Getting a 2 Year Old to Eat

Just stop giving her snacks and junk food. She's developed a taste for it, and is developing an unhealthy habit of eating non-nutritious food. She's 2, which means that she can't reach most of the food in the house (at least, my 2-y/o is still unable to open the fridge and help himself, and can't reach the upper cabinets), so it comes down to you choosing to give her food for her to eat. Right now, she's refusing to eat healthy food because she knows that you will let her have the junk she wants. Once you stop that, she'll eat "real food" better. She won't starve, and it's better to get her to break this habit now than when she's older. She may get a little hungry, but not for long.

She's a typical two-year-old. Once they develop a taste for junk they will hold out for it. Don't be swayed though; it starts a vicious cycle that only gets worse. Don't have the stuff in the house, and don't make it a big deal if she eats or not (avoid the power struggle). Offer her healthy choices, and then walk away if she doesn't want them. When she says she's hungry, direct her to the healthy choices. It's true that a lot of them eat like a bird, but it's ok as long as it's good foods.

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I think this is the main problem all parents have in common. You make think I am mean but I give my child her meals and if she doesn't eat I just don't give her snack and she will usually eat really well at her next meal. I don't remeber doing this as a child becaue I don't think our parents pandered to us like we feel we need to do with our children. My mother never said, "If you don't like it you don't have to eat it." And she NEVER gave me my very own special dinner. I am not sure if it is guilt for bringing them into this crazy world or what. Bottom line is your child won't starve. By the way my child is in the 99% in height and 45% in wieght. These are averages so just be happy your child is not obese and at risk for diabetes.

I just read "a little about me" I was also diabetic when I was pregnant and teeter on the verge of diabetes all of the time no matter what I do. I also lost a baby. It has been three years and it still hurts sometimes. I am so sorry for your loss. You will get through this and you won't feel that way forever I promise. Hang in there.

Hi Ashley,
There was a recent thread similar to your request. It can be found here:
http://www.mamasource.com/request/recent/28216/1222986628/10
It will probably give you some helpful info.

(I recently contacted Mamasource about adding a search feature to the site. There is a lot of great info in the archives, but it can be hard to find. They said they are working on this, so that will be good.)

In the meantime, I hope you find some answers for your daughter. I'm very sorry to learn that her brother is not with you. I hope you have some support to deal with your grief? I wish you much peace and many blessings.

try to offer only good foods in a new way. Such as if she would normally eat a sandwich try cutting it with a cookie cutter into a shape-heart, star or tree. You might be able to do the same thing with certain fruits,veggis or blocks of cheese. You could also try letting her choose some foods and maybe helping to prepare. When my children were that young or younger they would help by handing the fruit or veggi's to me, I would clean, cut and they could put it in the bowl or pot. They enjoyed the opportunity to help and it made for a great time of bonding. As for losing your child during pregnancy like that must be so hard. I have had miscarriages early in the pregnancy and know how difficult that was. I can only imagine what you must feel in your situation. In Missouri at our local park we had a Angel of Hope statue. It was to honor all children that died from an early pregnancy miscarriage to children of all ages. You could bring flowers to lay at the foot of the angel if you chose to or just come and sit on the benches around the statue. Have you ever looked into a support group for people that have lost a child. I am not sure what support groups are in your area. You could check with local churches or possibly hospitals that might have them. In Missouri the funeral homes also had info on support groups in the area. Good luck and enjoy your daughter.

Dear Ashley,

I am also the mother of a two year old little girl. What fun it is! I primarily wanted to respond due to the mention of the loss of your son. What was his name? I lost a baby boy 5 years ago August 3. His name was Jake. It was a neonatal loss due to a severe intercranial hemmorage. It was life changing and devestating. Time does heal and so does looking toward God in your time of need. I also wanted to recommend a website for support in case you feel you need some. There certainly is NO shame in needing support after such a loss. It is www.nationalshareoffice.com. They also have a support group that meets at Centennial Hospital I think two times a month. It was so helpful to me. If there is anything that you would like to talk about or just get off your chest I'll be happy to email back and forth with you. Best wishes.
A.

