Girl Potty Training - HELP!

Hi K.,
I don't have any advice on what to do as my daughter is in the same boat... so at least you can know that you are not alone. My daughter will be 3 in February as well. She has shown interest off and on, has used it successfully and then has no interest. We've done EVERYTHING you have and I also have an 8 month old and have tried the whole "babies where diapers and you're a big girl now" and she will say no she's a baby and wants her diaper. It comes in phases. She'll then all of a sudden want to use the potty. We tried putting her in "big girl underwear" for a weekend and put her on the potty every 10 minutes. It never failed that as soon as she got off the potty, she'd go on the floor. It got so messy and she didn't seem to care, so we gave up.

The one bit of advice I have consistently gotten (including from her doctor) is to not push it. All kids potty train at their own speed and it's one of the few things they can control on their own, so let them be their own guide. My mom said I was "late for a girl" and was potty trained around 3 or just after. I really wanted to go to preschool but had to be potty trained and I guess that was it. So I'm hoping it will happen with my daughter too. Don't worry... she's not going to be in diapers forever. It'll happen when she's ready. My daughter is stubborn and the more I force it, the more she seems to resist just because she can.
Good luck and try to take a step back for a little while and see what happens.

I think all kids go through the "interested.......not interested" thing. Believe me when she's ready, she will. One thing i did do with mind was put up a star chart. She got gold or silver stars when she actually went potty in the potty and pink or green or red stars when she at least tried. I hope it helps

We took a long weekend and literally had our daughter do nothing but sit on the potty all weekend. We sat her potty in front of her big doll house and gave her gallons of juice - normally she only gets 1 cup of juice a day. She drank her juice and sat on the potty while she played with her dollhouse. When she actually peed in the potty, we gave her a new piece of furniture for her doll house. After a day of this, we let her get up and then set a timer for 15 minutes and every time it went off he would go sit for 15 minutes. It was a tedious few days, but within three days she went from diapers to big girl pants with fairly few accidents since then. Good luck!

My daughter just turned 3 in October and IS FULLY POTTY TRAINED!!!

For me it happened in stages. I start the process when she turned 2. She's just sit on the potty whenever I went and we'd talk. After about 6 months of that she wanted to actually USE her potty. So, she's pull down the training pants and would sit there.... and every few minutes would stand up and look in the potty to see. The 1st time she actually peed we did the "pee-pee dance". AND VIOLA! She liked to go pee-pee. She went abour every 2 hours or so. That's when she started wearing rubber pants AND pull-ups.

It took another 3 months for her to poop in the potty. She'd pee and then get a pull up to poo in. It was funny because you could tell she had to poop because she'd run to her room to find a pull up. I decided to stop buying pull ups and told her if she messed up her panties she'd be punished.

The first time she couldn't find a pull up she cried and pooped in the rubber pants. By this time she had developed a schedule. She tends to poop around the same time everyday- 4pm. So, I'd sit her down @ 4 and wait with her. We'd talk in the bathroom. After a few days of that. She was no longer scared to poop in the potty.

Once she turned 3 I told her if she pooped in her panties (rubber pants are gone), she's be punished. her punishment is sitting in her old crib for 5 minutes. I tell her that only babies sleep in cribs and poop their pants. -By this time she had a twin bed and was considered a "big girl".

It worked. We rarely have accidents. When we do, it's usally because we're out and about andI can't get to the bathroom in time.

Now- she's starting to wake up in the middle of the night to go potty. (Yippey!!)

Every child is different. I started early, but I achieved my goal by age 3.

My 3 1/2 yr. old son finally potty trained right before he turned 3, because his dad took care of it. After me trying for
about 4 months. I was exasperated. He knew I was tired of it and welcomed the challenge. It is perfect timing for your husband to do the same, with school being over for break.
However, he has to put aside a couple days and stay home with her to work on it. You should stay out of it, except to praise. With this change and also having a good bonding time with dad, it will kick in, I promise. Good luck!

Hi K., I am 57 and have 30 chilren, 28 adopted and 2 bio. They range in age from 37 to 3yr old twin girls. Our children are from China, India,Haiti,Vietnam,Korea and Kansas. Most of our children have been older(7 to 16)but I have potty trained at least 9 of my kids. I am in the midst of doing it with the twins(3 in Dec)one of the twins is potty trained and the other has NO intrest at all. I feel like you just wait until they are ready and tell everyone around you to stop bugging you and your child. I did the princess panties and we don't want to potty on the princess!! LOL!! That did it for Addy but not for Mei Mei. Hang in there she will get it!! Oh and I would not use pull ups as I think they make things worse. J.

