Weeing an Alost 1 Year Old off of Nursing!

Updated on February 06, 2010
M.F. asks from Fairfield, CA
11 answers

ok, so here's my situation! my son will be 1 next week and since he was born he's been breastfed ONLY! well, he's had a bottle before, but when he turned 6 months and got sick for the first time he refused the bottle, so i've been breastfeeding him ever since! Now, i know some of you moms will critisize me of this, but he still eats/nurses every 3 hours pretty much, even at night!! I know, i know...he shouldn't be!! Also, he still sleeps w/ mommy and daddy in bed, he's nursed to sleep all the time for naps or night time! so basically, everytime i feed him, he falls asleep! So it's an emergancy that i get him off nursing, i would love to keep giving him my milk as much as i can, but i would like to give it to him in a bottle, sippy cup or sippy straw cup! He does take juice, ONLY, in a sippy straw cup!! i'm happy about that, but nothing else!! i have tried putting my milk in the sippy straw cup, but he won't take it! i don't understand why, well maybe i do! he's use to taking my milk from mommy and not some sippy cup that doesn't have mommy's smell or comfort! so, for all you mommies out there that have exclusively breastfed their babies up to a year, can you give me any advice? i really need to ween him off because his teeth are starting to irritate my nipples and he's almost 1, he should get off the "boob" now! hahaha..thank you so much!

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K.M.

answers from Miami on

I personally don't see it as an "emergency." Why would anyone criticize you for nursing every 3 hours still? It's still within the realm of completely normal. My daughter was much like that at a year-nursing frequently and usually nursing to sleep. She also refused all bottles from 4 months on. Around a year, I started offering cow milk in straw sippy cup. I wasn't trying to wean her completely, but I did want her to have something to drink when I wasn't around since I was trying to go back to work. She was also still waking up at night and nursing frequently during the day. I remember how overwhelming it was and to save my sanity and keep nursing I cut out some nursing sessions. Getting her down to only 4 times a day and during the night at 16 months helped my sanity a lot! Then when I was feeling overwhelmed again, I weaned her down to sleep times only. Then we dropped the nurse for nap session and finally we dropped the nurse to bed session. Here are some of the techniques I used:

1. Only nursed her in 2 spots since we have 2 stories. I nursed her in her bedroom and in our bed since she often came into our bed in the middle of the night anyway. Before, I nursed her all over the house, so I wanted her to only associate nursing with those 2 areas.

2. Lots of distraction and no sitting down.

3. Don't offer, don't refuse. (I just did this in the beginning, but she wanted to nurse every 5 minutes when she was bored and it drove me crazy so I did #4.)

4. Offer water in a cup and tell her when we'll nurse again- after lunch, at nap, etc.

5. Had a going to sleep routine that ended with nursing. Then later I moved the nursing to the next to last thing we did. Then I gradually shortened the length of time we nursed.

6. When weaning, the sessions involving sleep are USUALLY the LAST to be weaned because kids are usually attached to them the most.

I do not recommend cold turkey weaning for anyone. It's very cruel to a child and could lead to plugged ducts or mastitis in Mom. My daughter was fully weaned by 25 months. It was gradual and not traumatic and I'm so glad we did it that way. It sounds like you're trying to wean because "that's what you do at 1" versus either of you being ready. I would really recommend a gradual weaning approach. You might find it easier to continue nursing if you're not doing it as much cause you cut out some sessions. I'm not someone who thinks everyone needs to nurse until their kid goes to kindergarten, but you did say you want to keep giving him your milk. Anyway, hope this helps and regardless of whether you wean now or in a few months, it is really awesome that you've nursed as long as you have. Good job mom!!!

PS You didn't ask for any advice on getting him out of your bed, but I just wanted to suggest that if smelling your milk is contributing to him waking up at night, you could maybe start him in his crib in the beginning of the night and bring him into bed with you when he wakes later. Not trying to ruin your cosleeping relationship, but it was another idea I wanted to mention.

