Seeking Help with 4 Week Old Fighting Transition into Crib...

I agree completely with Shannan W. Neither of my DC would sleep very long in a crib. I had a small bassinet by the bed with DS and he would sleep in it for a very short time, then he'd move in with us. Sometimes he would only sleep laying on my husband's chest. He is 9 years old now, and DD is 20, and I don't regret for one minute the time we let them sleep with us. They are babies for so short a time, and I believe in giving them what THEY need over what I need.

~A.~

You first have to decide if sleep or transition to a crib is the most important. My kids never liked their crib. They slept great in a bouncy seat, swing, or bassinett. I finally asked their pediatrician about it and she said that I really wanted them to sleep in a crib, it would need to be a constant thing everynight. Otherwise, let them sleep wherever they seem to sleep the best. One of mine actually slept on a pallet on the floor for a while because she slept the longest. Good luck!

I also moved my son out of the bed at 1 month old to his crib. I let him fall asleep on his own in his crib and I have always had a box fan in his room (not pointed on him or at the crib) but for white noise. If he was restless/fussy, I would stand at the crib and hold his bottle for him to eat. Also his problem with the transition was moms bed was very soft and the crib mattress was not. So I put a squishy crib comforter under his mattress pad and fitted sheet to make his bed more comfy like moms and that was what worked! I also would put a t-shirt of mine and of dads that we had slept in the night befor in his crib so he could get that mommy and daddy scent and feel like he was still next to his parents.

I'm a first-time mom who waited until I was 32 to have a child, too, and my daughter had a similar problem, even though I never allowed her to sleep with me until she was a little older and was sick and needed attention.

I got a "womb bear" and put it in the crib with her. The sound of the heart beating soothed her and made her feel that she wasn't alone. A friend of mine recorded herself talking softly and singing to her child, burned it to a CD and had it set to repeat all night long. The only problem with that is that she had to then listen to herself singing and talking over the monitor all night!

We moved our little girl into her crib around 3 weeks. We had her in a pack and play next to the bed the first three weeks and then just started moving her into the crib after her last early am feeding. We always put her to bed sleepy, but not asleep, so she would know where she was when she woke up. We let her fuss a few seconds, but she always went to sleep and after a few times, we found she slept better in the crib, so we moved her in full time. She began sleeping longer and longer between feedings nearly immediately.

We played a soothing lullaby CD to give her some back ground noise, but white noise, (static from a radio, fan, etc) I have heard works as well.

Good Luck!
P.

I only have one child, who is know 16 months, and we didn't transition her to the crib until she was 3 months old. It just seems a bit early to put her in such a big space this early. I think the pillow is dangerous however I am a firm believer in a swaddler. I used it until she was about 7 months and able to get out of it. I also started with JUST her naps in the crib at 3 months to get her use to it. I would hold off a little while longer for crib sleep at night.

babies weren't designed to sleep alone... if sleeping in your room is going well, then there isn't any reason to change it, IMO. Plus, if she's in her room in a crib, then how will you be able to know if something's wrong?

IMO, letting babies cry it out is cruel. In the first year of life babies are in a developmental stage where they are learning whether or not their caregiver is going to respond to their needs... and, especially for very young babies, crying is the only way they have of communicating a need... and furthermore, comfort is a need... so even if its just because she just needs to be comforted by you, that's okay because she's only a baby. Don't worry about the independence thing rght now... babies ought to be babied.