Well, I have a son who turned 3 in September. I was feeling some pressure to get him trained and I tried it all and he was very hit and miss. I eventually just backed off gave him lots of opportunties to use the potty w/o pressure and he pretty much just trained himself when he was ready. All I can say is you can't force it because all it does it stress everyone out and gets you no where. Give her lots of positive support but know that it will happen when she is ready. My son was trained in about 4 days no accidents during the day or night since then but he decided not me.
Best of Luck and please don't drive yourself crazy with this.

The good news is that SHE'S EXCITED. Whatever you do make sure it stays that way. Every child is different and does things at their own pace. Consistency is the key to success with potty training. Continue keeping it fun with stuffed animals, books, etc. You are doing great!!! My daughter loved rewards. Whenever she tried using the potty, successful or not, we made it a BIG deal. We rewarded her with her favorite thing at the time, stickers. We clapped for her.... even called Grandma so she could tell Grandma what a good job she was doing. She'll get the hang of it.

Hi kristin,
Does she atleast do number 1 in the toilet? If she does'nt try putting her on the toilet as soon as she gets up and turning on the water. Do this every morning so she gets a routine of going in the morning. Also try to get her after meals, snacks and right before a car ride. I know it sounds like a lot of work but don't give up. I have 3 boys my oldest was the easiest by the age of 1 1/2yrs. He was fully potty trained. My second was by age 2, my last took a little longer he was 2 1/2yrs. old. We did it like a routine thing and when either of us had to go we made them try to go too. Have you tried rewarding her too. Buy some of her favorite snacks or cheap little toys. Let her choose something everytime she does it. Well good luck.

My daughter was 2 1/2 and potty trained, then regressed when her little brother came along. None of the previous tricks worked the second time around, HOWEVER....there is a thing you can do at our community center sending in a note and they have someone acting as Santa and calls your child, you can put down any requests Santa is to make of them. I put down that Santa wanted her to be in big girl underwear and he would bring her some pretty ones for Christmas. I am not kidding, after my daughter hung up from "Santa", she went in, put on her underwear and we never went backwards, NEVER, no accidents, nothing!!! Even pooping. I tell ya, sometimes when it isn't mom or dad doing the coaxing it works wonders with older kids. Do not push her, it is her goal not yours and don't worry about what her cousin is doing. Make it just about being a big girl, like if she wants something, well, you know in order to be a big girl you have to start using the potty all the time. She knows how and at her age it is about power control. Try letting her pick out her own clothes, choose what she is having for lunch and having her feel in control of her life a bit and feel like a big girl. Have a family member call and pretend to be Santa, a favorite character she has..you would be surprised! :) Good luck

I have a girl. She will be 4 in March. My daughter was trained before she turned two. That was only because we had a babysitter who was training other girls at the time, and my daughter just went in there and trained her self.

My sister-in-law has two girls, one is 9 and the other one will be 4 in a few days. She said with her youngest, it took her some time and paitence. She went out and bought five or six packages of "big" girl underwear. You may not need as many, but you may need more. She told her that diapers were for babies, and that she was not a baby anymore. She had to wear "big" girl underwear, now. She set a timer for every five minutes, weither she had to go, or not, for about a week. Then after the week with no accidents, she moved it up to 10, and so forth.

It may your daughter is under stress, with the holidays and daddy coming home. If your stressing now, just wait until after the holidays, no need to stress yourself with the busiest time of the year, here. And children do pick up on stess from the parents.

DO NOT STRESS!!!

I've shared this before on the site, but the only thing that finally worked for my daughter was for me to stop trying so hard. In fact, I basically threw up my hands and acted as if I didn't care. Would you believe that stubborn little stinker started the next day and never looked back? This was after all the kinds of things you said. I would sit on that darn bathroom floor for an hour, reading every book we had, only to have her mess herself 5 minutes after. Also, if you can swing it, use that preschool peer pressure and send her more just for a couple weeks. (That also was big for my girl.) Good luck! And keep reminding yourself--she will NOT be going off to college in diapers; she'll figure it out!

