Full Time Mothers

Updated on March 01, 2007
P.M. asks from Hephzibah, GA
12 answers

I am a General Manager at a business I have been in for the last 6 years, I have a 15 month old son named Alex, I take him to day care in the mornings around 8am. But I feel guilty if I have to work a little later and I have not picked him up by 3pm. Since I am in a position where I make my own hours I usually don't work a full 8 hours a day because I want to go pick Alex up. It's like since Alex was born I have lost all of my drive to do my work the way I use to. I use to just about live at work before I had him and it was my biggest priority. (Other then my husband). I am afraid I am not doing my job the best of my ability anymore because I am not here as much. I would rather be with him, they are only little once and I feel as though I don't want to miss anything. I know the Daycare is good and he likes it, but I just miss him and want to be with him. I just feel as though I have lost some respect out of my employees because I am not there as much. I like my job but I love my kid more......

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So What Happened?

I am currently still working and things have gotten a little easier:) thank you all so much for your support and help. I appreciated all of your responses and they were all quite helpful, It's really nice to know I am not the only working miserable mom in the world!! lol Thanks again:)

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J.L.

answers from Memphis on

I was feeling the same as you for almost 2 years. I was crying almost every day at work. I didn't care whether I went to work or not and I was becoming depressed. Eventually, I quit. It's hard now. We don't get to go out to eat every week like we used to but I am home with my babies. I missed out on my oldest one being a baby (he's almost 3) and the first year and 1/2 of my daughter who's 18 mos now. We do without a lot but I'm glad I quit work. I couldn't think about what was happening to him and her at daycare and I couldn't leave them when they cried for me to stay. It just made it worse. Quit and be happy.

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T.G.

answers from Athens on

Your heart is telling you that your son is top priority.. I have great respect for you just trying to balance everything has got to be so difficult. And you know the saying is that when your older most people always say they wished they had spent more time with their families...no one ever says they wish they would have spent more time at work. Good luck and don't worry about what others think.. worry only about you and your family....

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C.A.

answers from Augusta on

Hey there Pammie! I say quit work and Have another, just make sure that it's a GIRL. lol I know how u feel about leaving Alex even though I get to take Kylee with me to my "little job" but if I have any adult appt. it's hard to leave and the whole time my children are on my mind. You know how I am, I am never without my children. I don't know what to tell u about work but I just want u to know I do know how u feel.

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K.S.

answers from Macon on

Hi P., I am not a full time mother, but I to had to same situation and I lost my job because of it. When that happened, I was very glad because I finally was able to take control of my life and spend more time with them. I started working at home with the FourPointGroup and it has really changed my life and outlook. I am able to set my own hours and still be with my children whenever they need me all from the comfort of my own home. I would love to share this with you. Please call me at ###-###-#### and we can schedule a time to get you all the information you need to spend more time with your most prized possesion, your baby.

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L.R.

answers from Nashville on

They are only little once. If you can take some time off from your job and then go back, go for it. The time you are taking off from your son is not something you can get back. I'm not trying to make you "feel guilty". It sounds to me like you want to spend more time with your son and if you want to and need to you should. I'm a stay at home mother, but I went back to work part time a year after my son's birth. I only worked 4 months before I quuit again. I missed my son and the relationship we had before I was working. I have nothing against working mothers so please nobody say I do. Everyone is different and needs to decide things for themselves.

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E.W.

answers from Chattanooga on

Hi P.,

I have been there. Unfortunately, I have to work as I am the mail support of the family. My husband is disabled.

We have a 5 year old girl. She is the only one I will ever have. I lost 10 others. So she is more precious to me than anything and even though she is in kindergarten right now, I hate the fact of having to go to work. I was able to stay home with her until she was 14 months old and it was wonderful!! My suggestion is, if you can afford it, stay home with him for a year. If you are a general manager, then finding another job later may not be a big problem for you. However, the time you will lose with your son will never be brought back. It may take some sacrificing but if it is possible, then try to do it. You won't regret it. You can also run an at home consulting business that won't take you away from him as much. Good luck.

E.