It is hard with a young baby. You might try to put her in her car seat in the crib just swaddle her right up in it. Eventually she will not have such a strong startle reflex. Some babies just feel a little more secure all curled up in the seat. Just make sure it is stable so it doesn't tip over. If it is in the crib the baby is still able to adjust to the room and surroundings and then gradually, like during naps move her to the mattress. Four weeks old is young and they are still adjusting to the world around them. You say she has awesome reflexes so when she is sleeping she is probably startling herself awake. I would caution you to not become too attached to the vibration of your papasan because it gets them used to needing it. I am not telling you not use it just make sure it is not every time, get her used to sleeping in different places and ways. Good luck

You may be beginning this a little early, there is an excellent book about baby's first year that give wonderful advice. Also, it is not unusal for her first times to be short. Keep trying and depending on where she is during the day at first just put her in it for her daily naps. One thing that will help is when you put her down, rub her tummy for the first few minutes (5-10) until the transition from your arms to the bed is over and she has gotten asleep again.

congrats and enjoy! We have 6 blessings in our home!

My opinion is that it's not a bonding issue at all. Secondly, take the pillow out of the crib, it can cause a suffocation hazzard!

I'd also not rock her to sleep as she needs to learn to fall asleep on her own. It isn't normally a natural skill, but learned.

Next, babies go through active and relaxed sleep cycles. They often wake up some during the active cycles. The swaddling (including the arms) limits how much movement can be made and awaken them. Babies who have too many "sleep crutches" can't fall back asleep on their own. Rocking, music, vibration, & someone with them are all sleep crutches. The longer they're used, the longer it takes to develop good sleep habits. The earlier she learns to fall asleep on her own, the better for both of you. She may cry some initially, but is will probably be short lived at her age. I'd expect 15 minutes to 30 minutes of crying/fussing before falling asleep. If she's not hungry, in a bad position, or has fever/dirty diaper, it's just settling in to sleep and OK to let her fuss some, especially for naps when you're already awake!

That being said, keep an eye out for signs of reflux. Fussing a lot when flat on the back is one of them. If she'll only sleep sitting in her chair, or reclined against you, it could mean reflux is a problem and causing pain or discomfort. If she spits up more than 30 minutes after a feeding, that could be another. Ask your doctor if you think it might be a problem.

Congratulations!! I have a 5 year old son and an 8 week old daughter. She had a hard time sleeping in her crib too. She would sleep fine on my chest or in bed with me, but would wake up within a half an hour if I put her in her crib. What I finally tried was laying her down on her stomach. They say not to do this, but it is the only way she will stay asleep. My son was the same way. I just went in and checked on them every couple of minutes until I was comfortable that they were fine. This has helped me out a lot with her. Hope this helps you and her get some sleep. Good luck!!

Swaddling is great & rocking is soothing for you & her. Here's a couple tips:
Try putting her down before she falls asleep. When she falls asleep in your arms, it scares her when she wakes up alone. If she falls asleep alone, she won't be scared if she wakes up & she will put herself back to sleep. This will teach her to self sooth.
Next, get rid of the pillow and try this close & secure sleeper. http://www.target.com/First-Years-Close-Secure-Sleeper/dp... We used it & loved it. We could put our son in it in his pack-n-play or crib & he slept great. It's a smaller area, so she will feel more secure, plus it will help her stay on her back so you don't have to worry as much about SIDs. We also used a sleep positioner in the co-sleeper, which helped keep him from rolling over.
Take care!

S., first congratulations on your new baby girl! How to get them to sleep anywhere for very long at this age would be the million dollar question. :-) I found the swaddling very helpful with my children. And something that seemed to help was using a flannel sheet rather than a cotton sheet because it was warmer or I'd heat a towel in the dryer for a few minutes and lay in in the crib first to warm the sheet before laying them down. The coldness of the sheet seemed to always kind of startle them and wake them up a bit. Also, I wouldn't put a pillow in the crib with your daughter. For babies this can be dangerous and is a suffocation hazard, as are stuffed animals, etc., anything the baby can get her face or head under.
You mentioned that you rocked her to sleep then put her to bed, I loved to do that too. Even though I was told to put them to bed before they were quite to sleep...which when I finally took that advise, it did work much better. When they soothed themselves to sleep that last few minutes, they seemed to be able to do so when they'd wake during the night too. So, as hard as it was, I finally did take the advise and rock almost to sleep, then lay them down. I think too it's just a time of her getting used to her surrounding and settling in and you too. It's so hard moving them to the crib, or at least it was for me. It feels so big when they're so little. I hope the transition gets much better and you both are sleeping more soundly soon (and longer) soon. Sweet dreams!

