Kids Sharing Rooms

My middle child (girl) and youngest (boy) shared a room and bed by choice from the time he was about 2 yrs. old and she was then 6ish up until 1 1/2 yrs. ago. He is now nearly 7 and she's nearly 12. They still have a great bond and it was sweet to walk in and see them all snuggled together. There were only a few times when one would complain that the other took up too much room on the twin bed. Other than that, we had no problems. I think most kids will start to complain or wish for their own room when they are ready to. I know some people frown on opposite sexes sharing, and I think def. by the time puberty hits, they should be separated, as that's when most kids want privacy and space.

I had 4 children in the span of 5 1/2 yrs. My older 2 daughters shared 1 room and my boy/girl twins shared another. When we moved to a bigger house I kept them in the same room set ups until the twins were 7. At that point we moved my son to another room simply because we had the room to do it. The funny part? His sister would get scared and end up sleeping on the floor in his room a couple times a week. We thought it was funny that although her sisters had extra beds in their room (for friend sleep overs) she always decided to sleep in her brother's room on the floor.

What I have noticed and experienced is that siblings who share a room have a much closer relationship and bond than most no matter the age difference. I think the problems are what you'd expect- One is cleaner, one is messier, "don't touch my stuff" kind of problems. I was talking with our babysitter last night who has two families living in a two bedroom apt. Where we live its very common to have several people in one bedroom. So you know, first world problems.

My daughter and son (2 years apart) shared a room until she was in 3rd/4th grade. I loved how they used to talk in bed after lights out - sharing their day, thoughts, conspiring against us etc. After they moved into their own rooms, they took turns sleeping on the floor in a sleeping bag in each other's room because they missed being together. Eventually that stopped too. They are now in their 30's, married with families and live a continent apart, but they are still very close and are in touch with each other via text, facetime etc. - and still conspiring against us!

My granddaughters (4 and 7) share a room at home and also at my house. They are learning to share, take turns, and get along. No major problems - just the usual sibling conflicts.

I've had same sex kids share a bedroom when they were younger (bunk beds). They had roughly same bedtime and were into same things (toys etc.) so it was easy.

We never had any issues (around same age as yours). It was just the norm for them.

I shared a room growing up with an age gap like between your girls with a sister. My sister and I are still best buds, so it was good for us. I just had to respect her stuff and not touch it! If one of us had a friend over and we wanted to hang out in our room, we just made allowances for that. Was never a big deal.

As for girl/boy .. I know my niece and nephew shared a room for years but when it got to be a matter of privacy, that's when they stopped. It just got to the point where the older one said they wanted their own room and they were able to accommodate them.

I'd ask your kids. What des the 7 year old girl say? If she'd rather share with a younger sister, kind of makes it easy right?

Good luck :)

I shared for most of my childhood. My sister is 3.5 yrs younger.

Pros: Someone there if you got scared.
You learned to share.
You could tell each other secrets at night.
Prepares you for sharing a dorm room.

Cons: No space for yourself. Less privacy. Little sister up in your stuff because it's her room, too.

IMO, it's not a terrible thing for kids to share rooms. The bigger problem could be age. My DH is 8 yrs younger than his brother and they had to share and when big bro got to his teen years, he headed for the basement. I shared til I was in late HS when I was fighting with my sister. But then I turned around and had to share all through college, sometimes with TWO other women. Joke was on me.

My sister is having her kids share a room out of necessity. They plan to move before their son starts K and then will have 2 rooms. I think in most cases if you move them into different rooms before puberty (though that will vary per kid, some as young as 9) or before they want more privacy (maybe around 7-8), they'll be fine.

My boys are three years apart and have shared a room for nearly ten years now. They only use their room for sleeping, changing and storing their stuff. They don't hang out, play, watch tv, entertain or do homework in their room (although they may lie in bed and read or play on their ipods). We haven't had any problems yet. They do fight now and then, but I don't think that is directly related to sharing a room. Benefits? I guess they have learned to share, they are probably closer than if they hadn't shared a room, they learn that people can live within their means and I guess if they ever did get scared they had each other and didn't need to wake us up. My boys sleep in bunk beds. They have been on the same sleep schedule all along. Now that the older one has to get up early for rehearsals etc, it doesn't bother the younger one at all. When they have sleep overs the kids usually camp out in the living room or rec room, or a tent in the back yard. I think there are laws about how long same sex siblings can share a room, so you might want to check that.

I think when they start asking that would be a good time to switch.

Next year, you could even have the boy (age 6) and youngest (age 3) share a room.

You have been looking to buy another house or add on to your current. Is you goal to get another bedroom? It the plan is to not have opposite sex in a room together, I would set a goal of before puberty for the oldest.

My sister and I (3 years apart) shared a room from the day she was born until the day I got married and moved out of my parents' house. I hated it. There was no privacy, and no personal space. An imaginary line down the center of the room didn't cut it.

My girls who are 6 years apart share a room after the youngest was potty trained. In all honesty it has been helpful for both of them. My oldest needed absolute darkness and quiet in order to fall asleep, which could be a problem, and the youngest would stay up (in her own bed) until 11 or 12am because she was scared by herself.

That was the main reason for moving them in together. Now the youngest falls asleep rather quickly and the oldest can fall asleep with a little night light on and some noise.

There are some fights but for the most part it has helped both of our girls.

I can't comment on the mixed gender kids sharing a room, but my 2 boys are almost 4 years apart, and they love sharing - we have an extra room, but they both prefer to be together. They are 5 and 9 right now.