I have friends who swear by the book "How to Toilet Train Your Child in Less Than a Day". I read it. It didn't work for our first, but I got lots of help from it. I plan to try it again with our next. GL

Dear K.,

perhaps this will help. When i managed a daycare, we weren't allowed to accept children who were not potty trained. A few times i over-looked the rule to work with some very needy & desperate families with 2 1/2 yr olds not potty trained. We agreed to try my method for a week & each time was successful in 3 days. It was a win/win/win situation.

It involves drinking fluids every 20 minutes (a sip or two is enough) & then wait 20 minutes & sit on the potty for a few minutes. After the sitting, give another drink of water or milk. 20 minutes later, go back to the toilet to sit for a few minutes quietly. Repeat the process throughout the day. The snacks were pretzels or crackers, both morning & afternoon. Lunch was tuna fish sandwich, 1/2 cup of soup, & crackers. They wore diapers and the pretty panties, or the super-hero undershorts were left on the back of the toilet for when the success came.

The evenings were not regulated as the parents were too tired to bother with it. But, 2nd day, we started all over again with no pressure or unpleasant comments. (of course, i didn't wake them during nap time, but they were the 1st to the potty upon waking.) lots of praise, affirmations, and real approval if they were successful at any time. I explained that after drinking the fluids, they would start to feel a tickle down bleow their bellybuttons & then they would be able to be like the big kids & let someone know they had to go potty! I described what a b.m. Would feel like, too. The parents & i chose to use the same words to describe what to call each function so as not to confuse the child. Ex. "pee-pee goes in the potty, not in the pants/poo-poo goes in the potty, not in the pants."

by the 3rd day, it was all over! No more diapers, no more messes, and a proud little child who recognized his/her body signals & could respond appropriately. The parents didn't give them big drinks right before bedtime and they slept through the night without accidents.

I think it worked so well because i was not pressured or frustrated with them. Whether they got it right away or not, they were still affirmed as good children and so smart.

You will be pleased when this is all just a memory! My best. Brenda

i am not up to my 7 month old girl for potty training just yet but i did well enough with my, now 11 yr old, boy while his father was deployed. the one constant thing i know, children do things on thier own timeline as long as we do what we can to be supportive. it sounds like you are doing everything you need to while the rest will come when she is ready for it. good luck and just keep up the good work!

Well all kids are not ready at the same time. Usually girls are easier but not always. I bae a 3 and 4 yr old who are both trained and I will just share what I did and if it helps that would be great!!

My son is my oldest and he was extremley hard. He seemed to get pee down by age 3 with some accidents but #2 he was well over 3 1/2! So I basically took his pullups away at home. He wore just underware at home but at night we did pull ups and when we went out we did pullups. Je had a tons of accidents at first but they do get tired of that feeling on their skin. At first he did not seem to care but we got him peeing more withing 3 weeks on the potty. I also had him on kind of a potty schedule and tracked when he went. If he had an accident I simply rushed him to the potty and explained this is where big boys go. After he was going a few times a day I started a sticker chart where everytime he pottied on the potty he got to place a sticker on the chart and 2 for #2. Once the chart was full I let him pick a toy or a book. It can even be just the dollar store. For my son this worked well but it was by no means an overnight task! My daughter on the other hand was pretty easy I used these same steps except she wanted to go so she was really easy and trained by 2 1/2.

I wish you luck its a very frustrating process. Sometimes taking a break is what you guys need. I had to take several breaks with my son.LOL

I tried all of those with my 3yo son (will be in a week). He'd pee through underwear and keep playing as it ran down his leg. We put his potty chair in the kitchen, right next to the room he plays in and it has linoleum, and let him run around in just a shirt (doesn't like being naked). When he has to go he can just run over and sit on the potty. He gets pull-ups for sleeping and when we leave the house but otherwise we've only had 3 accidents in as many weeks and they were all during timeout. Next we'll move it to the bathroom. Eventually we'll work on outside of the house.

Don't stress, and letting her run around naked is key. my son potty trained himself around 2. You can't force it or MAKE them learn. Kids will train in their own time, and the more pressure you put on them the more likely they are to have problems with potty training or later on. I have never punished my children for accidents and i let them lead their own potty training. I set a potty chair in the living room or bedroom at night and let them have control.