I really do not want to tell you this but you are going to have to let her cry and get used to the new surroundings. Holding her and letting her sleep in the pap. chair is only making it worse. If she can start noticing that when she is in her bed it is sleeping time, it will get better. As hard as it is, you are going to have to let her cry and get used to the crib.

Hi, S.,

You and your baby will really benefit from carrying her in a sling. She can sleep right in it, all scrunched up (they love that), while you do stuff around the house or run errands, take a walk, etc.

Check out The Happiest Baby on the Block and Dr. Sears' book on attachment parenting. I've watched The Happiest Baby on the Block DVD and it's amazing, watching how well it works in soothing babies and helping them sleep (it's like magic!!!), and in both books, the ideas about helping them sleep without crying or trauma make so much sense in terms of feeling calm, bonding, trust, and emotional closeness. The benefits last a lifetime for them, and it's far easier on Mom & Dad.

Have no fear about nursing, rocking, etc. her to sleep. This is not a "bad sleep habit" issue. They will not become dependent on it later, they'll just need some transition time. In the first year or so, babies need that closeness. As that need changes to the need to define themselves, a sleep "dependency" naturally drops away, or can be gently encouraged away because they want to big big boys and girls.

The first 3 months outside the womb are, psychologically, another trimester. Human infants are born early because our brains get so big that we'd have trouble birthing them after 40 weeks (if we could do it at all!). But mentally and emotionally, they're not ready to be off on their own at all. It's very traumatic.

So, the more womb-like you make her environment, and the closer you keep her to you, the more secure you'll make her feel, and the better a sleeper she will be, after a while, on her own. It can feel like too much sometimes, at first, but the newborn stage is like that. The important thing is to meet her needs! It doesn't last long, you get through it, like we all do, and the rewards later are huge. Besides a calmer, happier, more obedient child, you'll ultimately get a more independent one because she is grounded in that initial security - her needs having been met.

Your and your baby's rest is the most important thing. Don't feel pressured to have her in her crib at a certain age. Certainly not now, when she's so young and truly needs you! Throughout history, children that were far from their parents got eaten or were otherwise endangered. They are programmed to need to be close. Many babies sleep in their parents' bed for the first several months or even year or more! (It's absolutely safe if you do it as according to the guidelines. SIDS risk actually goes way down because you sleep in tune with your baby and if she is having trouble regulating her breathing, has a fever, etc. you can wake up and help her. If you're still uncertain, try a co-sleeper.) A gradual transition is all they need, and when they're ready, they'll want to prove their independence.

Do go ahead and swaddle her tightly! This will keep her reflexes from bothering her and waking her, and from keeping you rushing to comfort her when those awesome reflexes startle her. Tight swaddling is just perfect for babies; it's very soothing.

Good luck!

My 7 month old granddaughter still sleeps in her swing or her papasyn chair because she sleeps so much better. My grandson did the same thing. It hasn't seemed to hurt anything and little sleep for mommy does hurt alot of things!!

You've already gotten lots of advice. I am a mom of 4. I agree with others who have said to get the pillow out, too much of a suffocation hazard. But I really like the sleep positioners and swaddling. They really make the baby feel cuddled. We swaddled all our kids for months. Go ahead and try to tuck those arms in the blanket too so she doesn't startle herself. That said, my youngest 2 are twins and would only take naps in swings. And when they were really little, like your precious one, we often had to sit with them to get them to sleep or stay asleep. Be patient with yourself and your baby. Try your best to set up good sleep habits but don't worry if it takes awhile. God bless!

