Family in Need of Sleep

I always used rice cereal in formula for my kids before bedtime. But it will work the same feeding to her. She does need to feel a more satisfied feeling in her little tummy at bedtime and she'll sleep better.

My daughter has used it for my grandchildren also and it works very well.

T.
www.sharethecause.com/T.

Try the method in "On Becoming Babywise" by Gary Ezzo. It worked on my kids and everyone I know who read it and used the method. Good luck.

Sounds normal to me, a mom of four. It won't last forever. Change your attitude about the night time nursings and enjoy them. you will be sleeping through the night again soon enough.

Hi R.,
I feel your pain; my family just got through this. I'm not into the cry-it-out deal, so I'm just going to share what worked for us, though it sounds like you might have already tried it. He gets dinner around 6 and bedtime is no later than 8. I nurse him to sleep following the bath-massage-etc "routine". When he would wake up in the night, I'd try to let him cry for 5 to 10 minutes max depending on the volume level. Sometimes, he'd fall back to sleep on his own, more often he'd just cry harder. In that case, I (or Dad) would go to him, hold, and rock him back to sleep without feeding him. Sometimes he'd continue to cry, but I'd just hold on and shush him and it never took more than 5 minutes for him to fall back to sleep in my arms; it just feels longer when he's screaming. Anyway, when/if he'd wake up the second time, whoever didn't get up the first time would feed him. Point being to try to gently get him used to the idea that he doesn't need to eat multiple times in the night. After a couple of weeks, we were down to one feeding after about 7 hours of straight sleep (for him). We stuck with that routine for about a month. Then, on the advice of our pediatrician at his nine-month appt, we stopped feeding him at that time as well (still getting up with him to let him know we were there). After only a few nights, he's sleeping 10 hours without a peep.

I hope this helps. If not, at the very least I hope you know you're not alone out there.

Hi R.,

I see a couple of people have mentioned the "family bed" already. My baby is 9 months old and still waking up every 2-4 hours to nurse. I start her out in her "portable crib" (pack-n-play) which is at the foot of our bed, when she wakes, and begins to toss,turn, and cry in the middle of the night, I take her and nurse her as we both drift off back to sleep. I also purchased a side rail which collapses downward when not needed so that I feel comfortable having baby in bed with me knowing she won't fall off and won't be squished by a heavy sleeper known as "Daddy". I tried feeding her a bigger meal at dinner-time, but it never did work. Since I'm staying home with her, I do not feel the need to rush her into self-sustained sleep. When she was younger she did sleep longer. Now, I think her little belly is also growing and since she's still nursing the same amount at a time, she needs to eat more often.

As for babies not needing to eat through the night once they reach 14 lbs...I don't know. My baby was only weighing 17lbs, 9oz at her 9nth month check-up. (She's been in the 25th percentile of height/weight/etc. and growing consistently within her curve.) I can't immagine how much smaller she'd been if she was denied nursing twice through the night.

Ultimately, you need to do what's best for your baby and your family. Good luck to you and your little one-whatever you decide to do.

-I.

I work with preschoolers and my colleague specializes in infants. She gave me this method and it worked like a charm. I call it the 5m:30s rule. Put your baby down in her crib and leave the room, if she cries wait 5 minutes (no more no less) and then come back into the room and soothe her for 30 seconds. Repeat the process until she falls back asleep. When she wakes up in the middle of the night repeat the process. I must admit it took us 3 days and the first night my husband and I were walking zombies but as each night progressed it got better and took less time for him to go back to sleep. He too would walk up in the middle of the night.
Good Luck!

I'm sure you've already gotten tons of responses to this, but just in case. I was in a similar situation and a friend told me about a book called "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child". It really worked for me. According to the book putting them to sleep later is the last thing you want to do, it'll only make the problem worse.
I didn't believe it either, but within a week the first night I put my son to sleep at 6:30 he was sleeping thru the night. He's almost 2 now and he now goes to sleep between 7 and 730 and sleeps thru the night still.
Hope this helps.

How much is she drinking/eating at a time? Maybe she's not eating enough and that is why she is waking up. Try changing formula if breastfeeding, try some rice cereal along with breast feeding. I read one of the moms said to let her cried it out, please don't.....that is so bad for the baby. Remember she's still a BABY so she needs the reassurance that you are there. Once she's up don't play with or watch tv maybe just bring her to bed with you with no stimulation she will fall back to sleep then you can put her back on her crib. Please don't let her cry it bulds mistrust and will back fire as she will only develop a more intense cry.

Early Childhood Teacher

I know it's tough but the best way to do it is let them cry it out. If you get them out of bed, they will keep getting up. It's so hard but let them cry. My son is 15 months old and started waking up in the middle of the night at 9 months and I had to just let him cry. Seriously takes 3-4 days but now he sleeps from 7:30-7 without ever waking up. Be in agreement with your husband not to get her and be mentally prepared that it will be hard. Way worth it for both of you! You can do it. Main key is not to pick her up!!!!!! If you do go in, do not pick her up. Just my opinion and I have 2 amazing sleepers who are both well adjusted. Good luck!!!!

