Bedtime Routine for toddler/Attachment Parenting

I don't let my son cry it out. I think it's cruel. However, you're setting yourself up for a lot of torment especially with a new one coming up. She's almost 2 now so she does or should understand some basic things. Try telling her that she's such a big girl now and big girls fall asleep in their beds. Instead of doing the Ergo, try putting her in her bed... maybe start out with rubbing her back so that she knows you are still there. Then slowly decrease the time that you rub her back until you're able to just put her in the crib and walk out of the room. My son goes to bed just fine and I have never used the cry it out method. Whatever you choose to do know that it will take a while to break a set in pattern and create a new one. If you go from one extreme to another it will be traumatic, but if it's gradual then you will have a greater chance of success. Good luck! :)

My daughter liked foot massages at that age, and today she still does. It's called reflexology, and its very relaxing.

But each change takes time... and consistency. Continue to have your Husband do the night time going-to-bed routine for your daughter...because once you have your baby, it will be hard to do it both for your newborn and your eldest child. That is what me and my Hubby did. I too, am attachment oriented... and I did not let my kids cry...but they have good sleep habits and I had a routine for them for naps and bedtime, the SAME routine everyday.

Also, 2 years old is a time, developmentally, when a toddler may start to have "night time fears" or nightmares... so keep that in mind... and she might want to come and sleep with you/Hubby etc. I don't know if you co-sleep or not... but for my family, we have a spot in our bedroom for our kids, should they need to come and be near us, and I co-sleep with them if needed, since my kids are older now. We have a floor futon on the floor of our room and it is all cozy... and that is where the kids can sleep, should they need to or if they are lonely or have nightmares.
It really works for us and we have no problems at night or with the kids going to bed this way, or in their own beds.

See what works for you... but I REALLY recommend that your Hubby do the night-time routine for your daughter and putting her to sleep... you will be too busy with your newborn and you will need to nurse and rest whenever you can.

Also try and give her a "lovey" and her own personal flashlight... (my kids love theirs for bedtime).
From about this age, and as the first respondent said... a child CAN INDEED learn to self-soothe... and they are mature enough, although it is the "routine" and closeness of the parent that they may miss. Because after all, at this age... a child's emotions are developing more. For me, I would lay down next to my daughter, in her room, and then read to her. Then gradually I would just sit in the chair in her room... then gradually my time spent there got less and less. My daughter just liked having "company" as she fell asleep. And for any glitches or times of need... then she could come in our room, on the floor futon and sleep there. We had no problem with that, and/or I would co-sleep with her until she fell asleep... then I could just get up and go do what I want.

All the best, just some ideas,
Susan

If she's not walked in the Ergo does she cry? I started with laying down with my son on my bed (cosleepers)and rubbing his back and talkind to him about what was going to happen. You might want to do this in the toddler bed. Over time, I just started to phase myself out...like not lying next to him but, sitting there rubbing the back and then just sitting there and now I only stay if he wants me to. Some nights he says I can go and that gives me a chance to go do stuff.

I wore him and cuddled him and co-slept with him and the transition took about two weeks. I have to admit the first few days he was not sure what was going on, but I made sure to talk to him about it throughout the day and explain why and how and that I loved him for being so wonderful.

You can also introduce a lovey type object, like stuffed toy or pillow or blanket. These are good and my son has a dino he sometimes cuddles with at night when he's having a bad dream or just not feeling good.

It can happen without crying you just have to be consistent and remember that all change happens gradually and with love and patience.

