Are Your 3 Year Olds Still in a High Chair?

Updated on March 20, 2011
S.Y. asks from New York, NY
26 answers

I put my 3.5 year old in a high chair at home and at restaurants because he eats much better that way - less opportunity to wiggle away and better able to focus on the meal (he's not a great eater when we're out). Am I spoiling him or babying him? Are all of your 3-4 year olds sitting in regular chairs for meals?

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So What Happened?

Thanks to everyone for your comments. Our little guy actually has pretty good table manners but he's an awful and very picky eater when we're abroad. I have found that having him sit at a higher level, whether in a high chair or booster, helps him eat better. He can totally sit in an adult chair or booth but I don't like the idea of having him be up on his knees for 30-45 minutes, as I'm not sure how comfortable that is or healthy on the joints (maybe I'm nuts to worry about this, but everyone in my family has bad knees). He goes to pre-school and eats without a problem at the table, in his chair (which is all at a lower level). At home, he sets the table and only eats off the adult plates and drinks from adult cups, using adult utensils. Additionally, we travel a lot and I like going to a restaurant and having a full meal, with tea and desert, which can take 1-1.5 hours. Our son is great - he can sit through the entire meal and behave well... when he's in the high chair or booster. Without it, it's much harder. Whenever possible, we request booster seats in restaurants and his high chair at home is attached to an adult chair and is more like a booster seat, which helps him be more at the table level. In either case. I do understand the importance of teaching table manners and am working on that, but it is a LOT of work, as all of you say. I'm also a first time mom, so this is all new to me. Thanks for the feedback!!

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D.B.

answers from Boston on

If he fits, why not? It's higher up and more at table height. If he's happy and you're happy, what's the big deal? Otherwise ask for a booster and tell him it's his special big boy seat, but he has to hold still. Many boosters have 2 sides so you can use the side that puts him at the best level. Put him at the inside of a booth against the wall, or in a chair with arms if possible - the booster seat won't wiggle.

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R.K.

answers from Boston on

My kids were sitting at the table by 18 months and 2. My youngest not until 2 because he was shorter and needed the heigh of the high hair a little longer. I cannot imagine putting a child in a high chair at 3 you are babying him. He needs to learn table manners and to sit at the table without being strapped in a seat.

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S.L.

answers from New York on

I often put mine in a high chair at three (not always) but it kept him away from the dog who was waiting to steal his food

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T.N.

answers from Albany on

Eh, every kid is different. You're doing what feels right for your fam, so it IS right for your fam.

If you have a 7 year old in a high chair, that might raise some eyebrows!

Whatever you can do to make mealtime a more agreeable experience is ok by me!

:)

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S.B.

answers from Dallas on

Both of my children started fighting their high chair at around 18 months. They tried climbing out and rocking in it, it just became unsafe. So we moved them to a booster with a tray, our chairs are heavier than the high chair and it stopped those behaviors. Our daughter is 2 (28 months) and sits at a booster chair at home with no straps or tray, but if we are in a booth at a restaurant, she usually sits there without assistance (if it's a chair she needs the booster seat). Each kid is different, sometimes we go with what works. I am not opposed to that. It's probably time to start practicing using a regular chair. Because at some point he simply won't fit in one of those high chairs. This actually happened to friend of mine. She used a high chair for an extended period for the same reasons you mentioned. Then at dinner one night they could not maneuver her son in the restaurant high chair. She said it was a little embarrassing and since it was a nice dinner with real chairs (no booth) they wound up eating with their almost 4 year old in their lap. They got rid of the high chair the next day. There is no huge rush, it's a skill, like so many, that has to be practiced and learned. He'll get it mama.

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K.U.

answers from Detroit on

Our DD is 3.5 and she is in a booster seat (no tray) at our house (attached to a chair), but otherwise out in restaurants she just sits in the chair or booth without anything. She's up on her knees to reach the table but refuses to do a booster or high chair anymore, because she wants to be a "big kid". And she knows she is expected to stay put.

I can understand still having your son in a high chair if it makes it more convenient so I don't think it's "babying" per se, but maybe it's time to put him in a booster seat and expect him to follow the rules about staying in it without having to be strapped in. Just a suggestion. You didn't mention how big he is or what he weighs, but at some point I would imagine he just won't fit in the highchairs anymore and it won't be safe.

