Ok our 10 yr. anniversary will be coming up soon and I have my idea of what we should do but was wondering should I give the control over to the hubby or still plan what we were going to do? I don't like to travel and we are on a budget so I do have my thoughts as to what would be reasonable maybe I'll tell him my thoughts and just sit back and relax and let him do all the work for once!!
Discuss it together! What does he want to do, what do you want to do. It's a celebration for BOTH of you.
If he doesn't have ideas, you can go with it
Why don't you ask him what HE has in mind? If he says, "I don't know." Then you run with it. If he has ideas, pick one and tell him to run with it.
Plan it together. It's not about "control", but about celebrating your relationship... I think, right?
We are celebrating our ten years soon as well and it's absolutely something we're discussing together. Why set myself up for disappointment?? I have some expectations so rather than make him guess I'm contributing my ideas...this way, we're both happy. Happy Anniversary to you!!!
Your approach might leave you very disappointed-unless your husband has proven that he can plan things out to your liking and your expectations. I would work on it together if I were you.
If I could, I'd give it all over to my husband to do!!!!!!!!! But i'd give it all over to him & still stay involved! I'd drive him nuts about it & he'd end up telling me to just do it all!
I waited for my hubby to surprise me, and winded up with a nice Grandfather clock. Its nice, but not the romantic getaway I was secretly hoping for... so I would definitely talk to him about what you are leaning towards.
Why not just plan it together? You have been together for 10 years and want to acknowledge it. Nothing wrong with combining plans and compromising. Isn't that what makes a good marriage.
But will you be happy with what he comes up with? There isn't too much worse than silent resentment and criticism. It makes ulcers for both parties.
If you want him to be in charge of your anniversary celebration, you'll have to ask him if he'll take charge. If he agrees, get out of the picture and let him do it. He'll be the boss, not the employee.
You, of course, will be planning how to be delighted with whatever he comes up with. Whether he does it your way, his way, or a combination of the two, you'll be happy because this is the guy you've committed your life to for the past ten years (and hopefully sixty more).
I think it's best for both of you to provide input at the start. But then giving up control and letting somebody else run a project can be a great experience.
Try planning it together. We have found that when we plan things together they are even more fun to experience together. There is some give and take between us in the planning...just like in marriage!
He's in the marriage too - isn't he? Get his input instead of directing him...
Since it sounds like you wear the pants and run the house - he may be expecting you to arrange it all....I've said it before and I'll say it again - COMMUNICATION IS KEY!!!
HE CANNOT READ YOUR MIND...if you just sit back and THINK "well, I'll sit back and relax" you are setting yourself up for a huge hurt...especially if he hasn't been "allowed" to plan anything for the last 10 years...
If he doesn't HEAR you talk about X, Y and Z (like the poster that was "secretly hoping for a romantic getaway")...you are only setting yourself up for a fight or hurt....COMMUNICATE!!! COMMUNICATE!! COMMUNICATE!!!
It is a MARRIAGE a PARTNERSHIP - BOTH parties should be involved in the planning...that's my take.
My wife and I have been going someplace every year to celebrate our anniversary since our 25th. I plan one year, and she plans the next. Some times the planning and executing is a chore and sometimes its not.
When its her turn, I just let it go. Sometimes I ask questions and she answers them. Sometimes she says "its a surprise." I've gotten to where the most important part of the trip is who I'm with, not where we go.
You say you don't like to travel. Why? Sea sickness or road sickness? Or nerves about seeing or doing something new. Even going to the grocery store requires "travel" unless you have your groceries delivered.
I hope you have a blast. I've always had a wonderful time on our anniversary trips.
Good luck to you and yours.
