Bedroom Sharing Issues- HELP!!!!!!

I would try some kind of divider for the girls' room. It could be anything, storage cubes, whatever. That way the 13yr old gets her privacy. You could do the same thing and put the two youngest in the bigger room but then you'll just have to put the girls back together in 2-3 years probably, especially since you mentioned it'll be at least 5 yrs before you could make a change in houses. Good Luck!!!

Hi M.
As always you have gotten tons of great advice. I didn't get a chance to read everyone but I wanted to throw something out there that struck a "heart string". Personally I think either way would work out. If you keep the girls together ONE day they will look back and laugh and be strong friends/sisters because of it. It will also teach the older one that something you have to make the best of a situation as we can't always have what we want and I think that is something lacking in this new generation. However, it could work out the other way as well. Here is what I wanted to share. There were several moms that said "my brother and I shared rooms it is was just fine" and I believe them, but that was back when our government/society wasn't upside down! I would hate to think that because you were trying to make the best decision for your family and doing what you think is right that the government (CPS) felt they had to get involved. Like the one mom said, you have to protect yourself. It would only take a simple comment from one of your kids to tell another kid that opposite sex siblings were sharing a bedroom, to get back to an "overly involved" parent to call the school....blah blah blah and make a good situation bad. Unfortunately that is the society we are in. I would tell you to keep the girls together, I love the divider idea or even let them set their room up and paint each side differently to make it "theirs" but the facts are the facts - 2 girls - 1 boy - 3 rooms. My sister and I are 4 years apart in age and we had our own growing pains as well - but looking back I loved it because we are best friends now and before we both got married we shared an apartment together after living separate for many years. Good luck! Just try to make it fun - life isn't about what happens but how you react to what happens.

I am a fraternal twin and my brother and I shared a room until we were 12 with no issues at all. As a matter of fact, we moved to a bigger house then and had seperate rooms but at night we always seemed to end up I'm the same room for about 6 months because we missed eachother. Don't let people make you think it's wrong, my parents didn't let it bother them and my brother and I are close to this day.

I would absoulutely not change their rooms. You need to keep the girls together. How much time do they spend in the bedroom? I know there should be some amount of privacy and respect buy there also has to be comprimising and compatibility. I have 3 kids: 1 girl almost 17, another daughter 14 and my son 13. The girls share a small bedroom with a small closet and my son has the smallest bedroom with the smallest closet. All five of us share one bathroom. It gets tough and tense many times but the kids learn to adust with some guidance, of course. I feel so many kids today are so entitled. They have their own bedroom, bathroom, phone, tv, computer, closet, bathroom etc. I think they should deal with a little struggle and sharing. I don't mean to sound preachy but I think it builds character. If the girls are fighting and arguing excessively you will have to decide how you want to handle it. Whether that be less time in their bedroom and more time in a common area, which I believe is also a good idea. You must establish acceptalbe rules they follow that will help them share a space. Good luck

I haven't read the rest of the replies yet, but I can tell you what I know from experience (on the kids' end).

I am 5 years older than my brother & 7 years older than my sister. We all shared a room until I was almost 13. Then we moved to a 3 bedroom house & I got my own room. My brother & sister (then newly 8 & almost 6) shared a room. They were closer in ages & got along better. It wasn't really an issues until I turned 16.

That summer, my mom moved me out of my bedroom & into one with my sister while I was gone on a school trip. She did technically keep my sister in my brother's room. He had bunk beds so my sister slept in the his room, but all of her things were in my room.

That was a bad summer. My sister & I fought constantly & I was mad all the time. In the end, my mom switched the rooms back & moved my brother & sister back into the same room fully. With so much of an age difference, she would make messes that I would be left to clean up. She & her friends would dig through my stuff & play with my things. And I never had the privacy a 16 year old craves.

When Mama moved my brother & sister back into the same room, they made the rule that when someone was changing clothes, the other kid had to leave the room. This still granted them the privacy they needed, but kept the peace in our house.

I guess I don't see the problem. If everyone is ok with it, they are siblings. The best way to get around gender and sex hang-ups later on is to expose them to differences at an early age. This is a great way to do it!

