Excessive Worry While on Vacation

.

You sound like a normal Mama! Sometimes you just have to imagine the worst, face it, and know that probably the best will really happen.

Next time you travel you'll be a little more composed. Meanwhile, your children will be with people you trust. You might ask them to e-mail or text you and keep you posted on how and what they're doing. That little bit of communication will help you feel better.

Your friends offered to take care of your children - you didn't twist their arms or anything, right? So let them do it. When you get back, maybe you can take care of their children one evening, and send these good friends out (with a nice gift card) to have dinner by themselves.

I am not a big worrier by nature but when I start to worry I try to remind myself that worrying won't change any situation I am worrying about, worry won't keep my kids healthy when I am away from them, worry won't pay the bills. The only thing worry will do is cause me to lose out on life, to possible become ill, and make me less of who I want to be. I can't be the best mom and wife I can be if I am constantly wasting time worrying.

When I leave my kids with someone, I know they will be safe because I wouldn't leave them with someone who wouldn't take the best care of them. I also know accidents can happen, whether I am there or not, worrying doesn't prevent an accident.

It is normal to have some worry when you leave little ones, especially the first time. You do seem to be worrying a bit too much though. Stop putting dreadful thoughts in your own head. Have faith that all will be ok.

Chances are... you and your children are going to have a great time. You and your husband will have an awesome opportunity for some couple time which is needed in all marriages.

Try to calm down and realize that you will be ok. Think of it as an adventure. Your friends would not have offered to watch your children if they didn't mean it.

Have fun!

Okay, you are totally me! ;) I do this too. I think your feelings are pretty normal, but you need to go through with the trip anyway! Once you land in Vegas you're going to breathe a sigh of relief and realize this was the thing to do, until then, we'll you'll probably still be a mess, but you'll get over it!! I'd set up a time to check in each day, probably right before bed or during breakfast times. Your kids are going to have a blast and your friends offered, so go with it! Just be prepared to do the same for them when your friends are ready for a vacay!

it's OKAY to let go....it's okay to let someone else take care of your kids for the weekend...you are NOT imposing upon them - they OFFERED!!!!!

TAKE A VERY DEEP BREATH!!! DEEPER...now let it out slowly.....

You need to take control of your life....seriously...when one worries - it means they feel they have no control...

So start with the basics - what will happen if you die in a plane crash? Do you have a will set up so that your children will be taken care of? The likelihood that you will die in a plane crash is VERY low....

A trampling in a Vegas club? i've not seen a max exodus in ANY Vegas club. And we go to Vegas a lot and my sister lives there....

You are worrying about things you have NO CONTROL over...you are not the pilot...so trust that he is doing his job right. You are NOT imposing upon your friends - they offered...stuff happens...whether or not you are there to control it or not - stuff happens...please please please take a deep breath and allow yourself this weekend with your husband...you will be surprised at how good you feel when you take care of yourself!!

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!

I completely understand. I would be a nervous wreck too. The way I get through it is baby steps. Don't stress about the whole adventure. Take it a step at a time.

Packing, getting to the airport, the flight, night one, night two, the flight back.
Talk to your kids whenever you need to. I usually do a morning call and a bedtime, definitely before bed sometime.

As for your friends being burdened, that shouldn't be a worry. They offered. They're up for the fun and adventure.

If you haven't completed estate planning and legally assigned a guardian for your 2 kids in event of your deaths, you should be worried about leaving them. I don't think your anxiety is all that excessive or abnormal. If you think your kids would be adversely effected by separation from you, perhaps you should postpone the trip and go together when they are older. The period of time when kids are really little like yours (and mine--3 all age 6 and under) passes so quickly, sometimes I think we should just go with our instincts and resist unnecessary separation. I have not left my little ones overnight except for the 1 night in the hospital to add a sibling. I don't regret my husband and my decision not to leave them overnight unless absolutely necessary until they are much older even though we do have our estate planning complete. We traveled together to Europe several times before children, and such adventure can wait until after children are able to understand the abstract concept that Mom and Dad will return in the future. Children are the most precious things in the world, and I'm willing to give up a little recreation with their best interest at heart.

Not sure if you're spiritual or not but God does not want us to worry. Let go and let God I always say. Have faith that he is in control. All those things can happen whether u go or not! As long as you leave your children in good hands you are doing your job as a caring mother. Its only a weekend. They will be fine and you will get some (probably) much needed rest and fun!!

You could get in a car crash with them while you driving and lose them or yourself anyways. I know, it's tough and there are always going to be risks, it's a dangerous world out there. That said, I am a worry wort too and miss my kids when I got my few breaks from them;) Things that helped me were calling to check up on them a lot, trusting their caregivers and giving them their insurance cards, medical consent forms should anything happen and lots of prayers. Think of it this way, separating from them for a short, relaxing while, will only make your reunion that much sweeter. Good luck and have fun!

