-family-oriented person, then I guess hiding it would be the best (like my 1st job)...but if you work in a place like I did the 2nd time, it was well-worth it having everyone know. They will help cover phones or work if you need to run to the bathroom and help make sure you are not doing things (like lifting heavy thing) that you shouldn't be doing. The only down-side was it made the pregnancy feel like an eternity to them because they knew from about 6 weeks on...

Hi!! and Congrats!! I am also pregnant and due December 12, and am so excited!. I work in a place that reqiures me to lift heavy stuff so I had to tell my work right away. I was very scared to do so since I was still so early, but it has worked out great! Everyone is so helpful, and I believe too that people to will figure it out soon as well. I had some family I had not told yet and had dinner with them and instantly asked if I was. I have the red checks, lol very fun as well as feeling sick all day as well. I hope for the best for you, and again.... big Congrats!!!!!

AHHH HAHAHAHHAAAA! So funny! But I've been there too. Let me just say that for you, this is a huge deal, and for everyone else who has been there, they understand the intense time and preoccupation you will have with it. You are probably researching baby seats and thinking about babyproofing your house. :D It's good to be excited and worried and completely natural.

If you let people know, they can help. If you don't then they just have to pretend along with you. But, for the work place, they'll just want to know one thing: what are your plans after the baby.

Have you tried chewing gum? That helped me quite a bit, also try not taking your prenatal vitamins for a couple of days and see if that helps easy the throwing up. You will find that you do need extras of certain vitamins and minerals but the prenatal isn't the only way to get it. My DR. kept me off of them because I was so sick I was loosing weight. Not a good start. If stopping them helps stop the sickness then just let your DR. know. Plus there are a lot of different ones and sometimes you can just change the type you take.
Congratulations.

The hot flushed face is probably the extra burst of hormones you've got now. I don't remember a red face, but I got hot flashes while I was preggo w/both of mine. Like the other response said, you probably can't hide it-especially if you've got the yuck feeling all of the time. Avoid Coke-it hurts when it comes back up! And take your prenatals at night w/food-they stay down better that way. *stepping off my soapbox*
Have you ever had a candy dish on your desk? Try stocking it w/suckers & mints now. Or maybe bring in a candy dish, fill it w/M&Ms or something non-pregnant first & "wow, I can't believe it's gone already!" dump it into a baggie on day 2 & put hard candies in instead. Peppermint tea might help w/the nausea too-ginger is kind of iffy from what I've heard. Throw in some lime & mint sprigs & pretend you're having a mojito at work! Maybe that will keep them from catching on too fast. If you're already symptomatic though, just tell the office gossip & she'll take care of telling everyone for you & you can (try to) deny til you're ready to spill!
Don't wear baggy clothes either, if that's not what you're already wearing-that's a dead giveaway. Wear what you've got, let them see you're eating a bit more & try to claim you've suddenly discovered this great place to eat & you've been going there so much you guess it's starting to show.
I went in for a job interview 5 mos pregnant & my manager/interviewer had NO idea I was pregnant-even w/the obvious maternity top I was wearing. Maybe you'll get lucky like that & they'll all be so unobservant..
Good luck Mama!

One thing I want to add to every one's previous advice, is don't tell just one or 2 good friends at work and expect people not to figure it out. I had a coworker and twice I knew she was pregnant before she told the rest of our coworkers or her boss because, the first time, I over heard her talking to her friends (my cubicle was right there), and the second time, another coworker mentioned it to me, not knowing she hadn't told me yet. Personally, I waited about 2 months. I couldn't wait the whole 3 that some do. I wasn't very sick, and shared a work space with a clueless male, though. And I told my direct supervisor first, then everyone else. The same friend I mentioned above let her sup hear it through the grapevine. Not a good idea.

lol. people will figure it out. i once asked a friend if she was pregnant simply because i saw her eating crackers during church two sundays in a row. when she told me how early in the pregnancy she was, i chose not to tell anyone. hopefully you'll luck out that the people who guess it won't gossip about it. and for the people who do ask you, you can always say something like, "yes, but we're not really telling people yet."
we were still trying to figure out how to tell our parents about a pregnancy in a creative way when my brother called one day. he asked how i was and since it was winter i figured it couldn't hurt to tell him i hadn't been feeling well for a few days. jokingly, he asked if i was pregnant and even though i'd thought i could lie about it, i found that i couldn't and my sheepish "yes" came out too fast. he chuckled and said, "so is my wife! that's why we called you!" we just laughed about it and he kept the secret so we could tell everyone else when we wanted.

You can try to hide it and most people will be polite and ignore it, but I bet when you do tell them most will tell you they alread knew. I got red faced with both pregnancies but it didn't get hot. It's just a "pregnancy" mask rosacia out break that happens durring pregnancy to some women. Best thing to do is not draw attention to it, don't give an explanation unless someone asks. I never was good at fibbing so that's what I had to do.

I can completely understand your want to wait to tell people until you are ready. I had to deal with an early miscarriage and I was glad no one knew I was even pregnant until afterwards. So after that I wanted to make sure my next pregnancy was stable before I spread the word. When people asked me if I was pregnant before I was ready to tell them I would make a joke out of it. I said everything from "Yes, with twins and I am due on Tuesday. Can you cover my job until then?", to "Well, my dog is, maybe I am having sympathy symptoms" I was not showing and it was not obvious that I was pregnant, so they laughed and let it drop.

