How Can I Get My Son to Sleep on His Own?

My daughter also would only fall asleep while nursing, and wanted to sleep with us. At twelve months we weaned her and yes, there was a lot of crying. She would cry until she threw up, it was awful. But then she discovered the pacifier, which she never had wanted before (because she had been able to nurse), and she fell in love. She would take the paci at night (and only at night, she wasn't allowed to have it during the day) and could fall asleep on her own. Now, at two, she still falls asleep in her own bed with her paci. We're still working on sleeping through the night though!

N.,

My daughter suffers from the same thing, comfort feeding. I'm actually going to give up pumping as of this week due to my flow decreasing after an extended vacation w/ out access to pump as frequently as I'd like. I even tried the fenugreek vitamins, but still see no change. I am only pumping about an ounce and a half, yet my Daughter still seems to get enough to satisfy her thirst!! I initially started pumping 7 - 8oz. per bottle (3 bottles) and nursing in the AM before work and after work. Then I went down to 4oz. recently, and within the last two weeks since my mini vacation (a weekend), my flow has decreased.

When you do find a cure to diminish comfort feeding let me know. I'd be curious to try.

Try sticking in his crib a shirt or something of youres that has your scent on it. Start with giving him a bottle before he goes to sleep. I know you are breastfeeding but using a bottle that is shaped like a mom's nipple will work. VentAire bottles are the greatest. They have ones that are shaped like a mother's nipple. Having something with your scent in the crib will help out alot too. I had that problem with my son. He wouldn't fall asleep unless he was in my bed. Afterwards I would move him to the crib and he would ake up. My doctor suggested try having a shirt or something in the crib would work. After a week he was falling asleep in the crib no problem

This is what I did at the recommendation of my Pediatrician, since I couldn't handle the crying. It's a version of "The no cry sleep solution" which you can find on Amazon.com. I started by either nursing or giving a bottle when he was still awake, awake enough so he wouldn't fall asleep, with the lights on. Then I read a story, and rocked him until he fell asleep, laid him down and left. Then a few nights later (maybe 4 or 5) I rocked him until his eyes were fluttering, but he wasn't asleep for like a week, while laying him down slightly awake. Then I rocked him until he was sleepy, but before his eyes started fluttering. Now we read a book or 3 and I rock him for 5-10 minutes depending on how much cuddling I want and I lay him down, he rolls over and goes to sleep, sometimes waving to me before he rolls over. The other thing that help is I got a musical winnie the pooh, it's a touch one so he can touch it to turn in on or off, but it's on a timer than can be set for 5, 10, 15, or 20 minutes. It also has dim lights that change color. I turn it on when I lay him down and so that's his signal to go to sleep. When I rocked him to sleep, I played it while I rocked. Hope this helps, feel free to contact me with any questions.

Hi N.. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. This must be pretty exhausting and overwhelming. The best book I ever read about helping children sleep on their own were the "Baby Wise" series by the Ezzos. They started quite a bit earlier than 13 months, but the principles in the book are very helpful, regardless of what age your child is. We used many of their suggestions for all four of our children and they were extremely helpful. All four kids were sleeping on their own and through the night around 7-8 weeks. By 12 weeks old, they were sleeping a good 11 hours during the night.

Yes, there were a few nights in there that we had to let them cry it out, and that was extremely hard for us. In the end, however, they adjusted amazingly fast - within 5-7 days or sooner. We have all definitely benefited from their ability to sleep through the night.

One of the biggest factors that helped our children sleep through the night well was having a regular routine and meal times. Their bodies got adjusted to their routines so they knew when it was time to wake up, eat, play, and take naps. That helped a lot. If you get a chance, take a look at the Baby Wise books. I hope they help.

Sincerely,

D.

Hi, N.! I'm sorry that you are in the situation that you are, but I've been there before. After reading all the books, talking to two pediatricians, several nurses, and lots of other parents, we had to let our daughter cry (more like scream) it out on her own. I was so upset--I HATE to hear her cry, it makes me a wreck--and the first night it took over 3 hours of continuous screaming (she was 15 months old). I had to actually go sit in the car and read because I couldn't listen to her and not go up there. Every 20 minutes I would go in and check on her, pat her on the back and tell her I loved her, but NOT pick her up. It took between 3 and 5 nights of doing this (she cried less each night until the last night which was about 30 minutes) and then it just ended. It was awful and painful, but we had tried EVERYTHING to get her to sleep in her crib on her own and that was the last resort and the only thing that worked. When our son was born, we had to do the same thing over again, but it was a little easier because he cried less. Anyway, I wish you the best, and hope that things work out for you soon.

Hello, N. I also have 13 month old son and a first time mom to. I only have the sleeping in my bed habit. But if you don't mind me saying you need to try to wean him off nursing. What I did and work great for me. I would take one of his feedings away one week at a time and replace it with a bottle or sippy cup with ever you prefer. The before bed and the morning one such be the very last one to take away. I wouldn't try to wean him of nursing and sleep in his crib. I think thats to much for him to be taken away especially a 13 month old. Good Luck and if you try my method please let me know if it worked. It takes time.