Hi R. :)
My daughter was difficult when it came to sleep, too. She wouldn't fall asleep for the night until about 2 AM no matter what I did to change that and she would not fall asleep unless she was being hugged/rocked, which I didn't mind because I LOVE hugs. Other times, I'd have to nurse her back to sleep. Whenever she finally drifted off, I would lay her down and then she'd immediately wake up. IF I was fortunate enough, she would sleep for half an hour to an hour and then wake up. I was exhausted!!! I also suffered from a very serious back injury making it hard to rock to sleep such a squishy, softy, rolie-poly baby... but being that I could not resist cuddling with her :) I thought it would just be easier for me if I slept with her with one boob out and that way she could sleep with just about every option she liked available to her while being able to wake up whenever she wanted to eat and I could sleep~ at least I could stay in bed without having to jump up and fight to stay awake for longer periods of time. Nice thing was- my daughter slept longer and better and only then woke up a couple times a night, if at all. She would fall asleep on my breast snuggled into me and that was soothing, warm, safe and comforting to her. And where's a better place to be than between the two most important people in your life~ Mommy and Daddy??? I know not many may agree with that idea, but when when you're exhausted with a kid who won't sleep and all you want to do is cry... it might be worth a shot! And hey! You'd also be getting snuggly hugs that you'll wish for again when they're older! It makes for nice memories and strengthens an already extremely powerful bond between you :)

I pray you get a good night's rest soon. Maybe there's someone you trust who could watch your child while you slept for a few hours between feedings? It's hard, but you will find what works for you. You might want to check to see if your Little One is teething some more also. My children started very early and it was horrible for them. Hyland's Teething Tablets (found at Mother's Market or Whole Foods) help relax the child which enables them to rest more comfortably. It's a homeopathic remedy. I highly recommed it!

Good Luck!

Hi R.,

i totally understand what you guys goin thru!
I was in same situation when my son was 9 months old. We did the ferber method and was awful and took him almost 3 months to sleep thru the night with out crying!
In first 5 weeks was so bad, that i cry the whole time downstairs!
Everyday he was better, but total of 3 months! Not fun! I nurse him until he was 16 1/2 months!
At first i get up one or twice at night to nurse him and put him back on crib! He cry but not too bad and fall asleep!
When he finally sleeps thru the niht i didnt have to nurse him all night long and all of us got some sleep!
Is hard but the ferber method works! Every baby is diferent!
Good luck and keep trying!

Lots love
P.

Hi R., if you stop going in to her everytime she wakes up, eventually she will stop waking up. the only reason why she is doing that is because you and your husband have allowed a bad pattern to form. She wakes up cause she knows someone will go in and get her. I gave my babies rice cereal before bed time, then rocked them to sleep and they slept through the night from 6 weeks on. J.

Your not going to like this advice but I had to do it with my daughter- at her Doctors recommendation we let her scream the first night(for 5 hrs) when she finally fell asleep I had to peek in the door to make sure she was OK. Second night only 45 min(guess she knew we were not coming)-never had a problem after that, best advice I ever took. We finally got sleep!!
My daughter is 21 now and has never had any problems- sleeping or otherwise-I guess it was harder on me.
The doctor said she had me trained and I would come to her when she cried. Now we needed to train her that she did not need anyone throughout the night.

hey R.!! A. here :)
so, is she eating a good dinner? because you might try adding a banana to some rice cereal (very filling) right before bed and see if that helps at all.....you could also try putting her down earlier (many people will tell you 6:30 is the magic hour for bedtime, although that never worked for us)
something else to consider is co-sleeping although that's a very personal decision and you might not be into it...i only mention because she may wake up a lot less often, and when she does you can just roll over and kind of "sleep through" the feeding....but again, it's not for everyone! email me with your phone number if you want to chat, i lost my phone with all my numbers!! love you!

Thanks for the flower. She is probably still hungry, even if she is not crying, she may still be hungry- try feeding her more, either more milk or cereal. Are you drinking caffeine after 2 PM? Check your beverages for caffeine. Green tea, orange soda, Mtn Dew, all have tons of caffeine, even decaf has a little. I massage my baby's head and ears and back. it relaxes her. Good luck!

