Breastfed 12 Month Old Will Not Quit

Breastfeeding Guildelines from the WHO (World Health Organization)

Over the past decades, evidence for the health advantages of breastfeeding and recommendations for practice have continued to increase. WHO can now say with full confidence that breastfeeding reduces child mortality and has health benefits that extend into adulthood. On a population basis, EXCLUSIVE BREASTFEEDING FOR THE FIRST 6 MONTHS of life is the recommended way of feeding infants, followed by continued breastfeeding with appropriate complementary foods for up to TWO YEARS OR BEYOND.

To enable mothers to establish and sustain exclusive breastfeeding for six months, WHO and UNICEF recommend:

•Initiation of breastfeeding within the first hour of life;
•Exclusive breastfeeding - that is, the infant only receives breastmilk without any additional food or drink, not even water;
•Breastfeeding on demand - that is, as often as the child wants, day and night;
•No use of bottles, teats or pacifiers.

Breastmilk is the natural first food for babies, it provides all the energy and nutrients that the infant needs for the first months of life, and it continues to provide up to half or more of a child’s nutritional needs during the second half of the first year, and up to one-third during the second year of life.

I breastfed both of my sons for 16 months since they had self-weaned to 1 charity feeding/day. My daughter was EXCLUSIVELY breastfed for 18 months - literally, no solid food, formula, etc. At 18 months, I could leave her for 8 hours, expecting her to eat something solid, but I would return and she would not have eaten anything. She would hold out for me. So, at 18 months, I left for the weekend and left her at home with her dad and brothers and she started eating. I returned to tell her the milk was all gone. She was irritated, but seemed ok with it within a few days. I might have breastfed her longer, but with her it was all or nothing....and I needed to be away longer than 8 hours and she wouldn't take a bottle either.

If you consider to continue to BF, then you need to draw lines. It sound like you are going to need them with a whole lot of ther other things as well. If she wants to BF, then it has to be in a certain spot and she can't pull on your shirt. Don't do it at the same place you want to comfort a sleepy baby. Remember, she is still a baby, not a 3 year old. Enjoy this time, but make some rules and be consistent.

PS

I weaned my 1st son completely by 16 months since I was going on vacation for 2 weeks and he was staying with my parents. My mom was freaking that he wasn't weaned 100%, but down to 1 nusring in the am and looking back, he would have been fine...since when I returned, I still had breastmilk for another 6 months and I wished I had the time with him. I didn't start back up because I didn't want to confuse him by telling him it was gone and then being a liar.

Good luck!

Oh boy! Sounds like she is really not ready to stop. I wonder if you give in and stop the struggle for a while, if you'd be less frustrated with it. If your focus has been weaning for the last four months, then I can see how frustrated you would be. If you don't have a particular reason to stop (going back to work etc) (although I'm not discounting your personal preference...I know you want your body back) then maybe you should set a longer goal...let's say weaned in six months, or only nursing before bed, etc. Are you trying to go cold turkey with her? You need to start gradually....drop one feeding at a time, either the time most inconvenient for you or when you have less milk. Then wait a little bit and drop another and another. Usually the first thing in the morning and right before bed feedings are the last to go. I nursed my daughter for almost two years, which was way longer than I had thought I would. She would take bottles of breastmilk, but we started introducing them at four weeks. There may be ways of naturally and safely decreasing your milk supply, which would frustrate her and make it easier to wean. Good luck.

Try dropping one nursing session at a time. Whichever she seems to not need the most. Then every 5-7 days, try to drop another.
I don't know why you're sore and tired, if her latch is good, you shouldn't be at all sore. Really, you're getting to the best part of nursing if you ask most moms. Nursing a toddler is so easy because you can use it to head-off tantrums, comfort booboos, settle her when she's not sure of where she is, etc...plus you don't have to worry about her getting all her nutrition from milk any more (thought she will get about 75% of what she needs through the second year if you let her continue to nurse which also means you don't have to worry about what you feed her all the time like other moms do!).
Anyhow...you can't do it cold-turkey, it's just not fair to her. What if someone all of a sudden told you that you couldn't do the ONE THING you loved most in the world with no explination? It's not just about being the very best thing she eats, she nurses for so many other reasons, you can't just turn that off:(
Good Luck!