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C.H.

answers from Augusta on

Take a note from my husbands page. My husband works at a local resturant here (Sconyers) He's the only one there that knows how to cook the Hash but he loves spending time with us yet his job requires him to be there 12 hours and on holidays he has to go in at 12 midnight and come home at 5 in the evening b/c of caterings. When he does have to come home lets say b/c I need the car for appointments or b/c Ive become sick and need help with the kids he rushes home. But the very next day he comes to work they clearly show signs of irritation b/c he was out. My husband doesn't care what they say or think b/c he feels that if he needs to leave for his family then thats it they have to deal. He figures as long as he's making enough money to support us then the days he misses he could care less what they think. In other words ur family comes first and ur little boy will only experience things once and your children should always come first and if your still ok finacially even though u leave early then dont think twice about what ur employees think. Just be thankfull that ur job doesnt do what my husbands does. My husband cut his finger at work and he went to the office to the lady that is related to the boss and does the checks to ask for a bandaid. Before he could open his mouth she told him he wasnt going home. He said he didnt want to, just come for a bandaid. And she told him that Parents arent like they use to be that her husband was in the military and couldnt come home for any reason so my husband said "Thats b/c the army owns his once he signs himself away, but Sconyers doesnt own me. For that comment she decided to use her relation to the boss to have one of my husbands work days taken away...of course she chose one of the days they come to clean and not one of the ones he makes the food on. My husband is currently looking for another job. My husband is a genius when it comes to computers, hes actually smarter than anyone Ive ever met. I told him that he didnt have to take that kinda treatment hes too smart for that. He even goes over to the bosses house once a month to fix their computer. The boss has even told him that he doesnt know why my husband is working there, but hes working there till the next semester starts so he can go and get his computer programming degree. Its amazing how shitty people treat u just for loving your family.

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K.S.

answers from Augusta on

Hi P. -

I am a newly wed, my husband has a 2 1/2 year old, we have him every other week. Before my wedding both of us worked full time, and I would start the day off by dropping the little one off at daycare then to work by 8am and leave work at 5pm. My husband was making a good amount of money so I decided not to return to work after our honeymoon and instead I would start up my own company. Well it has been 3 months since that and I have had to go back to work, only 30 hours a week, at a family company. I have to start putting Tyler back in Daycare, I am dreading Monday when he has to go. He looks so sad when I bring him there, he has loved the last few months and being home with me. I only came back to work because things were so needed. Feel free to email me at ____@____.com.

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S.W.

answers from Atlanta on

It sounds to me like you have a wonderful situation! I'm a stay at home mom, but have often missed being in the working world, but felt like a full day was too long to be away from my kids. Don't be ashamed of your shifting priorities. You probably cram as much work into your shorter day than most employees do in a full day. Could it be that they are picking up on your guilt... the fact that maybe you've lost some respect for yourself (at your job) and so so have they? It's easy for me to say, but try to hold your head high and be proud of both of your jobs.

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D.M.

answers from Biloxi on

Hello P., may I suggest you taking a few weeks off if possible and just spend the whole time with your son. If that is not possible then just know this, before he was born your job was the most important thing you had to take care of until that tiny life that you and your husband made came along and it's all on you and your husband!! As far as your job well you will do a better job if you are happy about your son so try the time off but don't feel bad if you can't then just spend the needed time with him because believe me the day will come when he goes away for the night or weekend and that will be the worst time in your life you think but when he gets home you realize that it was a great and an ok miss to miss him but to let him go. I hope you just understood what I said. anyway I think your job will be fine and don't worry about what the others think of you as long as you are happy with him and you do your job. Do you have pictures of him everywhere at your office?? If not do it, make sure you have at least one of just you and him together...it helps with the "I miss my baby blues"
Good Luck and please let me know how things go with you!! D.

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T.

answers from Chattanooga on

Stay home with your son!! They are only young once! Once you pay the daycare and other expenses of working (work clothes, lunches, etc) how much are you really making? You can always go back to work in a few years. Good luck!!

T.C.

answers from Atlanta on

I'm experiencing the same exact thing (and my daughter is 8)
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