All the ideas are great - I don't recommend sleeping with the baby. Too much risk of smothering. I would nurse or a give a bottle while laying in bed if needed but the baby goes right back into their bed (why it is called their bed!!) My little ones NEVER slept in a bed all night - they just wanted me for the first 6+ weeks!I think the idea to start with a bed (crib, bassinet, whatever) right by yours for a few weeks is great and then begin moving the bed farther away until they are in their own room. Also, Does he sleep alone during the day? sometimes a little white noise will help them since it is so quiet at night. Good luck with your little! I am looking forward to my 4th due in October!

Try laying her in her srib while she is awake this helps her to get to know her surroundings, do this both with both day and night time settings. With my daughter we used a sleep positioner we found at target it was 2 holloww tubes that would adjust to fit her in what ever position we placed her bacor side swaddled. Our daughter too had great reflexes and would un-swaddle and be everywhere during the night. Remember she is still tryin gto figure everything out. Also with her know used to movement to get to sleep being motionless is freightful and a different concept to her. try putting her down without rocking or her viab. chair, yes easier said then done. But always remeber what worked this week may change next week. Keep on loving your little bundle of joy.

J.

It sounds to me like your baby is still bonding with you. My little guy didn't sleep in his crib until he was 4 months. I tried it a couple times before that and he just didn't seem ready because he was waking up constantly. Follow your baby's cues. They will let you know when they are ready for different things, don't rush :)

I am a 37 y/o first time mother. My nine and a half month old was much the same way.
They are so used to being held from the womb. Just don't rush her, after all, she is a baby who needs to feel loved and secure. Trust me, they grow very fast and you will be wanting to hold them but it will never be the same as now.
My daughter is very active now and it is hard to hold her when she is jumping and twisting. I remember the days when we would sit for hours just enjoying each other.
Housework can wait, hold your baby!! You will never regret it!!
By the way, my daughter now sleeps every night, all night in her crib!
T. S

I really don't have any fast solutions to offer. Only to say that we started my son out in a bassinet for his first 2 months then moved and switched to a crib and had the same problem. For 6 months we couldn't get him to sleep in his crib, he'd only sleep in his swing, rocker, bouncer, or his carseat, so we ended up letting him sleep in his carseat and put that in his crib (which was a suggestion by the doctor to help him get used to the crib while still being comforted by the close quarters of the carseat). eventually overnight he learned to fall asleep on his own laying down w/out the close quarters and everything worked out fine. both of my kids were difficult to get to sleep or stay asleep for a long time, my oldest more than my youngest, so i understand the frustration. sometimes you just have to find what works best for your child and you and eventually they'll grow out of it. good luck.

I agree with other readers in that the first thing you should do is remove the pillow from her bed. My son had a hard time transisitoning to his bed when he was little. During the first two months use whatever get you and her some sleep even if this means using her chair. During this time infants can't really self sooth. We were able to move my son to his crib by first putting him in the crib for his naps during the day for at least one nap. Around the time he started only waking up once or twice a night around 3 months and could self sooth we were able to tranisition him to his crib.