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B.M.

answers from San Antonio on

Oh, gosh, I totally understand your situation as I've been there with my 2nd (and last) baby. I experienced what you are going through 24 years ago but it remains vivid in my mind. I breast fed Heather for a year. I wasn't nursing every 3 hours, but I was nursing her full-time with no bottles. She also slept with us more often than not and loved the comfort zone that you describe. Frankly, so did I......just as much. The day I chose to stop breast feeding her was the day she almost bit my nipple off. She was about 2 weeks shy of her first birthday. I can almost still feel the pain of that moment. It's the closest I've ever come to passing out. I immediately knew breast feeding was over. I tried all the things you've done....expressing my milk and putting it in bottles or sippy cups and then trying to introduce a regular bottle in between breast milk feedings. I even enlisted my husband's help and asked him to feed her either breast milk in a bottle or a regular bottle so she would not be close to me and my scent, etc. It was quite a challenge to say the least. This would be the point to interject that my daughter was (and is) extremely head strong. She just was NOT going to have any part of it and refused to take expressed milk bottles, a regular bottle or being fed by my husband, mother, friends, etc. After fighting it for a couple of days and getting a little milk down her but not much, I finally decided going cold turkey would be the only way for either one of us to survive making the break. I refused to give her any breast milk after that point because trying to wean her by easing off on the breast milk/ breast feeding was NOT working. Once she got a little...she held out for more...even when she was miserable. I did offer her many bottles during that time, but she steadfastly refused. For at least 24+ hours she cried. For 24+ hours I cried. Aside from the emotional upheaval, exhaustion and stress, my breasts were killing me. I only expressed enough to relieve the pressure but not enough to continue milk production. Of course, I needed my milk to dry up. Anyway, after a day or two of complete drama and exhaustion for both of us she finally awoke from a nap and happily took a bottle from me and it was all over with. She smiled and cooed and was her normal self again with me feeding her at that point. All in all it came down to a battle of wills for us. I had to stop nursing and I tried my very best to do it the textbook / kind way of weaning her a little at a time. I tried every trick known to do so. NOTHING worked. She demanded my breast and refused to eat when she couldn't get it. She made her position very clear. :-) At the beginning of the situation I'd do my best to do it my way, but due to concern about her refusing to eat I'd give in and then we'd have to start all over from scratch. Once I made the hard core decision to go cold turkey...it was hell (can I use that word on this forum?) for both of us....but she finally became hungry enough that she gave in and took bottles. At that point and once we both had a night of good sleep, life was once again back to normal with a happy baby and a happy mom. Still...I well remember all the stress, drama and exhaustion. As an aside, in the middle of all the drama I sat down and detailed all the drama in a letter to her. I put the letter in her baby book and it's still there today. She enjoys reading it once in a while when we open the book and we always have a good laugh. Whatever you choose to do...just remember "this too shall pass." I wish you and your family all the best.

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M.E.

answers from San Francisco on

I breastfed both my daughters until they were 2. There's no rush and who cares if he's still nursing. I breastfed to get my daughters to sleep, they slept with me, etc. Don't be so h*** o* yourself. How fabulous that you breastfed for a year. Keep going! I found that my breasts got used to the teeth and it wasn't an issue. However, when I got pregnant with baby no. 2 my nipples suddenly became very sensitive to nursing. So sensitive that I couldn't continue. Good-luck!

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E.M.

answers from Bakersfield on

HI mama-
I suggest pumping and alternating breastfeeding. He is still getting all breastmilk, but not at the expense of your body anymore. Try the platex drop in bottles. The nipples are really soft. You can go to the store and handle all the nipples, too, to see which is the softest. That one is also a darker yellow, so more "natural" looking than the clear ones. If you need to, squeeze some of your pumped breast milk into his mouth so he knows it is the same stuff as mommy gives him. It may take a few weeks, or up to a month to totally ween him.
I hope this helps! Good luck!

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J.V.

answers from Chicago on

I exclusively breastfeed till about month 11. Daughter refused every bottle I offered her as well. She also had me up every 3 hours till I decided to wean her around 10 months. For night weaning, I started with one feed and offered her water instead. She would fuss about it, but eventually give in, when I would say," no sweetie, no milk, water." After a few nights of that, she just stopped waking. I offered the water in a cup.

I don't remember when I started offering the milk, but I think it was a few weeks before I stopped nursing her.I started with lunch time and simply said to her," you're a big girl now, you drink milk out of a cup." She fussed a bit, but after a few days accepted the milk in a cup with no fussing. And no, I didn't give in and nurse her. At that time, I think she was only nursing first thing in the morning, 5am, then before nap, and then before bed. I did nap first and then bed.

