How Do I Get My 2 Year Old to Lay down in Bed and Fall Asleep W/o Rocking Him?

Updated on March 19, 2008
R.B. asks from Lees Summit, MO
14 answers

My son just turned 2 in February. Ever since he was born, my husband and I have rocked him to sleep. He stays asleep well when we put him in his crib, however he's too big to keep doing this! I would like to put him in bed and have him fall asleep on his own without getting upset or playing for too long. As of right now, he is potty trained (as of 4 weeks ago yesterday), so before we started potty training I could put him in his crib at nap awake and he may have cried for 10 min. or so but would play around in his crib and eventually fall asleep. However, when we started potty training, I felt that he needed to go to sleep right away so he would have less tendency to have to go Pee Pee before he feel asleep. Therefore, I started rocking him again. Since he hasn't had an accident in 2 weeks I felt that it was time again to just lay him down in his crib, let him cry for a while then eventually he would fall asleep. However, today we read a story before I layed him down at 12:10pm in his crib awake and by 2:05pm he was still crying and playing around in his crib! My 7 month olds room is right next door to his so when I layed him down around 2pm today I went ahead and got my 2 year old out of bed so he didn't wake his brother since he was still crying. Now we are stuck in this routine of rocking to sleep and unaware of how to break it! HELP!!!

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A.C.

answers from St. Louis on

Enjoy. A stranger is in the house. so the attention is being shared. Colten need to be told what has happened and mommie and daddy still love you. Colten, is 2years old, so he need to be told and shown that he is not loved any less. Little kissing, and hugging even the more now until he get adjusted to the stranger in the house that now cry and get the attention.

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T.C.

answers from St. Joseph on

I would enjoy every minute that you have and rock him as long as he wants you to. You will wake up very soon and he will be all grown up and wish you had those times all over again. Enjoy them while they are little and not stepping on your heart.
IN LOVE..."T"

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A.G.

answers from Wichita on

Stay with it. Eventually he will fall asleep. My son did the same thing. I have been have some of the same problem with him. I just had to take all of his toys away from him, and leave him there. I ended up laying him down for 30 minutes to an hour. If he did not fall asleep I let him play for a little while longer, and start it over again. Keep it up. It may take a week, but he will get the hang of it. My biggest obstacle was that my son and daughter share the same room. You will be able to work it out though. Remember you are the best mom that your kids will ever have.

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N.L.

answers from Columbia on

I went through this with my son and I found as he got older the rocking seemed to stimulate and keep him awake rather than make him drowsy.
The technique that worked for me is: To wean him off the rocking, each night I would rock him less and less before putting him down until eventually I was just holding him and not rocking at all. (example: still hold him for ten minutes but only rock for five of them and then just hold him for the other five) Then I was just holding, no rocking, him for five minutes at the most(this is important, no more than five minutes) and then would put him in his crib. Now if your son is used to being rocked for a long period of time he will most likely get upset when you stop doing this. Of course my son started throwing a fit when he wasnt getting his usual rocking time so I had to let him cry. If he cried for more than say ten minutes I would go in, tell him it is time to sleep, and gently lay him back down and leave. I went in at five, ten, fifteen, etc intervals and did this consistently until he was asleep. (make sure you do no other talking, just 'its time to nap' or 'its time to go to sleep') Eventually we replaced book time with the cuddle time and my son goes right to sleep! I found when I stopped the rocking he stopped needing/wanting it. Now he is like if you arent going to rock me then just put me in the bed. Yeh!
Make sure you are having smooth transitions also, this helps a lot and of course the consistent rituals-bath, book, bed or whatever yours may be. You cant really control the playing in the crib except by limiting the number of toys. Also I realized as my son got older he needed more physical activity to get him good and tired for his nap. Hope this helps!

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M.M.

answers from Wichita on

This rocking time may be his way to have that one on one time with you alone since the baby came. Just love hime as long as you can and these will be wonderful memories for you both.

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L.G.

answers from St. Louis on

Sounds like you have a real problem on your hands. My past experience has been that children (esp. at 2 yrs old) are VERY habitual creatures. If your 2 yr old is used to being rocked to sleep, he will continue to expect that. I think your options are: wait till "he" decides to break the rocking cycle on his own (don't hold your breath) or unfortunately, you might have to help him by allowing him to fall asleep on his own (which could result in crying on both sides..yours and his! It's gonna be hard because he's going to think you've abandoned him because he's used to being rocked to sleep. You could also consult your child's doctor to see if he/she has any suggestions on the subject and the internet might have some helpful hints as well. I hope you can find an answer soon.