Hi M.,
Get a room divider for the largest room and keep the girls right where they are, the divider will afford some privacy for the oldest girl and make the youngest respect that privacy. You would be making a big mistake by putting your son and daughter in the same room, because a lot of times, it can causes problems down the road.And your hubby could build a room divider, out of cork board and then they would have their own side to decorate and put their art work or whatever on it. Good luck I also want to add this , their are lot of busy bodies in this world that like to cause and create problems in this world for good people, and I would not put myself in the position where any questions could comeup. One nasty call from a neighbor and CPS would frown on the arrangement of brother and sister sleeping in the same room.So protect yourself!!

I would say let the younger two share a room. Give your older daughter the space and privacy she needs and wants. Perhaps when the younger girl is 10 or 11 you will need put the girls back together. For now it will not be a problem to have the younger ones share.

I think putting the 2 younger ones together is a great idea. They are siblings, regardless of gender, and since they are so much closer in age, they share more interests and probably have bedtime closer together too! Your 13 year old needs her space, for privacy & social reasons too. When the younger ones approach about age 10, then it may be time to move the girls back in together. Your older one will be more mature, hopefully compromise a litte easier, and the younger daughter will be wanting looking up to big sis a little more, hopefully. I say try it! If it doesn't work out the worst thing that happens is you have to move furniture again! Good luck.

Hi M.! I would grant the request. It may help all the siblings relationships. My little brother is two years younger than I and we shared a room until I was in 8th grade. I think this was stretching it on my parents' part for what should be acceptable and I had wanted my own room from the time I was around your oldest daughter's age. But, when we were in grade school, my brother and I had a lot of fun. We were given the largest bedroom in the house since we shared and my parents were able to make private and public spaces for us. We shared a toy and desk area. But, our bed areas were private...this let me stay up and read after my brother went to sleep. We used screens but you could also hang curtain rods around the sleeping areas to make them more private for each child.

We just faced this issue as well, though ours are a bit younger - almost 5yo boy and almost 3yo girl. We used a dresser and 2 back-to-back bookcases to divide their very large room, and they love it. All (okay, most) of their toys are in the former nursery, which is much smaller than their current room. I think you don't have anything to worry about yet. Just give each of them a "personal" space so they can have "their area", and enforce that from the start. By the time you really want them in separate rooms, your oldest may have gone away to school, or you might have moved. I'm all for siblings sharing rooms at home. My sister and I shared for 15 years - never did get along - but it certainly prepared me for dorm life. Good luck!

Perhaps if your house has a finished basement or attic that you could convert to a bedroom for your oldest that would solve the problem. If that isn't an option then try the room switch but teach them about respecting each other's privacy as they get older. This way you don't have to worry about any inappropriate behavior as children tend to be curious. Make sure that they know they can come to you and your husband with any questions that they have and answer them honestly. Then maybe you can completely avoid any issues as they grow. Good luck.

I think the idea of your 2 youngest getting along well enough to share a room is a great idea! What "consequences" of them sharing a room are you worried about? It would have helped had you specified.....
I remember being 13 with a 6 yr old brother. A 13 yr old is at a time in her life where she NEEDS her privacy, & probably resents sharing her room with a child of 7-I know I would!
Your 2 youngest would have to have separate rooms at some point but right now let your kids re-arrange-you have several years before you have to worry about possible "consequences" of children of different genders sharing a room. Make sure the 2 youngest know not to mess with each other's possessions, or you might have to deal with fist fights as your 1st "consequence"! I have the feeling that you're worried about the younger kids interacting in a possibly "sexual" way if they share a room, such as "playing doctor". At their ages, I don't think that's an issue (yet!)! Even that issue can be handled tactfully, such as making a rule that neither child interferes in any way with his/her roommate at the very start of changing rooms.
Your husband sounds like a good man-you're a very lucky woman!

I am the second of 4 kids, my brother being the youngest. My sisters and I shared a room thorough high school and well into college (before my older sister got married and moved on, etc.).

My older sister is 3 years older, and younger sister is 2 years younger, so there was a 5 year span in the age difference.