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H.V.

answers from Cleveland on

My son is 2 1/2 and I still have him in his highchair.

We took the tray off and just push it right up to the dinner table.

He LOVES his chair. Loves to climb in & out all by himself.
I say if it makes your meal time easier, let him stay in it :)

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K.P.

answers from New York on

No, but we use a booster seat at home and in restaurants. We found that our little guy was less "squirmy" when he was actually "at the table" rather than sitting back further with a tray.

Every kid is different. Just make sure that he is still "weight appropriate" for the high chair.

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M.F.

answers from Youngstown on

There are times when I wish I could put my 5yo in a high chair! I find it ridiculous that you have a 3.5 yo in a high chair. Where is he wiggling to? Feed him before you go. He has to learn table manners. He should be going to preschool soon(?) so he will need to sit in chair all by himself. My two oldest boys were around 2 when they got out of the high chair and used a booster and at about 3 when they were out of the booster and just sat in the booth or chair. My baby is not even a year old but I am sure at 2 we will say bye bye to the high chair...I don't think stuffing a 3.5 yo into a high chair is "spoiling" but definatly in my opinion you are babying him he is a big boy now let him show you....

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A.H.

answers from Chicago on

By age 3 my son was in a chair at home (handmade by my husband's grandfather - it's tall enough to work like a stool at our kitchen island where we eat but has sides on it so he won't fall out...no straps though). At restaurants we would put him in a booster seat. You have to let them get used to sitting in "big boy chairs," and it takes practice like anything else. He needs to learn to sit and eat even if he isn't strapped in - I know, not always the easiest thing to do. Honestly for us eating out is a rare treat, so I don't sweat it too much if our son eats only a little while we're out...he does have to eat some, but I don't stress it. We just have fun instead. :)

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C.J.

answers from Milwaukee on

I would have LOVED it if mine would have sat in his high chair longer but that didn't happen. It was a sad day when the high chair left the house. He's been 'sitting' at his little table for at least a year and half and he's almost four years old.

I say as long as he stays safe and eats what's the difference?

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J.B.

answers from Houston on

Nah, my son is 3 yrs 8months, so gettin' on 4 I guess. He hasn't been in a high chair for a long time. Funny I just commented on this on another post. But you know my son is so TALL!!! Like it would be a joke to pick up his 3 and a 1/2 foot little self and try to cram him in there. I think somewhere around 2.5 or so he started sitting at the table in a chair. He had a booster he always used at home at that age, and I did boosters at restaurants sometimes. I did see this show on TLC one time about this lady with 8 kids and she had all those kids in bibs and in high chairs at 5 yrs old, I thought it was weird. I mean five, c'mon! But hey, I don't have any idea how it would be to raise that many kids and she was a control freak and needed lots of order, so there you go. I am on the side of as soon as they can, let them. My kids are always wanting to show what they can do, but then their boys. Like my 14 month old, he wasn't having a bottle. As soon as I weaned him, he took a cup. Not bc I forced him, he just wanted a sippy cup, so I chucked the bottles. Now at 14 months he uses a cup, and was piercing his green beans with a fork and feeding himself the other day, go figure. So I don't know how much longer he is going to put up with the high chair!! Anyway, I don't think you are spoiling him, but I would bet he would do just fine in a chair at this point. Good luck!

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A.C.

answers from Savannah on

Sat in a booster seat at age 2.

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Both of mine quit high chairs at age 2. I tried using restaurant high chairs after we quit at home to keep them "locked in" but they would have nothing to do with them! At 3 or 4 kids are probably getting a bit too large for a high chair and should be able to sit in a regular chair or a chair with a booster seat (most restaurants have those too).

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B.

answers from Augusta on

My oldest never used the high chair, except for a few months as an infant. after she started walking that was it , and she had her own little table and chairs set she liked to eat at.
My youngest stopped using the high chair at around 2. used a booster seat that straps onto a regular chair.
Also many high chairs have weight limits. you might want to check that.

