Getting My 18 Month Old to Sleep All Night.

My children didn't sleep either. Son #1 woke every night for either milk or snack until he was 20 months. He woke at 2am. I truly believe he was hungry (he was preemie and very very small for his age). At 20 months, it stopped overnight.

Son #2 would wake about 1am and call me. He would stay up from 1am until about 4am when he would finally go to sleep. I tried everything....he just started sleeping through the night at 3 years of age!!! He still wakes sometimes but I think now that maybe he would wake because he was wet, and then couldn't get back to sleep. Not wet through but now that he is potty trained I know that he can't stand to be wet at all!!! It would wake him enough that he would want to play.

I hate to say it but for all of the yelling you mention, I agree, say it is still dark - Mommy see you in the morning, night night. Then try to go back to sleep. It sounds like she is verbal enough to tell you if she is wet or stinky.

Good luck!

I think you may be engaging her too much with the picking up, hugging, singing, kissing, etc. You've created a new ritual that is comforting in its regularity and predictability. So the middle-of-the-night ritual is just as involved as the pre-bedtime ritual, only quicker. She's not self-soothing at all because she's counting on all these things from you. There's too much interaction, too much touching, even though you are not cuddling for any length of time. So it's too little interaction to comfort her and soothe her (so she wants more holding and singing).

Try not picking her up and not talking to her. Just a back pat, "it's night night" or "it's sleep time" (whatever your code words are going to be) and out the door. If you really really feel you need to check the diaper, just reach in to the diaper area and check that, rather than hugging to get close enough for a sniff!

This extensive interaction is also engaging your brain too much, which is one reason you are so awake for so long. You're wondering how long she's going to fuss, you're thinking about how tired you are being pregnant and a working mom of 2, with no husband at home because he's working that night shift.

So, night 1, let her fuss for 10 minutes, then go in and say your code words in as soothing but firm a voice as possible., pat her back but do not pick up or hug and do not do an extensive massage, and leave. Then wait at least 20 minutes before going in again. No pat, just code words. Night 2, wait 20 minutes the first time, 1 pat, then out, then 30 minutes before going in again. Night 3, wait 30 minutes.

I know you don't want her in a wet or poopy diaper all night, but if she were to sleep through the night, would you still be going in to check her diaper? Or would you just deal with it in the morning? If the latter, then maybe you shouldn't even be checking her diaper unless she is complaining or clearly soaked through.

You really want this totally taken care of by mid-April so you can get several months of sleep before the last trimester when you a) need rest and b) can't get comfortable!

Why wouldn't she want to play and take an hour to go back to sleep? You are basically going in and playing with her. Don't do that. I'd say she is waking up due to that stage that those turning 1.5 always seem to do.

If she was in a toddler bed you could simply put a gate in her doorway then remind her to go to bed then leave her alone for a bit. This won't be quick by any means. She likes that play time and is planning on keeping it.

Could she be napping too long during the day? I always knew my kids were napping too long or needed to give up their naps when they would no longer sleep well at night.

You might try full CIO. No visit. Just CIO. That worked like a charm with both of our kids. Within days, they were sleeping through the night. They learned to self-soothe.

I would try cutting out her nap at this age.
Does she get enough activity during the day? Make sure she does. That
will help.
Maybe put a soft nightlight behind a dresser so it's not too dark in there.
So makes sure she's active (whatever that is for her stage).
Going in, making sure she's not wet & quietly holding her is fine. Be gentle, quiet.
Can you bring her into bed w/you?
At that age, my youngest was like that. It didn't last too much longer. 6 mos at most?
It really sounds like she's not that tired. She wakes up fully awake.

You could just bring her in to bed with you. It really worked for us.

It's very normal for kids that age to want hugs and snuggles - human contact. It's ok to give that to her. You're not teaching her a bad habit. You're not giving in. You are giving her what she needs.

At 18 months our kids slept on a twin mattress. They started almost every night in their own bed. If they woke in the middle of the night they would putter-patter to our bed, climb in and go back to sleep. Sure the occasional kicks were annoying, but they sure beat all the other methods we tried.

Our kids are not 7 & 5, and they sleep in their own bed.

Something to think about!

She seems pretty verbal so I'm guessing she can tell you if she's stinky. Children/adults do wake during the night, your goal is not to keep her from waking, and the only way to teach her to fall back to sleep on her own if that's your goal, is to not go in there at all.
I'm not sure what you mean when you say it takes her nearly an hour to go back to sleep on her own, do you mean if you don't go in she will move around and then go back to sleep on her own? Does she scream hysterically f you dont go in or just ask you to come in and you can calmly answer, "no honey its sleeping time." Does she have a special toy, blanket, a t shirt that smells like you might help.
Can you take a natural supplement to help you go back to sleep after she does? I take something called made of herbs, I'll look for the name....

I think you need to not go in, at all (unless she's crying like something is seriously wrong, but you know what that sound is like, and it's not the same as the bored cry). Tell her you won't be coming in during the night before she goes to sleep at night, and make sure she has whatever lovey she needs (pacifier, blankie, whatever). I used to tell my girls, "I'll see you in the morning! Now I'm going to get into my bed, and I'm going to sleep there until morning! Goodnight!" When she wakes up at night (and she will), just ignore her. It will probably be truly awful for a few nights, but soldier on. (You can always call to her, "Mommy is here. Go back to sleep!") Eventually she will self-soothe and get herself back to sleep. She's probably getting close to making it through the night with a dry diaper, or at least in any event, she's not poopy, right? Maybe just get some night time diapers so you don't have to worry that her diaper will leak.

My thoughts echo Sammy's below.
You need to stop going in, if you can. My DS has always been a nightmare sleeper - we even saw 2 sleep specialists about it after literally everything you could think of to try failed to work. So I feel your pain here.

If you can avoid going in, avoid it. (Mine would scream hysterically, climb out of his crib and bang on the door for hours. Literally, hours.) We locked him in, gated him, gave him animals, blankets, night lights, music, etc.... Nothing worked. And I never did find a solution, for the record. He just outgrew it. He's 6 now.

With my DD, we introduced the alarm clock that lights up when it is OK for her to get out of bed. That has worked like a charm for her. Maybe try that? She seems like she can communicate well with you, so she should be able to understand that green light = wake up time. Red light = sleep time.
I got ours for $30 on Amazon.