Background Checks?

Updated on October 16, 2008
A.H. asks from Fort Worth, TX
12 answers

I have ben referred to a very nice young woman by a church in the area to watch my son one day a week in her home. We hit it off from the beginning but I do not know her at all. I have had a great interview with her, great references and she agreed that I could run a background check to make me feel better. My son likes her too. Since I am dropping my 11 month old son off at her home, should I run a background check on her husband too? Is that overboard? My first instinct is that I can't be too careful but I don't want to make her mad or offended. What would you do? My gut says that there is nothing to worry about but I still may need it for peace of mind. Any thoughts?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

B.B.

answers from Dallas on

I would, just to be safe. I think a gut feeling goes a long way, but unfortunately, you can't be too careful these days.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.F.

answers from Dallas on

If she doesn't have a problem with a background check on her but balks at one on her husband, there might be a problem. As the below poster noted, check the sex offender registry and recognize that it is your responsibility to do due diligence in making this decision and whatever is necessary to make you feel comfortable. I would also, if you have not already, ask her if she has a problem with you occasionally dropping by during the day because you are new to this. If you do the latter, don't go at a normal lunchtime, make arragements with your boss to take a late or early lunch to ensure that it is truly a surprise when you show up.

Also, do some googling or call your pediatrician relative to what to watch for, what changes in behavior might suggest that there is a problem. Even if they cannot talk, the child will let you know that something is not right.

Home care is a great option but if you still don't feel comfortable, don't rule out regular daycare. I found one across the street from where I worked, giving me the ability to pop over there at any time during the day and with a daycare, there are other people around and people are less likely to do something when they can be caught.

Also make sure you work out before hand what happens if she is sick or if she needs to go somewhere with the children. Years ago when mine were still little and a friend had a doctor's appointment, I wound up with the three little ones tht she took care of sitting like little owls on my couch watching a movie, lol. If you choose home care you need to make back-up plans in case she and her kids are ill and yours cannot come on those days. Finding more than one local regular daycare available for drop-ins can solve that problem.

B.C.

answers from Dallas on

I do in-home childcare and I (nor my husband) would have ANY problem running a background check on the both of us. You can't be too careful with your kids. If they have a problem with it, then they might have something to hide. You should always be able to trust the people involved in your child's life!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.D.

answers from Dallas on

I would definitely do a background check! I had a friend of 10 yrs who was very close to our family (she was in my wedding and I was in hers) and found out that her husband was a registered sex offender through the Texas registry. She didn't even bother to tell me. My point is that you never know what kind of secrets a person has. She and her husband should have no problems with this and if they do I wouldn't want my child there. You can never be too careful when it comes to your kiddo!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.K.

answers from Dallas on

If she is only keeping your child and no one else's, then ask her to be listed with the state. The state will run those background checks but they will not monitor her like they would if she was registered or licensed. If she is keeping other children besides yours then she needs to be with the state childcare licensing. If she is not with the state then she is keeping children illegally. Go to the Texas Department of Family and Regulatory Services, you can read about all of the rules and regulations.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.T.

answers from Dallas on

I think everyone who is going to be around the children should have a background check. That is how public schools and churches do it. If he or she becomes upset that you ask, find a different sitter!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.L.

answers from Dallas on

I agree with you-you can never be too careful. I would check the husband's background. If she gets mad or offended, take your son somewhere else.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.D.

answers from Dallas on

Go ahead and request it. If she has any issues with it then that is not the place for your child to be. My sitter provided us with background checks on everyone over 14 in the home (sitter, her hubby, and two of her own kids). Good luck!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.S.

answers from Wichita Falls on

If she is licensed or registered with TXDPRS, they have already done background checks on both her and her husband - and any other regular visitor to her home over 14 years of age. If she's not registered, I'd ask her why not.

Then, if I weren't comfortable asking myself I'd blame my husband for wanting a background check on her husband and anyone else who lives there. I blame him for that stuff all the time. :) He blames me sometimes too.

S.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

C.B.

answers from Dallas on

Do a background check. No one ever thinks people are bad, we all make that mistake. I would have all adults in that house fingerprinted, this is the only sure way to know if people have felonies etc. These checks are done with the fbi and are not just state wide. they are done in the whole country.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.R.

answers from Dallas on

I couldn't agree more with Amanda. Your child is your most precious gift and you have to care for it as much as possible before you hand him over to God. She should understand and if she gets affended that she is not the right one for this job.

I hope this helps.
Blessings
M.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.C.

answers from Dallas on

No, it isn't overboard.

Back when I baby sat, There were a few mother's who stayed while I watched ahead of time(before they would really need me), to see how I was with the children.
I don't think this would be out of the normal either, being you don't personally know her or her husband.
You could also take this opportunity to tell her a FEW things that might make watching your baby easier for both of you, routines, habits, likes to have his head rubbed when falling asleep, or this means that, etc.. and see how she handles it espcially if she has children.

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions

Related Searches