So, I gradually cut out the night feeds, and then, to my amazement, she just weaned. I though I had a few more weeks to go, but the little thing just decided she was done. It was so sad, and I cried for days, but it was wonderful at the same time: she started sleeping 12 hours a night with no wakings!

Good luck!

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J.T.

answers from Sacramento on

I weaned my son at 21 months and he did not want to stop either. Someone suggested that I put bandaids on my nipples at the times he was used to nursing and explain to him that my nipples are soar and hurt when I nurse him so I need bandaids to protect them and he couldn't nurse anymore. He was very sympathetic and even when he was tired and was falling asleep or waking up and wanting the reassurance of breastfeeding, he would see and feel the bandaids and remember. We transitioned to cuddling instead so he didn't feel abandoned and he was fine with that alone within a couple days. I wore the bandaids for about a week and then didn't need them anymore. Good luck!

J.

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K.M.

answers from Sacramento on

I know where you are. I breastfed my little girl until 2 months short of her 4th birthday. She finally decided (with some encouragement) that is was time to stop. Ulitmately it was her decision. I started considering weening at 2 and then just stopped offering it, but never said no. We then stopped feeding during the day. The last feed to go was the going to sleep feed and that finally went when she was ready. I waited until she was old enough to apply some reasoning and that helped make the whole process smooth.

There is no rush to stop unless you feel that you cannot do it any longer. Return to the Lanolin cream for the nipples and give a consequence if he bites you or uses his teeth on your nipples. I would push her nose into my breast so she stopped, then I would talk to her about the fact that she was hurting me and would have to stop having a breastfeed if she continued. She bit so h*** o*e day that I could not feed on that side for a couple of days as everytime I tried it would really hurt and she would taste blood and know something was not right so would stop. She was very concerned about the well being of my breasts (and still is). It is very cute.

Good luck with your decision.
K.

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A.H.

answers from Austin on

There is a great book called "the Nursing mothers guide to weaning". It was recommended to me by a lactation consultant. I slowly weaned my son when he turned 1 year old. He did refuse to drink milk and I freaked out. I am a working mother so he had to drink my pumped milk from a bottle and cup. I would recommend, if you are pumping to mix a cup of 3/4 breast milk and 1/4 whole milk and see if he will drink that. Remember to warm it up. Gradually change the ratios and see how he does. That worked for me up to a point. The hardest feeding for my son to give up was when I would pick him from daycare. He had been away from me all day and wanted that comfort. The only thing that worked in that instance was giving him warm milk with a little chocolate in it. I would cuddle and hold him while he drank it. It took a lot of time and encouragement but we did it. My last time to breastfeed him was when he turned 18 mos old. I will tell you at one point the only thing he would drink was vanilla flavored pediasure. I did try everything with him. Now he is 2 and loves milk. He prefers milk over juice. So, good luck.

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R.K.

answers from San Francisco on

don't be in a rush to stop nursing. doctors in this country recommend 2 years of nursing, six months of only breastmilk when they're first born.

is the emergency that you need more sleep? i can relate - my girl was nursing 2-3 times a night until we did Cry-it out (she didn't cry much by the way) at 14 or 15 months. she kept nursing in the morning and before bed for another year after she started sleeping through the night.
don't take away this wonderful gift of breastmilk because you think you "should." in the meantime keep offering him milk in cups or sippy cups, or better yet, have someone else give it to him.
good luck!

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T.K.

answers from Chico on

I breastfeed for over 2 years my 1st son and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. He wasn't even really ready when we weaned him, but we were taking a two week honeymoon and I didn't want to be engorged. I told my son that he drank all of mommy's milk and it was all gone. We switched him to regular milk, though he'd only drink it if it was chocolate....think he was used to the sweetness of breast milk.

Just ask yourself, is my child's age the only reason I want to wean? If it is, don't bother until he's ready. If there are other reasons, then it's up to you =)

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K.G.

answers from Detroit on

If the only reasons you are going to wean her is becausse you "should" and his teeth are irrirating your nipple you may want to rethink weaning. The World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding for at least the first 2 years! The USA is one of the only counties that does not practice extended BFing. As far as his teeth you may just need to work on his latch. If you do decide to wean that do it gradually. When I was ready to start weaning I would institute the don't ask don't refuse policy. I didn't offer to nurse but if they asked I didn't refuse. Then gradually I would start to offer other things to eat of drink or get them involved in an activity to distract them. It usually took about 3 months to wean but it was a slow and gradual process for both of us.

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