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R.C.

answers from Wichita on

I don't see what the big deal is, just rock him to sleep. I'm not a CIOer, 2 hours of crying sounds pretty cruel to me. Even if my 3 year old is tantruming, I wouldn't leave her alone for 2 hours, I'd be working with her to resolve whatever is making her unhappy.

Remember that potty training is a big step, maybe he is needing more attention in other ways now. Often an achievement comes with regression in some other area.

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L.B.

answers from Wichita on

Hi R...
I had the same issue with my youngest son. I always rocked him, I loved it, he loved it, but my back didn't after awhile! I think you are on the right track by putting him in his bed, even though he didn't get a nap in. Maybe give him a book to look at when you lay him down? Keep up the consistency with putting him in his bed, it may take a few days....you'll get the habit broken! I remember it taking maybe even a week or more to get my son completely weaned from the rockin chair...Hang in there!

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L.W.

answers from Kansas City on

I am 46, have two children aged 22 (daughter who is married)and 17 (son who is a JR in high school). I personally think you are expecting too much all at once, a two year old is still part baby as far as I'm concerned. I rocked both my kids (wonderful memories and bonding time), and miss that now. Be proud that your 2 year-old is potty trained, revel in that accomplishment and keep on rocking! My dad said that loving children isn't spoiling them. We see too many insecure kids and teenagers now...invest your time as a mom by helping your two year-old feel secure in your arms in the rocking chair. I don't think you'll regret it down the road. Before you know it, your two year-old will be 5 and will no longer require a rocking chair.

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E.M.

answers from Kansas City on

If he is 2 years old and potty trained maybe it is time for a big boy bed. My son started having problems with his crib at 18 months old. As soon as we put him in a regular bed all our troubles were gone. Dont know if it will work for you but it did wonders for us! Hope that helps. E.

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A.S.

answers from Kansas City on

The "No Cry Sleep Solution" book helped us out a lot with this. It gives you a step by step plan for helping your children learn to fall asleep on their own. We used it for our 2 year old having the same problem, and then also for our younger son who was waking through the night still at 10 months. The younger you can start teaching them, the better!

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R.K.

answers from St. Louis on

It's possible that he's just not ready for a nap at noon. He's older now and maybe isn't tired until a little later. Try pushing his nap back an hour or two or just watching for signs that he's tired (but not yet cranky) and put him down for a nap then. I remember getting so frustrated rocking my son to sleep for a nap - when he was a baby - because it was naptime. I rocked him for two hours for a half hour nap! Obviously, he was not ready for a nap. I know naps are as much for us moms as they are for the kids, but if you have to work that hard to get your child to sleep, it just may not be worth it. Kids change all the time and you just have to keep up and roll with it!

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S.M.

answers from St. Louis on

There are several things happening here, first he is old enough to start teaching him some incentive movements. This means you can negociate with him to do something by offering him an incentive-not a bribe-this means no special thing he likes (like food or fav toy) something like he can help choose what vegetable you will serve for dinner this evening or he may be allowed extra play time with a special game he likes and of course you approve. Some kids love to start coloring at this age keep that in mind or building blocks.You want to set up a job chart so he knows when he will earn these things like the next day or a special time. Place it where he can see it but not adjust it-only you are allowed to "write" or place the figures on the chart however it is very important for him to "read" it with you and check it by himself. Now this whole process takes time for you to introduce it and that may be some days-but it does work only if you really are strict with the program-if he does not do what he needs then don't give in and yes that means some noise along the way and LOTS of reminders from you about how this will go. Praise him when he does it only from this perspective-"you should be really proud of yourself you did a great job!" This will build his self esteem and prepare him for school which is so soon you will miss those times when you rocked him by the way it really does feel good to rock and they grow up so fast you won't even see it coming when he tells you "Mom I don't do that I'm a big boy now". Good luck and maybe there is room for the 7 month old to join you two and have a group hug and rock session sometimes. Music is good to sooth also-is there a radio in his room where you can set a soothing staion? a put it really low so he has to stay really still to hear it.... Good luck to you and enjoy those babies while you can. :)

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S.D.

answers from Topeka on

Find him something that will help him self soothe himself,I wouldn't say a pacifier at this age if he doesn't take one but a Blankie he need's to aquire some self soothing,but for now lay him down for a nap and let him cry it out it may take a few day's but he'll be fine.

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