First, I'm sorry for your loss of a baby, that is so very hard to deal with. BUT, your first concern is for your little girl.
At age 2 she should not be allowed to control you -- you are the one who controls the food availability, so the statement that all she will eat is junk and snacks tells me that you're giving in to her typical toddler whims. It's normal that they choose that over the "yukky stuff". LOL
The solution is very simple, if you don't eat junk don't give it to her either. IF you are eating junk, stop having it in the house and change your own habits to a more healthy eating plan. Don't buy it, don't keep it, don't give it to your daughter. There are so many good snacks and finger foods out there with many options for healthy eating, it makes no sense to continue feeding her food that you know, especially as a diabetic, is not good for her.
Children will NOT starve themselves, and when you as the parent take control, she will eventually come around. In the meantime, start making mealtime or snack time a stress free and fun event. Perhaps you could buy to veggie seeds and have her help plant them in a pot, help maintain them and when ripe, pick them and have her help you prepare them for eating. Kid usually love to do that, and since they had a role in "creating it", they are more likely to eat it. I made "party plates" with things like wheat crackers, cheese, apple slices, or a small pancake with cut up fruit on it in the shape of a smiley face. String cheese, yogurt, applesauce, carrot sticks, are other examples of snack type foods or even give them as part of the meal.
Another snack most kids love is dry cereal, such a honey nut cheerios, or rice chex. Be a little creative and make it a special thing, and let her "help" with fixing the food.
Offer her healthy alternatives, is she refuses to eat it, put it away until she asks for food again, then give her the same snack. She will eat at meals also if you focus on family mealtime and not on giving her junk in between that steals her appetite or willingness to try new foods.
I agree with others that if you don't get a handle on this now, it'll be much more difficult later on. Remember, you're the parent, and the responsibility of what is available for her to eat is yours. If DH objects, that's another issue, but you all should basically be eating the same healthy foods.

I don't know the answer to your problem but will tell you that my daughter is 26 months and it seemed that when she turned 2 she began to be a little picky. Before we could shovel it in without her looking at it. Now she wants to see and stick her tongue out to taste it first.
My ped said the same things yours did plus my daughter is 40% in weight. I let her have some junk but not too much till she eats. I leave stuff out for a while after she eats and it seems that when she gets hungry she runs back to the table and will take one bite and then run off to play. I am doing what the ped says and just letting it be.... she seems to eat when she gets hungry. It goes in spurts.
So.... she is normal, even for her weight because mine is the exact same thing. She is active too and I just let her eat when she wants to.
Good luck but I guess it is ok. Just make sure you give her a vitamin every day therefore you know she is getting the vitamins and minerals she needs even if she doesn't eat.

If you trust your peditrician and she says not to worry then don't. children will eat when they are hungry and their tastes change. She seems like a average growing girl.

Dear Ashley,
I am so sorry for your lost. That can make you feel so alone and afraid what lies ahead for you at this time.
Have you ever made a plate for both of you. The same thing on each plate. And set at the table together. Eating together. Laughing, talking. Maybe share thoughts of how pretty the day is. Just eat with her. Comment on how good this food is. Start with small portion. And see what happen. Take that time to be together. You will always be glad you did. I hope I helped a little. You take care Ashley. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Have a great day TODAY
Vicki W.

I'm so sorry that you have had to experience this loss of your son. Along with struggling with your own diabetes, to now have this sounds very difficult. You'd only be human if it made you very concerned about how to best feed your only surviving child.

I have the same issue, in an opposite form. I am obese (was born premature and tiny, and got force fed my to begin with and didn't let my mom stop when she tried) and now struggle with feeding my daugher (now 6) properly and trying to raise her with a good body image when I don't have a great one myself.

Anyway, you are being a good mom to be concerned, but I'd let the pediatrician take over in this case. If the doc's not worried, ease up on yourself a bit.

Keep offering good food, and try to limit the junk she gets. Let her throw some tantrums for junk and stick to your guns about serving good stuff most of the time, with the occasional less-than-great meal because you are only human and today's busy life circumstances get the best of us.

REALLY, let the MD do the worrying. You be the watchdog, but go with the professional opinion on when to really get into high gear on this. If you really can't let go, consider some personal therapy; this may be the tip of an iceberg you need to deal with. And God bless you.

Hi Ashley, I had the same problem with my son. Granted he has always been of healthy weight. But, he still did not eat much. I started giving him 1/2 to 1 Tbsp Ovaltine in his milk. It is not the recommend amount on the box, but throughout the day he get a full serving. It was the best way to make sure that he was getting his vitamins. He is 3 1/2 now and has just started eating like he should. I hope this helps. Good Luck.

I am sorry for your loss. Children go through many phases. Just continue to offer her a variety of food, and she will eat when she is hungry. There is nothing you can do to make them eat, but you can make sure when she is ready to eat it is healthy. After such a loss I can understand your worry, but she is doing a very typical thing asserting her independence.

My daughter is 27 months and refuses to eat also. At her 2 year checkup, she was only in the 32 percentile for weight , which freaked me out! You really need to know that they will not starve themselves....they WILL eat when they are hungry. A little trick also is if she refuses to eat at the table for lunch or dinner, I leave the food on the coffee table for awhile and she sometimes toddles over and take a few bites when SHE is ready. There are days when she just wants snacks and I just accept that its all she is going to eat that day, and am thankful she ate something! I know its stressful but try not to be so overwhelmed with it. Good luck!