I saw your update. I have left both sons at different times and neither weaned because I was gone. They just picked up where we had left off.

Breastfeeding is so beneficial (which I'm sure you know if you've breastfed this long), and if your daughter really wants to continue, maybe you should just let her continue to nurse and SLOWLY try to drop feedings. Don't worry about your vacation - if your daughter KNOWS how drink from a sippy cup, then she will drink when she's thirsty and doesn't have another option. Who knows, if you leave some pumped breastmilk at home when you're on your vacation, maybe she'll even learn to take a bottle.

I hear ya! I breastfed my boobie-demanding daughter until she was about 22 months. That was the point at which I was done with it, because she was climbing all over me to nurse and it was getting tiresome. But by then we were only nursing 1-2x/day, so it wasn't a huge demand compared to where we were a year before then.

I agree with the PPs that it would be better to wean gradually, dropping one feeding at a time. This is a little easier as they get older, because they can understand your explanations, like, "the milk is taking a nap now, we can't have mama milk now" or I've even heard moms putting Band-Aids on their nipples and saying that the breasts have boo-boos and there's no milk right now. My daughter's now 3, so I'm having a hard time imagining if she would have comprehended that when she was 12 months old. But those are other ideas. You may need to just get out of the house for when you start dropping the feeding and institute a new routine (having your husband feed her, for instance) so that she gets used to not nursing at that time, and you don't have to fight the battle solo (and lose another bra!). And I would stick to it, even if she refuses to eat while you're out. If she's hungry, she will eventually eat if there's food in front of her. Of course, if she doesn't have any set routines, this is going to be really hard. It may be time to start a regular routine and sticking to it. At this age, I don't think she'll be traumatized by the change. Angry, sure. But she won't be needing therapy for it. :)

I don't think your going away for a few days is going to wean her cold-turkey, though, if she's anything like my kid she'll eat what she has to eat while you're away and then go right back to the usual routine of nursing when you return.

I agree, too, though, that nursing a toddler is not always a tiresome thing, it came in very handy when we all traveled to visit family in England when DD was 18 months old -- helped her to sleep on the planes and trains, etc. And if she ever got sick, it was a great comfort to her (and to me!). So, for me, cutting back gradually rather than cold-turkey was the better option. Good luck!

Check out the book "The Nursing Mother's Guide to Weaning"

Yikes! You're in a tough spot! Since she's eating solid foods, make sure she's eating as much as you can get in(3 meals, 2 snacks), so that she's taking less breast milk. If she'll eat fruits that are naturally juicy that's great. You don't have to wait for her to start drinking milk to wean. You can feed her yogurt, cheese, even oatmeal made with whole milk to sneak the milk in. When I started weaning my son he would only drink a half juice/half water mix from a sippy cup. And he only drank about one sippy cup full per day. As time went on, he has increased that to two sippy cups a day. He still has one nursing a day left to wean, and he now drinks about half a cup of milk from his sippy. But I give him those other calcium rich foods every day. (BTW- my son drinks much more fluid if we put the cup on the floor during play time. He'll grab it and sip on his own, or push it around in his car and then grab a sip. A little messy, but worth it. This might help your daughter, especially since she doesn't have a specific schedule. Maybe she'll graze on the cup for the novelty of it! My son took to the cup more when his grandma pretended to drink from it, and when we pretended to feed his bear with it.) It seems like your little one i just determined to nurse if you are in the room. Can anyone watch her in the AM for a few days in a row? They could play and feed her breakfast and a snack, maybe try and get her down for a nap and you could come back in the afternoon. That would be kind of like weaning her from a feeding or two. I'm worried that you might end up doing cold turkey. Bring your pump on vacation so that you're not uncomfortable at least! You can "wean" yourself with the pump. Good luck!

