Help...desperately Need Sleep Problem Advice!

Sounds like lots of good advice. just a note about melatonin. that is a hormone and its much better to have the ingredients to make it in her body herself.She is way to young to mess around with hormones. An amino acid called methionine (in meats and egg whites) and magnesium are needed to make it. I sometimes have a fried egg white or hard boiled egg white for my daughter just before bed to help her sleep it always works. Good luck.

It sounds to me as though your daughter is having as much anxiety about the issue as you are. As much as you dread the idea of bedtime and the chaos to follow, she probably does too. My suggestion would be to completely abandoned your current routine, expectations, etc. and start fresh. Start with a new routine; bath a little earlier, read books in the living room & not the same location as before, listen to some music, or whatever may be a little different. Maybe if she sees that it's new and not scary then she will be able to relax a little. As far as the bed issue- what's the worst thing that can happen? You make her bed back into a crib and she sleeps in a crib for another 6 mos.- 1yr. If thats what she needs to feel secure and for all of you to get rest then so be it. When my 2nd child was born my 1st born was still in a crib and I felt like I had to put him in a toddler bed. He just wasn't ready. I waited until he was closer to 3 years old & the transition was smooth. Each child is different. I hope things get easier for you soon. Good luck.

J., you must also realize this time of year is scary for children, halloween is a terrible time for kids, and they cover it over with youll get candy, its not right for kids to be forced to see allthe scary items in the stores pumpkins with evil faces on them, big scary skeletons, not to mention the movies, etc, just walking down the halloween aisle is enough to make any child not sleep, if their world is sooo scary , going to sleep can be scarier, then you have to dream about all those scary stuff, and cant get out of it, i was a child plagued by terrible dreams, it was very frustrating to try to get the comfort you needed, so when i had my kids, i knew i would allow them in my room and be there for them when they needed it, i put a matttress under my bed, in my room , that way i could pat her on her back or comfort her without me getting up and doing too much, so i too could sleep, it helped when our kids were in that stage, and with balance they too were able to sleep in their own beds, ejoy life and get some rest, its ok for her to be in there, start her in her bed, or start her in your room, then take her into her room when sleeping if you want to? i know the nanny does the no talk, stay quetly in the room without talking, but at times, its not brattiness its a need, so tend to her needs and soon you all will be sleeping, take care D. s

If it were me, and you may not agree, I'd totally back off at this point and let her sleep in your room or wherever she will. She is at a tender age and you have a new baby coming. You need peace and rest in your home. She is insecure and letting her cry it out was the worst possible thing you could have done. I'd do what you can to comfort and soothe her. She's very young and her understanding is quite limited. I'd forget the crib since it'll seem like a punishment at this point. Change everything from positive to negative, and rebuild a gentle, supportive, understanding relationship with her. This will take time, maybe a lot of time, and the introduction of a new baby will make it more stressful for her. Just keep both of them close to you and reassure, reassure, reassure. She needs to experience unconditional acceptance. She really can't help most of this. She's upset,scared,confused. Think what you'd want and what would help you if you were her, and you won't go too far wrong.

This is a very young child you are dealing with...Why would u let her cry until she vomits? Stay with her until she goes to sleep. Whoever works with benefits gets to go to sleep all night. The other takes care of her.

J.,

I just read your post and wanted to let you know that if, in fact, your daughter is having problems going to sleep at night because she is afraid of the noises she hears when it's dark, there is a wonderful Veggie Tales movie called "Where's God when I'm Scared?". It has a wonderful story with a really catchy song to go along with it and I've seen it work wonders with a number of 2 year olds!
K

Choose your battles. My 3 girls never wanted to go to bed either, for whatever reason. I decided I did not want bedtime to be a battle. Start with a real routine....nice warm bath, cozy jammies, read a book (maybe with the noise machine on) sit with her until she is asleep...leave the noise machine on, leave quietly. She is only 2. She is still a baby! Her need for you doesn't just stop because it is time for bed. She is going through alot of changes. Just being two (YIKES) a new sibling on the way, a new bed. If you can establish a nice, calm routine that you stick to, she will get it. Start now so it is in place before your new sweetie arrives. No worries!

I agree with Ginny 100%. They grow up so fast and even at 2 they are still babies. My 2 year old (in 2 weeks) has started getting up at night the last month. She has always always been a great sleeper. She seems to just want to be cuddled and rocked. She stands up and soon as I come into her room and falls back asleep cuddled up with me in the rocker. I enjoy the 20-30 minutes of holding her (even at 2am or 4am) because I know (my son is 5.5) how fast it goes.

I would get a comfy chair or rocking chair, a small book light, a good book and put them all in her room. Make her stay in her bed and read out loud to her. So the sound of your voice can soothe her. After a few nights she should be used to the routine and relax earlier. A month or so down the road it may just take a few minutes. Keep trying and make sure you are not letting her cuddle with you to fall asleep, or climb in your bed. (just read some of the posts on here about that to know the eventual outcome.)
It sounds like she is having seperation anxiety right now which is common for a 2 yr old. She will grow out of it. Trying to force her to get over it, as you have found out, just makes it worse. So don't fight it, just come up with something that works for you and her. And its always good to read to the kids. :-)

PS. Daddy and mommy can BOTH take turns depending on who's able to sleep later the next day (or usually stays up later anyways. NO TVS!!!

Hi J.,

I'd suggest you try a little Melatonin with B-6. A few nights of using that may get her back into the habit of laying down and going right to sleep. Melatonin is a natural bi-product of the body that initiates and promotes sleep. I'd give her half of a 3mg tablet about an hour or so before bed. Set a routine, have her pick out a special "friend" (stuffed animal or something) that will be able to chasekeep all the scary things away when you aren't in the room. (Something new from the store may help.) After a few nights of being successful in getting her to sleep try taking her off it and see if the routine sticks. If not it's ok to keep going on it. Two of my boys have been on it for years and it makes a big difference. Their bodies just don't produce enough to help them get to sleep. This may be a phase or she may be showing you there are other issues she can't identify with yet. She could be jealous of the new baby coming, too. Your main goal is to keep her calm and relaxed or she won't go to sleep at all. Something else you might want to try is that if she won't fall asleep within a certin amount of time try letting her get up for a little while then try again. Remember to tell her that if she lays quietly for x amount of time and still isn't asleep she can get back up for x amount of time before trying again. Start with her quietly laying there for 15 minutes and extend the time gradually until you find how long she needs to actually fall asleep. 15 minute cycles today, 20 minute cycles tomorrow, 25 minute cycles the day after, ect. Key is she has to lay QUIETLY BY HERSELF for the set amount of time before she can get back up. Set a timer, too.

Hope this helps -

S.

Hi J.
What I did with both of my boys when they went through this stage is I do a bedtime routine that took about an hour (bath, books and then bed). When they got up I would say "it's time for bed" and then take them by the hand and bring them back to bed. When they got up again I brought them back to bed without saying anything. No more interactions. The hardest part for me is not getting frusterated and mad. When we had to do this my husband took 3 nights off work so he could help. The first night my oldest son got up 68 times. So my husband and I took turns putting him back to bed. When one of us got frusterated we switched. The second night he got up 32 times and the third night only 3 times. It does work you just have to be VERY consistant. Whatever you decide to do stay consistant. If you keep switching things she is not going to get it. Try and stay calm and she will get it. Good luck.
Chris