As much as it might make sense to keep the family harmony now by acquiesing to your older daughters request, in my mind it's going to do greater harm. Your daughters are going to have to learn to live in the same house together just like the rest of you guys do, and the sooner they figure out that out the better. I went through several years of "growing pains" with my sisters, and we all lived to joke about it. (They were slobs, I was the neat one - and once they were so mad at me about it, they let our gerbil loose on my bed - the gerbil was appropriately named "poopsey"....so I came to the room once with a bed full of gerbil poop!)

Sooner or later, they'll realize how to "get out of each other's way" and not bother each other as much. They'll go throught he "I hate you" shouting matches to the "She's not staying on her side of the room" and "she's ruining all my stuff." This is typical.

For what it's worth, and good luck!!

I grew up in a household where there were 3 kids, 4 years between each kid. We ran every posssible bedroom sharing scenario over the years because we moved ALOT. My brother and I ( who is 4 years younger than me) shared off and on until I was about 12, then I insisted on my own room and he shared with our younger sister (who is four years younger than him. Eventually as he approached puberty (about 11 or 12) he got tired of sharing and mom moved the youngest sister back in with me so he could have his turn with his own room. By that time I was a teenager and getting ready to leave home so I was only there to sleep anyways and we let the youngest decorate our room to her liking. The only major rule we had was that everyone had to get dressed in the bathroom rather than in the bedroom. With there being six years between your girls I think you'd be fine letting the younger kids share a few more years, and then when they start wanting to change the arrangement your oldest just needs to understand that by that point she's gotten to enjoy several years on her own and it won't hurt to share with her younger sister for the little time she has left at home before college.

Maybe if the two are sharing a room you could put up a partition between the two beds to have a bit of privacy. Offices have partitions. It may not go to the ceiling, but it would provide some privacy for changing clothes, sleeping and studying. You could always change things later if it didn't work out. Perhaps using an office partition or screen between the beds would help with the girls as well.

Instead of switching the bedrooms, maybe there is an area of the house that could be used just for the oldest. Maybe a part of the living room or family room could be partitioned or screened off with a private play or study area. This could be useful for each of the kids when they want to play alone, have friends over or want to study.

Growing up my brother and sister shared a room until they were 7 or 8. Then my sister bunked with me for about 6 mos. until my parents couldn't stand the fighting anymore. Then they converted the basement into a bedroom for me. I don't think that there is anything wrong with siblings sharing a room regardless of their gender. When they get to be 10 or 12, they'll probably prefer some privacy. Until then they should be fine.

My niece and nephew shared a bedroom for over two years after they moved here from TN and their home was being built. They are 6 years apart and no one seemed to be bothered much by it. They had bunk beds at the time and a large room which was divided in half by a throw rug. Just think back to when entire families lived in homes with just two bedrooms and had 4 or 5 children! I think it would be all right, personally.

Give the older girl the smaller room when she starts high school with the understanding that she will have it for 4 years.
When she goes to college put the boy back in the smaller room and tell her that when she is home, she will have to share with her sister as before.
I think this can work if the other two respect each other and the room is mainly for sleeping and perhaps study. (You could ensure this by getting them a bunk bed and desks in the room.)
Also they would have to understand no sleepovers with friends at home unless it was a slumber party on the floor of the family room for example.

I agree let them share. Who knows, maybe it will even work out until your oldest is off to college, and then the two will have their own rooms. I'm sure it will depend on how quickly your younger daughter starts puberty and is needing her own space...

If your 13yo wants her own room and the younger two want to share, I don't see a problem. But just to throw out another idea, maybe you could work out a schedule where they rotate in and out of the "single" room. It would give them each time alone, and also possibly give them each a stronger one-on-one relationship with the other two. If you want to give your older daughter more independence, you could link time in the "single" to their age. i.e., they could each have it for as many weeks as they are old, which would give your 13yo significantly more time alone.

From experience of sharing a room with my sister, i so under stand your daugther and i hated sharing a room with her.what worked for me was to tape off an area where only i could cross and she had a part where she could only go.