Hi Ashley,

I have a 2.5 year old and he ebs and flows between eating well and not eating well. I continue to put out a few things at every meal but my saving grace is giving him a vitamin shake when he seems to be more picky than usual. The shake we do has all the nutrients he needs and he loves it. You can read more about it from the website where I order mine...

http://www.shaklee.net/joanne_estes/product/MealShakes

He loves the chocolate. I mix is with soy milk or whole milk. I also buy their multi-vitamin and chewable C's - he loves all of it. Now, when he shakes his head when I offer him a bite of apple sauce or carrots or green beans, I don't worry so much. Toddlers' taste buds are very sensitive and they prefer more bland foods. As long as I keep offering the healthy snacks (apples, grapes, carrots, whole grain toast with pb&jam, etc), he will move through this phase, I'm sure, just like my older child.

Good luck!

I am so sorry for your loss. I cant imagine what that is like. As for your daughter, my daughter started skipping meals because she knew she would get snacks through the day. Well, I started waiting a little longer before lunch and then only giving her the lunch leftovers for snacks. Less junk stuff that way. Didnt take long for her to start eating at meals again. Now I limit snack food to once a day and its still relatively healthy food. My daughter is also low percentile - 20%. Thats ok, everyone is unique.
L.

The more YOU stress about it, the more of an 'issue' it becomes. It can quickly become a 'power struggle', and kids can be pretty darned determined (or downright obstinate) when they're getting extra attention for something! Don't go there! Offer her the healthy food that everyone else eats. DON'T cater to 'whims' for junk food. I don't necessarily like using food as a 'reward', but if she eats a good meal (not a LOT, just 'balanced' -- a grain, a protein, a vegetable or fruit and a milk), offer her a 'junk' snack a little later (my daughter does this with her kids. P.S. she also lost a baby at 5 months after the first boy. She has another boy and a girl). Don't worry! Kids WILL eat! I don't know any American kids who've starved to death in a loving home with plenty of food (do you?).

If the pediatrician isn't concerned, should you be? I know of several 'kids' (now adults) who were petite or slim little kids and their parents 'encouraged' them to 'Please EAT'. Now they're either obese or have had real weight struggles as adults. Sad . . . . And it can so easily be prevented.

My mom made us eat everything on our plates when we were little, then when we reached adolescence and started 'growing like weeds', she made a big deal about us eating TOO MUCH. I became anorexic in 1974 (before our Dr. knew what it even WAS). I've just told my kids to eat til they're full and stop. Three of the four are not overweight, and the other (boy) is really BIG BONED and has always carried a little extra weight since adolescence (just turned 23).

My 2 year old is exactly the same. She turned 2 in July. She was a very large baby and quickly fell in the charts. At her 15 month check up she didn't even make the 10th percentile. Like your daughter, at times she has eaten well. Right now she isn't. Don't worry about it too much and don't make a big deal about when she eats. We always put a plate out for her at supper time and she may only eat a bite. We give her milk and fruit for snacks. If she eats she gets a better snack. Also try chocolate milk or pediasure. They have more calories. My daughter is now in the 50th percentile for her height, but only the 25th for her weight. She is healthy so I don't worry to much. We try to offer her a meal we know she will eat a couple times a week, even though the rest of the family is tired of the meal. I hope this eases your concerns. JoDee D

Hi. Just wanted to chime in here. First of all, I am so sorry to hear about your son. My friend's brother and his wife lost their little boy at 37 or 38 weeks about six years ago and they still go to support groups and probably always will. I hope you can find one in your area. AS for your daughter, mine just turned three and she is still that way. However, just relax and if she doesn't want to eat, don't make too big of a deal out of it. My daughter still only eats one real meal a day. The rest are just a few bites. She has still managed to go from 25th percentile to 60th (she had a growth spurt too, so she's still skinny). They know when they're hungry. AS for the snacks, I think she's testing you. Very common at this age and for the next 16 years or so. LOL. Just be firm and remember that they do need three snacks between meals, especially active ones like yours. Good luck and God Bless.

Don't give in! It's easy to give in to their junk food craving (which begins around 2 because they start to assert some independence). Keep giving her the good stuff, she won't starve herself and once she realizes it's the good stuff or nothing she'll eat the good stuff. Also, "trick" her into eating the good stuff-- ie., if she'll eat pasta, make some homemade tomato sauce and puree some carrots, meat, onions, peppers, whatever you like in it-- she'll never know the difference. Finally, if nothing works, try not to sweat it (though I know it's hard). My now 6 year old was a great eater before the age of 2... then from 2 to 4 she drove me crazy and after that she became a good eater again. Food charts, and rewards helped (ie., try a new food and earn a star... after you earn 7 stars you get a big treat) but a two year old is a little young for that. Good luck!