Good Luck.

attatchment parenting wasnt for me but hey everyone to their own right? anyways heres what i do with my 25 month old daughter-
after dinner we get our jammies on (this happens about 6pm)
then at 7pm we brush our teeth and comb our hair. then give out our hugs and kisses.
then its into her room for her nightly breathing treatment and a story. then i give her final hugs and kisses and put her in her bed.
maybe limit her relaxsation methods to one way. like the bouncing on the ball. also introduce a new self soothe methoud. my daughter pats herself. i have always patted her chest when she was a lil baby so now she does it. just start slowly and it will fall into place :). babies are creatures of habit. i have changed my daughters bed time routine as she got older. just be patient :)

i think it is good that your husband is taking over the responsiblity for putting your daugter to sleep. That will certainly helpo her when the baby arrives.
I don't know if you are planning a vacation nowadays or shortly afterwards but here is what worked for us; we were on a vacation staying at a hotel with balcony/lanai. Our sin was around 3.5 years old. I woudl put his baby borther to sleep and my husband woudl lay down with the older one. Once the baby is asleep, we would both go up and kiss oru son goodbye, and then stay in the balcny where he can see us and we can hear him easily. He would be in the same room with his baby brother but we would be out in the balcony. After this one week vacation, at home, I put the baby to sleep and then let the older one come in and sleep in the same room with the baby while door was kept open all the etime. After a little bit of this, i told him that his baby brother would not sleep if he is on there becuase he likes him so much and want to play with him all the time. i aske dhim if he would like to have a brighter night lamp may be to read a book or something or listen to music. He said yes, so we moved him to another room to fall aslep. He has his nigth lamp, and radio, books etc. We stil lkeep the door open, but he now goes to sleep entirely on his won (Now he is 4 years old). The basic idea i guess is to slowly transition. I don't know if it would work when he was younger but as long as your husband takes on the responsibility of putting her to sleep you had an head start. good luck!

I tell my daughter it is bed time and to pick some books and go to the bedroom. Some nights she gets a bath first, some night not. Then we sit and rock and read books. I always let her pick which one we read in what order, but I don't always read all that she brings in. When story time is done, she turns off the light and we turn on the music. She nurses and then we rock. I started out sitting through the whole cd once with her, and the cd would play all night, we had to turn that feature off pretty quick, as she would wake and be unhappy about being alone. Then I would wait until she fell asleep and would put her to bed, but she didn't like that one either. Now I have gotten it down to nursing through two songs and then into bed, but it took a while. Course sometimes she reads to herself before sleeping, and sometimes she comes to the door and I tuck her back in. We are flexible, as every night is different...
Your daughter is older when you are starting, so my advise to you is to talk to her. She doesn't need to do these things, so much as she is used to it and wonders why it doesn't happen. Talk to her. She is a really smart little person. Let your husband put her to bed, cause she may decide that the new baby is to blame. Or hand off the baby to your hubby for some bonding and cuddle your little girl. She will miss you. You can start to cut back on some of the time it takes, or some of the activities, but talk to your daughter through out the day about why things are different, and that you still love her just as much as ever. Never say that it is because of the new baby, always say that changes are because she is getting old and becoming a big girl.
Good luck, Good birth
R.

Hey E.! My parenting style is also attachment parenting. I do not believe in letting my babies cry it out either. I have done what you do, nursing down, and then when I night weaned them, I would lay with them in bed and snuggle until they passed out. When they hit about 2 1/2 I start teaching them to put themselves to sleep, here's my method.

Let it be noted that lots of outside play makes kiddos very tired and is a very helpful method to getting kids to fall asleep easily, not to mention that warm baths are wonderful too.
So I follow my normal bed time prep routine, pj's, teeth brush, etc. and I snuggle with them for a few minutes. Then I reassure them saying "mommy loves you so much, and she will always come back. It's time to go night-night, and I will be back." I leave for a minute and stand outside the door out of sight.If they cry when you leave, you can immediately go back in and soothe them, or wait out the 1 whole minute, do what feels good to you. After a minute I go back in and tell them how proud of them I am. Then leave and stand outside the door for 2 minutes. I go back in tell them how proud of them I am and that they were so good. It's very important that you go in and tell them they are doing a good job so they can see that you want them to lay quietly and fall asleep. Again I tell them "I love them, I will always come back, it's time to go night-night, I will be back" and leave for 3 minutes. I just continue to repeat the process 4 minutes, 5 minutes, etc. until they fall asleep. Just always remember to trust your motherly instincts :) .