How you train your baby to sleep depends a lot upon your own preferences. It is not right or wrong to have your baby in their own bed or in your bed. My husband and I decided early on that our bedroom is our own and that we would put our babies in their own beds. Our first child slept in a bassinet for one night in our room. I worried all night about her breathing, her noises woke us ours disturbed her and we could not sleep. I realized that in order for me to be an alert, productive parent, she needed to be in her own room. I put her in her bed, said a prayer for God to watch over her as she slept and I slept much better in my own room. Some of the best advice I got for putting a child down in their own bed is to put them in bed awake and let them learn to sleep on their own. If they do not go to sleep there, when they awaken, they will need you to help them settle again. Just think how unsettling it would be for you to awaken in a different place than where you went to sleep. You are the one in charge of helping your child learn to put themselves to sleep. This is easier for some children than others. If you hold them, pat them, put them in a vibrating seat, etc., they will likely need that every time they need to sleep. Don't start a habit that you are not willing to do long term. My first child would cry when I put her down, but if it lasted more than 7 minutes, she was not ready to go to sleep. At about the age of your child, I would nurse her, play with her (cuddle, stimulate, etc.) and then put her down in her bed. If I didn't feel like I could handle the crying, I would take a shower. The warm water would relax me and I couldn't hear the crying. 90% of the time, she was asleep when I got out of the shower. Before long, I could put her in bed and she would go right to sleep. I was a bit neurotic about discovering her schedule. I kept a log on the changing table and recorded the time and duration of her feedings. I discovered that she needed to nurse 8 times a day. If she ate 7 times, she would wake up at night for number 8. I used this info to get her on a schedule and even sometimes woke her from naps for a feeding. She ate every 2.5 hours for 4 months, but slept through the night. At three weeks old, she slept 6 - 7.5 hours at night and by 6 weeks she was sleeping 9 hours every night. All three of our children sleep in their own beds -That gives us adult time before we go to bed. I think it keeps us connected and happy in our marriage. You need to pay attention to the clues you get from your child because there are other factors that can keep them from sleeping. Our second and third children both had ear problems. It is impossible for them to sleep soundly with fluid in the ears or infections. Within two weeks of the surgeries for ear tubes, they both slept through the night. The very best advice that I have is to listen to everybody, then decide what works for you. She is your child and ultimately your decision to do what works for you. Don't make any decisions out of guilt. If something stresses you too much, it is likely not worth it. Parenting is not a competition, it is a wonderful time of discovery and opportunity to create your unique family. Good luck!

My son would not sleep in his crib until he was 8 months old. The doctor we had which was great said that he was bonding with us an also that while he was in the womb he was always snuggled against me and that it is very noisy in there too. The docotr said that by 6 months then they are aware that you are there for them and can let them cry it out for a couple of night and then they will sleep well in a bed. My son (2 years old) now only sleeps in bed he refuses to snuggle and sleep anymore. He also puts himself to sleep at night. So either or can continue to snuggle to sleep or you can try a white noise machine or soft classical music in his bedroom and see if that helps.

I recommend 2 things. First , Buy the Movie "Happiest Baby On The Block". Second, buy the book "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Richard Ferber, M.D.

These both helped me out TRAMENDOUSLY! Also, it's a good idea to talk to your pediatrician about the problem. Mine always has great answers to help solve my dilemma. Good luck!

Hi- Here is some advice for you. First of all get the pillow out of the crib!!! I would suggest you try one of the sleep wedges for babies. You can get them from Wal-Mart, Babies R US ect. It keeps them from rolling and makes them feel like there is something close but in a safe way. Also make sure she is swaddled in her blanket babies love that. Is there too much light in the room during the day? Maybe you should think about a shade or curtain. You can try soothing sounds. All babies are different and like different things to soothe them. My 1st daughter slept in the bassinet until she was about 5 months old and then I moved her to the crib, and it caused me major headaches! The 2nd I put in the crib first thing and everynight she knew that when I laid her down it was bedtime and went right to sleep. Get a routine set up for you child from the start and stick with it! Good luck and have paitence it is a HUGE learning experience as a first time mom.