It sounds like you are being given the perfect opportunity to wean your daughter. Try dropping a feeding or two over the next couple of weeks. You will most likely need to be out of the house for this to work and rely on someone else. In order for my son to transition to a bottle so I could return to work I had to leave him with my husband, because babies often won't take a bottle from mom. They have no insintive to take milk from another source when mom is around. If you don't have any luck dropping feedings before you go, don't worry about it. During that 4 days she will have to start taking milk from a bottle or even better a sippy cup. At 12 month she is able to digest cows milk anyway so this is a perfect time. To make it easier, your husband might try warming up the milk the first few times so it is closer to the temp she is used to. Also, while you are gone, just don't pump, unless absolutely necessary to relieve any engorgement. At the end of those 4 days, you milk will most likely been dried up so, when you get back she will no longer be able to nurse. If she tries, she will see you have no milk and will get fustrated that she isn't getting anything and will move on even for you. Good luck. The end is in sight.

I'm so sorry... .I know it can be hard to deny your little baby... When I had to wean (thrush among other problems) only my husband could feed my son the bottle for the first 3 days... He wouldn't take it from me.... There was a bit of crying involved...... But- maybe if you get something that tastes good... (the new toddler formulas that are vanilla or chocolate flavored). My son hated the taste of formula at first... I would mix it half and half with breast milk... or tried pumping......... Now he happily gulps his formula...

Good luck... I know that must be difficult.

When I was weaning my daughter, I was afraid she wasnt getting enough liquids. She didnt like milk and she wouldnt drink much water. The pediatrician told me to give her some juicy fruits like watermelon and peaches. He also said I could give her chocolate milk. So don't worry about her dehydrating. He told me her body wouldn't let her and the fruit would help.
As for getting her to stop trying, whenever she decides she wants to nurse give her to your husband if he's around and leave the room. I don't know how well he is with crying though, (my husband can't handle it). Is there a friend or family member that can come help for the day? I think you just need to get her away from you when that happens. I am sure it is difficult though, but you should find some way, even if it's putting her in her crib. I agree with Angie, someone else needs to feed her a bottle or sippy cup or whatever.
Also if you do wait til you leave for those 4 days, I don't think it will be traumatic for her. She only associates nursing with you and doesn't expect it from other people so she probably won't even be thinking about it.

This kind of makes me think of my son. I was ready to wean him at around 12 months....mostly b/c I was to be the maid of honor in a wedding, and would be away for a couple of days and was worried about not fitting into the dress! Anyway, he was just NOT ready. If I was laying down, he'd come right over and try to nurse, and I even had trouble getting him to nap until I would nurse him. He was only nursing a couple times a day at this point. But I swear he lost interest only a few weeks later, so it worked out. I don't know if that will be the case with you or not, but it really seems like he needed those few extra weeks! And the tabasco sauce thing sounds like something my husband would suggest! Ha! :)

I feel your pain! My last baby did not want to wean either. She too would constantly have her hands down my shirt, pull on my bra straps, and bury her face in my chest. It was frustrating for me, and it modivated me to work on weaning. I kept the first thing in the morning feeding and bedtime feedings for a while, and the dropped the morning feeding. Right after she turned 2 my husband and I went away for the weekend alone and that was all she wrote! Keep offering the sippys, my daughter refused them too, but she eventually came around. Maybe try something new and exciting like a juice box. Little kids love the novelty of those! My little one still will not drink regular milk, but she gets her calcium from other things like cheese, ice cream, and she will eat fruit loops with milk. Hang in there, you will get through this! My middle child was a tough one too, and it didn't help me cope with my youngest any better!

Hi, J.:
Have you tried to contact your local breast feeding consultant at your local hospital or the La Leche League?

www.llli.org

Good luck. D.