My girls asked to share a room. They are 3 years apart in age. Our main problem arises when it is time to clean the room. The younger one will happily pick up. The older one will sit and talk and try to come up with a plan about who will pick up what so that things are *fair*. By the time she has come up with her plan of equitable distribution, the other child has already cleaned up most of the things. Which is possibly (probably) how she likes it but we feel it is important for her to show some responsibility and do her share. So we will hear "that's not mine, I'm not picking it up" and "I didn't get those toys out so I'm not putting them away."

Another problem is that sometimes one will be trying to do something in their room and the other one will want to go in to do something else and cause a disruption and then an argument.

The benefits are that they probably share better than they would with separate rooms. They usually play well together which may or may not be a result of sharing a room.

I fully plan on moving them to separate rooms when the older one hits puberty/teenage land. If one was a boy, I think I'd separate them at 10 or 11.

I don't have kids who share a room... but when younger, from the age of baby .. :) to about 8, I shared a room with my brother.. it's what we did.. didn't have a lot of money so that was how we managed.. we did ok.. played ok together... then when in foster care from age 10 and on.. shared a room with TWO other girls.. I was the oldest at 10... it was ok.. BUT.. I took better care of my things than the other two and that caused a problem because they wanted to play with my things, but since they didn't take care of toys, it used to irritate me. then............. in my teens.. at 15, I had one roomate when I was in a grouphome and again, I was so used to sharing a room that I didn't mind so much.. plus,. the girl was nice.. I took half for my things and my roomie took the other, we knew not to mess with the other persons things..
bottomline.. if you have to share.. you learn to deal with it..
however, I do think that opposite sex is a bigger dilemma... with kids going through puberty.. well, you just want your own space so a sister may not want her brother in the room or vice versa.. but hey. .some families have entire families sleeping in one room..

my boys with 4 years between them shared a small bedroom for about 5 years with very few issues at all. they were both excited to get their own rooms when we moved to a bigger place, but then they kinda missed each other<G>.
the problems and benefits were all pretty much along the lines that one would expect. they got cranky with each other periodically, and we had to get create with ways for them to carve out some solo space in our little house. but kids are creative- a blanket fort with a stern 'no trespassing- your brother needs a break from you' edict from on high generally did the trick. some squabbling over cleaning up. but all in all they got along great.
i also see no issues with opposite kids sharing a room. it's very common in most places in the world. when your oldest hits puberty will be time enough to change it up.
ETA, oh geez, the predictable hyper-focus on incest from the poster who's always going there. so creepy.
khairete
S.

My oldest son and step-daughter (same age) shared a room for years, and then my two younger sons (6 & 8 years younger than their older siblings) still share a room.

With the older two, SD used to be here only on weekends and vacations so the sharing wasn't an issue. She moved in with us FT when she was 13 so we needed to add a bedroom because boy-girl teenage step-siblings sharing a room is just weird. It took us over a year to actually have the bedroom built because we had other renovation projects that needed to be done first, so they survived. Their shared room was basically for sleeping, studying and storing clothes and personal items, and they dressed and groomed elsewhere, with privacy.

Once your younger daughter is past the true baby age (when she's fully potty trained, sleeps through the night, isn't going to choke herself on small objects or climb a bookcase or drink nail polish) then it would be fine for her and her older sister to room share. My younger sister and I are almost 5 years apart but we shared a room because the single bedroom in our house was awarded to my older sister, the oldest of us 5 (my brothers also shared a room). Although my older sister and I were closer in age, she "earned" the single room as a privilege of being the oldest. My younger sister and I were very close and enjoyed rooming together. We were in the same room from ages 9 & 4 to 16 & 11 (when my older sister left for college). It was a good experience for both of us!

At some point your older child is just going to want some privacy.

She will also be on a different sleeping schedule because she will have more homework etc.

Maybe this summer is a good time to ask them about it.

This way it will not interfere with their set schedules right now.
My sister and I shared a room for a while, but we had a larger age difference. She was almost 5 years younger and did not understand why she had to go to bed so early as compared to me. She wanted to p;ay with y stuff, but was too young to play with some of the items.. etc..

Also when I had friends over, I could not just close my bedroom door, it was her room too.

My older daughter and son shared a room for almost 4 years, it was great. They were preschool/early elementary age. The probably could have shared until the oldest hit puberty but we moved to a bigger house.
And honestly, unless your daughters are the most easy going, mellow angels I can't imagine them EVER sharing a room. Five years is a huge gap, and the older one is going to be annoyed by her little sister from about the age of 11 until she leaves for college.
If they need to share out of necessity just be prepared for daily drama and a major hormonal war zone at least once a week :-(

I would have already made the change. I truly think putting boys and girls together makes a situation where exploring what they have that's different and alike is way too easy. Seriously. a lot of "reported" incest is between siblings.

I can say that most kids won't do that but why put that temptation there?

If you have 3 bedrooms I'd say put the girls together and let the boy have the smaller of all bedrooms.

I think you are at the limit for opposite sex kids sharing a room--they will both be getting more and more curious about each other's privates, and no matter how many times we all tell our kids about respect for their bodies, there is always that curiosity. Your son will probably start exploring his body a little more regularly within the next months or years. (I say this after seeing far too many curious explorations among siblings I have babysat over the years.)

As far as the girls sharing--they will be fine, but be sure to give your older child her own shelf for her special things she doesn't want her little sister messing with, and to delineate their personal spaces.