S.,
Congrats on your new baby. Your approach will really depend on your parenting style. I personally don't believe in the cry it out method (it breaks the bond and trust) and the attachment parenting method didn't fit me either (the family bed - I wouldn't be able to sleep). So, I wanted something in the middle, I found it from Tracy Hogg's book "Secrets of the Baby Whisper" - it's all about respect. We moved our daughter from bassinet to crib at 6 weeks old and she started sleeping through the night. Night time was easier on her than daytime to sleep in the crib (I think because it was darker in her room at night). I used the techniques the Baby Whisper gave, but still probably held her longer than recommend, but make slight adjustments that fit you and your baby. We started a night time routine early: playing soft lullaby music as we rocked and read two stories and I softly sang one lullaby to her, told her softly I loved her, gave her a kiss, then I placed her in her crib (still do this with my 2 year old today at nap and bedtime). It worked great. I will say after being sick a few times, where she's wanted/needed to be held for a few nights, we've had to break her of it. We did this by, laying her down, if she cries, go to her, pick her up to let her know you're close by, but lay her back down after she calms down. And continue to do that over and over and over, it might take 30-50 times the first night, but it gets a lot less each night, she's so young I bet it would only take about three nights of commitment to doing that to get her comfortable knowing she's okay in her crib and that you're close by (what's three nights to get great sleep for you all in the long run) - but stick with it for about 5 nights and see what happens (if you give up and let her sleep on you at any point, you'll have to start over and the older she gets the longer it will take to break her of it). Also, don't use pillows in any bed with baby. We used a sleep positioner that had a soft head rest and I think that helped too (I got it at Target for like $15 - great investment). And my daughter preferred to sleep on her side when in the crib, which was possible with the sleep positioner. Hope one of these tips is helpful. Good luck and enjoy your time with your baby, they grow so fast.
~ J.

We thought at first that our newborn son hated to be swaddled, because he kept straining against it, but once we started swaddling him tightly, he began sleeping better during the night. It reminds them of the womb, and they strained and kicked in there, too. :) Something else we did was to get a sleep positioner and lay him, swaddled, tilted onto his side but angled face-up (since he didn't seem to sleep as well flat on his back), and he slept pretty well that way, too. (Note: doctors don't recommend putting baby on his side, but we took precautions.) But there were times when he was very young that he just wouldn't sleep unless we held him, so I'd prop myself up in bed or in the rocker and try to get some sleep that way, too. I think we swaddled until about three months; by four months he was starting to sleep through the night, and by five months he was sleeping 12 hours straight!

As for bonding, that's a lengthy process, over months and years, and is not necessarily tied to how she sleeps. It's more that she develops familiarity with you and trust in you because you consistently show up and take care of her needs. There's time to make the transition to the crib - generally around 4-6 months - but when they're this little, you do what you have to to get everyone some sleep.

I got great information from "Baby 411" by Fields and Brown and "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Weissbluth.

Well, I have to say my husband is the one who fixed this issue for us with our first son (he is almost 5 now) we placed a bet because I did not think it could work in a week to get him to go right straigt to bed at 830 pm every night, no mobile, no light, nothing. So I let him try, and he would feed him, burp him, bath him and play with him until he got to the time he (my husband) wanted him to go to bed, which was 8:30 pm and he would take him in there and put him down. Crying or not. Now, it would almost break my heart and it was all I could do not to run in there and snatch him up. I knew he was not hurt, he was not hungry, he was just mad. The first night it took all of about 10-15 minutes and then he went to sleep, the second night, it was about 5 minutes, the third night, he went right to sleep. And now, whne we tell tell him bedtime, he goes to bed with no trouble. He does not have to have a TV on in his room to fall asleep. It was hard for me, but it was the best thing we could have done.

Good morning S.!!
Every baby is different but I'll tell you what worked for me. My son slept in a cradle in our room for a couple of months. When it came time to put him in the crib, I did it gradually. I start with naps. I let him fall asleep in my arms and put him in the crib and he would take naps in it that way. Then I moved him into his crib at night after giving him a couple of weeks to get used to it during his naps.
Hope this helps and good luck!

S., It is so smart to start now! It will be even harder to get her into the crib as she gets older. Part of the problem might be that you are rocking her to sleep. She wakes up and doesn't know where she is! Try rocking her to calm her and laying her down while she's still awake. Even let her cry a little (its so hard but it will help, I swear) and go in to reassure her with a pat on the back. Be careful with putting a pillow in the crib. She can suffocate easily on pillows. Her arms might be waking her also. Swaddling is so good for newborns- even if it is over their arms and tightly. Right now, she doesn't know that she moves her own arms and it actually feels to her like her arms are attacking her when they move around. Keeping her arms swaddled can alleviate that scary feeling. I also recommend reading the Baby Whisperer... it gives great tips on sleeping and routines. Don't give up!