I had the same problem with my little one too. I read that somwhere between 9-12 mos they enter a phase where they start to differenciate each person in their immediate family and need to be reassured even if they didn't do it before. It too will stop although not soon enough for the parents! Anyway by the time they turn 12mos old it may stop or not. Unfortunately by the time they turn 12 months old, according to my readings, they don't need reassurance in the middle of the night but it has become habit. When my son turned 1 yr old my doctor suggested letting him cry it out no more than 30 minutes a night and it took four nights (the crying is less each night)for him to stop waking up at all. Have patience...its hard to hear your baby cry and not do anything about it when all you are programmed to do as a parent is respond but stick with it.Good Luck

Hi,

If you could get your hands on a baby scale, you would know exactly how much breast milk she is getting. I agree with those that suggest bananas and rice cereal. She needs to get a full meal before going down. Also, you need to let her cry if she keeps waking up or offer her water only. Help her get use to the idea that night time is for sleeping. You have allowed her to develope this pattern and it will take longer for her to accept that she'll have to wait til morning. You may want to make her wait 4 hours then 5 hours then 6, 7 and 8 hours. But as long as you jump when she crys for food she has no reason to stop the pattern. Prepare for great resistance and a lot of crying since this pattern is the only one she knows right now. Many of us have gone through this, it will get better if you don't give in.

Good Luck ~ F.

I'm a strong believer in the CIO method now! You just have to stick with it and it will work. I tried it on my 10 month old almost 1 month ago. It took 3 nights-he cried for about 30 min first wake up, then 10 the 2nd on the first night. 2nd and 3rd night even less. Its now been almost a month and he sleeps from about 8:30-5:30 or even later. I was just like you waking up every 3 hours and couldnt take it anymore! Good Luck!
S.

maybe shes teething? try some gentle naturals teething drops. maybe try to cluster feed her before bed, trying to get her to drinkand extra ounce (if you bottle feed) or nurse longer, or try rice cereal in her bottle. if that doesnt work maybe just offer her some plain water to discourage her from waking up. good luck i really hope this helps!

As hard as it is on the family, the time has come to let her just cry it out. She's trained you to co me running when she starts to cry and as the parents it's on you to break the cycle. Once she's put to bed no more nursing, no more interaction until morning. Good luck and get some ear plugs.

It sounds like her tummy isn't full enough talk with your doctor about starting some rice ceral, this does help them keep a full belly longer, she might then sleep longer through the night,

Blessings to the baby

Just let her cry it out. Be consistant, she should not be eating every 3 hours. That's a habit you have created for her. Yes, it will be terrible to hear her cry for a long time, but she WILL fall asleep again. I went through the same thing. You just need to stick with it and get through it. And eventually she will get the point that you are not going to feed her and will fall back to sleep. It may take longer then a few weeks, but you MUST stick with ONE method. You should not go in her room unless you think she has a dirty diaper or has hurt herself. I always go in the first time to make sure her diaper is clean and then say good night, and I love you then walk out. If my daughter cries again a few minutes later, I don't go in. If she cries for more then 15 minutes, then I'll go in, check her diaper, then say goodnight again, then walk out. I don't go in again if she cries right away. By then she is so tired of crying that she falls asleep. 2 times is my limit, after that, I let my daughter cry it out.
Good luck!

I'm surprised that the Ferber Method did not work. Did you follow it to the details given? A lot of these methods work, however, it has to be done the way it is directed.

You might want to check out the services of http://sleepyplanet.com/

They might be able to help you...

Good luck!

My childrens' pediatrician told us that as soon as they are 14 pounds, you can let them cry it out. It might take 3 days, but it works. They no longer need to eat in the middle of the night atthat size. It's hard to do, because you know she just wants you, but it really does work. We are just about to try it with our 4 month old daughter. She is our third child and it worked with the first two.

Hi R. O,
I just sent a private message with some cut and pasted information from other posts I have made.

I just wanted to add that...something horrible, yet necessary and eventually wonderful about becoming a parent is the ever increasing need to set loving standards with our children as they grow up. Eventually it becomes an incredible skill.

Something our kids need, probably more than anything, is to know we can set respectful, healthy standards for them because we have wisdom and understanding about things they cannot yet discern for themselves. This allows for a great foundation for the kind of trust they are going to need in our relationship with them as they start to take on bigger challenges than just sleeping through the night. Emotionally safe credibility is vital.

Our kids are going to resist and protest the increasing self-reliance they will need to master to be successful adults. It is good to have confidence in our children. How we receive their protesting and resistance tells alot about how our preparation as parents is going. If it is too much for us to handle, it is a good idea to seek out resources that strengthen that ability in us.

The Anatomy of Peace by The Arbinger Institute is a great place to start. It teaches how to stand up for the right things with a heart of peace. Kids need that when it comes to learning how to sleep.

Best of luck to you!

Ever consider "the family bed?" When my daughter was a baby, she wanted to nurse often, too. After two months of trying to nighttime parent her in what might be known as the "traditional American way" of putting her in her own crib, and me in my bed, I was so exhausted I couldn't function. So one night, out of desperation I took her in my bed and low-and-behold we slept! Hallelujah! I was so happy. And so began "the family bed," and we've slept happily ever since.