Please go with your husband and enjoy being a married couple for a weekend. You started out your marraige with just the two of you, and it will actually be better for your children to have parents who are well connected as marraige partners and not just co-parents. I understand the worry, the same thing really got my husband and I to sit down with an estate planner and attorney and we have a solid plan in place now for our children no matter what circumstances cause our untimely demise.

Relax and if you get the feeling to take care of somebody elses needs while you are in Vegas, look no further than the man who is taking you there! I'm sure he would appreciate all your attention for a couple of days :)

We just went away for 5 days and left our kid's at their grandparent's house for the very first time. Their grandparents live in a different state so we had to fly our kids there first. They are 7 and 22 months. I was extremely worried and everyone I knew told me they would be fine. It was the 22 month old I was so worried about. You know what? They did better than fine! They both had a good time and they really had fun with their grandparents! The 22 month old did great - she went to bed for them better than at home and she really bonded with her grandparents.

I know what I have to say will go over like a lead balloon. But maybe as a mom of young children you just aren't really interested in travel as much as you think at this time and shouldn't do so until your children are older. It sounds like you're doing it because you think it's a good idea, not because you really need or want to go. In the end, you might be able to achieve the same goal without even leaving your home town.

Your fears are valid ones. This stuff can and does happen. Everyone knows there have been some pretty weird and unprecedented stuff happening around the world from weather to unrest and attacks. Some people are more home-bodies and being with their children trumps vacations and away time. There is no crime in preferring to be with your children...even for reasons such as their safety and well being. And yes, it IS a burden and sacrifice on others...and the kids too...even if they agree to help you out. Cashing in those baby sitting chips is a choice that needs to be made carefully. You have to use those chips wisely so you don't use them up or wear out your welcome with people. Maybe you don't feel this is worth it.

It is not weird to have these feelings. You aren't any more fragile than anyone else. You have different priorities but for some reason you feel guilty about it. It is not being a "helicopter" parent. It won't smother them or ruin your marriage either. It just means you have different priorities.

I say if you feel this strongly about traveling without your kids, don't do it. There is no pressing reason to do so. You and your husband can still have time alone closer to home. Why take days off? One night may be all you both need to feel right with the world. And that is okay.

And what is wrong with family trips? The kids eventually go to sleep, don't they? You can have alone time then.

You may have to be more creative as a couple in finding alone time, but you don't have to sacrifice your family and peace of mind in the process.

I think somewhere down the line, it became the social norm to think a couple needs to leave their children at home to have a healthy relationship and adequate time alone.

This may be true for some, it's certainly not true for all. Stop beating yourself up, stop second guessing, and stop apologizing. Just don't go and feel fine with it. There is no right or wrong, there is only what makes you feel happy and sure that your kids are well taken care of. Being close to them makes you feel happy. So there.

I am like that every time I travel without the kids and mine are 11 and 14. The same thoughts - what if I deprive my kids of their mother just because I want to enjoy a weekend away with my girl friends, what if the plane crashes, what if they get sick, etc. BUT every time I went and came back I was a happier mom for having had some "me" time and I appreciate them more, and they realize what mom does for them every day, a win-win situation all around. So perhaps discuss your worries with your husband and friends, kiss your friends for doing this for you and perhaps offer to reciprocate, and ENJOY!

Everyone needs a little time occasionally to reconnect with their spouse and enjoy each other! You have a wonderful friend that will take excellent care of your children and as soon as you get home you can make the offer to watch her children for a weekend so she and her husband can enjoy some time together! You absolutely can not go through life wondering what if?! God is in control and you just have to enjoy life and your family everyday!

Dear M.,

Your kids will be fine! :-) Worrying only gives us stress, wrinkles, diseases, bad attitudes, and the list go on... notice... nothing positive can come out of you worrying. We have 8 kids (22,21,20,17,16,14,7 and 5), and when our kids are (or have been) young like yours, we always feel a little apprehensive too, but we let it go and enjoy our much needed time together without the kids. The truth is that all those horrible things you fear, are not exclusive to you being gone. They can happen any time. I'm not pointing it out to scare you but to help you understand that bad things can happen or not happen any time. Worrying will not change that probability, it will change how you feel and the relationship with your husband. Put it all in the hands of God and enjoy your time with your spouse. You will be very glad you did. Maintaining your relationship with your husband is essential to your happiness as well as the happiness of your kids. Best wishes and God bless! :-)

oh sweetie it will be just fine!!!!! i am a worrier as well. if you worry about the plane thing i have heard of lots of families where the mom and dad take different flights "just in case". go, have fun, and trust me it will help ease your worries. have fun and take advantage.