Good Luck and Congratulations

Well, it sounds like I am in the minority,but I was able to hide my first pregnancy from most until I was almost 17 weeks. With carefully chosen clothes and crackers, the only thing I couldn't hide was how dreadfully tired I was. My close friends I told, but most others were either not too observant or I was not too noticable (wasn't showing much, crackers kept the sickness down and I didn't have to run to the b.room until the baby was big enough that she pressed on my bladder: 3 tri). My sister had horrible sickness and actually wore a motion sickness braclet and she was able to hide hers too. Hope that helps.

First, put a big cup of water on your desk. You need to stay hydrated, but also you could just be running to the bathroom to pee. Second, act normal. The more you think about it and look around to see who is noticing what, the move obvious it becomes - oh, and don't make the throw up face or actions, and don't explain yourself. And finally, so what if everyone already knows when you decide to announce. Don't feel guilty for saying no to people who ask if you are pregnant. They may joke about it, but if you aren't showing most people will keep their mouths shut. This is your pregnancy and you get to announce when you feel like it, don't feel pressured.

I wanted to tell my family in person, and we happened to be visiting down there when I was 8 weeks and wouldn't be back till 20 weeks, so we told them then. Because my family knew, my husband's "had" to know, and once we told them, it was out, so we told our works too. I felt forced into telling before I was ready, but now know that next time I will only do it when I am ready and in my own time.

Trust me when I say this.......they already know. My boss knew before I did because his wife had been preg. before. If anyone in your office has had a preg. woman in their life they already know. You probably give off the vibe. I understand wanting to wait and tell them but you mine as well just go ahead and tell them.

Is there a reason you don't want to have people at work now you're pregnant? Are you worried about extra unwanted attention or advice? Are you worried that it could affect your job standing? (Legally it can't unless it actually interferes with your ability to perform the job, which is very rare in the degree that it could legally affect your standing.) Or are you worried that word could get to your extended family or other community (church, etc) before you're ready to tell them?

It may be better to let at least your boss know that you're pregnant. If he/she hasn't already guessed, it could actually relieve some issues. He may be worried about you being sick, or even if you are not reliable anymore. He should give you a bit more leeway knowing that you're pregnant. I told my boss before other co-workers and he was more understanding when I was late or missed several days (I hardly ever missed work, so when co-workers saw I was gone they started worrying and asked him then if I was ok- he told them but I was okay with it).
I would suggest that you don't make up any more stories - they won't believe the bad chinese food thing much longer (if they even do now) and you will loose respect or trust with them for not telling the truth. (This can happen before they know what the truth is, and some people may assume the worse. Respect/trust is lost before you 'spill the beans' and may be hard to gain back afterwards.)

well M. m,
Congrats!!! try sipping on jamba juice through out the day!!

I'm with almost everyone else, I think work already knows...sorry to burst your bubble... Tell your boss, if he/she already suspected then just ask them to keep it quiet so that you can wait to tell family but then at least you can get a break from the constant excusitis. The red face is pretty normal, good ole hormones, that should subside a bit as your body gets used to being pregnant, then again, it may not and you could have the red face off and on until this little bundle is born. Being sick is a good thing. Higher hormone levels cause sickness generaly speaking and usually mean everythings going alright. I had 2 miscarrages and was not sick a single day with either of them but my 4 boys that I carried, I puked all the way through till the day they were born.. it never went way. There is the Unisom and vitamin B12 trick, you can take 1/2 a Unisom tablet and a vitamin B12 tablet at bed time and it helps with the nausea, then take another B12 in the morning. Also take your prenatals with a BIG meal. The Unisome/B12 trick is actually a prescription thing in Canada called Diclectin that they use for morning sickness but they don't have it in the US they just use over the counter, but thats what I used when I had my last baby in Idaho. All the rest of my kids were born in Canada so I used the prescription stuff so its safe. Good luck and Congrats!!

I think that people are too nosy. I only told one co-worker around 9weeks. When my clothes stopped fitting me i started to change my dress code by wearing soft flowy dresses only. Then one day another co-worker asked me and swear that she would not tell no one -- i told her yes that was around 17weeks. Now i am 29weeks and people that never used to talk to me before asking me when i'm due, how my belly is SO BIG and if my other kids are exicited -- like if it their concern! Actually i dont want to answer those questions and i am looking for smart quips to shut them up and encourage them to mind their own business.

Since I worked with mostly men none of them noticed anything and I wasn't really trying to hide it :-). I wanted to respond though to your comment below about being excited and scared. I was the same way-I was really nervous my whole pregnancy. I took lots of classes which was great-breastfeeding, happiest baby on the block, CPR for infants-those things and I would defiitely recommend that. But, when my little girl was born it was the greatest day of my life (despite the 18 hours of labor and eventual c-section). And every day since has been the happiest of my life. Mothering came very natural to me and I am not the nesting type at all. It might not be this way for everyone, I'm sure other people might disagree, but I found that I just knew how to take care of her generally speaking. I asked friends a lot of questions and welcomed lots of advice and viewpoints but at the end of the day it is you and your baby and it really is so amazing. It is lots of fun. If I knew then what I know now I wouldn't have worried at all. And I know me saying all this won't stop you from being a little nervous but I do hope it helps a little. You are going to be a great mom and trust me, you are going to love it!

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