Am I over Thinking This... Almost 4 Year Old Behavor

What are the repercussions to him "behaving badly" ie., acting out or loosing control? I haven't experienced what you are, but if I was, I would explain to him that we don't just do "what ever we want whenever we want" and that if he does there will be repercussions. I definitely see the 4yo boys on my daughters playground being more "ruff" etc than the girls so I'm guessing it's somewhat normal :-) Good luck!!

The big questions are whether the behavior issues came on suddenly and whether they are also experienced at home. Our son has ADHD and his issues at preschool were similar to your son's, but magnified. It wasn't just the lack of impulse control (which isn't that uncommon at this age), but it was also combined with other problems like severe hyperactivity (trust me, the teacher will tell you if it's not normal) and inability to focus. It didn't come on suddenly but had been an issue for a long time, both at school and at home. If you are concerned, though, I've found it never hurts to contact the pediatrician for advice. Ours knew right away our situation wasn't normal, but you may also get reassurance in your situation that your son is just a typical boy.
Good luck!

medicating a child is not going to change the childs basic desires to do
something that they want to do.most behavoir modifying medication for
children is really just tyroid pills, read the label, if you dont believe me.
"because i wanted to" ok, the next time he wants something tell him "no"
why?"because i wanted to" if he hears that phrase often enough directing at
him, rather then him directing at someone else, he might get the picture.
because if you dont mofify this behavoir now, it will only get worse.
K. h.

i think he is being a little boy, which of course does not make it okay. 3 year olds are not introspective. 'because i wanted to' is honest, and it's all that he understands. but the response needs to be immediate and of consequence. if possible, it should relate to the action in some way.
i don't think your little boy is horrid and it's unlikely that he has some sort of behavioral disorder. 3 year olds are impulsive and not prone to empathy (understanding how their actions will make someone else feel), so all the more reason to start working with 'em on it.
khairete
S.

I think it is time to teach him that some things are unacceptable and will not be tolerated. There is a classic line in my house that goes like this, "We do NOT do _____. Do you understand?" I am clear, I am unequivocal, and I make sure to lay out the consequences if that behavior happens again.

I usually try to also give her an alternate, more positive way to express herself.

I can't really give you an answer other than say we are experiencing this with our almost 4 yo. I think the 3s are so much worse than the 2s. we are getting No! all the time, talking back, doing what he wants, and being rough to kids at school. It is worse when he is tired. He hit some kid in the head with a truck and he really didn't know why. Now we repeat each morning, "do we hit our friends, no. Do we kick our friends? no, do we shove our friends, no. Are we nice to our friends? Yes." We go over it several times. I hold my breath and pray that he gets through the day without hurting any of the kids there.

Hi,
First, while he is at school, they need to discipline him. If he does something like dump dirt, he needs to pay the price immediately. Putting him in time out or taking TV away later means nothing.
He needs consistent discipline. If the teachers let him get away with stuff like that some of the time, they are making the whole situation worse. They need to state the rules very clearly - as do you - and then follow through.
Is he like this at home? It seems like he wants attention and the only way to get it is to act out. The teachers need to catch him being good and praise him.
I'd drop in at different times of day during the week to check out what is happening. My son - a very impulsive, but extremely bright little boy - was disliked by his teacher and spent hours in time out... I was NOT impressed. I changed his preschool and he never had another issue. He was still chatty and impulsive, but they dealt with him much better. They gave him jobs to do and gave him some responsibility. It was exactly what he needed. The other thing I did was put him into Karate to burn off the energy and teach more discipline. It worked!

YMMV
LBC

He needs to see the big picture and learn to control his impulses. The big picture is, "What will happen if I do this?" Alot of children his age have trouble with impulses and they are getting to the age where u can rationalize with them. Make sure that you state your expectations for play before you let him play, that way he cant say he didnt know. For example, if you take him to the slide make sure you tell him to slide down the right way and not to go up it. You will get tired of hearing your voice but it works.

My first question is.....What are you doing for punishment when these incidents happen, the reports from the teachers etc? Dumping dirt on another person's head is not "just being a little boy" and is not acceptable at any age. He needs to learn that there will be poor consequences to his poor choices (aka dumping dirt on someone). I don't think you're overthinking this at all, in fact, I think you need to act swiftly to get this behavior under control, because calls from teachers in PreK will lead to calls from teachers in elementary school and so on............

A couple of thoughts ... Attention - even if you or the teachers are mad - is still attention. So there may have been something nice about being sick and getting extra attention from you that he's missing that you might find a way to give him in other ways.
...Try thinking about it less in terms of discipline (that was a bad thing that you did!) and more in terms of empathy for the other child ("how do you think that made your friend feel?") or safety ("how do you think your friend would have felt if that dirt got in their eyes. We have to take care of our friends and keep them safe"). Boys have a lot of trouble with empathy because they are testing things out - experimenting with the physical rather than thinking about the consequences of events. Resources like this site: http://www.activityvillage.co.uk/teach_kids_empathy.htm can help you start to point things out.
This really helped me: kids do well if they can. "Viewing challenging behavior as the result of lagging skills (kids do well if they can) rather than as poor motivation (kids do well if they want to) has significant ramifications for how adults interact with kids with behavioral challenges and try to help them. A wide range of lagging skills can set the stage for challenging behavior. Challenging behavior usually occurs in response to predictable triggers, circumstances, or unsolved problems. Adults have a strong tendency to automatically apply consequences to challenging behavior. Whether of the natural or artificial variety, consequences do not teach lagging cognitive skills or help kids solve problems." If that resonates, check out The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children (Paperback) by Ross Greene.
Good luck!