At this age they still need momma close by. Is the crib in your room, if not I suggest you move it there, preferably as close to your side of the bed as possible. Actually personally I would get a bassinet & put it next to the bed, smaller inside & out. I have 2 boys & they always slept with us in bed until they were 2. I understand not everyone wants or agrees with the family bed, but at this young tender age the baby still does need to be in close proximity to mama.

Many babies can't sleep laying down. They have a reflex reaction that makes them jerk awake if they aren't in a curled up position. Our first son coudln't ever sleep in a bassinet or crib until he was six months old, but he slept very soundly in his car seat. Our second son couldn't sleep in a bassinet either, but he outgrew his reflex reaction a little sooner and slept in his crib when he was three or four months old. It's a pretty common thing for a lot of babies.

I would suggest that you make her crib her only place that you lay her down to sleep. This away she will become known with her enviroment and will help with her transitioning into longer sleeping frames. Give it a couple of weeks and I promise the child will start sleeping for longer time frames. Also, do not I repeat Do not put anything soft in the crib or sleep with her because the child could fall off the couch or bed or could fall between your arm and side. Very serious. Also, the child has already become ajusted to sleeping with you so you want to stop that and never do it again and it will pay off in the future. I would suggest that you always rock her to sleep because that is one of the best bonding times you can have with your child. Good Luck!

Do you have a soother for the crib? It may be that it's too quite for her since she's used to the vibration and music of the papasan and the sound and feel of your heartbeat. I think they even make soothers that mimic a heartbeat.

She is not too young to start developing a routine. We started putting my 2.5 year old in his crib at 4 weeks, and he did fine. Our routine was for me to get him dressed for bed in my room, then went in his room in the dark, turned on the lamp, rocked him for a few minutes, then put him in his bed. I am a bad mom who puts her babies to bed with bottles. All my babies learned to self soothe. Sometimes I patted his back or bottom, but he took right to it.

Right now we just moved the 11 month old from our room to share a room with his brothers. Last night he kept rubbing his face (nose and eyes) and doing other sleepy things, so I put him to bed. He screamed and it wasn't the kind that he would settle down, he was getting worked up, so I got him up quietly and rocked him in the dark for a few minutes, and then he settled down.

Good luck!

When you lay her down for a nap start putting her in her crib and not on the couch. Maybe get a small radio and put it in the corner of her crib and let it play softly. since she sleeps with music in her chair. Try to transition her to her crib during the day and it will be easier at night. hope this helps.
S. jane

She probably is still bonding with you guys. She is only barely a month old and the i never made my children sleep in their cribs if the didn't feel comfortable doing it. The longer you wait to transition her it may get harder it just depends on if she becomes a heavy sleeper or not. One thing i wouldn't suggest is letting her have a pillow in her crib because that is not safe especially at that age. I wouldn't do it. I wouldn;t make my baby move out of my bed just yet because they are wanting to be by me at all times so thst they fel a sense of safety and security and i would never take that away from them. Not to say that you are wrong for what you're trying to do because to each it's own, but that's just me. My yougnest is 3 and he still sleeps in the bed with me and he has his own room and bed but if he wants to sleep with me i will let him because he is only 3 and sometimes he still gets a little frightened so i want him to feel safe and sleep well.

Hello,
What I would do with my three is put a heating pad underneath the mattress pad and turn it on prior to putting my little ones to bed. When I was ready to put them down, I turned it off. It warmed the bed so that the transition was from my warm arms to a warm bed.
Hope this helps.

It may just be that she still needs the (heartbeat simulation) Something that you could try is to put a pillow in each end of the crib to make it smaller as well as using something ie a bear or pad that has a heart beat this may help. with the best of luck M.