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C.B.

answers from Detroit on

I put mine in a booster seat for a while, but my now 3 1/2 and 4 1/2 sons sit at the table with us. I don't think it matters how they sit as long as you are starting to introduce to him what you want mealtime to be like. My sons now have the responsibility to set the table and clear their own plate (and sometimes ours) when they are done, along with saying prayers. They are also allowed to have adult plates, cups, etc if they sit there and eat good just like us. There are consequences if they do not behave or eat well at the table such as missing out on a family game or a cartoon later. I would say that since my son turned 3 is when we have really been able to focus more on what our family mealtime should be. Just in the past few months, our family meal time has really become a great time for us (note: we probably do this 3-4 nights per week - the rest of the week, it is not so organized if we have sports, etc ;). They are a little more wigglesome at restaurants but they know we won't go back or they will lose some priveledge if they don't behave for the most part there as well. I actually can look forward to going out to dinner with all 3 of my kids. I don't think there is anything wrong with him being in a high chair still as long as you are working toward progression and manners for the future.

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K.F.

answers from Cleveland on

My son is almost 3 and he hasn't used his high chair since he was probably 14 months old I would say. I wish he would have used it longer but he hated the high chair!

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A.C.

answers from Columbus on

We bought a booster seat to strap to the regular chair. Once we allowed our son to sit in a "big chair" once or twice, there was no going back to the high chair without a fight. This happened around age 2.

The booster seat we got straps unto the regular chair, and then has a seat belt to hold the child in the sit. Sometimes, especially at first, we strapped him in all the time. Dinner is the worst--if he's not strapped in, he often just eats a bite or two then wants to get down. When he's strapped in, he just seems to eat better (maybe because he knows he can't actually get down without help).

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J.S.

answers from Dallas on

My oldest went to a booster chair at about age 2 at home and out and my youngest is 19 months and he is already in a booster. I would move him personally. He needs to learn to do things on his own.

C.A.

answers from New York on

My daughter is 3 and sits in a booster seat. She will not eat without her booster seat. Even in restaurants she does really well with it. She stopped using the highchair when she was 2.

A.F.

answers from Chicago on

My 2.5 year old has been in a booster since he was about 15 mos. My daughter 3.5 uses a booster strapped to a regular chair too. It is nicer after they are eating table food because they can join you at the table and learn table manners. If your highchair can slip under your table fine...but if not, Yes, I think you are late in transitioning him so he can learn to stay put and eat. If he was in PreK or a daycare, they wouldn't be in high chairs at that age. .... Oh and we don't strap the 3 point restraint on our daughter's booster, it is just there so she can reach the table at a good height (she is petite). We do on my son's or otherwise it is a fall hazard!

Y.C.

answers from New York on

Mine has her little table and chair where she eats, when we all eat together or go out to eat she sits with us, but if she is not behaving we use the restaurant high chair or give her times out at home since we don't have a high chair anymore.
She is 2.5

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R.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

We started at a very young age (as soon as she was eating finger foods) with the expectation that dinner time was family time and we ALL sit together to enjoy our meal. We also have always used this and any other time we eat to practice manners and what's expected at the table. She sat in a booster at 2 and at 3 she uses a regular chair. I think with any child it is just constant repetition of what is expected of them...it takes a lot of practice to perfect those manners we want them to use and it doesn't always come naturally. Just be consistent with your expectations and make sure you follow through with consequences. Good luck!

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B.W.

answers from Seattle on

My boys (3.75 years) sit on regular chairs now and have for about a year or so. But they had to kneel to reach our table at first! We went from high chairs (actually space saver high chairs with trays which strap to chairs) to regular chairs and skipped the boosters. My daughter is almost 2 and she used a high chair for a short time then went to a travel booster with a tray, which she still uses.

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A.K.

answers from Dallas on

Not at home, but when we go to a restaurant I always strap her in a high chair, otherwise she gets down and wanders off. Same at the grocery, she is always strapped in the cart.
She will be 3 in april

L.M.

answers from New York on

No, I have a 3 1/2 yr old and a 4 1/2 yr old. Both were in high chairs till about 2 1/2, then went to booster seats. We just stopped using booster seats a few months ago. It takes work (ALOT of work) teaching them table manners and enforcing them as best I can. My 3 year old wiggles, stands up, tries to eat sitting sideways in her chair, spills drinks, etc. But we are working on it very consistently, and there is alot of improvement.
We take them out pretty regularly to restaurants and have worked on it there too. I usually bring toys and let them play with things at the table, as well as play little games with them like connect the dots, and stuff like that. Generally they are very good for their age at restaurants. You can't expect a 3 year old to sit nicely like an adult at a table for 1 - 2 hours. So I can tell you we never linger with dessert and coffee!

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