S.,
I have 2-1/2 yr. old twins. They slept in the same crib until they were 7 months old. I had bought my husband one of those long handled back massagers. Starting when they were just born, I would put it in the corner of the crib and turn it on. It automatically turns off after about 15-20 minutes, but if they started to fuss at any time, I could turn it back on and they would settle right back to sleep. I put a towel under it and since they had the bumper things to keep them from rolling over they never got near it. I don't recommend putting a pillow in the crib. It is way too dangerous for smothering issues/SIDS. Also, don't worry about swaddling her too tight. And you said under her arms? When you swaddle her, her arms should be tucked inside the blanket too. They swaddle them nice and tight in the hosiptal nursery and they seem to sleep better this way. I had some nice sort of stretchy blankets so could swaddle them tightly but still felt they were comfortable. Like I said, they like to be swaddled and if her arms are free, their moving around while she's asleep is part of what is possibly waking her up. She's not used to all that free space.

Anyway, hope all this helps. Also I hope you get Baby Talk magazine. It's free and if not, sign up online. They usually sign you up at Motherhood maternity if you've ever gone in there, too.

Try the massager thing. She obviously likes the vibration as evidenced by her comfort in the vibrating/musical papasan chair. Good luck!

P.S. About me: I'm a 47 yr. old single mother of twins (ex decided he didn't want children after all) and a full time speech therapist in the public schools.

There is a book called "Secrets of the BabyWhisperer" by Tracy Hogg. There are so many different methods to get babies to sleep and keep them asleep. It is amazing!! I recommend this book to anyone from a newborn to a 5 year old.

My first baby would NOT sleep anywhere but in contact with another human body. After about three weeks of fighting it and sticking to my guns about her "sleeping on her own" from birth, I caved and just took her to bed. She didn't sleep much, anyway, so at least that way I got the six hours at night that she did sleep! I can STILL remember feeling SO TIRED all the time, and that was six years ago!

My son is a completely different child. He's 11 months old (nearly), and he's a pretty good sleeper. However, when he was born, I just took him to bed with me, since it was what I was used to. He slept in my bed until about 5 or 6 months, then I set a toddler bed up between my bed and the wall (a crib works just as well), so that he's by me, but not against me. Even in the first few weeks, I would sometimes put him in the bassinet beside me, just to have a few more inches of room in my bed (my husband tends to squish me from the other side, and I was getting no good rest! LOL).

Try going gradually. If you can get her crib beside your bed, it works out well. You can still put a hand on her if she needs to know you're there, but you don't have to get up to get to her. Then, when she's sleeping well in her crib, move the crib a little further from the bed. Once she's adapted to that, move it into her own room. That way, the bed is familiar and a place of happy dreams, and she'll care less where it is.

Remember that 4 weeks isn't such a long time to adjust to being an actual separate being, and just give her time to be a baby. Some people call the first three months of a baby's life the "fourth trimester," since babies are still so dependent on the their mommies. What seems like FOREVER with a new baby seems so short when they're big (my oldest is about to turn 9 [stepson], my first baby is a big girl of six, and even the baby is about to turn one. Where does the time go!?).

Try not to stress about it, let her move gradually, at a pace that meets your need to have her in the crib and her need to be near you, and enjoy every moment of babyhood!

Hi S.,
My dr. told me the best thing to do was to keep our son swaddled for as long as possible, making sure you tuck their arms in. That helps them feel snug and secure. We swaddled him until he was about 5 months old and it helped greatly with his sleeping. I also rolled up two blankets and tucked them on either side of him. Hope that helps.

Hello,
Here are a few things that you might try. I used a wedge when my son was that age. There is also a bear that makes a heart beat sound that is soothing. Or you might just try putting her papasan chair that vibrates in the crib until she is used to being in her crib alone. But, don't get discouraged. It takes time. Good luck.